Introduction

Star Quotes are what I am left with when I finish reading a book. Whenever I add a new book in my bookshelf , I make sure to include the Star Quotes from that book in there, next to a review (example ).

This “book” is a compilation of all the Star Quotes you can find on my website as of today. I don’t expect much people to read this in its entirety: it might feel like trying to drink from a fire hose. Attempt at your own peril! 😄 It’s a convenient way for me to quickly Ctrl-F information. Feel free to try it out too, you might find something useful!

If you would like to dive deeper into the quotes of a book, you may click the link to the review (located under each cover image) and find a link to my raw, handwritten notes. Maybe you’ll find a Star Quote of your own in there!

I hope you will get enjoyment from this dynamic collection!

Sun Sep 15 21:56:10 UTC 2024

P.S.

Yes, rather unconventionally, this book begins on chapter 11. That’s the results of my constantly evolving learning system. I unfortunately did not start keeping useful notes of my lectures until into book 11, which happens to be Team Topologies. Technically, I could have begun at chapter 1, but I wanted to keep the same numeration as the one from my bookshelf , the reason being that, for any book on my bookshelf, if you visit https://felixleger.com/##, where ## is the number of the book, you will directly be taken to the review I wrote for it, including its Star Quotes. 😄 I hope this feature makes the confusion slightly more worth it. Whenever a chapter number gets skipped is because I was not able to identify a Star Quote in the book related to that number.

#11: Team Topologies

(p. 5) People never restrict their communication to strictly follow the lines on the org chart.
(p. 18) Reverse Conway maneuver: Evolve your teams and organizational structure to achieve the desired architecture.
(p. 31) Who is on the team matters less than team dynamics.
(p. 47) Minimize the cognitive load of others. Benefits will compound in a positive way.
(p. 67) “Bot-scout rule”: Leave the code better than you found it.
(p. 70) SRE teams are optional. They’re not essential.
(p. 81) The four fundamental team topologies:
- Stream-aligned team
- Enabling team
- Complicated-subsystem team
- Platform team
(p. 112) Many problems in delivering software come from accidentally unclear boundaries between teams and their responsibilities (responsibility gaps).
(p. 142) The three ways team interact:
- Collaboration mode
- X-as-a-service mode
- Facilitating mode

#12: The DevOps Handbook

(p. xxxiv) The result of technical debt is that our most fragile artifacts support our most important revenue-generating systems and our most critical projects.
(p. 14) The Three Ways of DevOps:
- Work in small batches
- Have fast feedback and monitoring
- Have a generative culture
  - Actively seed and share information to enable the organization to achieve its mission
  - Responsibilities are shared throughout the value stream
  - Failure results in reflection, genuine inquiry
(p. 22) Stop Starting. Start Finishing.
(p. 27) Waste is activities that can be bypassed without affecting the result.
(p. 49) The idea behind blameless postmortems:
- By removing blame, you remove fear.
- By removing fear, you enable honesty.
- Honesty enables prevention.
(p. 49) In the absence of improvements, processes degrade over time due to chaos and entropy. Even more important than daily work is the improvement of daily work.
(p. 71) A system of record is almost always the most difficult part to change in software. It is usually the part that limits our ability to make changes in interdependent systems.
(p. 107) In the team, we want to:
- encourage learning
- help overcome learning anxiety
- ensure people have relevant skills
- ensure people have a defined career roadmap
(p. 172) A recommended definition of “done”: Integrated, tested, working, shippable code, demonstrated in prod-like environment, created from trunk using a one-click process and validated with automated tests.
(p. 213) The strangler fig application pattern is used to rewrite critical systems and make the transition easier:
1. Place existing functionality behind an API, where it remains unchanged
2. Implement new functionality using desired architecture, making calls to the old system when necessary.
(p. 232) The five universal logging levels:
- DEBUG: Anything that happens in the program. Often disabled in production, but enabled for troubleshooting.
- INFO: Actions that are user-driven or system specific (e.g. “beginning credit card transaction”)
- WARN: A condition that could potentially become an error (e.g. database call taking longer than threshold)
- ERROR: Error conditions (e.g. API call failures)
- FATAL: When we must terminate (e.g. program crash)
(p. 232) When deciding whether a message is ERROR or WARN, imagine getting a call for it at 4 AM. For example, “low printer toner” is not an error.
(p. 239) We need metrics at these levels:
- Business level: nb sales, revenue of sales, AB testing results, etc.
- Application level: transaction times, user response times, etc.
- Infrastructure level (db, OS, network, storage): CPU, disk usage, etc.
- Client software level: app errors or crashes, etc.
- Deployment pipeline level: build pipeline status, change deployment lead time, deployment frequencies, test env promotions, env status, etc.
(p. 248) After an outage,
1. Ask what indicators would have predicted the outage
2. Add these indicators to the monitoring system, alerting as needed
3. Repeat. We want alerts that prevent outages instead of alerts after a failure.
(p. 260) The secret to smooth, continuous flow is small, frequent changes that anyone can inspect and easily understand.
(p. 278) How to frame a hypothesis: “We believe (a change) will result in (a good thing). We will have confidence to proceed when (a measurement indicating link between change and good thing).” Examples:
- A change: Increasing the size of images on booking page
- A good thing: Improved customer engagement and conversion
- A measurement: A 5% increase of customers who view images who book within 2 days
(p. 285) The poorness of outcomes is proportional to the distance between the person doing the work and the person deciding to do the work.
(p. 295) Essential elements in a pull request:
- Detail why the change is made
- Detail how the change is made
- Identify risks
  - Identify countermeasures
- Mention someone appropriate to review the change
(p. 308) Organizational learning requires engineers who made an error to be enthusiastic in helping the others avoid the same error in the future.
(p. 309) How to conduct a blameless postmortem
(p. 310) ⭐ Instead of feeling bad about a mistake, ask: “Why did it make sense to me when I took that action?”
(p. 317) A service is not really tested until we break it in production.
(p. 320) ⭐ ⭐ The only sustainable competitive advantage is an organization’s ability to learn faster than the competition.
(p. 339) The most valuable thing any associate can do is mentor or learn from other associates. We are all lifelong learners who learn best from our peers.
(p. 380) A key goal of DevOps practices is to streamline our “normal change” process so that it is also suitable for emergency changes.
(p. 416) Human error is the effect of systemic vulnerabilities deeper inside the organization. Don’t blame the human; thank the human for highlighting your vulnerabilities.

#13: Continuous Delivery

(p. xxiii) Cycle time is the time from deciding that you need to make a change to having it in production. It is a vital metric for any project.
(p. 24) In software, when something is painful, the way to reduce the pain is to do it more frequently, not less.
(p. 28) The Deming cycle is useful when holding retrospectives on the delivery process:
1. plan
2. do
3. study/check
4. act
(p. 40) “Ultimate configurability” is a common antipattern. The more configurability you intend to offer users, the fewer constraints you can place on the system config, thus the more sophisticated the env needs to become.
(p. 50) Lock down production. It should not be possible for anyone to make a change to prod without going through the organization’s change management process, because even a tiny change could break production completely.
(p. 73) Failing on build warning is good practice.
(p. 75) Having personal contact with members from other groups of a distributed team is important because it builds trust. Trust is the first thing to suffer in a distributed team.
(p. 87) We tend to limit Automated Acceptance Testing to complete coverage of “happy paths” behaviors, and limited coverage of the most important other parts.
(p. 93) Have stories that follow the INVEST principles:
- Independent
- Negotiable
- Valuable
- Estimable
- Small
- Testable
(p. 139) Metrics useful for diagnostics of the deployment pipeline to warn of problems (these are secondary to cycle time)
- Automated test coverage
- Properties of the codebase
  - duplication
  - cyclomatic complexity
  - efferent and afferent coupling
  - style
- Number of defects
- Velocity of team to deliver working, tested, ready to use code
- Number of commits to version control per day
- Number of builds per day
- Number of build failures per day
- Duration of build, including automated tests
(p. 228) What many people often mean when they say “I want the application to respond in 2 seconds” is “I don’t want to sit in front of a computer without any feedback for too long.”

#14: Remote Team Interactions

(p 1) Google’s five keys to successful teams:
1. Psychological safety: can teams take risks without feeling insecure?
2. Dependability: Can teams count on one another?
3. Structure and clarity: Clear goals, rules and execution plans
4. Meaning of work: Is the work important to the team?
5. Impact of work: Does the team believe their work matters?
(p. 5) Instead of spending time waiting on other teams to finish their work, focus on tracking then removing dependencies between teams.
(p. 6) Don’t make it hard for people to discover meaning in written communications. Make messages self-contained to help reduce cognitive load.
(p. 34) Make it easy for people to self-serve, e.g. by having channel names that make it obvious where to get support (#support-...). Every time someone self-serves, someone’s time is saved.
(p. 43) The problem with the organizational chart is that for a lot of knowledge work, we cannot have communication only happening up and down the different branches. Don’t build communication channels around your org chart!
(p. 57) Use a net promoter score (NPS) to gauge how well the platform is perceived by internal customers.

#15: The Unicorn Project

(p. 0) “Let that be a warning to you that compliance is not just a moral obligation, or a set of contractual obligations… it’s also the law.”
(p. 0) Code deployment lead time, code deployment frequency and the time to resolve problems predict software delivery, operational performance and organizational performance, which correlate with burnout and employee engagement.
(p. 0) The opposite of “improvement of daily work” (the 3rd ideal) is someone who values process compliance and “the way we’ve always done it.”
(p. 0) Researchers at Google found that psychological safety was one of the most important factors of great teams.
(p. 0) Commit to doing what it takes to make tomorrow better than today.
(p. 0) This is not a story about small beating large; it’s fast beats slow.
(p. 0) Hoare principle: There are two ways to write code:
1. Write code so simple there are obviously no bugs in it
2. Write code so complex there are no obvious bugs in it
(p. 0) If your organization is not growing, it is slowly dying.
(p. 0) ⭐ The most valuable thing you can do is mentor or learn from your peers. Learning is for everyone and it is from there that we will create competitive advantage.
(p. 0) Adult learners often hide the fact that they’re trying to acquire a new skill. It usually comes from embarrassment or being afraid of being seen doing something they’re not good at.
(p. 0) The Five Ideals:
1. Locality and Simplicity
2. Focus, Flow and Joy
3. Improvement of Daily Work
4. Psychological Safety
5. Customer Focus

#16: Making Work Visible

(p. 1) The five thieves of time:
- Too much work in progress (WIP)
- Unknown dependencies (something you didn’t know needs to happen before you finish)
- Unplanned work (interruptions at the worst moment)
- Conflicting priorities (tasks that compete with each other)
- Neglected work (partially completed work)
(p. 9) It can take up to 20 minutes to get back to a previous thinking spot after an interruption.
(p. 10) The WIP limit is what allows you to say “No, there is no capacity to take on more work right now.”
(p. 10) Reducing WIP is liberating (not limiting!) The right amount of WIP allows us to maintain a healthy amount of work.
(p. 90) It doesn’t matter how big or small something is when you can only truly focus on one thing at a time.
(p. 102) The tasks in the backlog are options, they may never get done. But once work passes the line of commitment (i.e. the ticket is moved to the board), that explicitly signals it has been prioritized and is moving forward. By that logic, items in the board should never go back to the backlog.
(p. 109) To make neglected work obvious, flag work items that haven’t moved or been updated within a certain number of days.
(p. 134) The more WIP there is in the pipeline, the longer things take.
(p. 144) Generate a Time Thief ‘O Gram by tagging your tickets if they have one of these thieves:
- unplanned work
- unknown dependencies
- conflicting priorities
- neglected work

Bonus video summary: I exceptionally made a video summary where I attempt to explain my favorite passages from the book, you may watch it here .

#17: Project to Product

(p. 40) Investments made in areas other than the bottleneck are futile.
(p. 49) In the codebase, every change to every line of code should have traceability back to its originating feature or defect. Adding traceability after the fact is difficult and error prone.
(p. 61) IT feels like a black box in many organizations due to the mismatch of the data models that IT vs the business use to operate.
(p. 61) Watermelon projects: When engineering leads are asked by project managers if they are on track, the answer is “yes” because the question is ambiguous. Projects looked green from the outside, but were red inside, like a watermelon.
(p. 75) It is impossible for the business to have a shared understanding of a bottleneck without having a shared understanding of productivity.
(p. 78) The four types of flow items:
- Features
- Defects
- Risks
- Debts
(p. 80) The Value Stream Network itself needs to be treated as a product, with its own stable delivery team, and not as a project with a defined end.
(p. 97) The five flow metrics:
- Flow Distribution
- Flow Velocity
- Flow Time (includes both active and wait time)
- Flow Load
- Flow Efficiency
(p. 97) The zero-sum game of flow distribution trade-offs forces the business to make the kinds of trade-offs that the development team lead has to make constantly as unplanned work enters the value stream.
(p. 101) Flow value metrics are more suited to track productivity and delivery trends within a value stream than across value streams.
(p. 104) While separating flow time from lead time is important for products with large backlogs of customer requests, for products with smaller backlogs the two metrics will be more closely converged.
(p. 107) Flow load is the leading indicator of the point at which taking on too many flow items in parallel reduces output.
(p. 114) Business result metrics:
- Value: Benefit to the business provided by the value stream
- Cost: Cost of the value stream to the business
- Quality: Product quality produced by value stream as perceived by customer
- Happiness: Engagement of the staff working on the value stream.
(p. 122) The goal of the Flow Framework is to ensure that there is at least one metric supporting each of the business results and that each metric is tracked across the org for each value stream.
(p. 159) Software productivity declines as software scales, due to disconnects between the architecture and the value stream. This is the force DevOps fights against.
(p. 161) ⭐ Disconnected software value streams are the bottlenecks to softweare productivity at scale. The disconnects are caused by the misapplication of the project-management model.
(p. 183) The structure of value streams is much more similar to an airline network than a manufacturing line. The airline network is a better metaphor.
(p. 184) In network management, bottlenecks are constraints that you simply reroute around. The flow does not need to stop as it does in a linear process. This is what makes them harder to catch.
(p. 190) As long as a developer tool like Jira is not connected to a service-desk tool like ServiceNow, the corresponding lack of flow and feedback between those two silos creates an information bottleneck. This is where the connectivity index comes into play, it’s a measure of the degree to which information can flow end to end across value streams.
(p. 197) Different value streams may have different tolerances for flow load.
(p. 215) The Flow Framework is a framework for managing softeare delivery that is focused on measuring and optimizing the flow of business value through product-oriented software value streams that are correlated to business results.

#18: Building Successful Communities of Practice

(p. 9) Communities of practice give people opportunities to experiment with what they have learned, in a safe environment and with the support of other people.
(p. 11) Silos can form where a group of people feel a deeper loyalty to each other than to other groups of people. Communication between silos can be very difficult, causing duplication of work and frustration for those inside them.
(p. 14) An organization that doesn’t support the sharing of tacit knowledge will lose most of their knowledge as people move on.
(p. 15) A study by Oswald, Proto and Sgroi showed that happiness made people 12% more productive.
(p. 18) Through social learning, community members get better together and raise the skill level of everyone in the community. The community increases the happiness of its members by fostering positive relations with others and a feeling of acceptance.
(p. 19) The input needed from leadership when building the community is inversely proportional to the community’s energy level and visibility.
(p. 19) The 5 stages of a community of practice:
1. Potential
2. Forming
3. Maturing
4. Self-sustaining
5. Transformation
(p. 22) Your community will have the best chance of building trust between its members if people have the chance to be physically in the same place and are able to meet face-to-face.
(p. 41) Even if attendance is low, carry on with the meeting. As others see benefits, they will join.
(p. 51) Make your social events inclusive and remember that different members have different needs and commitments to consider. For example, evening events will be fine for some people and not for others.
(p. 52) Types of learning activities:
- Presentation and talks
- Deliberate practice (mimicking experential learning in a safe environment)
- Games and workshops
- Visits and tours to places within your organization or places that share similar challenges
(p. 53) Make sure you create time for the community to have less structured meetings where people can discuss things that are on their mind and being their problems to the community’s safe space.
(p. 56) To ensure members continue to get value from the community, put aside regular time to review how the community is working together and how it could improve.
(p. 60) The 5-stage model of adult skill acquisition:
1. Novice: follows the rules
2. Advanced beginner: recognizes patterns
3. Competent: chooses a perspective
4. Proficient: responds to situations
5. Expert: writes their own rules
(p. 60) Shu-ha-ri stages in martial arts:
1. Shu: The protection stage, where the student follows what the master teaches them
2. Ha: The breakaway stage, where the student starts to learn the underlying principles and theory behind a technique and begins to integrate learning into their practices
3. Ri: The creating stage, where the student creates their own approaches and adapts what they have learned to their own particular circumstances
(p. 64) Types of members in a community of practice:
- Core: without these members, there is no community
- Active: people you expect to see regularly. They have potential to become core members.
- Occasional: they show up from time to time. Spend time with these members to understand the barriers to becoming an active member.
- Peripheral: they rarely come to community activities and are very passive. They may also be new joiners, or past members who opted out. Always leave room for them to become more active members in the future.
- Outside: e.g. sponsors, supporters, members of other communities, etc. It might never be relevant for them to be anything more, but you should think about how to communicate with them.

#19: Accelerate

(p. 5) The 2017 Forrester report states “DevOps is accelerating technology, but organizations often overestimate their progress, and executives are especially prone to overestimating their progress compared to those actually doing the work.”
(p. 13) Don’t reward busywork that doesn’t actually achieve organizational goals
(p. 14) The “fuzzy front end” is the nickname for the design part of the lead time. It’s often unclear when to start the clock, and there is high variability.
(p. 30) The organizational culture predicts the way information flows through an organization.
(p. 31) The characteristics of “good information”:
- It provides answers to the questions that the receiver needs answered
- It is timely (arrives at the right time)
- It is presented in a way that can be used by the receiver
(p. 36) A good culture requires trust and cooperation between people cross the organization, so it reflects the level of collaboration and trust inside the organization.
(p. 39) The way to change culture is not to first change how people think, but instead to start by changing how people behave (what they do)
(p. 42) A key goal of continuous delivery is changing the economics of the software delivery process so the cost of pushing out individual changes is very low.
(p. 47) We create an environment where developers accept responsibility for global outcomes (e.g. quality and stability) by:
- giving devs tools to detect problems when they occur
- giving devs the time and resources to invest in their own development
- giving devs the authority to fix problems straight away

#20: Radical Candor

(p. xxviii) Relationships may not scale (Dunbar’s number), but culture does.
(p. 24) The problem with living at the top of a hill is that you always have to walk uphill just to get back home.
(p. 90) While ideas can ultimately be very powerful, they begin as fragile, barely formed thoughts easily missed, compromised and squished. It’s tempting to shut these down (“I don’t have time right now!"), but taking the time to clarify the ideas will save time in the long run.
(p. 92) Plussing: A technique, where rather than saying ‘No, that’s a bad idea’, people must offer a solution to the problem they see in an idea. This technique is used at Pixar.
(p. 132) To get over the awkwardness of asking your direct reports what they think of your performance, have a go-to question, e.g. “What could I do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?”
(p. 134) You may disagree with criticism, if you:
1. First, find something in the criticism you can agree with to signal you’re open to criticism.
2. Then, make sure you understand what they mean by repeating.
3. Then, let them know what you think about what they said and schedule time to talk about it again.
(p. 152) Listen, challenge, commit. A strong leader has the humility to listen, the confidence to challenge, and the wisdom to know when to quit arguing and to get on board.
(p. 212) The only people required to participate in big debate should be those you identified in your staff meeting. But anyone should be able to attend/observe the big debate meeting. The debate “owner” appoints somebody to take notes and send them out to all relevant parties.

#21: How to Win Friends & Influence People

(p. 81) “I had listened intently. I had listened because I was genuinely interested. And he felt it. Naturally that pleased him. That kind of listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.”
(p. 110) There is only one way to get the best of an argument and that is to avoid it.
(p. 111) A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
(p. 112) Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory, or a person’s good will? You can seldom have both.
(p. 114) You can measure the size of a person by what makes them angry.
(p. 130) There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.
(p. 133) Let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.
(p. 161) If you say to yourself, “How would I feel/react if I were in their shoes?”, you will save yourself time and irritation, for by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect.

#22: Shape Up

(p. 14)The idea of Shape Up is to focus less on estimates and more on our appetite.
- ❌ “How much time will it take?”
- ✅ “How much time do we want to spend?”
- ✅ “How much is this idea worth?”
(p. 15) Shaping: Narrowing down the problem and designing the outline of a solution that fits within the constraints of our appetite
(p. 25) Shaped work indicates what not to do, where to stop. It calls out any specific cases not supported. It creates boundaries that act like guard rails.
(p. 26) To be a shaper, you don’t need to be a programmer, but you need to be technically literate. You should be able to judge:
- what’s possible
- what’s easy
- what’s hard
(p. 26) Shaping is a closed-door, creative process, a kind of private, rough early work. The work on the shaping track is kept private and not shared with the wider team until the commitment has been made to bet on it.
(p. 26) During the six weeks cycle, teams are building work that’s been previously shaped, while shapers are working on what the teams might potentially build in a future cycle.
(p. 27) Steps to shaping:
1. Set boundaries (what is our appetite?).
2. Create an idea that solves the problem within the appetite, but without all the fine details worked out.
3. Address risks and rabbit holes.
4. Write the pitch that will be reviewed at the betting table.
(p. 29)
- Estimates start be a design and end with a number.
- Appetites start with a number and end with a design. The appetite acts as a creative constraint on the design process.
(p. 30) There is no absolute definition of “the best” solution. The best is relative to your constraints.
(p. 32) Finding the real problem to solve: At what point specifically does someone’s current workflow break down without this thing they’re asking for?
- “Instead of asking her why she wants a calendar and what it should look like, we asked her when she wanted a calendar. What was she doing when the thought occurred to ask for it?”
(p. 37) When breadboarding, what matters are the components and their connections (not pictures) to judge if the sequence of actions solves the use case:
(p. 41) Use fat marker sketches when the 2D arrangement of elements is the fundamental problem. Make such broad strokes that adding detail is difficult/impossible.
- Large Sharpies on a sheet of paper
- iPad drawing with the largest diameter pen size
(p. 46) The output of breadboarding and fat marker sketches are not specs. They are the boundaries and rules of a game.
(p. 47) At the shaping stage, we could walk away from the project. We haven’t bet on it.
(p. 55) ⭐ When discussing with technical experts, instead of asking, “Is it possible to do X?” ask “Is X possible in 6 weeks?” and emphasize you’re looking for risks that could blow up the project.
(p. 55) Rather than writing up a document or creating a slideshow, invite experts to a whiteboard and redraw the elements s you worked them out earlier, building up the concept from the beginning.
(p. 58-60, 64) Five ingredients to always include in a pitch:
- The problem: Why the status quo doesn’t work.
  - This gives you something to test against.
- An appetite: How much time we want to spend and how much that constrains the solution.
  - There’s always a better solution.
- A solution: The core elements we came up with presented in a form that’s easy to immediately understand.
  - Fat marker sketches can be very effective if labeled cleanly.
- Rabbit holes
- No-gos: Anything specifically excluded from the concept to fit the appetite.
(p. 67) For presenting a pitch, use asynchronous communication by default and escalate to real-time only when necessary. Pitches could be tracked as Jira tickets or messages on Slack.
(p. People comment on the pitches asynchronously. Not to say yes or no (that happens at the betting table) but to poke holes or contribute missing information.
(p. 72) Pitches don’t go in a backlog! Before each six weeks cycle, the betting table looks at pitches from the last six weeks, including pitches that somebody purposefully revived and lobbied for again. This removes grooming.
(p. 73) If we don’t bet on a pitch, we let it go. There’s nothing we need to track or hold on to.
(p. 76) After each six week cycle, we schedule two weeks for cool-down. This is a period with no scheduled work where we can breathe, meet as needed, and consider what to do next.
- Programmers and designers use this time to fix bugs, explore new ideas, try out new technical possibilities.
(p. 77) The betting table is a meeting held during cool-down where stakeholders decide what to do in the next cycle.
(p. 77) At Basecamp, the betting table consists of:
- CEO (they are the last word on the product)
- CTO
- A senior programmer
- A product strategist
  - Buy-in from the very top makes cycles turn properly.
(p. 78) The betting table rarely lasts longer than an hour or two. It requires everyone to have had a chance to study the pitches on their own time beforehand.
(p. 78) The betting table gives the C-suite a “hands on the wheel” feeling.
(p. 78) We talk about “betting” instead of planning because it sets different expectations.
(p. 79) When you make a bet, you honor it. Don’t allow the team to be interrupted or pulled away to do other things.
(p. 82) The vast majority of bugs can wait six weeks or longer and many don’t even need to be fixed.
(p. 82) If a bug is too big to fix during a cool-down, it can compete for resources at the betting table.
(p. 82) Schedule a bug smash once a year, usually around holidays, where a whole cycle is dedicated to fixing bugs.
- The holidays are a good time because it’s hard to get a normal project done when people aren’t around.
(p. 90) Questions to ask at the betting table:
- Does the problem matter?
- Is the appetite right?
- Is the solution attractive?
  - The betting table shouldn’t be used for doing the design
- Is this the right time?
- Are the right people available?
(p. 93) After the bets are made, someone from the betting table will write a message that tells everyone which projects we’re betting on for the next cycle and who will be working on them.
(p. 96) There is no designated “task master” or “architect” who splits the project into pieces. Trust the team to take on the entire project and work within the boundaries of the pitch.
(p. 98) All testing and QA needs to happen within the cycle.
(p. 98) We don’t expect these things to happen within the cycle, we can do them during a cool-down:
- help documentation
- marketing updates
- announcements to customers
(p. 99) When the cycle begins, arrange a kick-off call to walk through the shaped work. This gives the team a chance to ask any important questions that aren’t clear from the write-up.
(p. 100) In the first few days of the cycle, expect radio silence. Everyone is busy learning the existing system and getting oriented. Only if the radio silence doesn’t start to break after three days, then step in to see what’s going on.
(p. 101)
- Imagined tasks are tasks we think we need to do at the start of a project
- Discovered tasks are tasks we discover we need to do in the course of doing real work. These make the true bulk of the project and sometimes present the hardest challenges.
(p. 102) The way to really figure out what needs to be done is to start doing real work.
(p. 103) Teams should aim to make something tangible and demoable early (in the first week or so)
(p. 110) First make it work, then make it beautiful.
(p. 111) When you are early in the cycle, don’t slow down to implement something that won’t teach you anything about the problem you’re trying to solve (e.g. colors, handling data securely, etc.)
(p. 116) The scopes reflect the meaningful parts of the problem that can be completed independently and in a short period of time (few days or less). In practice, we define and track scopes as to-do lists.
- More tasks will be discovered as work continues.
(p. 122) Scoping isn’t planning. You need to walk the territory before you can draw the map, like in Starcraft.
(p. 123) The scopes act like buckets that you can easily lob new tasks into.
(p. 123) Three signs that indicate the scopes should be redrawn:
- It’s hard to say how “done” a scope is. This happens when the tasks inside the scope are unrelated.
- The scope name isn’t unique to the project, like “front-end” or “bugs”. These are grab bags, or junk drawers.
- It’s too big to finish soon. Better break it up into pieces that can be solved in less time, so there are victories along the way and boundaries between the problems to solve.
(p. 125) Icebergs are when there is significantly more backend work than frontend work, or vice versa. For icebergs, it can help to factor out the UI as a separate scope of work.
- Always question icebergs before accepting them as a fact.
(p. 126) Do scope hammering by prefixing your nice-to-haves with “~” in the task list.
(p. 127) Managers can’t rely on the to-do list status because it will grow as the team makes progress.
(p. 133) The hill chart shows how the work on each scope feels at different stages for each scope. For managers, it shows how the work is moving. It removes the need to interrupt the team with status update questions.
(p. 136) When a point on a hill chart doesn’t move, it is effectively a raised hand: “Something might be wrong here. What can we solve to get over that hill?”
(p. 139) Backsliding on the hill chart often means somebody did the uphill work with their head instead of their hands.
(p. 142) Shipping on time means shipping something imperfect.
- “Okay, this isn’t perfect, but it definitely works and customers will feel like this is a big improvement for them.”
(p. 145) Cutting scope isn’t lowering quality. Making choices makes the product better. It differentiates the product.
(p. 146) Nice-to-haves ("~") can linger on a scope after it’s considered done. The scope isn’t considered done until must-have tasks are finished.
(p. 148) QA generates “discovered tasks” that are all nice-to-haves ("~") by default.
(p. 148) When to extend a project instead of letting the circuit breaker do its thing:
- The outstanding tasks are true must-haves
- The outstanding work must be downhill
  - Any uphill work at the end of the cycle shows an oversight in the shaping, or a hole in the concept.
(p. 151) The raw ideas that just came in from customer feedback aren’t actionable yet. They too need to be shaped.
(p. 169) How to begin doing Shape Up: A six-week experiment:
1. Shape one significant project that can be comfortably finished within 6 weeks. Be conservative on your first run.
2. Carve out one designer and two programmers’ time for the entire 6 weeks. Guarantee that nobody will interrupt them for the length of the experiment.
3. Replace the real betting table with just the plan for the team to do the work you shaped for the experiment.
4. Kick off by presenting your shaped work to the team, with all the ingredients of a pitch. Set the expectation that they will discover and track their own tasks.
5. Dedicate a physical space or chat room to the cross-functional team so they can work closely together.
6. Encourage them to Get One Piece Done by wiring UI and code together early in the project.
(p. ?)
(p. 168)
Glossary

#23: Psycho-Cybernetics

(p. 37) Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience.

#24: Influence

(p. 252) Individuals holding a weak or unpopular position can get us to agree with that position by arranging to have their message restricted. The most effective strategy may not be to publicize their unpopular views, but to get those views officially censored and then publicize the censorship.

#25: Sooner Safer Happier

(p. 89) The level of consciousness of an organization cannot exceed the level of consciousness of its leader.
(p. 159) Servant leadership: “Thank you for flagging a possible issue or improvement. How may I help you, dear team member?”

#26: Start With Why

(p. 48) The concept of “better” begs the question: based on what standard? Is a Ferrari F430 ports car better than a Honda Odyssey minivan? It depends on why you need the car.

#28: The Hard Thing About Hard Things

(p. 110) Being too busy to train is the equivalent of being to hungry to eat.

#29: Execution

(p. 25) Only the leader can set the tone of the dialogue in the organization. Dialogue is the core of culture and the basic unit of work. How people talk to each other absolutely determines how well the organization will function.

#30: The Fearless Organization

(p. 20) A survey on psychological safety to measure it at your organization (note: questions with (R) are reversed, meaning disagreement on those equals higher psychological safety) (note 2: score these on a 5 or 7 point Likert scale)
1. If you make a mistake on this team, it is often held against you. (R)
2. Members of this team are able to bring up problems and tough issues.
3. People on this team reject others for being different. (R)
4. It is safe to take a risk on this team.
5. It is difficult to ask other members of this team for help. (R)
6. No one on this team would deliberately act in a way that undermines my efforts.
7. Working with members of this team, my unique skills and talents are valued and utilized.
(p. 22) Making the environment safe for open communication about challenges, concerns and opportunities is one of the most important leadership responsibilities in the 21st century.
(p. 25) Your greatest fear as a CEO is that people aren’t telling you the truth.
(p. 45) The failure of an employee to speak up in a crucial moment cannot be seen. Because not offering an idea is an invisible act, it’s hard to engage in real-time course correction. This means that psychologically safe workplaces have a powerful advantage in competitive industries.
(p. 138) Speaking up is easier said than done.
(p. 189) Substituting candor for silence and engagement for fear are essential responsibilities for leaders today.
(p. 194) Mistakes themselves are not a bad thing. The question is, do you learn from those mistakes?

#31: Mastery

(p. 16) Everything that happens to you is a form of inhstruction if you pay attention.
(p. 25) Just as a well-filled day brings blessed sleep, so a well-employed life brings a blessed death.
(p. 38) Realize as early as possible that you have chosen your career for the wrong reasons, before your confidence takes a hit.
(p. 45) Do not envy those who seem to be naturally gifted; it is often a curse, as such types rarely learn the value of diligence and focus, and they pay for this later in life.
(p. 57) Procedural and political rules may be dysfunctional or counterproductive, but your job is not to moralize about this or complain. Understand them to get a complete lay of the land, like studying an alien culture. You are not there to change that culture; you will only end up being killed (fired). Later, when you have attained power and mastery, you will be the one to rewrite or destroy these same rules.
(p. 59) Tacit knowledge is a felling for what you are doing that is hard to put into words but easy to demonstrate in action.
(p. 60) The initial stages of learning a skill inevitably involve tedium. You must accept it and embrace it. Much as with physical exercise, you can even get a kind of perverse pleasure out of this pain, knowing the benefits it will bring you.
(p. 62) When you develop patience, boredom no longer signals the need for distraction, but rather the need for new challenges to conquer.
(p. 63) The future in science does not lie in increased specialization, but rather in the combining and cross-fertilization of knowledge in various fields. The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.
(p. 77) The only real impediment to mastering a skill is yourself and your emotions – boredom, panic, frustration, insecurity. You cannot suppress such emotions. They are normal to the process and experienced by everyone, including Masters. What you can do is have faith in the process.
(p. 84) It is a curse to have everything go right on your first attempt. You will fail to question the element of luck, making you think you have the golden touch. When you do inevitably fail, it will confuse and demoralize you past the point of learning.
(p. 103) Mentors do not give you a shortcut, but they streamline the process. They can direct you away from unnecessary side paths or errors. Their advice is tailored to your circumstances and your needs.
(p. 106) The best mentors are often those who have wide knowledge and experience, and are not overly specialized in their field – they can train you to think on a higher level, and to make connections between different forms of knowledge.
(p. 107) Books can serve as temporary mentors. You will want to convert such books and writers into living mentors by:
- personalizing their voice,
- interacting with the material,
- taking notes or writing in the margins
(p. 115) The problem with all students is that they inevitably stop somewhere. They hear an idea and they hold on to it until it becomes dead; they want to flatter themeslves that they know the truth.
(p. 125) Social intelligence is the ability to see people in the most realistic light possible. Success attained without this intelligence is not true mastery, and will not last.
(p. 134) To become indignant at people’s conduct is as foolish as to be angry with a stone because it rolls into your path. With many people the wisest thing you can do is to resolve to make use of those whom you cannot alter.
(p. 135) People who retain their childish attitudes will rarely be able to hold on to the success they may achieve through their talent.
(p. 137) The most effective attitude to adopt is one of supreme acceptance.
(p. 137) Some people have dark qualities that are especially pronounced. You cannot change such people at their core, but must merely avoid becoming their victim. You are an observer of the human comedy, and by being as tolerant as possible, you gain a much greater ability to understand people and to influence their behavior when necessary.
(p. 138) You need to train yourself to pay less attention to the words that people say and greater attention to their tone of voice, the look in their eye, their body language. These are all signals that might reveal a nervousness or excitement that is not expressed verbally. You will pick up cues from them that will register with you as feelings or sensations. Trust these sensations. Later, you can try to find a pattern to these signals and attempt to analyze what they mean.
(p. 143) People follow procedures without really knowing why, simply because these procedures may have worked in the past. These people become highly defensive if their ways are brought into question.
(p. 144) If you are doing work for a superior, be prepared for them to take full credit and leave your name our, but do not let this happen with colleagues.
(p. 145) The root cause of all passive aggressiveness is that human fear of direct confrontation.
(p. 159) Suffer fools gladly.
(p. 163) In the end, he came to welcome the attacks of his enemies for how much they had improved his work and toughened him up.
(p. 164) Avoid the madness of trying to change fools. It is all part of the human comedy, and it is nothing to get upset or lose sleep over. The height of wisdom is to actually exploit their foolishness – using them for material for your work, as examples of things to avoid, or by looking for ways to turn their actions to your advantage.
(p. 181) You must let go of your need for comfort and security. Creative endeavors are by their nature uncertain.
(p. 185) Chance only favors the prepared mind.
(p. 231) Whenever your work begins to feel stale, you must return to the larger purpose and goal that impelled you in the first place.
(p. 245) Those who think in dualities – believing that there is such a thing as “real” and “unreal”, and that those are distinct entities that can never become blended into a third – are creatively limited, and their work can quickly become dead and predictable. To maintain a dualistic approach to life requires that we repress many observable truths.
(p. 245) Contradictions contain a rich mine of information about a reality that is deeper and more complex than the one immediately perceived.
(p. 261) No moment is wasted if you pay attention and learn the lessons contained in every experience.
(p. 310) It is in fact the height of selfishness to merely consume what others create and to retreat into a shell of limited goals and immediate pleasures.

#33: Unlearn

(p. 19) Clarifying your why and your what is the first step in the Cycle of Unlearning. It requires to accept that your own beliefs, mindsets or behaviors are limiting your potential and current performance and that you must consciously move away from them. This allows you to be open to new approaches and get unstuck.
(p. 21) Leaders believe they simply need to tell people to think differently, and they will act differently. For example, “What we really need is to change the mindset here.” This is a fallacy that must, in fact, be unlearned. The way to think differently is to act differently.
(p. 22) Unlearning is not an event. Is it ongoing and continuous, a habit and deliberate practice in itself.
(p. 27) Move from a “know it all” to an “unlearn it all”.
(p. 35) Nothing pleases people more than to go on thinking what they have always thought, and at the same time imagine that they are thinking something new and daring. It combines the advantage of security with the delight of adventure.
(p. 46) The problem with transformation is never a lack of ideas; it’s a lack of a change in behavior.
(p. 49) “Half of the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.”
(p. 51) The first step in the Cycle of Unlearning is identifying what we want to work on to unlearn, and then deliberately practicing to relearn it.
(p. 55) Example of an unlearning statement:
- I will unlearn decision making in 3 months.
- I know I have unlearned when:
  - 100% of my decisions are safe to fail
  - 100% of my direction is what is to be achieved with context of why it matters
  - 0% of my direction is how to achieve it, the accountable individuals will decide
  - 0% of teams I lead demonstrate learned helplessness for their decision-making responsibilities.
(p. 63) The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.
(p. 84) We love being busy. In fact, we celebrate and subtly enjoy telling our colleagues, collaborators, and competitors how busy we are. The question we don’t consider is: What is the result of all this busyness? All this motion is mistaken for progress, but it’s not, like hamsters in their wheels.
(p. 95) Great leaders get better answers because they ask better questions. They ask them in ways that increases the rate at which they unlearn, relearn and break through.
(p. 102) One person can’t know all that each member of his or her team knows.
(p. 103) Knowledge workers can’t (and shouldn’t) be supervised or managed in the same way that workers in factories used to be. To make the right decision the knowledge worker must know what performance and results are needed. He or she cannot be supervised. They must direct, manage and motivate themself, and they will not do that unless they can see how their knowledge and work contribute to the whole business.
(p. 103) While it may seem counterintuitive, the breakthrough that every manager needs to discover and practice is that you become a better and more effective leader when you let go, relinquish control, and empower the people you lead to take control and make their own decisions.
(p. 105) A favorable situation will never be exploited if commanders wait for orders. The highest commander and the youngest soldier must be conscious of the fact that omission and inactivity are worse than resorting to the wrong expedient.
(p. 116) The management innovation to unlearn is to stop making decisions and let other people make decisions. First-line employees can be more than cogs in a soulless manufacturing machine; they can be problem solvers, innovators and change agents.
(p. 122) The reason many companies are slow and languid is because employees aren’t allowed to make decisions.
(p. 127) As a leader, respond to negative outcomes and critical feedback as an opportunity to improve the system (instead of as an excuse to blame the individual).
(p. 135) “Thanks for your feedback. We are going to fix that. That’s not the way we want our products and services to be delivered, and that’s not the way we want out customers to be treated. You’re helping us build a better product, so thank you again.”
(p. 147) Waiting for failure events to prompt action is the definition of failure to unlearn and innovate your organization’s system of learning.
(p. 151) ⭐ Remind leaders that scaling yourself does not work; scaling your lessons learned does.
(p. 151) Having a safe space for team members to share mistakes and be vulnerable in front of one another is the number-one indicator of high-performance teams.
(p. 167) ⭐ You get what you reward for.
(p. 204) ⭐ To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day.
(p. 205) Unlearning is not forgetting, removing or discarding knowledge or experience; it’s the conscious act of letting go of outdated information and actively engaging in taking in new information to inform effective decision making and action.

#34: Building Secure & Reliable Systems

(p. 62) Expecting perfection is an unrealistic assumption. Hope is not a strategy.
(p. 92) Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
(p. 144) Resilience is closely tied to recovery, but while recovery focuses on the ability to fix systems after they break, resilience is about designing systems that delay or withstand breakage.
(p. 309) Automation is a win-win, reducing toil while simultaneously increasing reliability and security. Rely on automation whenever possible.

#35: The Fifth Discipline

(p. 4) The ability to learn faster than your competitors may be the only sustainable competitive advantage.
(p. 10) Team learning is vital because teams, not individuals, are the fundamental learning unit in modern organizations. Unless teams can learn, the organization cannot learn.
(p. 22) Today, the primary threats to our survival, both of our organizations and of our societies, come not from sudden events but from slow, gradual processes.
(p. 75) In systems thinking, it is an axiom that every influence is both cause and effect. Nothing is ever influenced in just one direction.
(p. 78) At a deep level, there is no difference between blame and guilt, for both spring from linear perceptions.
(p. 94) Structures of which we are unaware holds us prisoner.
(p. 141) “Personal mastery” is the discipline of personal growth and learning. People with high levels of personal mastery are continually expanding their ability to create the results in life they truly seek. From their quest for continual learning comes the spirit of the learning organization.
(p. 185) All we ever have are assumptions, never “truths”. We always see the world through our mental models, which are always incomplete and, especially in western culture, chronically nonsystemic.
(p. 225) Fear can produce extraordinary changes in short periods, but aspiration endures as a continuing source of learning and growth.
(p. 226) The hallmark of a great organization is “how quickly bad news travel upward.”
(p. ?) Culture are the assumptions we cannot see.
(p. ?) Human beings are born with intrinsic motivation, and joy in learning.
(p. ?) When one human being tells (explicitly or even only in their own mind) what is real to another human (e.g. “Don’t you see what’s really going on here?"), what they’re actually doing is making a demand for obedience.
(p. ?) On one among humanity sees reality as it is and we cannot, because we are living systems, not recording devices.
(p. 241) The purpose of dialogue is to reveal the incoherence in our thought.
(p. 242) It is our thoughts and the way we hold on to them that are in conflict, not us.
(p. 245) The real power of seeing each other as colleagues comes into play when there are differences of view. Choosing to view “adversaries” as “colleagues with different views” has the greatest benefits.
(p. 247) In a discussion, decisions are made. In a dialogue, complex issues are explored.
(p. 249) ⭐ One of the most reliable indicators of a team that is continually learning is the visible conflict of ideas. In great teams, conflict becomes productive.
(p. 266) Rather than seeing the defensiveness in terms of others' behavior, the leverage lies in recognizing defensive routines as joint creations and to find our own roles in creating and sustaining them.
(p. 273) A “political environment” is one in which “who” is more important than “what”.
(p. 288) In the traditional hierarchical organization, the top thinks and the local acts. In a learning organization, you have to merge thinking and acting in every individual.
(p. 288) The very important new role of senior managers in a locally controlled organization: responsibility for continually enhancing the organization’s capacity for learning.
(p. 290) Most executives of traditional organizations would give up anything than control.
(p. 299) Manager as researcher and designer is a new role:
- Understanding the organization as a system and understanding the internal and external forces driving change
- Designs the learning process whereby managers throughout the organization come to understand these trends and forces
(p. 300) Designing the organization’s learning processes is a unique role which cannot be delegated. It cannot be done by local managers because local managers are too involved running their businesses and because local managers generally have less breadth of perspective to see the major, long-term issues and forces that will shape how the business evolves.
(p. 301) ⭐ Learning organizations practice forgiveness because “making the mistake is punishment enough.”
(p. 305) Managers may need to soften or deflect the organization’s demands for incessant “busyness”. The way each of us and each of our close colleagues go about managing our time will say a good deal about our commitment to learning.
(p. 310) ⭐ “The more I understand the real skills of leadership in a learning organization, the more I become convinced that these are the skills of effective parenting.”
(p. 312) All the habits that an executive learns in an authoritarian organization are exactly the habits that make them unsuccessful parents.
(p. 316) Living behind all strategies are assumptions, which often remain implicit and untested.
(p. 333) Focusing on what’s easily measured leads to “looking good without being good.”
(p. 337) Organizational memory must depend on institutional mechanisms, rather than on individuals, or else you risk losing hard-won lessons and experiences as people migrate from one job to another.
(p. 340) At its heart, the traditional view of leadership is based on assumptions of people’s powerlessness, their lack of personal vision and inability to master the forces of change, deficits which can be remedied only be a few great leaders.
(p. 342) Designing policies and strategies that no one can implement because they don’t understand or agree with the thinking behind them has little effect.
(p. 343) The types of design questions that leaders must ponder:
- What disciplines should be developed first?
- How can understanding in one area lead to mastery in another?
- How can we sustain movement along all critical dimensions and not become self-satisfied with out accomplishments in one area?
(p. 345) The first rule of learning: People learn what they need to learn, not what someone else thinks they need to learn.
(p. 350) Think of an organization as a living organism.
(p. 351) The core challenge faced by the aspiring learning organization is to develop tools and processes for conceptualizing the big picture and testing ideas in practice. All in the organization must master the cycle of thinking, doing, evaluating, and reflecting. Without, there is no valid learning.
(p. 353) Leaders help people achieve a view of reality, such as the artist’s, as a medium for creating rather than as a source for limitation.
(p. 357) “I have met many leaders who have been destroyed by their vision.” This happens, almost always, because the leaders lose their capacity to see current reality. They collude in their and their organization’s desire to assuage uneasiness and avoid uncertainty by pretending everything is going fine. They become speech makers rather than leaders. They become “true believers” rather than learners.
(p. 359) Most of the outstanding leaders are neither tall nor especially handsome; they are often mediocre public speakers; they do not stand out in a crowd; they do not mesmerize an attending audience with their brilliance or eloquence. Rather, what distinguishes them is the clarity and persuasiveness of their ideas, the depth of their commitment, and their openness to continually learning more. They do not “have the answer.” But they do instill confidence in those around them that, together, we can learn whatever we need to learn in order to achieve the results we truly desire.
(p. 360) Ultimately, people follow people who believe in something and have the abilities to achieve results in the service of those beliefs. To put it another way, the natural leaders of learning organizations are the learners.

#37: Reinventing Organizations

(p. 49) In earlier stages, when we disagree with other people, we often meet them in judgement, believing that we must be right and they must be wrong. Or we can, in the name of tolerance (the Green ideal), gloss over our differences and affirm that all truths are equally valid. In Tail, we can transcend this polarity and integrate with the higher truth of non-judgement – we can examine our belief and find to be superior in truth and yet embrace the other as a human being of fundamentally equal value.
(p. 49) ⭐ We are rich not through the things we own, but through the relationships that nourish our soul.
(p. 67) The basis for decision-making is not consensus. For a solution to be adopted, it is enough that nobody has a principled objection. A person cannot veto a decision because she feels another solution (for example, hers!) would have been preferable.
(p. 77) Traditional pyramidal structures demand too much of too few and not enough of everyone else.
(p. 81) “My colleagues are honorable men and women, and they prove it every day by their actions in a workplace where they’re at liberty to run amok if they’re so inclined. They’re just not so inclined, that’s all. The exceptions are so rare that to clamp heavy restrictions on the whole work force just to try to control the actions of the potential bad apples would be a colossal self-sabotage.”
(p. 91) At FAVE, a simple but powerful relief valve exists, should a team leader find the taste of power too sweet: workers can choose at any moment to join another team. If a team leaders start to behave autocratically, people can simply walk away.
(p. 100) ⭐ The advice process: any person in the organization can make any decision, but before doing so, must seek advice from all affected parties and people with expertise on the matter.
(p. 108) People:
- Are creative, thoughtful, trustworthy adults, capable of making important decisions
- Are accountable and responsible for their decisions and actions
- Are fallible. We make mistakes, sometimes on purpose
- Are unique
- Want to use their collective talents and skills to make a positive contribution to the organization and the world.
(p. 110) We reap what we sow: fear breeds fear and trust breeds trust. Traditional hierarchies and their plethora of built-in control systems are, at their core, formidable machines that breed fear and distrust.
(p. 113) Two principles (basic social values) should inspire every management practice:
- Individuals should never use force against other people
- Individuals should honor their commitments
(p. 114) Freedom and responsibility are two sides of the same coin.
(p. 121) Total responsibility: all colleagues have the obligation to do something about an issue they sense, even when it falls outside the scope of their roles. It’s considered unacceptable to say, “Somebody should do something about this problem,” and leave it at that. With total responsibility, if you see a problem or an opportunity, you have an obligation to do something about it, and most often that “something” is to go and talk about it with the colleague whose role relates to the topic. In other words, “It’s not my problem” is not an acceptable attitude.
(p. 125) In Teal Organizations, performance and outcomes are discussed foremost at the team level: “Are we collectively doing a good job contributing to the organization’s purpose?”
(p. 146) Something special happens within the presence of dogs. Animals tend to ground us. The simple practice of petting a dog tends to soothe us, to reconnect us to our body, and to calm down our spinning minds. When it’s a colleague’s dog we pet, or a colleague that pets ours, we subtly build community.
(p. 165) At Heiligenfield, once a year colleagues in every team rate the quality of their interaction with other teams. The result is a company-wide “heat map” that reveals which teams should have a conversation to improve their collaboration.
(p. 166) Three-step process for difficult conversation:
1. Here is how I feel
2. Here is what I need.
3. What do you need?
(p. 175) A bad hire is someone who is a chronic complainer who is not happy, who blames others, who doesn’t take responsibility, who’s not honest, who doesn’t trust other people. A bad hire would be someone who needs specific direction and waits to be told what to do. A poor hire would be someone who wasn’t flexible and who says, “It’s not my job.”
(p. 197) ⭐ Profit is like the air we breathe. We need air to live, but we don’t live to breathe.
(p. 240) ⭐ ⭐ The level of consciousness of an organization cannot exceed the level of consciousness of its leader.
(p. 288) So much of what we call “management” consists in making it difficult for people to work.

#38: So Good They Can’t Ignore You

(p. 19) Working right trumps finding the right work.

#39: Thinking in Systems

(p. 22) We tend to focus on inflows more easily than outflows. Therefore, we sometimes miss seeing that we can fill a bathtub not only by increasing the inflow rate, but also by decreasing the outflow rate.
(p. 34) If A causes B, is it possible that B also causes A?
(p. 85) Hierarchical systems evolve from the bottom up. The purpose of the upper layers of the hierarchy is to serve the purposes of the lower layers.
(p. 91) Linear systems have an important modular virtue: you can take them apart and put them together again – the pieces add up. Nonlinearity means that the act of playing the game has a way of changing the rules. It creates rich kinds of behaviors that never occur in linear systems.
(p. 108) Taking out one individual from a position of bounded rationality and putting in another person is not likely to make much difference. Blaming the individual rarely helps create a more desirable outcome.
(p. 114) The alternative to overpowering policy resistance is so counterintuitive that it’s usually unthinkable. Let go. Give up ineffective policies. Let the resources and energy spent on both enforcing and resisting be used for more constructive purposes.
(p. 129) Losers, if they are unable to get out of the game of “success to the successful”, could get frustrated enough to destroy the playing field once they realize they have no hope of winning.
(p. 140) Specify indicators and goals that reflect the real welfare of the system. Be especially careful not to confuse effort with result or you will end up with a system that is producing effort, not result.

#40: Atomic Habits

(p. 16) Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.
(p. 20) A hallmark of any compounding process: the most powerful outcomes are delayed.
(p. 28) ⭐ You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
(p. 87) Stop thinking about your environment as filled with objects. Start thinking about it as filled with relationships.
(p. 110) The habit stacking + temptation building formula is:
1. After [current habit], I will [habit I need].
2. After [habit I need], I will [habit I want].
(p. 130) You don’t “have” to do X. You get to do X.
(p. 142) The best is the enemy of the good.
(p. 190) ⭐ The last mile is always the least crowded.
(p. 200) Never lapse twice. “I can’t be perfect, but I can avoid a second lapse. As soon as one streak ends, I get started on the next one.”
(p. 200) ⭐ Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit.
(p. 224) ⭐ The work that hurts you less than it hurts others is the work you were made to do.
(p. 227) Until you work as hard as those you admire, don’t explain away their success as luck.
(p. 235) You have to fall in love with boredom.
(p. 240) Habits + Deliberate Practice = Mastery
(p. 249) The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail.
(p. 263) ⭐ Being poor is not having too little, it is wanting more.

#41: The Phoenix Project

(p. 157) One of the problems of prevention is that you rarely know about the disasters you averted.
(p. 196) “I need you to say no! We cannot afford to have this leadership team be order takers. We pay you to think, not just do!”
(p. 197) If you know that a project will fail, I need you to say so. And I need it backed up with data. Saying no just based on your gut is not enough.
(p. 212) ⭐ Improving daily work is even more important than doing daily work.
(p. 213) It almost doesn’t matter what you improve, as long as you’re improving something. Why? Because if you are not improving, entropy guarantees that you are actually getting worse.
(p. 213) Making wait times visible is critical, so you know when your work spends days sitting in someone’s queue, or worse, when work has to go backward, because it doesn’t have all the parts or requires rework.
(p. 332) In ten years, I’m certain every COO worth their salt will have come from IT. Any COO who doesn’t intimately understand the IT systems that run the business is just an empty suit relying on someone else to do their job.
(p. 370) It is now my aspiration in every domain of my life to never fear conflict, never be afraid to tell the truth, and never be afraid to say what I really think.

#42: A Simpler Way

(p. 13) There are no “windows of opportunity,” narrow openings in the fabric of space-time that soon disappear forever. Possibilities are infinite.
(p. 42) Life creates niches not to dominate, but to support. Symbiosis is the most favored path for evolution. Niches are an example of symbiosis.
(p. 50) We encourage others to change only if we honor who they are now. We ourselves engage in change only as we discover that we might be more of who we are by becoming something different.
(p. 51) There are no separated individuals. [We are all connected.]
(p. 62) Love is saying yes to belonging.
(p. 63) What about those of us marooned in organizations of no belonging? Daily, we offer less and less. We withdraw our love and give it willingly to other areas of our lives.
(p. 82) When we shrink people’s access to information, we shrink their capacity. They will still self-organize, but why make this process difficult? Why starve people who want to create organization?
(p. 91) Could we take what feels like a threat and alter its role in our lives?

#43: When They Win, You Win

(p. 30) The job of a manager is only two things:
- Deliver an aligned result
- Enable the success of the people on your teams
(p. 31) The manager is responsible for everything the team does or fails to do.
(p. 51) Overachievers abound, but they often confuse volume of work with impact.
⭐ (p. 61) If you feel like you need to say “I’m in charge” or imply these words, you are definitely not in charge.
(p. 66) Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact, they thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling necessary.
(p. 89) “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”
(p. 89) “For once, I’d like to hear someone brag about their excellent time management skills, rather than complain about how much they can’t get done.”
⭐ (p. 91) If you walk around demonstrating performative workaholism by humblebragging/complaining about how you haven’t had a vacation in half a year or how you always work weekends, not only are you probably terrible at managing your time but you are also likely modeling all the wrong stuff. This is leadership by poor example.
(p. 92) 3 > 2 > 4: “Three is greater than two is greater than four.” This means if you have more than three priorities, you have none.
(p. 104) The brain can be broken down into two major parts:
- The elephant
- The rider
(p. 108) A Multiplier is a leader who gets as much as two times more intelligence, output, productivity, than average from their teams. A Diminisher, by contrast, gets half as much from their teams.
(p. 109) Managers who are trying to be liked create misery.
(p. 119) When you are talking about someone and not to someone, you are not helping them. You are also not helping yourself to have the best experience you could have at work.
(p. 119) If you work for a retaliator, do not give them feedback.
(p. 120) One of the most persistent and nefarious forms of bias is our ability to absorb the signal that suggests we’re crushing it and our difficulty in absorbing feedback that suggests we’re not.
(p. 120) You have an important and valid perspective, but always remember that this doesn’t make you “right”. We each have our unique context.
(p. 127) The only person who ever thinks the team meeting is totally rad is the person running that team meeting.
(p. 128) You have two ears and one mouth. Take that as a signal from the universe as to how much you’re supposed to use each.
(p. 129) Let’s not do anything inauthentic. The greatest reward is to follow up. Following up does not necessarily mean you enact whatever suggestion you heard!
(p. 130) The input you get from your teams almost always has something valuable in it that you can use.
(p. 139) Three words to care personally:
- Time
- Help
- Success
- (For example: “That person took the time to help me be more successful.")
(p. 147) We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.
(p. 167) You want to help people grow into who they want to be and not who you need them to be or who you think they should be.
(p. 204) Career Conversations

#44: Adaptive Ethics for Digital Transformation

(p. 16) Since productivity no longer determines success, it can no longer be the measure of employee contribution.
(p. 17) Overcoming recalcitrance is no longer the main function of management.
(p. 19) The idea employee demonstrates contribution, rather than obedience.
(p. 28) Consequentialism is not a good way to make ethical decisions in the digital world.
(p. 30) The moral worth of an action can’t depend on its consequences, because those are uncertain. The goodness of an act can only depend on intention.
(p. 45) What is “ethical” changes over time.
(p. 78) Not everything that matters is measurable.
(p. 86) There is no such thing as “trust but verify.” One verifies because of a lack of trust.
(p. 90) Decentralizing authority allows employees to use their practical knowledge and their proximity to customers to innovate and make decisions. When we abstract away that practical knowledge into summary metrics and targets, we forego that advantage.
(p. 105) Like euphemisms, bullshit and other forms of insincere communication, secrets create a space in which morally questionable behavior can flourish.
(p. 112) It seems obvious that corporate criminals have some character flaw. They know (at least in the abstract) that what they are doing is wrong. The problem is institutional rather than individual, and blaming it on sociopathic behavior directs attention away from the more important organizational issues.
(p. 123) When we encounter another individual truly as a person, not as an object for use, we become fully human.
(p. 171) Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in raising every time we fall.
(p. 184) Valuing “success” is a way of denying the impact of uncertainty.
(p. 193) A worker in a steel mill said: “Picasso can point to a painting. A writer can point to a book. What can I point to? Everybody should have something to point to.”
(p. 195) The challenge for all of us who try to lead large-scale digital transformations in our enterprises is that we’re faced with conflicting imperatives:
- Maximize returns for shareholders and satisfy social obligations
- Empower teams and make sure they produce reliably
- Adapt to changing circumstances and predict results + delivering on our predictions
- Build deep relationships with customers and preserve their privacy and refrain from manipulating them inappropriately.
(p. 196) The most critical ethical questions:
- What do we want?
- What does success look like?
- What are we trying to optimize?

#45: The Kubernetes Book

(p. 14) A k8s cluster consists of a control plane and worker nodes.
(p. 24) “Pod” comes from a “pod of whales”. As the Docker logo is a whale, k8s ran with the whale concept and that’s why we have “Pods.”
(p. 34), GKE is a hosted platform and only lets you see worker nodes. Control plane nodes are managed by GKE and hidden from you.
(p. 45) Use the --recursive option in kubectl explain (e.g. kubectl explain pods --recursive) to get all the details.
(p. 47) Applications should always store state and data outside of the Pod, because it is ephemeral.
(p. 51) Never scale an app by adding more of the same app containers to an existing Pod.
(p. 73) You can kubectl delete -f file.yaml to delete the associated resources.
(p. 121) You can kubectl apply -f ... the yaml found at this link to deploy an ingress-nginx controller: https://bit.ly/44oltXt
(p. 128) You can configure your internal DNS (for your machine) by editing the hosts file in /etc on your local computer.
(p. 137) K8s automatically populates every container’s /etc/resolv.conf file with the IP address of the cluster DNS service.
(p. 138) Every k8s node runs a system service called kube-proxy that implements a controller watching the API server for new services and EndpointSlice objects. When it sees them, it creates local IPVS rules telling the node to intercept traffic destined for the Service’s ClusterIP and forward it to the individual Pod IPs
(p. 224) REST is short for REpresentational State Transfer
(p. 230) kubectl api-resources is great for seeing which resources are available on your cluster, as well as which API groups they’re served from. It also shows resource shortnames and whether objects are namespaced or cluster-scoped.
(p. 262) You can use the --dry-run=server flag to test the impact of applying a PSS policy to a Namespace.

#46: Crucial Conversations

(p. 4) The determining factor between success and failure is the amount of time that passes between when the problem emerges and when those involved find a way to honestly and respectfully resolve it.
(p. 5) You can measure the health of relationships, teams, and organizations by measuring the lag time between when problems are identified & when they are resolved.
(p. 6) If you fail to discuss issues you have with your boss, your life partner, your neighbor, …, they (the issues) become the lends you see the other person through.
(p. 14) The predictor of success or failure is whether people can hold specific, relevant Crucial Conversations.
(p. 24) ⭐ The Fool’s Choice is the mistake most of us make in our Crucial Conversations, when we believe that we have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend.
(p. 26) When people purposely withhold meaning from one another, individually smart people can do collectively stupid things.
(p. 27) The Pool of Shared Meaning is the birthplace of synergy.
(p. 41) The 3 signals that you’re talking about the wrong thing:
- Your emotions escalate
- You walk away skeptical
- You’re in a déjà vu dialogue
(p. 43) The 3 levels of conversation (CPR):
- Content
- Pattern
- Relationship
(p. 48) The more words it takes you to describe the topic, the less prepared you are to talk.
(p. 53) Never allow the conversation to shift or the topic to change without acknowledging you’ve done it. In all cases, you want to place a bookmark to verbally acknowledge where you’re going in the conversation and what you intend to come back to.
(p. 57) Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
(p. 60) The dialogue-smart believe that dialogue, no matter the circumstances, is always an option.
(p. 65) Ask yourself, “What am I acting like I want?” to take a look at your behavior and work backwards to the motive.
(p. 68) Ask yourself, “What do I want for myself, the other person, and the relationship?”
(p. 74) How you respond to your own emotions is the best predictor of everything that matters in life. It is the very essence of emotional intelligence.
(p. 75) Others don’t make you mad. You make you mad. You make you scared, annoyed, insulted, or hurt. You and only you create your emotions.
(p. 79) The Path to Action is how experiences, thoughts and feelings lead to our actions:
1. See and hear
2. Tell a story
3. Feel (hurt, worried, …)
4. Act (silence, cheap shots, …)
(p. 81) Until we tell different stories, we cannot break the loop.
(p. 82) The downward spiral: Most often, when people defend their story, they are saying that their story is an accurate reflection of reality. But when you dig deeper, it is not uncommon to find that the story itself created the reality.
(p. 84) Be careful when you argue for your story. You might be creating the reality you claim to describe.
(p. 87) The first step to regaining emotional control is to challenge the illusion that what you’re feeling is the only right emotion under the circumstances.
(p. 95) We sell out when we consciously act against our own sense of what’s right.
(p. 97) When we don’t admit to our own mistakes, we obsess about others' faults, our innocence and our powerlessness to do anything other than what we’re already doing.
(p. 113) If you don’t feel safe, you can’t take any feedback.
(p. 135) Mutual purpose and mutual respect are the conditions of dialogue.
(p. 139) Forgive those who sin differently than yourself.
(p. 168) Help others see how a reasonable, rational and decent person could end up with the story you’re carrying.
(p. 173) We express confidence by sharing our facts and stories clearly. We demonstrate our humility by then asking others to share their views (and meaning it!)
(p. 173) Being open to learning is a commitment to truth over ego.
(p. 174) Change this –> to that:
- “The fact is…” –> “In my opinion…”
- “Everyone knows…” –> “I believe…”
- “The only way to do this…” –> “I am certain…”
- “That’s a bad idea…” –> “I don’t think this will work…”
(p. 175) One of the ironies of dialogue is that when there’s a difference of opinions, the more convinced and forceful you act, the more resistant others become.
(p. 176) When you begin with a complete disclaimer and a tone that suggests you’re consumed with doubt, you do the message a disservice. Use language that says you’re sharing an opinion, not language that says you’re a nervous wreck.
(p. 177) The only limit to how strongly you can express your opinion is your willingness to be equally vigorous in encouraging others to challenge it.
(p. 190) Exploring others' paths to action is a demonstration of our good intent.
(p. 219) If you live by the compliment, you’ll die by the criticism.
(p. 238) While a conversation doesn’t necessarily need to end with a decision, it should always end with a commitment: Who does what by when? How will you follow up?
(p. 239) When it’s time to pass out assignments, “we” actually means “not me.”
(p. 241) Assignments without deadlines are far better at producing guilt than stimulating action.

#47: Come as You Are

(p. 93) “I’m chasing you, remember?” he said. “I can’t chase you if you’re moving toward me.”
(p. 146) God and your dog never judge or blame you for having Feels – but neither of them can make love with you.
(p. 165) Self-criticism is one of the best predictions of loneliness.
(p. 166) Far from motivating us to get better, self-criticism makes us sicker.
(p. 180) Never say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want to say to your best friend or your daughter.
(p. 186) If you hide behind a wall to protect yourself from the pain of rejection, then you also block out joy. If you never let others see the parts you want to hide, then they’ll never see the parts you want them to know.
(p. 232) If sex is a drive, like hunger, then potential partners are like animals to be hunted for food.
(p. 290) Sex is not context dependent. Sex can happen anywhere. Pleasure is context dependent.
(p. 298) Meta-emotions are how you feel about how you feel.
(p. 310) ⭐ It isn’t the symptoms that predict how much anxiety disrupts a person’s life, it’s how a person feels about those symptoms.
(p. 317) If you numb physical pain, healing can still happen. If we try to “numb” emotional pain, we get a break from the pain, but the healing is put on pause, too.

#48: Remote Not Distant

(p. 39) When fearful CEOs talk about workplace culture, they’re really talking about workplace control.
(p. 43) “Are you open to maximizing the benefits of a remote environment even if it means your role feels less important, for example by letting team members co-create the new culture rather than dictating the terms yourself?”
(p. 43) The office is the new offsite.
(p. 44) The new office should include:
- The library, a quiet space for deep work and research
- The plaza, a kitchen and lunchroom to socialize with colleagues
- The avenue, a transitional space for passing with the potential for casual collaboration
(p. 69) A crisis is a spotlight. It’s a moment to demonstrate your values and lead by example.
(p. 81) Your culture is the behavior you reward and punish.
(p. 86) What you ignore, disregard, turn a blind eye to, or sweep under a carpet becomes the things you implicitly endorse.
(p. 87) Your culture is determined by what people perceive to be the behaviors you reward and punish. Not what you actually reward and punish. Not what you say you reward and punish.
(p. 88) Culture is how people behave when no one is looking.
(p. 88) Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons doesn’t work. People can tell the difference.
(p. 91) When an organization says “yes” to everything, they are saying “no” to what really matters.
(p. 95) Your culture is defined by what you say yes and no to.
(p. 100) Subcultures are not silos but specific manifestations that feed off each other.
(p. 105) Feeling rejected by our social system feels a lot like dying.
(p. 107) Avoid copy-pasting past practices into a new reality.Leaders need to recreate “How did X activity help the teams [in the old reality]” rather than the activity itself.
(p. 109) Trust is built between two people. Psychological safety is created by the team.
(p. 119) Break the Golden Rule: don’t treat people how you want to be treated; instead, follow their “washing instructions.”
(p. 128) Rather than assuming that people agree when they stay silent, infer that they don’t.
(p. 130) Reframe “bad news” as data.
(p. 132) Mistakes are stepping stones, not disasters.
(p. 136) A prompt that gives people permission to come up with wild ideas: “Ideas that could get you fired.”
(p. 140) The research is clear: Telling others what they should improve actually hinders learning.
(p. 146) Use feedback to jump into the future rather than being stuck in the past. Replace “feedback” with feedforward.
(p. 148) Assume confusion over conspiracies.
(p. 151) Sometimes, the best help you can offer is your silence. Don’t rush to provide a solution. Just listen.
(p. 174) Mistakes are goldmines.
(p. 194) If you’re always in work mode, the time you’re supposed to use to unwind ends up contributing to more burnout.
(p. 196) The people who are more supportive of fully returning to the physical office – & watercooler conversations – are those who were successful in that environment. There’s zero academic evidence about the effectiveness of watercooler conversations.
(p. 201) The six work modes for distributed teams:
- Focus
- Deep collaboration
- Regular collaboration
- Learning
- Unplug
- Casual collaboration
(p. 211) Deep work should be the majority of a knowledge worker’s work.
(p. 218) Any gathering that requires more than 50 minutes should be treated as a workshop, not a meeting.
(p. 222) All status meetings should become asynchronous.
(p. 247) Treat people the way you want them to behave (like adults)
(p. 249) Rewards, by their very nature, narrow our focus. They concentrate the mind.
(p. 254) Assume miscommunication over malice.
(p. 269) The 7 decision-making methods:
- Autocratic (“I will decide alone.")
  - Works well for decisions that need to happen fast.
- Delegation (“I fully delegate.")
  - Transfers temporary authority to someone who might be better informed to decide, and it’s a good opportunity to train people to make decisions.
- Democratic (“The majority decides.")
  - You might consider a weighted system, e.g. the person ultimately responsible for the work or decisions gets triple voting power, those affected by the decision get double power, etc.
- Consensus (“We all agree together.")
  - Is hard to implement in large groups.
- Avoidance (“I won’t decide yet.")
  - Works well when there’s a lot of ambiguity or when postponing a decision won’t create a negative consequence. Sometimes, the best decision is not to make one.
- Consent (“No one objects.")
  - Is not the same as consensus: it means that no one opposes the idea even if they don’t agree.
- Consultative (“I will consult before deciding.")
  - Requires being clear about why you are asking for input. Some people confuse being consulted with a Democratic method, but there’s a difference between providing input and voting.
(p. 272) No decision method is perfect; they all have pros and cons.
(p. 272) When a decision will impact people’s work or them personally, you should get their input.
(p. 276) We don’t need heroic leaders. We need human beings who take care of people.
(p. 278) As a leader, you can’t be both a player and a coach. Trying to be both is bound to fail.
(p. 289) Transparency is not about sharing everything but about not hiding what people need to know.
(p. 296) The biggest mistake companies make is defining their hybrid work model based on the pains, not the gains, of remote work.

#49: Ansible for Devops

(p. 313) Make sure you can already log in via your SSH key before you disable password-based SSH authentication.

#50: Lean In

(p. 24) The holy trinity of fear is the fear of being a bad mother, bad wife, and bad daughter.
(p. 26) Ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then find a way to go do it.
(p. 29) The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania, and a feeling of “I’m a complete fraud.”
(p. 33) Like so many things, a lack of confidence can become a self-fulfilling prophecy
(p. 34) A simple change in posture can lead to a significant change in attitude.
(p. 35) There is no perfect fit when you’re looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around.
(p. 36) We need to acknowledge that women are less likely to keep their hands up. Woman have to learn to keep their hands up, becaus when they lower them, even managers with the best intentions might not notice.
(p. 41) For women, self-doubt can become a form of self-defense.
(p. 55) A long-term dream does not have to be realistic or even specific. Even a vague goal can provide direction, a far-off guidepost to move forward.
(p. 61) The cost of stability is often diminished opportunities for growth
(p. 63) Tiara syndrome: Women expect that if they keep doing their job well someone will notice them and place a tiara on their head.
(p. 63) The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.
(p. 71) A mentor is not someone you can freely speak to for an hour every week. That’s a therapist.
(p. 72) It should be a badge of honor for men to sponsor women.
(p. 74) All advice is autobiographical
(p. 79) Rarely is there one absolute truth, so people who believe that they speak the truth are very silencing of others.
(p. 81) Take out the “but” and everything after, since it tends to dey the preceding statement.
(p. 84) The upside of painful knowledge is much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance.
(p. 85) Miscommunication is always a two-way street.
(p. 88) Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships.
(p. 91) True leadership stems from individuality that is honestly and sometimes imperfectly expressed. Leaders should strive for authenticity over perfection.
(p. 93) When it comes to integrating career and family, planning too far in advance can close doors rather than open them.
(p. 110) The single most important career decisions that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is.
(p. 118) Equality between partners leads to happier relationships.
(p. 123) Learn to be a perfectionist in only the things that matter. Decide what matters and what doesn’t. You can’t be obsessive about things that don’t matter.
(p. 125) Dont is better than perfect. Let go of unattainable standards.
(p. 137) Guilt management can be just as important as time management.
(p. 155) Every job will demand some sacrifice. The key is to avoid unnecessary sacrifice.
(p. 157) Social gains are never handed out. They must be seized.
(p. 172) Our job is not to make young women grateful. It is to make them ungrateful so they keep going.

#51: Of Boys and Men

(p. 8) When almost one in four boys (23%) is categorized as having a “developmental disability”, it is fair to wonder if it is educational institutions, rather than boys, that aren’t functioning properly.
(p. 34) Life has not always been rosy for man in traditional families. There is a certain desolation in life that is designed for you, a potential hollowness.
(p. 37) The success of the women’s movement has not caused the precariousness of male social identity, but it has exposed it.
(p. 63) The true cause of the male malaise is not a lack of labor force participation but cultural redundancy, a sense of purposelessness that has suicidal men describing themselves as useless and worthless.
(p. 67) “Ontological security” is exactly what many men are seeking; a more solid social anchor, more certainly about how to be in the world.
(p. 97) Culture has played a particularly important role in channeling the energy of men toward positive social ends, especially by teaching them to care for others. But this behavior, being leanred, is fragile and can disappear rather easily under social conditions that no longer teach it effectively.
(p. 98) Average differences between groups should never influence the treatment of individuals.
(p. 102) To be a grown-up means learning how to temper our own natures. The child is still in us, he is just not in charge anymore.
(p. 108) The “toxic masculinity” farming alienates the majority of non-violent, non-extreme men, and does little to address the grievances, or counteract the methods that lure susceptible individuals to the far right.
(p. 111) Natural differences between men and women have often been used to justify sexism. This is mostly an outdated fear. In recent years, most of the scientists identifying natural differences have, if anything, tended to stress the superiority of women.
(p. 114) The pandemic was bad for women in some ways, and bad for men in other ways. We can hold two thoughts in our head at the same time.
(p. 117) “Boys and men are struggling because the left hates them” is a powerful political message, because the first part is true, and the second part can be made to sound plausible given the tendency of many of the Left to pathologize masculinity.
(p. 128) Masculine supremacy, like white supremacy, was the neurosis of an immature society. It is good for men as well as women that women have been set free. That genie can enver be put back into the bottle.
(p. 129) The iron rule of politics is that if there are real problems in society, and responsible parties don’e deal with them, the irresponsible parties will jump on them.
(p. 134) When there are differences in starting conditions, treating the same (i.e. equally) is not the same as treating equitably.
(p. 134) An equitable education system will be one that recognizes natural sex differences, especially the fact that boys are at a developmental disadvantage to girls at critical points in their schooling.
(p. 175) If we are serious about expanding the role of fathers, equal leave is essential. The signal policy makers need to send is that paternal care matters as much as maternal care. Anything short of full equality blunts that message.

#52: What Color Is Your Parachute?

(p. 104) You are a person, not a job.
(p. 215) Instead of just hitting the “Invite” button on LinkedIn, always include a short personalized message.
(p. 315) Unlearn the idea that our unique Mission must consist of some achievement for all the world to see, and learn instead that as the stone does not always know what ripples it has caused in the pond whose surface it impacts, so neither we nor those who watch our life will always know what we have achieved by our life and by our Mission.
(p. 324) The place your Mission needs you is where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.
(p. 325) If you approach your job hunt as an opportunity to work on this issue as well as the issue of how you will keep body and soul together, then hopefully your job hunt will end with your being able to say, “Life has deep meaning to me now. I have discovered more than my ideal job. I have found my Mission, and the reason why I am here on Earth.”

#53: The Culture Code

(p. 70) What mattered most in creating a successful team had less to do with intelligence and experience and more to do with where the desks were located.
(p. 81) Deciding who’s in & who’s out is the most powerful signal any group sends.
(p. 122) Everything is done as a group. There is no greater sin than losing track of someone.
(p. 127) Tamp down selfish instincts that might make you the center of attention
(p. 141) The most important four words any leader can say: “I screwed that up.”
(p. 145) Being vulnerable together is the only way a team can become invulnerable.
(p. 151) Discovery has to do with asking the right question the right way.
(p. 159) As a leader, ask your people 3 questions:
1. What is one thing that I currently do that you’d like me to continue to do?
2. What is one thing that I don’t currently do frequently enough that you think I should do more often?
3. What can I do to make you more effective?
(p. 161) Two critical moments happen early in a group’s life: the first vulnerability and the first disagreement. These are doorways to two possible group paths: Are we about appearing strong or about exploring the landscape together? Are we about winning interactions or about learning together?
(p. 166) Creting habits of vulnerability requires a group to endure two discomforts: emotional pain and a sense of inefficiency.
(p. 193) One of the best measures of any group’s culture is its learning velocity: how quickly it improves its performance of a new skill.
(p. 211) We assume that because we’re complex, that the way we make desisions must also be complex. It’s possible for groups to solve extremely complex problems using a few rules of thumb.
(p. 212) The road to success is paved with mistakes well-handled.

#54: Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

(p. 35) You can’t control the thoughts that arrive in your mind. You can control what you do once they appear.
(p. 35) Notice how you can choose to focus in on a thought, like Jim Carrey putting the mask over his face (in the movie The Mask), or you can let it pass and wait for the next thought to arrive.
(p. 45) When dealing with low mood, focus on your personal values around health.
(p. 46) Slow change is sustainable change.
(p. 69) Motivation is a by-product of action.
(p. 76) Once you sustain the habit of prioritizing your healthy behaviors, they will sustain you.
(p. 78) We protect ourselves from the psychological threat of shame by sabotaging a process before it gets started.
(p. 87) When the task ahead feels like a mountain to climb, you don’t look up at the peak. You narrow your focus and set yourself the challenge to make it to that next ridge. When you get there, you allow yourself to absorb that feeling of being on your way. Then you go again.
(p. 88) A simple shift of language can help us turn towards gratitude. Try switching “I have to…” with “I get to…”
(p. 94) You cannot change what you cannot make sense of.
(p. 108) No amount of therapy or psychological skills is going to overturn the destructive impact of poor sleep or diet and lack of physical activity.
(p. 117) The Feeling Wheel
(p. 123) Listen carefully. Don’t offer advice unless they ask for it. Reflect back what you hear them saying; let them know they are being heard and respected.
(p. 129) When we block one emotion, we tend to block them all. We can be left feeling hollow, numb and struggling to find meaning and to engage with life in the way we once did.
(p. 135) Acceptance is not an end point in grief. It might be fleeting moments in which you have found a way to live in this new reality.
(p. 158) Ruminating and churning over a nasty comment with no sense of how this can help you is just a continuation of the attack on your character.
(p. 147) Adding pressure to feel a certain way in a particular time-frame only adds pain and distress.
(p. 174) If we believe that mistakes and shortcomings should be met with humiliation and shame no matter what the intention, how do we ever begin to be OK with taking risks and making mistakes ourselves?
(p. 174) How other people respond to my failures does not provide an accurate assessment of my personality and worthiness as a human, but instead indicates how that person relates to failure.
(p. 175) Coming back from failure (resilience) cannot be dependent on others. We will take responsibility to tend to our wounds with compassion and dust ourselves off after a fall.
(p. 193) Every time we say no to something because of fear, we reconfirm our belief that it wasn’t safe or that we couldn’t handle it.
(p. 218) The best kind of coach is not one who swoops in to rescue you, but one who is honest with you and encourages you to find the strength within yourself to move through difficult moments, so that you may discover your own strength.
(p. 224) Through the physicality of death destroys us, the idea of death saves us.
(p. 225) Consider living, not in spite of the fact that it will all end, but because of it.
(p. 244) When stress becomes sustained over long periods, our brain tends towards more habitual behaviors that demand less energy.
(p. 251) When outbreaths are longer and more forceful than inbreaths, this slows the heart rate and calms the body.
(p. 260) Mindfulness is not ultimate, unbroken concentration. It is the process of noticing when your mind shifts its focus and intentionally choosing to redirect that focus back to the present moment.
(p. 274) Concealing shame keeps it going.
(p. 278) Sometimes we are not happy because we are human and life is difficult a lot of the time.
(p. 311) When we play the blame game, nobody wins.
(p. 314) Gaining clarity on what matters most to you acts as a compass and a guide when we are unsure how to move forward.

#55: The 48 Laws of Power

(p. xxi) If deception is the most potent weapon in your arsenal, then patience in all things is your crucial shield. Patience will protect you from making moronic blunders.
(p. xxi) Power is a game, and in games you do not judge your opponents by their intentions but by the effect of their actions.
(p. 21) In seduction, set up conflicting signals, such as desire and indifference, and you not only throw them off the scent, you inflame their desire to possess you.
(p. 31) The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
(p. 33) A person who cannot control his words shows that he cannot control himself, and is unworthy of respect. Power cannot accrue to those who squander their treasure of words.
(p. 39) Even those who argue against fame still want the books they write against it to bear their name in the title and hope to become famous for despising it.
(p. 41) Your reputation inevitably increases your presence and exaggerates your strengths without your having to spend much energy. It can also create an aura around you that will instill respect, even fear.
(p. 47) The worst fate in the world for a man who yearns fame, glory, and, of course, power is to be ignored.
(p. 51) The mysterious cannot be grasped. And what cannot be seized and consumed creates power.
(p. 54) If you find yourself trapped, cornered and on the defensive in some situation, try a simple experiment: Do something that cannot be easily explained or interpreted.
(p. 65) The essence of power is the ability to keep initiative, to get others to react to your moves.
(p. 69) Demonstrate, do not explicate.
(p. 74) Never argue. Give only results.
(p. 85) The best you can hope for is that others will grow so dependent on you that you enjoy a kind of reverse dependence: Their need for you frees you.
(p. 98) Referencing past acts of generosity only irritates because it subtly asks the other to feel guilty and puts them under obligation.
(p. 130) You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.
(p. 131) As the emperor withdrew deeper and deeper into the palace to protect himself, he slowly lost control of the realm.
(p. 134) Never imagine yourself so elevated that you can afford to cut yourself off from even the lowest echelons.
(p. 180) Learn to flatter indirectly by downplaying your own contribution.
(p. 181) By expressing modest admiration for other people’s achievements, you paradoxically call attention to your own. The ability to express wonder and amazement, and seem like you mean it, is greatly valued.
(p. 186) Do not overstep your bounds. Do what you are assigned to do, to the best of your abilities, and never do more. To think that by doing more you are doing better is a common blunder.
(p. 186) If you are a crown-keeper, be a crown-keeper. Save your excess energy for when you are not in the court.
(p. 197) The key to keeping the audience on the edge of their seats is letting events unfold slowly, then speeding them up at the right moment, according to a pattern and tempo that you control.
(p. 217) Your listeners will make their own connections and see what they want to see.
(p. 217) Once people have begun to gather around you, two dangers will present themselves; boredom and skepticism. Boredom will make people go elsewhere; skepticism will allow them the distance to think rationally about whatever it is you are offering.
(p. 228) Hesitation puts obstacles in your path, boldness eliminates them.
(p. 235) Timidity has no place in the realm of power; you will often benefit, however, by being able to feign it.
(p. 240) The person who goes too far in his triumphs creates a reaction that inevitably leads to a decline.
(p. 272) One sign of weakness is that when you touch on it the person will often act like a child. Be on the lookout, then, for any behavior that should have been outgrown.
(p. 273) An overt trait often conceals its opposite. People who thump their chests are often big cowards a prudish exterior may hide a lascivious soul; the uptight are often screaming for adventure; the shy are dying for attention.
(p. 278) The stronger the passion, the more vulnerable the person.
(p. 290) Never make the mistake of thinking that you elevate yourself by humiliating people.
(p. 292) Power rarely ends up in the hands of those who start a revolution, or even of those who further it; power sticks to those who bring it to a conclusion.
(p. 295) Space we can recover, time never.
(p. 297) Success that is built up slowly and surely is the only kind that lasts.
(p. 300) Disdain things you cannot have: ignoring them is the best revenge.
(p. 305) The more interest you show, the more you repel the object of your desire. Uncontrollable desire makes you seem weak, unworthy, pathetic.
(p. 306) If there is something you want but realize you cannot have, the worst thing you can do is draw attention to your disappoint by complaining about it.
(p. 313) If you have to explain yourself your power is already in question.
(p. 346) Greed does not pay.
(p. 355) You are your own father. Do not let yourself spend years creating yourself only to let your guard down and allow the ghost of the past – father, habit, history – to sneak back in.
(p. 372) There is no more infuriating feeling than having your individuality ignored, your own psychology unacknowledged.
(p. 385) The goal of power is always to lower people’s resistance to you. For this you need tricks, and one trick is to teach them a lesson.
(p. 394) Just as you cannot make people see the world your way, you cannot wrench them into the future with painful changes. They will rebel. If reform is necessary, anticipate the reaction against it and find ways to disguise the change and sweeten the poison.
(p. 398) A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
(p. 398) The changes you make must seem less innovative than they are.
(p. 405) Of all the disorders of the soul, envy is the only one no one confesses to.
(p. 405) As you gain power, those below you will feel envious of you. They may not show it but it is inevitable.
(p. 406) The naturally perfect have to work the most to disguise their brilliance, displaying a defect or two to deflect envy before it takes root.
(p. 407) Subtly emphasize how lucky you have been, to make your happiness seem more attainable to other people, and the need for envy less acute. But be careful not to affect on false modesty that people can easily see through. This will only make them more envious.
(p. 407) Political power of any kind creates envy, and one of the best ways to deflect it before it takes root is to seem unambitious.
(p. 407) Disguise your power as a kind of self-sacrifice rather than a source of happiness and you make it seem less enviable. Emphasize your troubles and you turn a potential danger (envy) into a source of moral support (pity)
(p. 408) In some Arab countries, a man will avoid arousing envy by showing his wealth only on the inside of his home.
(p. 408) Do not try to help or do favors for those who envy you; they will think you are condescending to them.
(p. 408) Envy is the tax which all distinction must pay.
(p. 414) Success makes you feel invulnerable while also making you more hostile and emotional when people challenge your power. It makes you less able to adapt to circumstance. You come to believe your character is more responsible for your success than your strategizing and planning.
(p. 414) The greatest danger occurs at the moment of victory.
(p. 416) The wheel of fortune will hurtle you down as easily as up. If you prepare for the fall, it is less likely to ruin you when it happens.
(p. 416) The rhythm of power often requires an alternation of force and cunning. Too much force creates a counterreaction; too much cunning, no matter how cunning it is, becomes predictable.
(p. 417) There is no better time to stop and walk away than after a victory.
(p. 424) Where chess is linear and direct, the ancient game of go is closer to the kind of strategy that will prove relevant in a world where battles are fought indirectly, in vast, loosely connected areas. Its strategies are abstract and multidimensional, inhabiting a plane beyond time and space.

#56: Originals

(p. xii) A friend is someone who sees more potential in you than you see in yourself, someone who helps you become the best version of yourself.
(p. 38) You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.
(p. 51) To be successfully original, an invention needs to be new – but it also has to be practical.
(p. 58) It’s rare the originality comes from insiders, especially when they’re as entrenched and comfortable as the optical industry.
(p. 59) Instead of limiting access to the ideas ans leaving it up to managers to decide which ones to pursur and implement, make suggestions completely transparent in a collaborative document (e.g. Google Docs). Everyone in the company can read them, comment on them online, and discuss them in a bi-weekly meeting.
- This means that ideas are evaluated not only by managers, but also by fellow creators who tend to be more open to radically novel ideas.
(p. 59) To give employees some guidance on which suggestions represent strategic priorities for the company, managers vote the promosing ones up and the bad ones down. To avoid false positives and false negatives, the votes aren’t biniding. Technology teams can overrule managers by selecting a request that didn’t receive a lot of votes and work to prove its value.
(p. 67) As you gain respect for your efforts, you gain idiosyncracy credits: the latitude to deviate from the group’s expectations.
(p. 74) The easier it is to think of somethiing, the more common and important we assume it is. We use ease of retrieval as information.
(p. 91) If we could do things over, most of us would censor ourselves less and express our ideas more.
(p. 112) Work like a sculptor modelling in clay who never accepts any form as final but goes on creating, even at the risk of obscuring his original intentions.
(p. 141) Originality is what everybody wants, but there’s a sweet spot. The goal is to push the envelope, not tear the envelope.
(p. 152) By adopting the parenting practices that are typically applied primarily to younger children, we can raise any child to become more original.
(p. 167) Explanations for our impact on others are most likely to have a lasting effect if they’re coupled with a statement of principles. “She’s crying because she wants to play with your toys” doesn’t do much good alone; the more meaningful statement is: “She’s crying because she wants to play with your toys, and in this family we always share.”
(p. 169) People are more likely to clean up when asked to be helpers instead of asking to help.
(p. 190) No one has the right to hold a critical opinion without speaking up about it.
(p. 201) Argue like you’re right and listen like you’re wrong.
(p. 205) The main purpose of values is to help people choose between conflicting options. The relative importance of multiple values guides action.
(p. 242) “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.”

#57: Measure What Matters

(p. 11) Writing goals down makes them real.
(p. 24) Stressing output is the key to increasing productivity while looking to increase activity can result in just the opposite.
(p. 37) “We will achieve a certain Objective as measured by the following Key Results.”
(p. 38) When you’re really high up in management, you’re teaching.
(p. 46) Bad companies are destroyed by crisis. Good companies survive them. Great companies are improved by them.
(p. 50) When you are tired of saying it, people are starting to hear it.
(p. 54) Don’t allow the perfect be the enemy of the good. Done is better than perfect.
(p. 55) Completion of all key results must result in attainment of the objective. If not, it’s not an OKR.
(p. 88) Micromanagement is mismanagement.
(p. 114) If you share a goal that nobody sees [due to an overly complex communication system], is the system truly transparent?
(p. 119) Whenever a key result or objective becomes obsolete or impractical, feel free to end it midstream. There’s no need to hold stubbornly to an outdated projection – strike it from your list and move on. Our goals are servants to our purpose, not the other way around.
(p. 119) When an objective gets dropped before the end of the OKR interval, it’s important to notify everyone who depends on it.
(p. 122) In evaluating OKR performance, objective data is enhanced by the goal setter’s thoughtful, subjective judgement. For any given goal in a given quarter, there may be extenuating circumstances. A weak showing by the numbers might hide a strong effort, a strong one could be artificially inflated.
(p. 124) Where OKR scores pinpoint what went right or wrong in the work, and how the team might improve, self-assessments drive a superior goal-setting process for the next quarter. There are no judgements, only learning.
(p. 142) The reward of having met challenging goals is that you get to play again.
(p. 159) Engineers struggle with goal setting in two big ways: they hate crossing off anything they think is a good idea, and they habitually underestimate how long it takes to get things done.
(p. 175) Conversations, Feedback and Recognition give OKRs their human voice.
(p. 185) Start rating your meetings and meeting organizers.
(p. 211) When you know your company objectives like you know your last name, it’s very calming.
(p. 244) If everything’s at green, you failed. You needed bigger ambitions.

#58: Wiring the Winning Organization

(p. 20) In all but the smallest endeavors, a leader’s primary contribution is not doing the work required to achieve the goal. Instead, they are responsible for everything required to enable that work to be done easily and well. This is achieved through the social circuitry by which people’s collaborative efforts are easily coordinated and integrated.
(p. 41) The Nyquist-Shannon Sampling Theorem: A receiver (sensor) must sample at least twice the rate of the sender (the thing being monitored and controller) to accurately measure and control a system. Thus, if reports are generated and reviewed once a week, they can be used to control (manage) only situations that change no faster or more frequently than every 2 weeks.
(p. 97) As a leader, are you humble and open-minded enough to expose your best ideas to aggressive testing? When those tests find flaws, will you be receptive enough to recognize that your best ideas have been refuted? Once those ideas are refuted, will you solicit the contributions of others to generate new ideas that can be tested?
(p. 132) Multitasking is a source of cognitive load. It [invariably] degrades performance.
(p. 251) Communication is not about speaking what we think. It’s about ensuring others hear what we mean.
(p. 255) The best predictors of performance in tech environments:
- to what extent important info can be shared
- how messengers of bad news are trained to tell bad news
- how responsibilities are shared across functional specialities
- how bridging between teams is rewarded
- how failure causes genuine inquiry

#59: L’Art du bonheur

(p. 28) Le but de la vie, c’est le bonheur.
(p. 31) “Rien que de me lever le matin, et de songer à ce que la journée va m’apporter, je suis enthousiaste. C’est l’état d’esprit, plus que les évènements extérieurs, qui détermine le bonheur.”
(p. 42) Le bonheur le plus élevé est celui que l’on atteint au stade de la Libération, quand la souffrance s’annule. C’est cela, le bonheur authentique et durable.
(p. 46) Un esprit, c’est là tout l’équipement dont nous avons besoin pour vivre un complet bonheur.
(p. 79) “Pratiquement tous les aspects de ma vie dépendent des autres. Ma précieuse autonomie est une complète illusion, un fantasme.”
(p. 83) La menace d’être séparé des autres constitue la peur la plus fondamentale de l’humanité.
(p. 119) La compassion est une richesse que l’on emporte toujours avec soi.
(p. 133) Se confronter aux problèmes plutôt que de les ignorer nous place en position de les aborder.
(p. 138) L’ignorance, le désir sans frein et l’aversion sont les racines de la souffrances, les trois poisons de l’esprit.
(p. 170) Quand celui en qui j’ai placé grand espoir me fait grand mal, puissé-je le tenir pour un guide suprême!
(p. 186) L’humain est prêt à toutes souffrances, tant qu’il peut y déceler un sens.
(p. 195) C’est mentalement que nous convertissons la douleur en souffrance. Pour la diminuer, il faut distinguier entre la douleur propre à la douleur et celle que nous créons rien qu’en y pensant.
(p. 239) L’humilité suppose tout d’abord une capacité de confrontation, de représailles, pour qu’ensuite intervienne au contraire la décision délibérée de n’en rien faire.
(p. 251) “Je n’ai pas à me soucier de passer pour un sot ou à me préoccuper de ce que les autres pensent de moi.”
(p. 253) S’il y a une solution, cela ne sert à rien de s’inquiéter. S’il n’y a pas de solution, s’inquiéter est tout aussi inutile.
(p. 279) Tout est matière à leçon.

#60: Par Amour Du Stress

(p. 25) Les gens vont produire une réponse biologique de stress lorsqu’ils sont exposés à une situation comprenant l’une ou plusieurs de ces caractéristiques: perte de contrôle, imprévisibilité, nouveauté et égo menacé.
(p. 106) Deux types d’hostilité qui augmentent le risque de développer un trouble coronarien: l’hostilité cynique et la colère réprimée.
(p. 154) L’inverse du stress n’est pas la relaxation, c’est la résilience: la capacité d’avoir un plan B, C, D, etc. pour faire face à la situation qui nous stresse.
(p. 178) Stresser quelqu’un n’augmentera jamais sa performance, cela ne fera qu’augmenter sa mémoire de l’évènement stressant, au détriment de toute autre information.
(p. 208) La meilleure façon d’utiliser la respiration pour diminuer la réponse de stress est la “respiration-bedon”: faire entrer de l’air dans votre corps par la bouche ou le nez en créant le plus gros bedon possible.
(p. 210) La meilleure façon de faire la respiration-bedon sans s’en rendre compte, c’est de chanter.
(p. 251) Entre la condition adverse et la réponse de stress, il y a un individu qui négocie cette situation en fonction de son histoire de vie, sa personnalité et ses émotions.

#61: Where Good Ideas Come From

(p. 29) Our ideas are works of bricolage, built out of and constrained by the spare parts, detritus and skills that surround them.
(p. 31) The strange and beautiful truth about the adjacent possible is that its boundaries grow as you explore those boundaries. Think of it as a house that magically expands with each door you open. Keep opening new doors and eventually you’ll have built a palace.
(p. 45) A good idea is a network. A new idea is a network of cells exploring the adjacent possible of connections that they can make in your mind.
(p. 58) It’s not that the network itself is smart; it’s that the individuals get smarter because they’re connected to the network.
(p. 61) The ground zero of innovation is not the microscope. It is the conference table.
(p. 65) Information spillover is a feature, not a flaw.
(p. 76) Hunches that don’t connect are doomed to stay hunches.
(p. 78) Sustaining the slow hunch is less a matter of perspiration than of cultivation. You give the hunch enough nourishment to keep it growing, and plant it in fertile soil, where its roots can make new connections. And then you give it time to bloom.
(p. 78) The slow hunch is the rule, not the exception.
(p. 84) “Commonplacing” involves transcribing interesting or inspirational passages from one’s reading, assembling a personalized encyclopedia of quotations. Maintaining a commonplace book enables one to lay up a fund of knowledge from which we may at all times select what is useful at in the various pursuits of life.
(p. 87) You need a system for capturing hunches, but not necessarily categorizing them, because categories can build barriers between disparate ideas, restrict them to their own conceptual islands.
(p. 101) Dreams are not somehow unveiling a repressed truth. Instead, it is our brain exploring, trying to find new truths by experimenting with novel combinations of neurons.
(p. 134) The history of being spectacularly right has a shadow history lurking behind it: a much longer history of being spectacularly wrong, again and again. And not just wrong, but messy.
(p. 136) Generative mistakes are generative precisely because they connect to slow hunches in the minds of their creators.
(p. 137) Being right keeps you in place. Being wrong forces you to explore.
(p. 138) The error is needed to set off the truth, much as a dark background is required for exhibiting the brightness of a picture.
(p. 142) It’s not enough to say “to err is human”. Error is what made humans possible in the first place.
(p. 174) Chance favors the connected mind.
(p. 191) Genres are the platforms and paradigms of the creative world. They fade into view, through a complicated set of shared signals passed between artists, each contributing different elements to the mix.
(p. 199) Innovation thrives in discarded spaces.
(p. 200) Old ideas can sometimes use new buildings. New ideas must use old buildings.
(p. 209) When you don’t have to ask for permission, innovation thrives.
(p. 235) Fourth-quadrant innovation (non-market network) creates a new open platform that commercial entities can them build upon, either by repackaging and refining the original breakthrough, or by developing emergent innovations on top of the underlying platform.
(p. 243) The more government think of itself as an open platform instead of a centralized bureaucracy, the better it will be for all of us, citizens and activists and entrepreneurs alike.
(p. 246) Go for a walk; cultivate hunches; write everything down, but keep your folders messy; embrace serendipity; make generative mistakes; take on multiple hobbies; frequent coffeehouses and other liquid networks; follow the links; let others build on your ideas; borrow, recycle, reinvent; build a tangled bank.

#62: Principles - Life and Work

(p. xiv) Shift from having a perspective of “I know I’m right” to having one of “How do I know I’m right?”
(p. 38) Go slowly when faced with the choice between two things that you need that are seemingly at odds. That way you can figure out how to have as much of both as possible. There is almost always a good path that you just haven’t discovered yet, so look for it until you find it rather than settle for the choice that is then apparent to you.
(p. 71) While one gets better at things over time, it doesn’t become any easier if one is also progressing to higher levels – the Olympic athlete finds his sport to be every bit as challenging as the novice does.
(p. 79) The greatest success you can have as the person in charge is to orchestrate others to do things well without you. A step below that is doing things well yourself, and worst of all is doing things poorly yourself.
(p. 91) Life consists of three phases:
1. First, we are dependent on others and we learn
2. Then, others depend on us and we work
3. Finally, others no longer depend on us and we no longer have to work. We are free to savor life.
(p. 123) Having the basics – a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good food, good sex – is most important and those things don’t get much better when you have a lot of money or much worse when you have less. And the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special than one meets at the bottom or in between.
(p. 145) Perfection doesn’t exist; it is a goal that fuels a never-ending process of adaptation. If nature, or anything, were perfect it wouldn’t be evolving.
(p. 152) If you can develop a reflexive reaction to psychic pain that causes you to reflect on it rather than avoid it, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving.
(p. 172) Don’t confuse goals with desires. A proper goal is something that you really need to achieve. Desires are things that you want that can prevent you from reaching your goals. Typically, desires are first-order consequences.
(p. 174) Acknowledging your mistakes is not the same as surrendering to them. It’s the first step toward overcoming them.
(p. 176) Proximate causes are typically the actions (or lack of actions) that lead to problems, so they are described with verbs (“I missed the train because I didn’t check the schedule”). Root causes run much deeper and they are typically described with adjectives (“I didn’t check the train schedule because I am forgetful").
(p. 189) You can’t put out (convey thinking and be productive) without taking in (learn).
(p. 192) Holding wrong opinions in one’s head and making bad decisions based on them instead of having thoughtful disagreements is one of the greatest tragedies of mankind.
(p. 197) If your statement starts with “I could be wrong” or “I’m not believable”, you should probably follow it with a question and not an assertion.
(p. 199) Consult others when you find yourself about to make a decision in an area that is your blind spot, where in the past you’ve constantly made bad decisions.
(p. 199) If a number if different believable people say you are doing something wrong and you are the only one who doesn’t see it that way, assume that you are probably biased.
(p. 228) The five types of the Team Dimensions Profile:
- Creators generate new ideas and original concepts
- Advancers communicate these new ideas and carry them forward. They relish feelings and relationships and manage the human factors. They are excellent at generating enthusiasm for work.
- Refiners challenge ideas. They analyze projects for flaws, then refine them with a focus on objectivity and analysis. They love facts and theories and working with a systematic approach.
- Executors can also be thought of as Implementers. They ensure that important activities are carried out and goals accomplished; they are focused on details and the bottom line.
- Flexors are a combination of all four types. They can adapt their styles to fit certain needs and are able to look at a problem from a variety of perspectives.
(p. 254) All of your “must-dos” must be above the bar before you do your “like-to-dos”.
(p. 255) Any damn fool can make it complex. It takes a genius to make it simple.
(p. 299) An organization is a machine consisting of two major parts: culture and people. The people who make up an organization determine the kind of culture it has, and the culture of the organization determines the kinds of people who fit in.
(p. 321) To have an idea meritocracy,
- Put your honest thoughts on the table
- Have a thoughtful disagreement
- Abide by agreed-upon ways of getting past disagreements
(p. 327) Never say anything about someone that you wouldn’t say to them directly. There is never a good reason to bad-mouth people behind their backs.
(p. 328) Managers should not talk about people who work for them if they are not in the room.
(p. 328) In some companies, employees hide their employer’s mistakes, and employers do the same in return. This is unhealthy and stands in the way of improvement.
(p. 329) Create an environment in which everyone has the right to understand what makes sense and no one has the right to hold a critical opinion without speaking up.
(p. 342) To have a good relationship, you must be clear with each other about what the quid pro quo is:
- What is generous
- What is fair
- What is just plain taking advantage
(p. 348) Create a culture in which it is okay to make mistakes and unacceptable not to learn from them.
(p. 350) It is important to know the difference between 1) capable people who made mistakes and are self-reflective and open to learning from them and 2) incapable people, or capable people who aren’t able to embrace their mistakes and learn from them.
(p. 351) If you don’t have a willingness to fail, you’re going to have to be very careful not to invent.
(p. 351) People who are just succeeding must not be pushing their limits.
(p. 354) Pain + Reflection = Progress.
(p. 364) “I often hear people complaining about the style or tone of a criticism in order to deflect from its substance. If you think someone’s style is an issue, box it as a separate issue to get in sync on.”
(p. 386) If you don’t think the principles provide the right way to resolve a problem or disagreement, you need to fight to change the principles, not just do what you want to do.
(p. 399) People often make the mistake of focusing on what should be done while neglecting the more important question of who should be given the responsibility for determining what should be done
(p. 414) The person with good character and poor abilities, while likeable, won’t get the job done and is painfully difficult to fire because doing so feels like shooting the loyal dog you can’t afford to keep anymore – but they must go.
(p. 417) There’s not enough money in the world to get you to part with a valued relationship.
(p. 422) Changing someone’s values is something you should never count on.
(p. 426) In the end, accuracy and kindness are the same thing. What might seem kind but isn’t accurate is harmful to the person.
(p. 428) The most powerful transformations come from experiencing the pain from mistakes that a person never wants to have again – aka “hitting bottom”.
(p. 453) When a problem occurs, conduct the discussion at two levels:
- The machine level (why the outcome was produced)
- The case-at-hand level (what to do about it)
(p. 455) Managing people who report to you should feel like skiing together.
(p. 461) All your little problems are small pieces of trash you’re stepping over to get to the other side of a room.
(p. 464) It is more important to have good challengers than good followers.
(p. 465) The kind of leader who looks and acts like a skilled ninja will beat the kind of leader who looks and acts like a muscular action hero every time.
(p. 466) The greatest influence you can have over intelligent people – and the greatest influence they will have on you – comes from constantly getting in sync about what is true and what is best so that you all want the same things.
(p. 473) Problems are like coal thrown into a locomotive engine because burning them up – inventing and implementing solutions for them – propels us forward.
(p. 475) Acknowledging a weakness isn’t the same thing as accepting it. It’s a necessary first step toward overcoming it.
(p. 478) Think of yourself as a chef and taste the soup before it goes out to customers. Is it too salty or too bland?
(p. 480) Problems ranked from worst to best:
1. Unidentified problems
2. Identified problems without a planned solution (it hurts morale)
3. Identified problems with a good planned solution
4. Solved problems
(p. 489) A root cause is not an action, but a reason.
(p. 501) A good machine takes into account the fact that people are imperfect and make mistakes.
(p. 509) Don’t just pay attention to your job; pay attention to how your job will be done if you are no longer around.
(p. 522) Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

#63: Drive

(p. 34) Rewards must be handled carefully, because they can turn play into work.
(p. 37) People use rewards expecting to gain the benefit of increasing another person’s motivation and behavior, but in so doing they often incur the unintentional and hidden cost of undermining that person’s intrinsic motivation toward the activity.
(p. 44) It is those who are least motivated to pursue extrinsic rewards who eventually receive them.
(p. 49) The problem with making an extrinsic reward the only destination that matters is that some people will choose the quickest route there, even if it means taking the low road.
(p. 49) When the reward is the activity itself (e.g. deepening learning, delighting customers, doing one’s best),
- there are no shortcuts. The only route to the destination is the high road.
- it’s impossible to act unethically because the person who would be most disadvantaged is yourself.
(p. 93) Hire good people and leave them alone.
(p. 99) Without sovereignty over our time, it’s nearly impossible to have autonomy over our lives.
(p. 119) Goals come in two varieties:
- performance goals (“Getting an A in Spanish”)
- learning goals (“Being able to speak French”)
(p. 120) Giving a performance goal is effective for relatively straightforward problems but often inhibits the ability to apply the concepts to new situations.
(p. 122) Try to pick a profession in which you enjoy even the most mundane, tedious parts. Then you will always be happy.
(p. 123) Being a professional is going the things you have to do, on the days you don’t feel like doing them.
(p. 125) Mastery is an asymptote.
(p. 142) If people chose profit goals, reach those goals, and still don’t feel any better about their lives, one response is to increase the size and scope of the goals – to seek more money or greatest outside motivation. And that can drive them down a road of further unhappiness thinking it’s the road to happiness.
(p. 142) One of the reasons for anxiety and depression in the high attainers is that they’re not having good relationships. They’re busy making money and attending to themselves, which leaves less room in their lives for love, attention, caring, empathy, and the things that truly count.
(p. 165) Turn your next off-site into a FedEx Day: Set aside an entire day for noncommissioned work, where employees can work on anything they choose, however they want, with whomever they’d like. Make sure they have the tools and resources they need. Impose just one rule: people must deliver something – a new idea, a prototype of a product, a better internal process – the following day.
(p. 170) Use noncontrolling language. Next time you’re about to say “must” or “should”, try saying “think about” or “consider” instead. A small change in wording can help promote engagement over compliance and might even reduce some people’s urge to defy.
(p. 175) Simplicity is the art of maximizing work not done.
(p. 188) Give your kids an allowance and some chores – but don’t combine them. If you combine them, it converts a moral and familial obligation into just another commercial transaction and teaches that the only reason to do a less-the-desirable task for your family is in exchange for payment.
(p. 189) Praise effort and strategy, not intelligence. People who are praised for “being smart” often believe that every encounter is a test of whether they really are. So to avoid looking dumb, they resist new challenges and choose the easiest path.
(p. 190) Praise is feedback, not an award ceremony. It’s often best to offer it one-on-one, in private.
(p. 196) One of the best ways to know whether you’ve mastered something is to try to teach it.

#64: The Software Engineer’s Guidebook

(p. 40) Good feedback is:
- timely
- specific
- actionable
(p. 55) Keep track of your achievements. The most practical way to do this is to write down what you do, every week. Summarize key achievements each month and quarter.
(p. 67) Done is better than perfect, especially during wartime.
(p. 94) The easiest way to turn down a request is to reply “yes, I’d like to help, BUT…”
(p. 157) Create a system for capturing important but not urgent work. This could be a to-do list, a simple document, a physical notebook, …
(p. 164) Once you have a full understanding of how things work, “thinking outside the box” will simply be offering the solution that experts tend to do.
(p. 174) “Every mentor I worked with ended our conversations with a ‘you got this!’ or ‘you can do this!’ or similar. Only words, but damn, they meant the world to me.”
(p. 176) Asking honest questions before giving feedback gives the receiver the opportunity to share more context, with the absence of a negative sentiment.
(p. 225) Kickoffs are events where big questions are clarified with relevant stakeholders.
(p. 229) The Physics of software projects: In the trio of “Timeline, Scope, and People”, if one of these things changes, at least one other also needs to change in response.
(p. 270) Processes are never the goal. Don’t ask which processes your team should have in place, ask how the team can get stuff done better and faster.
(p. 273) One easy way to know if there is clarity is to ask engineers what the team’s goals are, and why these goals exist. If everyone gives roughly the same answer, there’s clarity.
(p. 281) As a tech lead, not every problem is yours to solve. For example, a colleague with performance issues isn’t your problem; that’s on your manager.
(p. 287) A good resource for mapping our which career levels companies have beyond the senior engineer level is the website https://levels.fyi
(p. 289) With any collaboration, the key to making it work is trust.
(p. 296) “Why do customers use us?” is an obvious question, and it’s surprising how often engineers don’t have an answer.
(p. 311) $$\text{Trust} = \frac{\text{credibility} + \text{reliability} + \text{authenticity}}{\text{perception of self-interest}}$$
(p. 323) When not deeply embedded in a team, aim to adapt to it rather than reshape it around you. Colleagues will respect you more if you adapt and help them improve practices.
(p. 332) A service catalog is a portal where teams can register their services, and engineers can search for them. It should answer these questions:
- Is there a service that does X?
- Who owns service Y and where is the oncall rotation?
- How do I onboard my team to this service?
(p. 342) Logs are meant to help an engineering team debug production issues, by capturing missing but necessary information for future reference during troubleshooting.
(p. 346) Business metrics:
- Customer onboarding
- Success and error rates for business-specific operations
- Daily/weekly/monthly active users (DAU, WAU, MAU)
- Revenue
- Usage numbers: how long does a user interact with the app?
- Number of support tickets
- Retention and churn
(p. 347) A noisy alert is one that’s not actionable.
(p. 347) Precision measures the percentage of alerts which indicate a real issue. A system with 30% precision means 3 in 10 alerts are outages, and the rest are noise.
(p. 348) Recall measures the percentage of outages for which alerts are fired. A system with 30% recall means alerts are fired for 3 in 10 outages.
(p. 348) The ideal oncall system has 100% precision with no noisy alerts, and detects 100% of outages.
(p. 348) ⭐ Have the oncall engineer record whether each alerts is for an outage, or if it’s noise.
(p. 348) ⭐ In incident reviews, go through all recent outages and answer the question: “did an alert fire which indicated an outage was happening?” This will show the recall percentage.
(p. 355) A common mistake less experienced engineers make is trying to understand why an outage occurred, and to only start fixing it when they know. If there are obvious mitigation steps that can be started, like rolling back a code change, or executing a rollback, do these first!
(p. 358) Consider alerting on unknown states. A state that’s neither good nor bad tends to be a hotbed for problems later.
(p. 360) When it comes to architecture, you should use formal approaches only when you’re convinced it adds value, and team members understand it.
(p. 382) Always understand why you are working on something, and how things works:
- Why are we doing this project, who benefits?
- Why does it work now: what changed?
- Which alternatives could we use?
(p. 386) If you really want to force yourself to learn something well, give a presentation, or hold a session about it.

#67: Cultural Diversity in Organizations

(p. 15) Behavior is driven by perceptions of reality. Therefore, what people believe about their opportunities in the work environment is of vital important regardless of whether or not these beliefs are consistent with the facts.
(p. 28) In their recruiting efforts, companies such as Merck, Xerox, Syntex, and Hoffman-LaRoche have been aggressively using publicity they have received as good places for women and/or racioethnic minorities to work. The recognition they have received is boosting recruiting efforts.
(p. 32) To adapt successfully to its external environment, a system must incorporate all the variety found in that environment.
(p. 32) Creativity thrives on diversity.
(p. 36) If organizations are successful in overcoming resistance to change in the especially difficult area of accepting diversity, they should be well positioned to deal with resistance to other types of organization change.
(p. 59) People are at their best when they can be themselves.
(p. 65) It has been shown that persons who are high producers in brainstorming tasks are more tolerant of ambiguity than low producers.
(p. 76) Sexual harassment exists when:
- sexual activity is explicitly or implicitly made a condition for employment (“quid pro quo”)
- sexual conduct has the effect of interfering with a person’s work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment (“hostile environment”)
(p. 79) Where harassment is ignored, it eventually worsens.
(p. 91) One of the challenges for organization and individual change in diverse organizations is to create the ability to acknowledge differences in positive or neutral terms.
(p. 93) Stereotyping occurs as an overreaction to behaviors that do not match our expectations.
(p. 116) If the norm to compete is strong, people will often engage in competitive behavior even when the structure of the task makes it irrational to do so.
(p. 118) Locus of control (LOC) refers to beliefs about the causation of life events. Persons with an external LOC believe that the primary determinants of life events are external, often uncontrollable forces, whereas persons with an internal LOC tend to believe that they themselves are the primary cause of events in their lives.
(p. 119) It seems logical that members of racioethnic minority groups (and other low-power groups) may have a more external LOC than majority group members because they are much more sensitive to the influence of racioethnicity on life events.
(p. 124) A classic asymmetry in communication between women and men is that women often communicate problems in an effort to obtain support and a sharing of ideas, while men often interpret the mention of a problem as a request for them to solve it.
(p. 126) Members of minority groups are more likely to feel that they must think ideas through fully and be sure before they speak. This hinders psychological safety.
(p. 143) Majority group members often see incidents of racioethnic injustice as “isolated occurrences” while many minorities see them as single events in an overall pattern of oppression that is embedded in the social system itself.
(p. 146) Majority members are less favorable toward minorities when their numbers are relatively large. Majority members perceive minority members as a serious threat to their established power.
(p. 161) Organization culture is defined as the underlying values, beliefs and principles that serve as a foundation for the organization’s management system, as well as the set of management practices and behaviors that both exemplify and reinforce those principles.
(p. 162) Culture strength is a combination of the extent to which norms and values are clearly defined and the extent to which they are rigorously enforced. A strong culture is one in which everyone construes a situation similarly; thus the situation induces uniform expectancies and a uniform response.
(p. 163) When organizational culture is weak, people invoke their own identities for modes of behaving. The extreme of weak culture is organizational chaos.
(p. 163) Organizations can be described and compared on the four dimensions of:
- predictability – spontaneity
- internal focus – external focus
- order – flexibility
- long-term focus – short-term focus
(p. 165) ⭐ Intimate knowledge about getting along in an organization (the unspoken, unwritten and sometimes most critical information) is transmitted in ongoing small-scale socialization, particularly when the newcomer:
- acquires organizationally appropriate attitudes and behaviors
- resolves intra- and interorganizational conflicts
- begins to individualize their organizational role transmitted
(p. 165) Acculturation refers to the process for resolving cultural differences and of cultural change and adaptation between groups, especially when one group is being merged into a larger, more dominant group.
(p. 166) Pluralism refers to a two-way learning and adaptation process in which both the organization and entering members from various cultural backgrounds change to some degree to reflect the cultural norms and values of the other(s).
(p. 166) Pluralism emphasizes interdependence and mutual appreciation among cultures and the importance of preservation of microculture group identity. It is an acculturation process in which the entering members assimilate a limited number of core behaviors and values while preserving important differences along other dimensions.
(p. 168) An organizationsl culture with a high tolerance for ambiguity will exert less pressure for convergence and will tolerate more divergence. Thus these organizations might be more inclined to favor pluralism as an acculturation mode.
(p. 168) In organizations with high tolerance for ambiguity, sociocultural conflicts would be viewed as normal and potentially useful rather than as dysfunctional and to be avoided.
(p. 176) In transitional assimilationist-oriented organizations, cultural distance will be inversely related to positive member career outcomes.
(p. 178) When a group has held a dominant position in a social system over a long period of time, members of the group experience psychological discomfort when the percentage of minority group members exceeds about 20%.
(p. 193) For minorities in predominantly majority settings, the time and energy that is used to establish legitimacy could be more productively used to solve organizational problems.
(p. 51) Identity development among Black people has five stages:
1. Preencounter: Black people reject Black heritage and define themselves in terms of White culture
2. Encounter: Black people seek identification with Black culture
3. Immersion/emersion: Black people have complete identification with Black culture and hostility toward Whites
4. Internalization: Black people become comfortable with Black identity; anger leaves and racism is transcended
5. Internationalization/commitment: Black people become behaviorally active in fighting racism.
(p. 213) On a practical level, standardization in the bureaucratic sense often translates into an inflexible system that responds unfavorably to anything beyond the ordinary. It is rooted in the bureaucratic principles of:
- division of labor
- impersonality
- separation of job and jobholder
- emphasis on written rules and regulation
(p. 229) ⭐ An organization which simply contains many different culture groups is a plural organization. An organization is multicultural only if it values this diversity.
(p. 237) Most experts agree that education is a crucial first step; however, it is important to recognize that it has limitations as an organization change tool and should not be used in isolation. It is also important to approach training as an ongoing education process rather than a one-shot seminar.
(p. 241) To measure the impact of diversity and its management in organization, apply a stage model to evaluation:
- Stage 1: Affective outcomes of individuals should be evaluated:
  - career satisfaction
  - job involvement
  - organizational commitment
  - attitude changes
- Stage 2: Individual achievement measures should be measured:
  - intergroup differences in performance ratings
  - promotion rates
  - compensation
- Stage 3: Organizational performance indicators should be addressed:
  - work quality
  - turnover
  - productivity
  - absenteeism
- Stage 4: Market share and profitability should be examined as long-term measures of effectiveness.
(p. 243) Tools for organizational transformation
(p. 249) View affirmative action as a method to address the disadvantages that members of out-groups have due to a combination of ethnocentrism and unequal power distribution. It compensates for the existing discrimination.
(p. 250) Affirmative action in practice fundamentally means the explicit use of a person’s group identity as a criterion in making selection decisions. Candidates of underrepresented groups are selected in preference to those from overrepresented groups.
(p. 251) ⭐ Redefine the concept of equal opportunity to consider the total life history of a person as relevant in defining opportunity, rather than just the moment at hand.
(p. 252) Affirmative action has a downside for both majority and minority group members:
- Majority group members have to sacrifice some opportunities due to the current imbalance of opportunity
- Members of minority groups must overcome the assumption by many that they were selected only because of their identity and not because of their talent.
(p. 258) Experts on conflict management have noted that a certain amount of interpersonal conflict is inevitable and perhaps even healthy in organizations. However, conflict becomes destructive when it is excessive, not well managed, or rooted in struggles for power rather than the differentiation of ideas.
(p. 260) ⭐ A breakthrough for many organizations will be achieved by the simple mechanism of bringing discussion about group differences out in the open.

#68: The Psychology of Money

(p. xi) ⭐ A genius is the person who can do the average thing when everyone else is losing their mind.
(p. 33) The more extreme the outcome, the less likely you can apply its lessons to your own life, because the more likely the outcome was influenced by extreme ends of luck or risk.
(p. 41) Happiness is just results minus expectations.
(p. 42) “Enough” is realizing that an insatiable appetite for more will push you to the point of regret.
(p. 83) The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, “I can do whatever I want today.”
(p. 85) Doing something you love on a schedule you can’t control can fell the same as doing something you hate.
(p. 106) One of the most powerful ways to increase your savings isn’t to raise your income. It’s to raise your humility.
(p. 139) The purpose of the margin of safety is to render the forecast unnecessary.
(p. 139) A margin of safety is the only effective way to navigate a world that is governed by odds, not certainties.
(p. 142) “For my own investments, I assume the future returns I’ll earn in my lifetime will be 30% lower than the historic average. So I save more than I would if I assumed the future will resemble the past. It’s my margin of safety.”
(p. 145) The biggest point of failure with money is a sole reliance on a paycheck to fund short-term spending needs, with no savings to create a gap between what you think your expenses are and what they might be in the future.
(p. 147) Long-term planning is harder than it seems because people’s goals and desires change over time.
(p. 152) Assuming you’ll be happy with a very low income, or choosing to work endless hours in pursuit of a high one, increases the odds that you’ll one day find yourself at a point of regret.
(p. 171) Financial bubbles do their damage when long-term investors playing one game start taking cues from those short-term traders playing another.
(p. 198) Where there is selection there is art.
(p. 216) True success is exiting some rat race to modulate one’s activities for peace of mind.
(p. 232) Expectations always move slower than facts.

#69: Mindset

(p. 11) Exceptional individuals have a special talent for identifying their strengths and weaknesses.
(p. 16) “I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures… I divide the world into the learners and nonlearners.
(p. 21) When you’re lying on your deathbed, one of the cool things to say is, “I really explored myself.” If you only go through life doing stuff that’s easy, shame on you.
(p. 24) “I’ll never forget the first time I heard myself say, ‘This is hard. This is fun.’ That’s the moment I knew I was changing mindsets.
(p. 25) Becoming is better than being.
(p. 37) You aren’t a failure until you start to blame.
(p. 41) No matter what your ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.
(p. 42) Nothing is harder than saying, “I gave it my all and it wasn’t good enough.”
(p. 52) “My defects are things I can work on!”
(p. 99) After every game or practice, if you walk off the field knowing that you gave everything you had, you will always be a winner.
(p. 127) True self-confidence is the courage to be open, to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source.
(p. 127) If we’re managing good people who are clearly eating themselves up over an error, our job is to help them through it.
(p. 130) Attack elitism.
(p. 137) ⭐ With the right kinds of feedback even adults can be motivated to choose challenging tasks and confront their mistakes.
(p. 137) Instead of just giving employees an award for the smartest idea or praise for a brilliant performance, give them praise for:
- taking initiative
- seeing a difficult task through
- struggling and learning something new
- being undaunted by a setback
- being open to acting on criticism
- not needing constant praise!
(p. 137) If businesses don’t play a role in developing a mature and growth-minded workforce, where will the leaders of the future come from?
(p. 141) Everyone, of whatever age and circumstance, is capable of self-transformation.
(p. 148) “Tout comprendre, c’est tout pardonner.” (To understand all is to forgive all)
- Note that this can be carried too far, but it’s a good place to start.
(p. 153) Mind reading instead of communicating inevitably backfires.
(p. 155) There is no “they lived happily ever after,” it’s more like “they worked happily ever after.”
(p. 163) The whole point of marriage is to encourage your partner’s development and have them encourage yours.
(p. 166) Shy people worry that others will bring them down.
(p. 166) Shyness harms the social interactions of people with the fixed mindset but does not harm the social relations of people with the growth mindset.
(p. 179) The best thing parents can do is teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, seek new strategies, and keep on learning.
(p. 180) Praise the work put in.
(p. 182) What we should say when children complete a task (e.g. a math problem) quickly and perfectly is: “Whoops. I guess that was too easy. I apologize for wasting your time. Let’s do something you can really learn from.”
(p. 189) ⭐ Don’t judge. Teach. It’s a learning process.
(p. 210) You have to apply yourself each day to becoming a little better. By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better.
(p. 210) “Did I win? Did I lose?” Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort? If so, you may be outscored but you will never lose.
(p. 216) If a student has tried hard and made little or not progress, we can of course appreciate their effort, but we should never be content with effort that is yielding no benefits.
- We need to figure out why an effort is not effective and guide kids toward other strategies and resources that can help them resume learning.
(p. 217) We as educators must take seriously our responsibility to create growth-mindset-friendly environments, where people:
- feel safe from judgement
- understand that we believe in their potential to grow
- know that we are totally dedicated to collaborating with them on their learning
(p. 217) In truth, we’re all a mixture of growth mindset and fixed mindset. Sometimes we’re in one mindset and sometimes we’re in the other. Our task is to understand what triggers our fixed mindset.
(p. 222) Having innate talent is not a goal. Expanding skills and knowledge is.
(p. 229) ⭐ Nobody gets used to feeling dumb.
(p. 235) It’s not easy to just let go of something that has felt like your “self” for many years and that has given you your route to self-esteem.
(p. 242) Many people with the fixed mindset understand that their cloak of specialness was really a suit of armor they built to feel safe, strong, and worthy. While it may have protected them early on, later it constricted their growth, sent them into self-defeating battles, and cut them off from satisfying, mutual relationships.
(p. 248) Learn to separate your needs and desires from your children. For example, you may have “needed” a daughter who was number one in everything, but your daughter needed something else: acceptance from your parents and freedom yo grow.
(p. 254) When people change to a growth mindset, they change from a judge-and-be-judged framework to a learn-and-help-learn framework.
(p. 262) Daily questions:
- What are the opportunities for learning and growth today?
  - For myself?
  - For the people around me?
- As you think of opportunities, form a plan. “When, where and how will I embark on my plan?”
- As you encounter the inevitable obstacles and setbacks, form a new plan. “When, where and how will I act on my new plan?”
- When you succeed, ask yourself: “What do I have to do to maintain and continue the growth?”
(p. 263) Nigel Holmes' Fixed vs. Growth mindset diagram

C’est la tête qui décide! -Rémi

#70: Learned Optimism

(p. 4) The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault.
(p. 7) Our thoughts are not merely reactions to events; they change what ensues.
(p. 7) Pessimistic prophecies are self-fulfilling.
(p. 8) Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last 20 years is that individuals can change the way they think.
(p. 15) ⭐ See events as successes or failures of personal control.
(p. 72) Love comes rarely in life, and if you waste your life mooning over its all too ordinary absence, you are bringing on your own depression. You are living under a tyranny of shoulds. Stop ‘should-ing’ on yourself!
(p. 74) Emotion comes directly from what we think:
- Think “I am in danger” and you feel anxiety.
- Think “I am being trespassed against” and you feel danger.
- Think “Loss” and you feel sadness.
(p. 75) How you think about your problems, including depression itself, will either relieve depression or aggravate it.
(p. 75) If your explanatory style is optimistic, your depression will be halted.
(p. 77) There is one particularly self-defeating way to think: making personal, permanent and pervasive explanations for bad events. People who have this most pessimistic of all styles are likely, once they fail, to have the symptoms of learned helplessness for a long time and across many endeavours, and to lose self-esteem.
(p. 78) A recipe for severe depression is preexisting pessimism encountering failure.
(p. 81) Although drugs and cognitive therapy both relieve depression, they work in quite different ways. Drugs seem to be activators, they push the patient up and out, but they do not make the world look any brighter. Cognitive therapy changes the way you look at things, and this new, optimistic style gets you up and around.
(p. 87) People who believe themselves stupid, rather than uneducated, don’t take action to improve their minds.
(p. 88) The belief in self-improvement is a prophecy just as self-fulfilling as the old belief that character could not be changed.
(p. 89) What we consciously think is what mainly determines how we feel.
(p. 104) Optimism matters because is produces persistence.
(p. 201) Human ethology is a branch of biology that deals with observing people in the natural environment and noting in great detail what they do.
(p. 211, 217) ABCDE:
- Adversity
- Belief
- Consequences
- Disputation
- Energization
(p. 221) The most convincing way of disputing a negative belief is to show that it is factually incorrect.
(p. 234) Childhood pessimism is the parent of adult pessimism.
(p. 258) It is crucial to learn an applicant’s optimism level and fit him into the niche in which they can be most effective. [Some fields are better for optimists, and other for pessimisms, see written notes p. 11-12 for examples)
(p. 259) ⭐ Adversity is just the beginning of a challenging sequence that often leads to success.
(p. 259) The first thing we do when we encounter adversity is try to explain it. The explanations with which we interpret adversity to ourselves critically affect what we do next.
(p. 286) The epidemic of depression stems from the much-noted rise in individualism and the decline in the commitment to the common good.
(p. 292) You can choose to use optimism when you judge that less depression, or more achievement, or better health is the issue. But you can also choose not to use it, when you judge that clear sight or owning up is called for.
(p. 295) How is it possible for a depressed person both to believe he is to blame for the tragedies in his life and to believe he is helpless?

#71: The Necessary Revolution

(p. 34) During a period of expansion, two parallel realities develop, one inside the bubble and one outside. The more the bubble grows, the more people are drawn into its powerful reinforcing beliefs and perceptions. Eventually, those inside the bubble become so absorbed by their reality that they literally can no longer understand the point of view of those outside.
(p. 38) A core principle of a regenerative society is that life creates conditions for life.
(p. 46) If you want to teach people a new way of thinking, don’t bother to teach them. Instead, give them a tool, the use of which will lead to new ways of thinking.
(p. 49) A common reason for the shortfall of successful collaboration is the return of well-established bad habits that eventually take over, such as:
- avoiding conflict
- launching into debates that merely reinforce previously held views
(p. 76) ⭐ How we make our decisions is as important as the decisions themselves.
(p. 115) The path to full integration of sustainability into the organization’s strategy and purpose (1 -> 2 is reactive, 3 -> 4 is pro-active. The most significant jump is to move beyond stage 3):
1. Non-compliance
2. Compliance
  - Regulatory demands / enforcement
  - Public pressure
3. Beyond compliance
  - Eco-efficiencies
  - Regulatory threat
  - PR crisis
4. Integrated strategy
  - Business opportunities
  - Risk management
5. Purpose / Mission
  - Align with core values
(p. 120) The four elements of shareholder value:
- (Internal-Today) Cost & risk reduction
- (External-Today) Regulation and legitimacy
- (Internal-Tomorrow) Innovation and repositioning
- (External-Tomorrow) Growth path and trajectory
(p. 122) The Sustainable Value Framework, which goes into more details than the four elements listed above: image
(p. 132) If experimental and societal good come at the expense of a company’s financial performance, then it is not practicing a sustainable business strategy.
(p. 133) What’s good for business must be good for the environment and for people worldwide or you are not moving toward sustainable growth.
(p. 171) Give a man a fish and he will be fed; Teach him how to fish and he will feed himself; Give him a fishing business and he will overfish.
(p. 174) The iceberg of ways of explaining reality (from surface to deeper, increased leverage and opportunity for learning):
- Events (React, above surface)
  - “What just happened?”
- Patterns/trends (Anticipate, surface level)
  - “What’s been happening?”
  - “Have web been here or some place similar before?”
- Systemic structures (Design, below surface)
  - What forces are at play contributing to these patterns?
- Mental models (Transform, bottom iceberg)
  - What about our thinking allows this situation to persist?
(p. 184) Say your assumptions out loud (e.g. “We are assuming that there will be no tax on emissions, or that if there were, airlines would be exempt.") Then ask yourself, What would happen if that assumption turned out to be wrong?
(p. 184) Inquiry is a far more effective strategy than advocacy in expanding the boundaries of people’s thinking.
(p. 184) Questions for making the current boundaries in thinking explicit:
- What are the key factors in the problem we are facing?
- What is going on right now and what forces are likely to shape the future?
- Who are the key actors or decision makers in the system, including those with less authority?
- In what ways are we imposing arbitrary boundaries?
- Why do we assume that a certain person is the decision maker? Is it because the most obvious problem symptoms are in their organization?
- What is the implicit time horizon built into the current definition of the problem you’re facing? How would this shift if you doubled that time frame, or made it 10 or 20 years longer?
(p. 186) Help people get a feeling for challenging their own assumed boundaries and they will usually start doing it on their own more regularly.
(p. 212) Technical nutrients are materials that can circulate back into the creation or use of other products.
(p. 215) There is potential value in a waste stream that may have never been considered before.
(p. 236) Once 20% of a population begin moving in the same direction, they act as a tipping point for more change in that direction.
(p. 243) While it might be a natural instinct to try to convince those who show little interest in the questions you are pursuing, or to obsess about particular people or roles you feel are crucial, it is usually more effective to look for those who seem to understand the importance of the issue right away. Look for those with whom you sense “a connection”, and who are willing to “go deeper.”
(p. 245) Make your own concerns and aspirations clear and come to learn, rather than to advocate or sell your ideas. The person with whom you are about to talk could really be a teacher for you.
(p. 255) When teams or working groups get stuck in unproductive conversations, it is because members have moved up their ladder of inference and cannot get back down:
- I take actions based on my beliefs
- I adopt beliefs about the world (note: our beliefs affect what data we select next time)
- I draw conclusions
- I make assumptions based on the meaning I added
- I add meaning (cultural and personal)
- I select data based from what I observe (and my beliefs)
- Observable data and experiences, as would be recorded by a camera.
(p. 268) Your ability to foster commitment will never be greater than your own commitment. The key in fostering shared commitment lies in connecting to what you care about and what the organization cares about, and gradually knitting the two together.
(p. 275) The work of innovators comes down to helping people recognize that seeing systems ultimately means seeing one another.
(p. 276) The Four Types of Conversational Action:
- Mover – Initiate a sequence of actions (provides direction)
- Opposer – Oppose an action (provides correction)
- Follower – Support an action (provides completion)
- Bystander – Observe, ask questions, make comments (provides perspective)
(p. 279) Stuck teams typically fall in one of these patterns:
- Yes-men: One or two powerful figures emerge, and the rest follow their lead without questioning
- Death by meeting: A few people do all the talking, transforming the rest of the group into disabled bystanders
- “What are we doing here?": No one takes a stand on an issue (i.e. no effective movers), so there is no clear path forward
- The debating society: People get stuck in “move-oppose” dynamics and rarely suspend or shift predetermined positions
(p. 286) No matter how difficult the design challenge, natural systems provide 3.5 billion years of experimentation we can draw on.
(p. 293) Fear cramps imagination: Change strategies based on reacting to threats limit the commitment, imagination, and collective intelligence needed for ongoing innovation.
(p. 297) Doing less harm differs from working to create what we truly seek. If a car is heading south, slowing does does not cause it to go north. No matter how “less bad” you are, it will not make you “good.”
(p. 324) It’s not what the vision is, it’s what the vision does: People and groups obsess about “getting the vision right,” but often miss the whole point of vision as an active force, not just a set of words.
(p. 326) Profit for a company is like oxygen for a person. You need it to survive. Unfortunately, most businesses operate as if their purpose is breathing.
(p. 332) At the end of the day, ask yourself, “How did our vision influence our actions?” If the answer is “It didn’t,” the vision is just words.
(p. 337) When managers and staff members are aligned, they aren’t working at cross-purposes. They’re working toward the same end but with different accountabilities and authorities, designed so all contributions have a tangible positive impact.
(p. 339) Organizations get the results they are designed for, and no more.
(p. 368) The opposite of fatalism is deep conviction in the power of personal choice.

#72: Dopamine Nation

(p. 41) Boredom is not just boring. It can also be terrifying. It forces us to come face-to-face with bigger questions of meaning and purpose. But boredom is also an opportunity for discovery and invention. It creates the space necessary for a new thought to form, without which we’re endlessly reacting to stimuli around us rather than allowing ourselves to be within our lived experiences.
(p. 43) “Many of my patients use drugs, prescribed or otherwise, to compensate for a basic lack of self-care, then attribute the costs to a mental illness, thus necessitating the need for more drugs. Hence poisons become vitamins.”
(p. 46) The reason we’re all so miserable may be because we’re working so hard to avoid being miserable.
(p. 50) Pleasure and pain work like a balance. The balance does not want to be tipped for very long to one side or another. Hence, every time the balance tips toward pleasure, powerful self-regulating mechanisms kick into action to bring it level again. These self-regulating mechanisms do not require conscious thought or an act of will. They just happen, like a reflex.
(p. 57) The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for its own safe, leads to anhedonia, which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind.
(p. On social media apps, the response of others is so capricious and unpredictable that the uncertainty of getting a “like” or some equivalent is as reinforcing as the “like” itself.
(p. 66) With prolonged and repeated exposure to pleasurable stimuli, our capacity to tolerate pain decreases, and our threshold for experiencing pleasure increases.
(p. 76) A month is usually the minimum amount of time it takes to reset the brain’s reward pathway.
(p. 82) Mindfulness is the ability to observe what our brain is doing while it’s doing it, without judgement. It demands that we see our thoughts and emotions as separate from us and yet, simultaneously, part of us. Reserving judgement is important to mindfulness because as soon as we start condemning what our brain is doing (“Eww!"), we stop being able to observe.
(p. 88)
- D = Data
- O = Objectives for using
- P = Problems related to use
- A = Abstinence
- M = Mindfulness
- I = Insight into our behaviors
- N = Next steps after a month of abstinence
- E = Experiment pleasure in many different forms
(p. 92) Three types of self-binding:
- Physical strategies (space)
- Chronological strategies (time)
- Categorical strategies (meaning)
(p. 107) For addicts, the drug becomes the reward when they succeed and the consolation prize when they fail.
(p. 112) Categorical self-binding fails when we inadvertently include a trigger in our list of acceptable activities.
(p. 118) Binding ourselves is a way to be free.
(p. 142) Try ending a hot shower with at least a minute of cold shower.
(p. 152) Our contemporary preoccupation with sex may be because it’s the last physical activity still widely practiced.
(p. 171) All my patients who have achieved long-term recovery have relied on truth-telling as critical for sustained mental and physical health.
(p. 176) Radical honesty:
- promotes awareness of our actions
- fosters intimate human connections
- leads to a truthful autobiography, which holds us accountable not just to our present but also to our future selves
- is contagious, and might even prevent the development of future addiction
(p. 181) “What would you be giving up if you stopped that behavior? What is one step you can take to change that behavior?”
(p. 184) Consuming leads to isolation and indifference, as the drug comes to replace the reward obtained from being in relationship with others.
(p. 187) ⭐ “I am responsible.”
(p. 193) “Hunger is a notification I can ignore.”
(p. 194) Truth-telling engenders a plenty mindset. Lying engenders a scarcity mindset.
(p. 210) To truly understand someone is to care for them.
(p. 215) Destructive shame:
1. Overconsumption
2. Shame
3. Lying
4. Isolation
5. (Go back to step 1) Overconsumption…
(p. 217) Prosocial shame:
1. Overconsumption
2. Shame
3. Radical honesty
4. Acceptance
5. Belonging and decreased consumption.
(p. 227) It is not our perfection but out willingness to work together to remedy our mistakes that creates the intimacy we crave.
(p. 233) We must be willing to move forward despite being uncertain of what lies ahead.
(p. 233) ⭐ We must have faith that actions today that seem to have no impact in the present moment are in fact accumulating in a positive direction, which will be revealed to us only at some unknown time in the future.

#73: Ce que vous avez à dire n’intéresse personne

(p. 9) Malgré les machines, malgré les technologies et l’intelligence artificielle, notre société demeure encore un monde où des gens parlent à des gens.
(p. 16) Ce que vous avez à dire n’intéresse personne, mais les gens sont contents de vous voir.
(p. 22) Une décision est un mélange d’influences qui s’entremêlent. C’est un processus intime.
(p. 23) Pitcher, c’est:
- répondre à un besoin
- combler un manque
- faire écho à une motivation
(p. 27) On remplit un besoin d’autoactualisation en aidant les gens à s’améliorer, se réinventer et évoluer.
(p. 36) Un pitch est un parcours:
1. latence
2. préachat
3. achat
4. post-achat (latence…)
(p. 37) Typiquement, on s’appuie sur nos croyances acquises en période de latence pour circonscrire notre choix à quelques marques seulement.
(p. 39) ⭐ Les gens se souviennent plus de la fin d’une expérience que du début de cette expérience.
(p. 43) Le processus décisionnel (lien)
(p. 49)
- Pouvoir important, intérêt fort -> Engager
- Pouvoir important, intérêt faible -> Satisfaire
- Pouvoir faible, intérêt fort -> Informer
- Pouvoir faible, intérêt faible -> Surveiller
(p. 53) Les 7 phases de préoccupation (chronologiquement):
1. “Le changement ne me concerne pas.” -> Vous devez déstabiliser
2. “Comment le changement va-t-il m’affecter?” -> Vous devez rassurer
3. “Est-ce que l’entreprise sera capable d’implanter le changement?” -> Expliquez les raisons qui poussent l’organisation à implanter ce changement et impliquez les intervenants à tous les niveaux hiérarchiques pour démontrer la volonté de voir ce changement s’opérer.
4. “Comment ce changement va-t-il être mis en place?” -> Incluez les gens qui ont décidé d’embarquer avec vous.
5. “Est-ce que j’aurai les compétences nécessaires?” -> Vous devez accompagner et former.
6. “Est-ce que tout le monde va collaborer?” -> Partagez les bons coups de l’implémentation avec tout le monde. Donnez tous les arguments et outils nécessaires aux champions pour embarquer leurs collègues.
7. “Comment peut-on s’assurer que ça dure?” -> De manière désintéressée, valoriser l’engouement et encourager ceux qui le désirent à apporter des pistes d’amélioration au projet.
(p. 59) Les 8 dimensions d’une culture de groupe:
1. Communication: explicite (va droit au but) ou implicite?
2. Critique négative: directe ou indirecte?
3. Persuasion: déductive ou inductive?
4. Leadership: égalitaire ou hiérarchique?
5. Décision: consensuelle ou hiérarchique?
6. Confiance: système ou relation?
7. Désaccord: confrontation ou évitement?
8. Planification: structurée ou flexible?
(p. 63) En pitch comme dans tout processus d’achat (ou de choix), les gens choisissent des gens.
(p. 66) La star, c’est l’auditoire.
(p. 69) Vous ne trouverez pas de démonstration rationnelle universelle qui ait autant de sens pour vous et pour vos détracteurs.
(p. 74) Une histoire originale, ça n’existe pas; misez sur l’efficacité.
(p. 75) Vous ne devez pas faire pitié: vous devez faire envie. Les gens doivent avoir envie de vous suivre, pas de vous aider.
(p. 79) Le trio “mission, vision, valeurs” est un outil qui ne sert pas à pitcher, mais à : - clarifier la destination choisie par des dirigeants - harmoniser la culture d’une organisation - définir des règles d’engagement et de savoir vivre
(p. 79) Enregistrez-vous avec votre téléphone et racontez votre histoire. Écoutez-la et/ou faites-la écouter à vos collègues.
(p. 84) Histoire à la méthode Pixar:
- Il était une fois, le contexte dans lequel vit votre client ou le consommateur
- Chaque jour, c’est la menace, la frustration qui monte, la pression qui s’exerce, le danger qui plane
- Puis un jour, on passe de la menace à un problème réel, qu’il faut résoudre
- À cause de ça, la conséquence du problème, le drame qui arrive
- C’est pourquoi, la solution inventée pour régler le problème
- Jusqu’à ce qu’enfin, le dénouement heureux, tout va bien
- Une fois votre histoire terminée, retirez les “Il était une fois…Chaque jour… etc.” et elle va se tenir toute seule.
(p. 86) Une bonne histoire, c’est une histoire qui nous paraît évidente, avec une structure connue.
(p. 87) Trouvez la fin avant de trouver le milieu de l’histoire. Une bonne fin est difficile à trouver, mieux vaut qu’elle fonctionne avant tout.
(p. 89) Dans un pitch, on cherche la cohérence entre quatre éléments:
- ambition: Elle doit vous dépasser. C’est une phrase qui pourrait commencer par “nous voulons.”
- conviction: Une phrase commençant par “Nous pensons que”
- crédibilité: Une phrase qui peut commencer par “d’ailleurs”
- crédo: une phrase simple (simpliste) qui résume parfaitement votre ambition, e.g. “Learning is Winning.” C’est ce que vous allez répéter tout le temps, à tout le monde.
(p. 92) C’est la constance qui compte: répétez plusieurs fois la même chose.
(p. 112) Montrez les problèmes du plus simple au plus complexe, pour que le client novice s’en tienne aux premiers arguments, et que l’expert puisse connaître les détails techniques. Inutile d’ennuyer tout le monde avec des détails techniques au début de la démo.
(p. 114) Un argument sert à:
- déterminer une action
- déterminer la vérité ou la fausseté d’une croyance
- modifier ou justifier une opinion ou une action
(p. 116) Critères de validation d’un argument:
- Efficacité: Existe-t-il une meilleure option que celle que je propose?
- Pertinence: Est-il vraiment pertinent de vouloir résoudre le problème initial?
- Faisabilité: Est-ce que la solution que je propose est toujours réalisable, quels que soient les scénarios?
- Moralité: Est-ce vraiment à moi de régler ce problème-là? Je dois démontrer que le problème est digne d’un intérêt désintéressé
(p. 117) Types d’arguments:
- logique: un enchaînement rationnel de causes
- analogique: un rapprochement de deux situations pour aider à comparer
- d’expérience: basé sur l’observation de faits vécus
- d’autorité: vient d’un expert (ou groupe d’experts) reconnus
- de valeur: s’appuie sur des valeurs communes pour faire passer le message
(p. 124) Techniques de sophismes:
- L’appel à l’émotion
- Le faux dilemme: deux options fortes plutôt que toutes les possibilités
- L’argument de modération: l’opposé du faux dilemme
- “Moving the goal post”: changer la nature du débat
- L’incrédulité: rejeter une possibilité, cat elle n’est pas comprise
- Le raisonnement fallacieux: rejeter un argument contenant une erreur ou mal présenté
- Ad honinem: attaquer le passé ou les valeurs de l’opposant
- L’épouvantail: exagérer l’argument de l’autre pour le réfuter
(p. 129) ⭐ Ce qui compte, c’est d’apprendre, pas de gagner ou de perdre.
(p. 130) En souriant face aux remarques les plus brutales, vous démontrez votre solidité intérieure.
(p. 131) L’ouverture d’esprit est à l’inverse de la préparation.
(p. 146) Vous voulez que votre client vous considère fort, rassurant, connaissant, et généreux, car il aura tendance à vous choisir pour cela.
(p. 148) Prévoir de finir plus tôt, c’est le meilleur moyen de finir à l’heure:
- Préparer 45 minutes pour une présentation d’une heure
- Préparer 20 minutes pour une présentation de 30 minutes
(p. 149) N’hésitez pas à vous mettre à 4 pattes pour passer en-dessous d’un bureau afin de vous retrouver au centre de l’arène. Cela vous rapprochera de votre client.
(p. 151) Une question est toujours une bonne question. Ayez l’air passionné par la question, surtout si la réponse est évidente.
(p. 152)
- Unité de temps: “Une semaine pour penser à notre proposition, ça vous convient?”
- Unité de lieu: “On se revoit ici ou bien on organise un meeting virtuel?”
- Unité d’action: “C’est moi qui vais vous rappeler pour les prochaines étapes, ça vous va?”
(p. 152) En quittant les lieux rapidement, vous montrez que vous êtes attendu ailleurs, ou du moins occupé, bref que vos affaires vont bien. Vous n’aurez pas de bravo, pas de félicitations, pas de contrat signé aujourd’hui, rien. Partez sans rien attendre.
(p. 153) ⭐ Conseil universel: préparez-vous à “faire plus court.”
(p. 156) Dans la préparation de votre présentation, n’ouvrez aucun logiciel au départ. Cela va vous faire perdre un temps fou. Commencez par une organisation visuelle des idées avec des Post-its et un crayon.
(p. 156) Organisation d’une présentation efficace:
- Intro
- Chapitre 1
  - 1.1
  - 1.2
  - 1.3
- Chapitre 2
  - 2.1
  - 2.2
  - 2.3
- Chapitre 3
  - 3.1
  - 3.2
  - 3.3
- Conclusion
- Rappel 1
- Rappel 2
- Rappel 3
(p. 159) Limitez-vous à deux modèles de diapos:
- Fonds noirs (titres et sections)
- Fonds blancs (contenus)
(p. 159) Chaque diapo est une affiche publicitaire. Elle doit être mémorable même lorsqu’imprimée aussi petite que possible.
(p. 160) ⭐ Pas de bullet points dans les diapos! Ils vous font perdre le contrôle sur l’attention de votre auditoire.
(p. 163) Une vidéo dans une présentation est acceptable, mais:
- Jamais avant vous. Diffusez la vidéo et partez
- Jamais plus de 3 minutes
(p. 166) ⭐ “Prenez mes idées. J’en aurai d’autres.” Partagez, donnez, n’attendez rien en retour.
(p. 168) Votre ennemi, c’est le temps, les coûts cachés, les opportunités d’affaires perdues, le manque d’innovation, l’habitude…
- Votre ennemi n’est jamais votre concurrent. En vous attaquant à la compétition, vous envoyez le mauvais message.
(p. 180) L’énergie que vous dépensez dans un “non mais” est la même que celle que vous pourriez investir dans un “oui et.”
(p. 184) Si vous n’êtes pas sûr d’être drôle, contentez-vous d’être poli. Ça, au moins, c’est universel.
(p. 186) Ne montez pas sur scène avec une question toute prête pour votre auditoire. C’est un risque inutile. Présentez une statistique à la place. Imaginez que vous n’obtenez pas le résultat attendu, vous venez de:
- briser la logique de votre présentation
- vous remplir d’incertitude
- vous ridiculiser devant votre public
(p. 187) Ne proposez jamais de période de questions face à un public. C’est quêter une attention supplémentaire, glouton. Si vous avez bien fait votre boulout, les gens n’auront pas de questions. À la place:
- Donnez une adresse courriel où vous répondrez aux questions
- Donnez rendez-vous, e.g. “je serai dans la cafétaria jusqu’à 13h.”
- Donnez votre LinkedIn pour garder contact
(p. 194) Avant même de rentrer dans les détails techniques, un feedback est d’abord une forme de reconnaissance`en lui donnant du temps, vous donnez de l’importance à votre “athlète.”
(p. 196) Vous ne pouvez donner de feedback à quelqu’un que si vous comptez vous impliquer dans l’amélioration de cette personne.
(p. 196) N’acceptez aucune remarque de gens qui ne font que “passer”: ils ne vont savoir que vous insécuriser, ou vous faire perdre votre temps. Seuls ceux qui se sont jeté dans l’arène avec vous méritent le droit de donner leur opinion sur ce que vous faites.
(p. 202) Soyez nuls à chier. À force d’avoir du fun, vous allez devenir Nirvana.

#74: The Power of No

(p. 12) Saying no and being negative are two very different things:
- Negativity is a passive and enduring state.
- ‘No’ is an active choice in a specific moment. We have weighed up our options and decided that another course of action is right for us.
(p. 25) When making a big decision, look at it in terms of:
- Internal factors:
  - Strengths
  - Weaknesses
- External factors:
  - Opportunities
  - Threats
(p. 28) Finding it hard to say no can be part of a broader hesitancy about expressing the full range of our emotions with honesty and openness.
(p. 32) If someone tells you to sacrifice your opinion in favor of general harmony, their own motivation is unlikely to be very positive.
(p. 43) Once you get used to setting boundaries, the people you spend time with will learn that you really mean what you say.
(p. 49) If you have a sinking feeling (e.g. about a job) and you know it’s not just a blip, saying no to the status quo is essential for your happiness, even if it upsets the people around you at the time.
(p. 54) Limit your commitment by saying something like “I can help at the BBQ, but I have to leave at 8 PM.” This shows you want to help, but your availability is limited.
(p. 54) You don’t need to reel off a list of excuses when you say no – and in fact, the more reasons you give, the less convincing you are likely to sound.
(p. 61) If you don’t want to say yes, you don’t have to.
(p. 61) By avoiding “sorry” or “I can’t”, you’ll show that you won’t be talked out of your “no”.
(p. 65) It’s precisely when you’re under pressure that self-care is most important.
(p. 65) When you’re under pressure, focus on what must be done, and say no to tasks others can handle. Once you start letting go, you’ll be amazed at how many tasks fall into this category.
(p. 72) You are not responsible for other people’s choices.
(p. 107) If you’re given a big project, break it into manageable chunks. Not only is each smaller task easier to get done, but you may also be able to delegate them, and track progress without constantly having to look at the entire project as a whole.
(p. 107) If your manager tries to give you extra work when you’re already at full capacity, use questions such as “I won’t have time to finish my current jobs if I take this on as well: which one are you happy to wait longer for?” Your manager is then obliged to take responsibility for the changed workload.
(p. 128) Putting yourself first by using “I…” statements is really helpful in difficult conversations. E.g:
- “I felt embarrassed when you laughed at me in front of the others.”
- ^ that is more constructive and less likely to provoke a defensive reaction than:
- “You embarrassed me in front of the others.”
(p. 139) A good friendship is one where you trust each other, where being together lifts you both up.
(p. 139) A toxic friendship is one where you feel worse when you’re together.
(p. 148) When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.

#75: Why Work Sucks and How to Fix It

(p. 3) A ROWE is a Results-Only Work Environment. In a ROWE, you can literally do whatever you want whenever you want as long as your work is getting done.
(p. 13) We all labor under a myth: $$\text{Time} + \text{Physical presence} = \text{Results}$$
(p. 16) Knowledge work requires:
- fluidity: Ideas can happen anytime, not just between 8 and 5
- concentration: Being rested and engaged is more important than being on the clock
- creativity: You’re either on or you’re not on, regardless of the hour.
(p. 16)
- How long does it take to answer a colleague’s question?
- How long does it take to have insight about the marketplace?
(p. 17) Presenteeism: Any time you’re physically present and putting in time, but you’re not really doing your job. Your body is in the building, your status is online, but your mind is somewhere else.
(p. 18) If you are adding value to the company, if you are performing, why are you punished by having to fill your time?
(p. 19) Presenteeism happens because the way we measure work performance is wrong.
(p. 22) Perception is not reality.
(p. 23) There is the job you do and the job you appear to be doing:
- Job: Your tasks and responsibilities
- Work: Unwritten and unspoken rules you have to play by
(p. 30) Sludge is the negative commentary that occurs naturally in a workplace and is based on (and enforces) outdated beliefs about time and work.
(p. 31) When we judge one another, we’re championing a system that distracts us from what really matters (results) and focuses our energy on what doesn’t (time and place)
(p. 32) If Sludge is the sound of people feeling out of control, for management it’s also an excellent means of control.
(p. 33) Pathological cultures would rather have order than excellence.
(p. 38) If you don’t want to be Sludged by your coworkers, don’t Sludge them.
(p. 43) Flexible work arrangement are the symptom of a lack of trust in employees.
(p. 44) ⭐ The only thing worse than complete mistrust is mistrust masquerading as trust.
(p. 46) If you try to train people to behave differently without addressing the underlying culture, you will be lost. The unwritten rules will trump the written rules every time.
(p. 47) One of the things that makes Sludge so dangerous is that it seems so small.
(p. 49) Different kinds of Sludge:
- Sludge Anticipation: the mental preparation we all go through if we are expecting a piece of Sludge
- Sludge Justification: excuses to defend ourselves against Sludge
- Back Sludge or Sludge Conspiracy
(p. 50) Sludge Anticipation is what enables a culture of fear.
(p. 53) In its sick, twisted way, Sludge brings people together. This is old-fashioned tribalism.
(p. 53) When you create a Sludge Conspiracy, you’re really saying, “We play by the rules. We’re good workers. That person over there is not.”
(p. 53) When we Sludge in groups, we are also creating a public mask for our own deficiencies.
- You don’t have to be competent if you can make someone else look incompetent.
- You don’t have to have ideas if you can make someone else look stupid.
(p. 55) Getting rid of Sludge is the first crucial step towards creating a ROWE.
(p. 56) Judge people on their performance, on their ability to meet goals. Take time and place out of the equation.
(p. 56) The great thing about Sludge Justification is that instead of trying to prove you’re dedicated, simply and sincerely ask “Is there anything you need?” or “Anything I can help you with?”
- The issue shifts from your personal life to whether that person specifically needs you right now. It exposes their poor planning.
(p. 58) The person who is mad at you because you weren’t in your cube at 9 better have a very good reason.
(p. 69) “Flexible schedule” is an oxymoron.
(p. 71) The employer’s job is to create very clear goals and expectations, on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Then it’s up to the employee, with the coaching and guidance of management, to meet those goals and expectations.
(p. 72) ⭐ At the halfway point in your week/project/day, ask “Am I doing what I need to do to meet my goals?” If the answer is yes, then you’re on track. If not, start asking “What do I need to do?”
(p. 77) Trying to create technical change for what is a social problem is usually a disaster.
(p. 80) Real change usually involves loss.
(p. 89) The 13 Guideposts of ROWE:
1. People at all levels stop doing any activity that is a waste of their time, the customer’s time, of the company’s time.
2. Employees have the freedom to work any way they want.
3. Every day feels like Saturday.
4. People have an unlimited amount of “paid time off” as long as the work gets done.
5. ⭐ Work isn’t a place you go – it’s something you do.
6. Arriving at the workplace at 2:00pm is not late. Leaving the workplace at 2:00pm is not early.
7. Nobody talks about how many hours they work.
8. 🌶️ Every meeting is optional
9. It’s ok to grocery shop on a Wednesday morning, catch a movie on a Tuesday afternoon, or take a nap on a Thursday afternoon.
10. There are no work schedules.
11. Nobody feels guilty, overworked, or stressed-out.
12. There aren’t any last-minute fire drills.
13. There is no judgement about how you spend your time.
(p. 91) What does that say about your meeting’s effectiveness and usefulness if people only come because of your title or because it says “mandatory” in the invite? Isn’t there a better way of transmitting that information other than having people sit around a conference room table and listening to people talk?
(p. 94) Just because you can’t be late doesn’t mean you can’t be lame.
(p. 95) Stop playing games with yourself and your time (now I’m working, now I’m not working) and instead focus on what needs to get done.
(p. 96) Managers can have an especially difficult time not Sludging based on the clock because keeping an eye on people (and the clock) was traditionally part of their job.
(p. 98) When it comes to Sludge no one can stay on their high horse for long.
(p. 102) What if someone needs you when you’re at the movies?
- You can’t always reach people in a traditional work environment. Does it matter if someone is grocery shopping or at a meeting? Either way they’re booked.
(p. 109) When managers move their chess pieces around they are missing out on what those chess pieces might be able to contribute to the conversation about what needs to get done.
(p. 112) So what if someone is quadruple booked? You used to think that person was important. But now you look at that person and wonder what kind of value could they possibly be adding?
(p. 119) If work is something you do and not a place you go, you can’t hide from your job anymore.
(p. 119) In a ROWE you make the most of every interaction because you have to. You can’t count on just stopping by. You can’t waste people’s time like you used to. Interactions become more efficient.
(p. 121) You’re never allowed to use ROWE as an excuse not to do your job.
(p. 122) When a company commits to ROWE, it is committing itself to results, but it is also committing itself to unprecedented levels of trust.
(p. 122) Meeting is not an inherent form of work. A meeting is only work if work gets done because of a meeting.
(p. 123) In a ROWE you can question weekly staff meetings. You can question mandatory training. You are free and encouraged to make sure the way you spend your time is productive.
(p. 123) The point of “every meeting is optional” is to give people the power and the opportunity to have a discussion about value.
(p. 125) When you hold a meeting in a ROWE, you have to be very specific about:
- what the meeting is for
- what people are specifically expected to contribute
- what people are going to take away from the meeting
- how all of this helps drive concrete, articulated results
(p. 125) One of the ironies of a ROWE is that when people have less time with one another they make those interactions more purposeful and meaningful.
(p. 128) Without clear goals and expectations, a ROWE will break down.
(p. 129) One of the dangers of a ROWE is that people try extra hard to respect one another’s time, which can lead to being overly respectful.
- Often people solve that problem by putting together a preference list for how they like to be reached.
(p. 141) Jokes about time – even really, really funny ones – erode trust.
(p. 142) Just as it’s not okay to say something racist of sexist in a traditional workplace, judging people’s time is no longer socially acceptable.
(p. 146) Bragging about hours is really championing presenteeism.
(p. 163) When talking about work-life balance issues, stop using the work “flexibility” and start using the word “control”.
(p. 163) Stop using the words “early/late” and antiquated terms like “by the end of business today.”
(p. 172) You lose your credibility when you bring HR to have tough conversations. When your employees aren’t performing, talk to them.
(p. 174) Sending out an email “letting” people take time off for a project well done is another way to make people feel like children. It reinforces the fact that you have control over their time and they don’t. Let people make this decision themselves.

#76: Death by Meeting

(p. 16) ⭐ The company’s culture comes to mirror its meetings.
(p. 122) The leader of the group needs to be looking for places where people have different opinions but aren’t necessarily putting them out there. They need to be constantly mining for buried conflict.
(p. 123) Consensus is a horrible thing to focus on because it is usually not achievable.
(p. 123) Regardless of what position people originally took, once the decision is made, everyone supports it. That’s why it’s critical that no one hold anything back during the discussion.
(p. 124) Mine for conflict, regardless of what the clock says.
(p. 230) The only thing more painful than confronting an uncomfortable topic is pretending it doesn’t exist.
(p. 230) A leader can minimize the discomfort and maximize the likelihood that conflict will continue by interrupting the participants and reminding them that what they are doing is good.
(p. 243) Putting too many items on the agenda only dilutes the quality of the debate around the most critical ones.
(p. 254) Weekly Tactical Meeting Guide

#78: Comportement Organisationnel

(p. v) L’organisation est une création collective où les individus et les groupes ne se déterminent que par rapport à autrui.
(p. 20) Puisque l’édification de la réalité d’un individu dépend de lui, s’il veut changer son environnement, il faut que lui-même change.
(p. 21) Les individus ou groupes s’activent à maximiser leurs gains. Ils interpréteront leurs rôles et leurs objectifs de façon à veiller aux enjeux qui les concernent, d’où la naissance potentielle de conflits.
(p. 23) Selon le principe de rationalité limitée, les décideurs peuvent au mieux recourir aux solutions qui leurs paraissent les plus satisfaisantes (et non les meilleures), compte tenu des connaissances forcément limitées qu’ils ont d’un problème.
(p. 28) L'efficacité est l’atteinte des buts de l’entreprise. L'efficience est la satisfaction des besoins des individus.
(p. 32) Les plus précieux intrants et extrants des organisations sont constitués du capital intellectuel des employés
(p. 36) Si l’on connaît la probabilité que se donne un individu d’atteindre ses objectifs et d’obtenir une “récompense” subséquente qu’il valorise, il est possible de prévoir l’intensité de l’effort (sa motivation) qu’il déploiera pour atteindre ses objectifs.
(p. 37) La méthode expérimentale:
1. Observation
2. Hypothèse nouvelle
3. Vérification de l’hypothèse
4. Interprétation et explication
5. Généralisation et formulation d’une théorie
6. (Répéter b à e)
(p. 38) ⭐ Une bonne hypothèse doit être:
- adéquate
- vraisemblable
- vérifiable
(p. 41) Pour respecter la liberté des sujets de participer à une étude, un chercheur ne peut forcer des employés à remplir un questionnaire ou à participer à une expérience aux seules fins de recherche.
(p. 41) Le travail peut être vu comme:
- Une contrainte
- Un fardeau
- Une responsabilité
- Une contribution sociale
(p. 43) Les individus posent des actions qui produisent les conditions environnementales qui, en retour, affectent leur comportement.
(p. 43) ⭐ Le comportement organisationnel est une résultante de:
- les facteurs personnels
- les facteurs environnementaux
- la relation entre les facteurs personnels et environnementaux
(p. 58) L’environnement d’affaire des organisations est composé de:
- les fournisseurs
- les distributeurs
- les clients
- les concurrents
(p. 71) Le capital humain est constitué de toutes les compétences pertinentes faisant partie des ressources humaines d’une entreprise. Il devient l’investissement le plus précieux des firmes innovatrices.
(p. 71) Le capital relationnel consiste en la valeur qu’ajoutent les relations entre l’entreprise et ses parties prenantes (clients fidèles, fournisseurs fiables, etc.)
(p. 76) Les acteurs concernés par l’introduction des nouvelles technologies doivent être familiers avec:
- la gestion du changement
- l’apprentissage individuel et organisationnel auquel participent les TIC
- la dynamique des équipes (virtuelles ou autonomes)
- le leadership pour gérer le changement
- les modes de rémunération et de reconnaissance (étant donné les changements de rôles et de compétences)
- l’organisation du travail
- l’établissement de nouvelles structures
- le changement de culture de l’entreprise dû aux nouveaux modes de fonctionnement
- la prise de décision
(p. 77) Toutes les entreprises finissent par subir l’influence des aspects socioéthiques de leur environnement. Ce sont les critères de leur prospérité à long terme qui doivent être évalués.
(p. 80) Légitimité: La capacité d’une organisation de se faire reconnaître comme acceptable pour la société, tant dans ses objectifs que dans ses pratiques ou ses résultats. Cette capacité influence directement sa liberté d’action.
(p. 81) La légitimité se mérite et doit être entretenue, pour éviter de la perdre.
(p. 81) La gouvernance fait référence à la capacité d’une organisation de satisfaire les intérêts de la société dans son ensemble, grâce à ses choix économiques et au respect de valeurs sociales communes, sans lesquelles aucune société ne peut fonctionner normalement.
(p. 81) La responsabilité sociale des entreprises est l’application pratique des principes éthiques par lesquels l’organisation mérite sa légitimité.
(p. 82) Le triple bilan:
- profits (rentabilité économique)
- personnes (développement social)
- planète (protection de l’environnement)
(p. 87) Les individus doivent anticiper les besoins futurs de l’organisation et parfaire de nouvelles aptitudes qui concordent avec ces besoins.
(p. 90) La majorité des entreprises sont nationales et domestiques, et ce sont elles qui emploient le plus grand nombre de salariés.
(p. 90) La qualité est l’ensemble des caractéristiques d’un produit ou d’un service qui satisfait les besoins de leurs utilisateurs:
- la performance
- la durabilité
- l’esthétique
- la conformité aux standards établis
(p. 92) ⭐ Au 20e siècle, les organisations avaient une structure pyramidale. Au 21e siècle, la structure est en toile d’araignée.
(p. 112) La composition de l'attitude:
- croyances (composante cognitive)
- sentiments (aspect affectif)
- intention d’agir
(p. 112) Des attitudes générales ne permettent pas de prédire des comportements particuliers. Des attitudes spécifiques annoncent des comportements spécifiques.
(p. 112) Plus il s’écoule de temps entre la mesure de l’attitude et l’observation de certains comportements, plus il est probable qu’il n’y ait pas de rapport entre l’une et l’autre.
(p. 115) Les quatre réactions des employés quant à l’insatisfaction au travail:
- quitter l’organisation
- expression pour modifier la situation désagréable (en opposition avec “fuir la situation”)
- loyauté
- négligence
(p. 116) De nombreux chercheurs voient désormais l’expression comme une réaction très positive/constructive. Celui qui s’identifie à son organisation sera plus enclin à s’exprimer qu’à partir.
(p. 117) Le remplacement d’un employé coûte environ une fois son salaire annuel (et davantage pour des spécialistes)
(p. 118) Des employés heureux rendent les clients satisfaits. La satisfaction au travail prédispose l’employé à se montrer aimable avec le client.
(p. 118) Les employés satisfaits, étant moins susceptibles de quitter leur emploi, acquièrent de l’expérience, donnent un meilleur service. Les clients tissent des liens particuliers avec eux, ce qui les fidélise.
(p. 124) Les employés qui privilégient fortement l’engagement de continuité (ils croient qu’ils ont intérêt à demeurer dans l’organisation parce que le coût lié à leur départ serait trop élevé) donnent un rendement inférieur et sont moins susceptibles d’adopter des comportements associés à la citoyenneté organisationnelle.
(p. 125) ⭐ L’art de gérer l’engagement organisationnel de ses employés consiste à:
- augmenter leur engagement affectif
- stimuler modérément leur engagement moral
- maintenir leur engagement de continuité à un niveau aussi bas que possible
(p. 125) Les “menottes en or” sont efficaces pour diminuer le roulement, mais elles favorisent aussi l’engagement de continuité plutôt que l’engagement affectif.
(p. 126) ⭐ La loyauté des employés s’accroît si ces derniers sont tenus informés de ce qui se passe dans l’entreprise et qu’ils ont la possibilité d’interagir avec des collègues de l’ensemble de l’organisation.
(p. 126) ⭐ Faire confiance, c’est être convaincu qu’autrui (organisations ou personnes) ne nuira pas à nos intérêts.
(p. 127) Le contrat psychologique entre employeur et employé:
- L’employeur s’attend à ce que les employés:
  - effectuent les tâches pour lesquelles ils sont payés
  - respectent les collègues, les clients, les biens et la réputation de l’organisation
- Les employés s’attendent à:
  - l’équité dans les pratiques de l’organisation, notamment dans les différentes sortes de rétributions et de récompenses
  - une certaine autonomie
  - une sécurité d’emploi raisonnable
(p. 128) Un engagement de continuité de la part des employés est lié à la perception d’un contrat transactionnel, tandis qu’un engagement de type affectif (l’employé s’identifie et s’investit envers son organisation, il intériorise les objectifs de l’organisation) est associé à un contrat psychologique relationnel.
(p. 128) La citoyenneté organisationnelle a trait aux attitudes et comportements favorables d’un employé vis-à-vis son organisation et qui dépassent les exigences normales de son poste.
(p. 129) Des études montrent que les facteurs qui prédisent le mieux l’absentéisme sont:
- l’historique des absences des individus
- des politiques inexistantes sur cette conduite
- la perception que l’entreprise est tolérante, voire laxiste à propos des absences
(p. 131) La hiérarchie des valeurs d’une personne est stable et permanente.
(p. 133) Il n’y a pas de différence significative entre les générations, tant du point de vue des valeurs que des attitudes; c’est leur importance relative qui change.
(p. 133) Comme les valeurs sont des repères, les employés qui embrassent des valeurs assez différentes de celles de l’organisation ont tendance à prendre des décisions incompatibles avec les objectifs de celle-ci. Toutefois, des valeurs divergentes apportent des points de vue différents, voire des conflits constructifs.
(p. 136) Certains droits individuels s’opposent malheureusement à d’autres. Par exemple, le droit des actionnaires d’être informés des activités de l’entreprise peur entrer en conflit avec le droit d’un dirigeant à sa vie privée.
(p. 137) On se conforme aux lois alors qu’on adhère volontairement à l’éthique. L’éthique va donc au-delà de la législation qui a cours dans son environnement.
(p. 138) Rentabilité et comportement responsable ne sont pas incompatibles.
(p. 140) Trop de facteurs interviennent (e.g. la chance, des subordonnés particuliers, la situation, la culture de l’entreprise, etc.) pour que la personnalité seule puisse expliquer la réussite d’un leader.
(p. 142) Les cinq dimensions de la personnalité:
- fiabilité (“conscientiousness”)
- amabilité
- stabilité émotive
- ouverture à l’expérience
- extraversion
(p. 145) Le sentiment d’efficacité est la confiance que l’on a en ses capacités de mener à bien une tâche avec succès. Ce sentiment se divise en trois composantes:
- le niveau de performance que l’individu croit atteindre
- la force de ce sentiment ^
- la croyance que ce sentiment ^ peut être transféré d’une situation à une autre
(p. 150) On peut dégager 7 types de personnalités caractérisant des employés difficiles:
- l’agressif
- le compétitif
- le geignard
- l’apathique
- le complaisant
- le négatif
- le prétentieux
- l’indécis
(p. 150) Les types de leaders à tendance névrotique:
- le théâtrale (narcissique)
- le schizoïde (l’absent au manque d’intérêt)
- le compulsif (perfectionniste, dogmatique, indécis)
- le dépressif (au sentiment d’impuissance)
- le paranoïaque (méfiance excessive)
(p. 165) On tend à se souvenir de l’information qui va dans le sens de nos valeurs et de nos attitudes tout en ignorant celle qui ne leur correspond pas.
(p. 166) Adopter trop rapidement une théorie, c’est s’empêcher de voir ce qui s’est vraiment passé.
(p. 168) ⭐ Dans des situations conflictuelles, l’image négative que nous avons, et parfois cultivons, de nos adversaires nous permet de conserver une image positive de nous-mêmes.
(p. 174) ⭐ L'effet Pygmalion se produit lorsque les attentes que l’on a envers une personne l’incitent à agir d’une manière correspondant à ces attentes.
- Note: Le personnel est plus souvent victime d’un effet Pygmalion négatif (effet Golem) que d’un effet positif.
(p. 171) On peut attribuer un comportement à des facteurs internes chez la personne si (ou, inversement, facteurs externes si pas):
- le comportement est fréquent chez cette personne
- le comportement est fréquent chez cette personne dans d’autres situations
- le comportement n’est pas fréquent chez d’autres personnes dans des situations similaires
(p. 171) Exemples de:
- Facteurs internes:
  - compétences
  - motivation
- Facteurs externes:
  - environnement
  - autres personnes
  - chance
(p. 173) L'erreur de complaisance est la tendance d’une personne à attribuer systématiquement ses succès à des facteurs internes et ses échecs à des facteurs externes.
(p. 175) Une impression négative tend à être plus durable qu’une impression positive, car les caractéristiques défavorables sont plus facilement attribuées à la personne, alors que les caractéristiques positives sont plus souvent attribuées à la situation.
(p. 180) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ L'apprentissage est le changement relativement permanent d’un comportement qui résulte de l’acquisition de compétences.
(p. 190) Les différents obstacles à l’apprentissage:
- Trouver chez les autres (“dehors”) les causes de nos échecs
- Agir sans diagnostic des problèmes (illusion de proactivité)
- La fixation sur les événements (mémoire courte)
- Incapacité à répondre à des menaces graduelles (grenouille ébouillantée)
- Incapacité à prévoir ce qui ne relève pas de notre expérience immédiate
- Incapacité des dirigeants à se remettre en question
(p. 192) L’acquisition et le partage des connaissances sont des exercices vains si les employés ne disposent pas d’une liberté assez grande pour les mettre en pratique.
(p. 192) ⭐ Dans beaucoup de grandes entreprises, on a créé le poste de directeur de la gestion du savoir (Chief Knowledge Officer) chargé d’organiser le capital intellectuel de l’entreprise. Ses responsabilités sont:
- Lier la stratégie du savoir dans l’entreprise avec les stratégies corporatives (mission, performance, …)
- Définir la politique de gestion des compétences clés
- Promouvoir des projets du savoir à l’intérieur et en dehors de l’entreprise
- Participer activement à l’architecture des systèmes et des structures du savoir de l’entreprise
(p. 192) Les chefs d’entreprise sont les gardiens de la mémoire organisationnelle.
(p. 203) “À Industriel Alliance, chaque mois, une dizaine d’employés sont tirés au sort pour avoir droit à un lunch servi par leur patron, dans une salle de réunion de l’entreprise. C’est l’occasion de formuler critiques, demandes et recommandations. Il n’y a pas de directeur ou VP durant le repas. Aucun sujet n’est tabou.”
(p. 204) Utiliser les émotions ne veut pas dire être irrationnel. Les émotions sont un des moteurs de la créativité et de la motivation.
(p. 207) Pour faire des profits, il faut attirer les meilleurs employés et pour cela, il faut que le lieu de travail soit plaisant.
(p. 208) La colère est l’une des émotions les plus difficiles à maîtriser.
(p. 210) On peut former des employés à faire n’importe quel boulot, mais les employés doivent déjà avoir l’attitude appropriée.
(p. 212) Les meilleurs recruteurs ont plus de facilité à:
- affirmer leurs sentiments et opinions
- se mettre à la place des autres
- être heureux dans la vie
- prendre conscience de leurs émotions dans une situation particulière
(p. 212) Intelligence émotionnelle: capacité à reconnaître nos émotions et à les exprimer correctement aux autres, à les soumettre à notre jugement, à les maîtriser pour favoriser l’épanouissement personnel.
(p. 214) Compassion organisationnelle: capacité des dirigeants de soulager la souffrance de leurs employés ou d’autres personnes. Exemples:
- Offrir le plus de ressources possible (argent, aide médicale, etc.)
- Réagir rapidement
- Fournir de l’information constante sur les événements et sur ce qui est fait pour remédier à la situation
- Encourager les interactions sociales (réduction de l’anxiété par le contact)
- Ne pas faire semblant d’ignorer la gravité de la situation
- Essayer de faire revenir les gens à leurs activités habituelles en continuant de fournir le soutien nécessaire
(p. 219) Bon nombre de plaintes pour harcèlement sexuel proviennent d’une relation consensuelle ayant mal tourné.
(p. 221) Facteurs déclenchant le harcèlement psychologique:
- Culture organisationnelle laxiste
- Politiques de gestion du personnel défaillantes
- Niveau général de stress élevé
- Emplois précaires
- Changements radicaux dans l’organisation du travail
- Mauvais rapports entre employés et hiérarchie
- Confusion dans les rôles de chacun
(p. 223) Les employés sont plus anxieux quand ils n’ont aucun contrôle sur la manière d’exécuter leurs tâches, le moment de les faire ou le rythme de travail et la surveillance constante. Le travail est plus stressant quand il est régulé par une machine qui exige une surveillance continue ou quand c’est un autre qui gère votre horaire de travail.
(p. 225) Les cadres qui se trouvent en bas de la pyramide organisationnelle ont une moins bonne santé que ceux qui se trouvent tout en haut. C’est parce que les hauts dirigeants ont une plus grande latitude décisionnelle.
(p. 228) ⭐ La lutte à l’absentéisme, c’est aussi s’occuper de ceux qui sont présents.
(p. 230) On peut renforcer sa confiance en soi de manière à percevoir les difficultés professionnelles comme un défi et non comme une menace.
(p. 241) “J’aime mieux voir un employé heureux qu’un client heureux, car l’un ne va pas sans l’autre.”
(p. 249) Les deux natures de l’estime:
- Estime de soi, découlant de la réussite personnelle
- Estime sociale, c’est-à-dire la reconnaissance et le respect provenant des autres
(p. 254) Besoins humains fondamentaux:
- Acquérir et conserver
- Entrer en relation
- Apprendre
- Se défendre
- Besoins secondaires, très importantes sources de motivation:
  - Besoin d’accomplissement
  - Besoin d’affiliation
  - Besoin de pouvoir
(p. 257) Les leaders efficaces doivent posséder un fort besoin de pouvoir social (l’influence qui leur permettrait d’agir sur leur communauté) plutôt que personnel (pour leur propre bénéfice).
(p. 262) Les employés fortement engagés ne sont pas forcément plus productifs, mais ils sont plus fidèles à l’entreprise.
(p. 263) ⭐ Un objectif établi doit répondre aux exigences suivantes:
- être précis
- être pertinent
- être stimulant
- susciter l’engagement
- favoriser la participation
- donner lieu à une rétroaction
(p. 264) L’adhésion aux objectifs est plus susceptible de se produire quand ceux-ci sont publics, fixés par l’employé lui-même, et que celui-ci a un sentiment de contrôle interne.
(p. 265) La rétroaction doit porter sur la tâche et non sur la personne, ce qui a pour effet de réduire ses réactions de défense dans le cas d’objectifs non atteints. La rétroaction doit porter sur les actes de l’employé plutôt que sur des conditions hors de son contrôle pour éviter toute “contamination” de jugement. La rétroaction partage les mêmes caractéristiques que doit posséder un objectif efficace:
- précise
- pertinente
- synchrone (timely)
- fréquente
- crédible
(p. 266) L’employé qui effectue de nouvelles tâches doit recevoir une rétroaction plus fréquente, car il a davantage besoin de directives et de conseils, en même temps que d’un renforcement positif.
(p. 271) L’individu détermine s’il a été traité de façon juste en comparant son propre rapport rétribution-contribution (R/C) à celui des autres personnes.
- la rétribution (tangible ou non) est ce que l’individu reçoit en échange de ses contributions
(p. 274) ⭐ Les personnes recherchent la justice pour elle-même, et pas seulement comme un moyen d’améliorer leurs avantages.
(p. 276) Payer un employé plus qu’il le mérite pour stimuler sa motivation est une solution à court terme seulement. À long terme, l’employé finit par banaliser ce privilège et ses collègues auront le sentiment d’être sous-payés.
(p. 277) L’attribution de récompenses extrinsèques, comme la paie, pour un travail qui était déjà intrinsèquement motivant aurait tendance à diminuer l’intensité de la motivation de la personne. Au mieux, les récompenses extrinsèques stimuleraient la motivation à accomplir des tâches assez répétitives.
(p. 278) ⭐ Les moments de joie et de satisfaction extrêmes, curieusement, ne sont pas associés aux loisirs, mais à l’accomplissement de tâches réalisables et exigeantes qui mobilisent toute notre concentration et toutes nos compétences.
- “Flux”, une expérience optimale.
(p. 301) Les récompenses basées sur l’appartenance et l’ancienneté tendent à attirer les candidats qui recherchent la sécurité d’emploi.
(p. 308) Pour harmoniser la rémunération des actionnaires avec celle des dirigeants, on peut verser des primes sous forme d’actions en insistant pour que le dirigeant les conserve jusqu’à la fin de sa carrière dans la compagnie.
(p. 308) Le principal inconvénient du régime d’actionnariat du personnel, du système d’options, est que le personnel perçoit souvent mal la relation entre l’effort individuel/d’équipe et la valeur des actions de l’entreprise. Des facteurs étrangers à l’effort des employés influencent le prix des actions de la compagnie et sa rentabilité.
(p. 309) ⭐ La nature des objectifs conditionne celle du système de récompense. Avant toute chose, il faudra définir les objectifs de la mise sur pied d’un système de récompenses.
(p. 309) Pour être satisfaisante, la rétribution doit être assez importante aux yeux de celui qui la reçoit. La solution consiste à demander aux membres du personnel ce qui a de la valeur pour eux.
(p. 310) ⭐ Les récompenses d’équipe tendent à augmenter la coopération entre les employés et à diminuer l’esprit de compétition au sein du groupe.
(p. 310) Il faut veiller à ce que l’arrêt de récompenses ne soit pas perçu en fait comme une punition (donc l’expliquer).
(p. 310) Une exagération des récompenses peut diminuer l’envie de prendre des risques chez les dirigeants de manière à ne pas menacer leurs avantages, ce qui réduit les efforts d’innovation et de changement.
(p. 312) ⭐ Les réactions des employés à leurs rétributions reflètent leur culture nationale.
(p. 315) La notion de qualité n’a aucune signification si le travailleur ignore la fonction de ce qu’il produit.
(p. 325) Gestion par processus: Repenser l’organisation du travail. Les services traditionnels (marketing, achat, etc.) et organisés sous forme pyramidale disparaissent au profit de l’organisation d’unités correspondant à des processus clés et centrés sur le client (réalisation des commandes, développement des produits, stratégies). Un chef dirige chacune des unités.
(p. 329) ⭐ La plus grande faiblesse d’un gestionnaire, c’est de ne pas savoir bien s’entourer par crainte d’avoir des gens plus forts que lui dans certains domaines.
(p. 330) Soliloque: dialogue interne avec soi-même qui vise à clarifier nos pensées, à prendre de meilleures décisions et à nous encourager.
(p. 337) Les mesures de réduction du temps de travail (avec réduction de salaire) et du travail partagé permettent de réduire les licenciements massifs dans les périodes économiques difficiles pour les entreprises.
(p. 341) ⭐ Les erreurs sont autorisées, mais la même erreur ne peut être tolérée plus de deux fois.
(p. 349) Toutes les équipes sont des groupes, mais tous les groupes ne sont pas des équipes. Pour qu’un groupe devienne une équipe, il doit posséder les caractéristiques suivantes:
- Les membres ont un projet/des intérêts communs
- Les membres travaillent ensemble pour concrétiser ces projets/objectifs
- Les interactions des membres sont fréquentes et leurs activités sont interdépendantes
- Les membres ont le sentiment d’appartenir à la même équipe
- Les membres ont des rôles bien définis et acceptés à l’intérieur du groupe (structure stable)
- L’équipe de cohésive
- Les membres se connaissent professionnellement ou personnellement
- Le projet qui les unit a une certaine durée
(p. 353) Nous nous définissons à travers nos affiliations à des groupes dans la société.
(p. 354) Les recherches montrent que les membres d’une équipe travaillent plus efficacement quand ils sont récompensés, du moins en partie, pour la performance du groupe entier.
(p. 357) Les chercheurs soulignent l’importance d’enseigner aux employés comment communiquer entre eux et coordonner leur travail au sein d’une équipe.
(p. 359) Les avantages de la diversité se font surtout sentir quand l’équipe s’efforce d’atteindre un consensus (au lieu de voter) et que chaque membre tente activement de comprendre et d’intégrer les points de vue de ses coéquipiers.
(p. 360) Les étapes d’évolution d’une équipe:
1. Formation
2. Conflit
3. Régulation
4. Coopération
5. Dissolution
6. (Note: les équipes peuvent aussi revenir à un stade antérieur, e.g. quand de nouveaux membres s’ajoutent)
(p. 361) Le modèle de l’équilibre rompu: En général un groupe, face à des échéanciers, planifie ses activités durant la première moitié du temps qui lui est imparti, mais les révise et les met en œuvre dans la deuxième partie.
(p. 365) Les rôles à l’intérieur des groupes:
- Orientés vers la tâche:
  - Initiateur: Détermine les objectifs de la réunion et propose des moyens pour les atteindre
  - Demandeur d’information: Demande l’éclaircissement de certaines idées ou des preuves à l’appui d’une opinion
  - Transmetteur d’information: Donne de l’info et ses opinions sur la tâche et les objectifs de l’équipe
  - Coordonnateur: Coordonne les sous-groupes et rassemble les idées
  - Évaluateur: Évalue le fonctionnement de l’équipe en le comparant à une norme établie
  - Secrétaire: Agit comme la mémoire de l’équipe
  - Orienteur: Garde l’équipe concentrée sur ses objectifs
- Orientés vers les relations interpersonnelles:
  - Pacificateur: Arbitre les conflits entre les membres du groupe et apaise les tensions
  - Animateur: Encourage et facilite la participation de tous les membres de l’équipe
  - Motivateur: Approuve et appuie les idées de ses coéquipiers, manifestant sa sympathie et sa solidarité envers l’équipe
(p. 368) Les équipes très cohésives ont un rendement inférieur quand elles privilégient leurs propres normes en premier et que celles-ci s’opposent aux objectifs de l’organisation.
(p. 369) Les équipes ne sont pas toujours nécessaires. Parfois, il est plus approprié qu’une personne mène seule une action rapide et décisive.
(p. 369) Loi de Brooks: L’ajout de nouveaux membres à un projet en retard ne fait que le retarder d’avantage.
(p. 370) La tendance des individus à fournir moins d’efforts en groupe est plus fréquente dans les équipes de grande taille où la contribution de chaque individu est difficile à déterminer.
(p. 385) La communication de personne à personne est la forme de communication la plus efficace quand les données sont complexes ou sensibles. Les vidéoconférences, qui semblent similaires à la communication en personne, sont beaucoup plus limitées que nous le pensons.
(p. 386) Dans une équipe virtuelle, le temps pour les conversations ouvertes est très limité. Il est presque impossible de faire un remue-méninges entre collègues.
(p. 386) Les employés d’Entreprise Networks de Siemens se retrouvent tous les ans pendant 4 jours. Cette session annuelle a permis de tisser des liens, ce qui a contribué à limiter la rotation du personnel et à accroître la cohésion de l’équipe.
(p. 387) ⭐ La confiance existe lorsque vous avez le sentiment bien assuré que les intentions et les actions d’autrui ne porteront pas préjudice à ce que vous valorisez.
(p. 387) En général, la confiance uniquement basée sur le calcul ne réussit pas à maintenir longtemps les bonnes relations entre tous les membres de l’équipe, surtout si elle est virtuelle.
(p. 388) On bâtit une équipe en réalisant les quatre activités suivantes:
- Définition des rôles
- Établissement des objectifs
- Résolutions des problèmes
- Amélioration des relations interpersonnelles
(p. 390) ⭐ La construction d’équipe est un processus continu et non un exercice ponctuel.
(p. 401) Il faut éviter de définir un problème à l’aide de ses solutions, car c’est un piège (exemple: “Le problème est que nous avons besoin de mieux contrôler nos fournisseurs”). Un bon diagnostic serait de déterminer d’abord la cause des symptômes avant de passer aux solutions.
(p. 401) Malheureusement, les décideurs tendent à considérer un problème nouveau avec des solutions anciennes qui ont fonctionné par le passé. Les solutions anciennes ne sont pas nécessairement ajustées au problème nouveau.
(p. 406) L'intuition est l’expression des connaissances tacites d’une personne.
(p. 408) ⭐ On peut minimiser l’intensification d’un engagement et la justification post-décisionnelle en faisant en sorte que ceux qui prennent les décisions ne sont pas ceux qui les évaluent. Cela permet d’éviter le désir de sauver la face, car la personne responsable de l’évaluation de la décision n’est pas liée à la décision initiale.
(p. 409) On peut classer le processus décisionnel des individus selon deux dimensions:
- tolérance à l’ambiguïté (situation peu définies)
- façon de raisonner (rationnelle vs intuitive)
(p. 410) Cadrage (framing) : Les gens prennent des décisions différentes pour résoudre un même problème selon la façon dont celui-ci est présenté
(p. 411) Les heuristiques (rules of thumb) sont des méthodes de résolution de problème qui simplifient le processus décisionnel, mais sans faire appel à une analyse systématique des jugements portés.
(p. 412) ⭐ Lorsque les activités de l’organisation ne correspondent pas aux attentes des clients, les employés sont souvent les premiers à le savoir.
(p. 413) La pertinence et l’efficacité d’une participation dans le processus de prise de décision dépend de:
- la source des connaissances nécessaires à cette décision
- l’engagement par rapport à la décision
- la structure décisionnelle en cours
- les risques de conflit pouvant intervenir dans le processus de décision
(p. 413) S’il est peu probable que le personnel accepte une décision prise sans consultation, la consultation est généralement nécessaire. Si les objectif et les normes du personnel entrent en conflit avec les objectifs de l’organisation, alors un niveau peu élevé de consultation est conseillé.
(p. 416) ⭐ ⭐ Créez une culture qui exprime que ce n’est pas grave d’échouer.
(p. 416) ⭐ Le génie est constitué de 1% d’inspiration et 99% de transpiration.
(p. 416) La créativité est un processus d’apprentissage continu. Elle est synonyme de changement, et les changements sont possibles seulement lorsque les employés ont le pouvoir d’expérimenter leurs idées. Les employés tendent à être plus créatifs lorsqu’ils pensent que leur travail influencera de manière substantielle l’organisation ou la société.
(p. 417) Les inhibiteurs de la créativité:
- Pressions temporelles extrêmes
- Objectifs irréalistes
- Interruptions incessantes
(p. 420) Symptômes de la pensée de groupe:
- Illusion d’invulnérabilité: L’équipe accepte des décisions risquées, car les faiblesses sont ignorées ou cachées
- Présomption de moralité: Les membres ne ressentent pas le besoin de débattre de l’éthique de leurs actions
- Rationalisation: Ce qui ne semble pas relever de la décision de l’équipe est écarté
- Les “ennemis” (groupes extérieurs) sont présentés comme totalement diaboliques ou idiots
- Autocensure
- Illusion d’unanimité: Chaque membre croit qu’il est le seul à douter, dû au comportement “harmonieux” créé par l’autocensure. Ce silence est perçu comme une preuve de consensus
- Défense du groupe: Certains membres empêchent toute information négative ou contradictoire d’affecter le groupe
- Pression sur les dissidents (pression de conformité)
(p. 421) Effet de polarisation de groupe: À la fin de la réunion, il est fort probable que l’équipe s’accordera sur une solution plus extrême que l’opinion moyenne initiale de chacun. Cela est dû à:
- la persuasion
- le soutien social
- le transfert de responsabilité (les individus se sentent moins responsables des conséquences des décisions prises par l’équipe)
(p. 422) Conflit constructif: Les membres d’une équipe débattent en s’assurant que le conflit reste centré sur la tâche plutôt que sur les personnes. On évite les énoncés menaçants l’estime et le bien-être des autres membres de l’équipe.
(p. 423) La diversité de l’équipe n’engendrera pas de conflit constructif si le responsable d’équipe prend la plupart des décisions seul.
(p. 423) Les 4 règles du remue-méninge:
- Discuter librement: Les idées folles et bizarres sont acceptées parce qu’elles deviennent la source de pensées divergentes dans le processus créatif
- N’émettre aucune critique: parce qu’on s’attend à des idées folles et bizarres
- Fournir autant d’idées que possible: La pensée divergente intervient une fois que toutes les idées traditionnelles ont été présentées
- S’inspirer des idées des autres: Combiner ou améliorer les idées déjà présentées
(p. 425) Le remue-méninges électronique permet d’émettre davantage d’idées que le remue-méninges traditionnel. C’est parce que les participants peuvent proposer leur idée dès que celle-ci leur vient, plutôt que d’attendre leur tour. Il permet aussi de lancer des idées farfelues sans que personne ne sache qui en est l’auteur.
(p. 435) “Vous avez beau avoir le plus bel environnement de travail et les meilleurs programmes pour les employés, si c’est mal communiqué, ça n’aura pas l’effet recherché.
(p. 438) Idée: Rendre disponible le CV des employés de la compagnie sur intranet.
(p. 442) “Toutes les querelles qui éclatent chez Disney semblent résulter d’un malentendu causé par un courriel.”
(p. 449) Les canaux de communication les plus riches sont les plus appropriés dans des situations inhabituelles ou ambiguës.
(p. 449) Canaux de communication, du plus riche au moins riche:
- face à face
- vidéoconférence
- téléphone
- courriel, lettres
- bulletins d’informations
- rapports financiers
(p. 449) ⭐ Le mode de communication choisi est le message, c’est-à-dire que l’importance du message peut être déduite par le choix du mode de communication. Il faut donc être sensible au sens symbolique du support de communication choisi et s’assurer qu’il renforce le sens du message plutôt que l’inverse.
(p. 450) ⭐ Le plus grand problème avec la communication, c’est l’illusion qu’elle a eu lieu.
(p. 453) Trois actions permettent de réduire la charge d’information:
- trier
- résumer
- omettre
(p. 457) Un écouteur actif améliore sa compréhension lorsqu’il résiste à la tentation d’évaluer immédiatement les propos de l’autre, en évitant d’interrompre son interlocuteur et en écoutant avec une attention soutenue.
(p. 458) ⭐ Une conversation peut toujours nous apprendre des choses intéressantes: il suffit de les rechercher activement.
(p. 459) L’écoutant actif donne une rétroaction en reformulant les idées du locuteur. Il montre qu’il s’intéresse à la conversation et aide le locuteur à déterminer que vous avez compris le message.
(p. 459) Les communications ascendantes sont encore moins précises que les communications descendantes. Parce que les employés ont tendance à éviter de parler de leurs erreurs ou de mauvaises nouvelles à leurs supérieurs, ils ont plutôt tendance à exagérer leurs réussites.
(p. 462) Généralement 75% des employés entendent les nouvelles par une communication parallèle (basée sur les relations sociales plutôt que les organigrammes) avant de l’obtenir de canaux officiels.
(p. 463) Le moral baisse quand la direction est plus lente que le système informel à communiquer l’information.
(p. 467) Le plan de communication en période de crise consiste à clairement choisir:
- l’objectif de la communication
- le message
- les émetteurs
- la cible
- les moyens
(p. 468) La contagion émotionnelle est la tendance automatique et inconsciente à imiter les comportements non verbaux des autres.
(p. 478) Les sources de pouvoir:
- Structurelles:
  - Légitime
  - De récompense
  - De contrainte
- Personnelles:
  - D’expertise
  - D’information
  - De référence (admiration, respect, dû au charisme)
  - De relation (réseaux)
(p. 478) Les situations créatrices de pouvoir:
- Contrôle de l’incertitude
- Être irremplaçable
- Position stratégique
- Pouvoir discrétionnaire
- Visibilité
(p. 478) Si A exerce du pouvoir sur B, c’est parce que B dépend de A pour obtenir quelque chose qu’il ne pourrait pas avoir sans l’intervention de A.
(p. 488) Une bonne direction va définir des stratégies pour que les acteurs de l’organisation (peu importe le niveau stratégique) gagnent le plus d’autonomie possible.
(p. 489) ⭐ ⭐ Le pouvoir n’est pas un attribut (tel le physique d’une personne), mais une relation de réciprocité asymétrique.
(p. 492) ⭐ Parvenir à introduire de nouvelles valeurs organisationnelles est un processus d’influence essentiel en matière de leadership.
(p. 493) L'autorité tacite consiste à influencer le comportement d’autrui en utilisant un pouvoir légitime, mais sans y faire explicitement référence. Ce type d’autorité est la forme la plus courante dans les cultures à distance hiérarchique élevée (e.g. castes en Inde)
(p. 494) Prévenance: Toute tentative d’accroître la sympathie d’une personne envers soi.
(p. 495) Les personnes qui utilisent la prévenance de manière trop évidente et sans réel objet peuvent perdre toute influence, car leur comportement sera considéré comme faux et intéressé. Elles ont alors peu de chances d’avancement.
(p. 496) Les recherches soutiennent que les tactiques “douces” comme la persuasion amicale et la prévenance subtile, sont mieux acceptées que les tactiques “dures” comme le recours à l’autorité hiérarchique ou la contrainte.
(p. 497) Les employés canadiens acceptent bien la prévenance, car elle minimise les conflits et encourage des relations de confiance, ce qui n’est pas le cas dans les cultures à distance hiérarchique élevée (e.g. à Hong Kong)
(p. 498) Les jeux politiques ont tendance à apparaître lorsque les modes d’attribution des ressources sont ambigus, complexes ou manquent de règles formelles d’application.
(p. 503) La politique n’est pas éthique lorsqu’elle sert uniquement les intérêts personnels au détriment de l’organisation et des autres individus.
(p. 511) ⭐ Si un patron dit non, il doit expliquer pourquoi.
(p. 512) Un des rôles principaux des dirigeants, et plus généralement des responsables RH, est d’intégrer les différences des groupes/unités dans l’organisation, i.e. résoudre des conflits qui touchent le personnel.
(p. 512) Les conflits ne doivent être ni supprimés ni évités, mais gérés, voire stimulés dans le cas où l’efficacité, la créativité et l’innovation en dépendent.
(p. 512) Le conflit est une question de perception: peu importe que les raisons du conflit soient réelles ou non, la réalité est définie par les parties concernées.
(p. 512) La plupart des conflits résolus montrent qu’en fait, les intérêts communs des parties sont plus nombreux qu’elles ne l’avaient imaginé.
(p. 516) La perception d’un ennemi commun renforce la cohésion de groupe et atténue les conflits internes.
(p. 516) Six types de conflits:
- Intrapersonnel (dilemmes dans l’individu)
- Interpersonnel (entre 2+ personnes)
- Intragroupe (dans un groupe)
- Intergroupe (2+ groupes)
- Intraorganisationnel (dans une organisation)
- Interorganisationnel (2+ organisations)
(p. 519) ⭐ Sept facteurs structurels qui forment un terrain propice aux conflits:
- Les différences des buts des groupes
- L’indépendance des tâches
- La concurrence par des ressources limitées
- Le degré de clarté des règles/règlements/rôles
- La nature du système de communication dans l’organisation
- Les différences de niveaux de pouvoir
- Les variations dans le système d’évaluation et récompenses des groupes
(p. 519) ⭐ Pour tempérer les querelles, il faut préférer le conflit lié aux tâches et l’empêcher de dégénérer en conflit socio-affectif.
(p. 523) Étapes de l’isolement de parties en conflit:
1. Une partie exprime son désaccord avec arrogance. Elle est perçue par l’autre partie en adversaire plutôt qu’en collaboratrice.
2. Cette attitude pousse l’autre partie à lui rendre la pareille, par réciprocité.
3. Cette escalade diminue la motivation à communiquer entre parties, ce qui accentue les stéréotypes et l’incompréhension.
4. Résultat: les individus en conflit se renferment sur eux-mêmes.
(p. 524) ⭐ ⭐ Le service des ventes abuse de son pouvoir quand il impose des contraintes irréalistes au service de production.
(p. 524) Alors que les activités des différents services doivent converger pour réaliser les buts de l’organisation grâce à des efforts communs, le système d’évaluation et de récompense valorise souvent les performances de chacun des services.
(p. 526) Les personnes dogmatiques, autoritaires et ayant une faible estime d’elles-mêmes ont une propension à se retrouver dans des situations conflictuelles.
(p. 527) Un conflit de personnalité entre deux collègues de travail peut représenter une cause suffisante de congédiement.
(p. 528) Styles de gestion des conflits interpersonnels:
- Résolution de problème (haut degré de collaboration, haute affirmation de soi)
- Compromis (collaboration modérée, affirmation modérée)
- Affrontement (collaboration basse, affirmation haute)
- Conciliation (collaboration haute, affirmation basse)
- Évitement (collaboration basse, affirmation basse)
(p. 528) La résolution de problème pour gérer un conflit est le seul style qui représente une attitude gagnant-gagnant. Elle donne les meilleurs résultats quand les intérêts des parties ne sont pas diamétralement opposés et quand elles ont assez de confiance et d’ouverture pour partager l’information.
(p. 529) L’évitement constitue la meilleure approche quand le conflit est devenu émotif. Mais l’évitement ne doit pas constituer une solution à long terme, car il accroît le sentiment de frustration de l’autre partie de voir le problème non résolu.
(p. 529) L’affrontement systématique est rarement approprié, mais peut s’avérer nécessaire quand une partie est persuadée d’avoir raison et que le différend doit être réglé rapidement, ou quand l’autre partie bafoue les règles d’éthique. Tout comportement immoral est inacceptable.
(p. 530) ⭐ Une attitude trop conciliante peut donner à la partie adverse des attentes irréalistes et la pousser à exiger toujours plus. À la longue, la conciliation risque d’aggraver le conflit plutôt que de le résoudre.
(p. 530) ⭐ ⭐ Le style de résolution de conflit le plus approprié selon la situation:
- Conciliation (céder entièrement aux désirs de l’autre partie)
  - Le problème est plus important pour une partie que pour l’autre
  - Une partie négocie en position de faiblesse
  - Il est important de préserver la relation avec la partie adverse
  - Il faut prévenir l’escalade du conflit
  - Il y a trop d’émotivité dans les interactions
- Affrontement (gagner aux dépends de l’autre partie)
  - Le problème est relativement simple, mais l’issue est importante
  - Une décision rapide est requise
  - La décision est impopulaire et le consensus est impossible
  - Les subordonnés n’ont ni l’expertise ni l’info pour résoudre le problème
  - Une partie n’a pas besoin de l’autre pour mettre en œuvre sa décision
- Évitement
  - Le problème est peu important
  - La confrontation est plus “coûteuse” que la résolution du problème
  - Le conflit actuel n’est qu’un symptôme d’un problème plus grave à découvrir
  - Il faut détendre l’atmosphère
- Compromis (chercher à compenser les pertes par des gains de même valeur)
  - Les intérêts et les objectifs sont mutuellement exclusifs
  - Les deux parties ont un pouvoir égal
  - Le consensus est impossible
  - Dans les circonstances, les autres stratégies seraient “défavorables”
  - Une solution temporaire est requise
- Coopération (trouver une solution favorable aux deux parties)
  - Le problème est complexe
  - La solution est impossible sans l’une ou l’autre des parties
  - Le temps disponible est suffisant
  - Les enjeux sont importants
  - La relation entre les parties doit être préservée
(p. 531) Le compromis est rarement une solution finale et il peut amener les parties à négliger certaines possibilités de gains réciproques.
(p. 531) ⭐ Résoudre des conflits nécessite parfois de les susciter ou de les aggraver.
(p. 532) Les forces multinationales du maintien de la paix travaillent plus efficacement quand les soldats mangent et bavardent souvent ensemble.
(p. 533) ⭐ Plus les divers groupes d’une entreprise ont des occasions de communiquer d’une manière informelle, mieux ils travailleront ensemble.
(p. 533) Lorsque deux groupes appartiennent à la même division et que ces deux groupes ont une clientèle, des objectifs et des techniques de travail relativement différents, on peut scinder cette division en deux.
(p. 536) Au début de négociations, les négociateurs chevronnés divulguent seulement quelques données en essayant de déterminer si l’autre partie fera de même.
(p. 536) En négociations, le position est la demande ferme exprimée par une partie. Les intérêts ou enjeux véritables sont les préoccupations réelles sous-jacentes aux positions et aux négociations des parties. Exemple:
- Position: Le syndicat s’oppose à une reclassification des postes
- Intérêts: Crainte que la mise en œuvre d’équipes autonomes mène à des licenciements.
(p. 537) La zone de négociation, si elle existe, se trouve entre votre point de résistance et le point de résistance de l’autre partie.
(p. 538) Être sensible aux arguments de l’adversaire ne veut pas dire qu’on les approuve, mais les deux parties y gagnent en estime réciproque.
(p. 539) Il est plus facile de négocier sur votre propre territoire parce que vous connaissez bien l’environnement et pouvez conserver vos habitudes rassurantes.
(p. 539) ⭐ Disposition des sièges pour une négociation réussie:
- Les deux parties regardent le même tableau blanc. Cela met en évidence qu’elles font face au même problème.
- Les différents participants sont dispersés autour de la table pour favoriser une orientation gagnant-gagnant.
(p. 540) Les négociateurs obtiennent des résultats plus favorables quand ils sont bien préparés et qu’ils se sont fixé des objectifs concrets.
(p. 540) ⭐ Cherchez à comprendre avant de chercher à être compris.
(p. 541) Les négociateurs efficaces minimisent les conflits socioaffectifs en se concentrant sur les problèmes plutôt que sur les gens. Ils évitent les propos comme “Je pense que vous serez d’accord pour juger que mon offre est généreuse.”
(p. 541) ⭐ Un bon négociateur, avant d’entrer dans la pièce où ont lieu les négociations, demandera à ses collègues de lui poser des questions difficiles.
(p. 541) La meilleure stratégie de négociation consiste à adopter une attitude modérée et à faire juste assez de concessions pour montrer à l’autre partie qu’on est sincère et désireux de résoudre le conflit, tout en étant ferme.
(p. 542) L'ombudsman est un poste officiel pour celui qui écoutera les conflits entre les parties. Il fait son enquête sur la problématique et essaie de trouver une solution. Pour traiter une plainte, il peut mener des enquêtes, influencer, conseiller, recommander, mais jamais décider.
(p. 542) ⭐ L’existence de l’ombudsman dans l’entreprise est la reconnaissance du fait que, dans toute démocratie ou système, il y a des erreurs et un besoin de jeter un deuxième regard.
(p. 544) En règle générale, la médiation est la méthode qui convient le mieux dans les cas de conflits fréquents qui opposent les employés, surtout lorsqu’ils ne communiquent plus.
(p. 553) Le rôle des cadres auprès de leurs subordonnés:
- rassembleur
- catalyseur de talents
- mentor
- “serviteur” indispensable (leadership discret)
(p. 553) Un leader est quelqu’un qui donne de l’espoir aux personnes qui l’entourent et qui prêche par l’exemple. Il ou elle aide les autres à “trouver le chemin” vers le but commun. Être leader n’est pas un job, c’est une mission.
(p. 554) Le leadership est l’aptitude d’une personne à influencer et motiver d’autres individus et à leur permettre de contribuer à l’efficacité et à la réussite de leur organisation.
(p. 556) ⭐ L’intégrité est la caractéristique la plus importante des leaders. Le personnel souhaite avoir des chefs honnêtes à qui il peut faire confiance.
(p. 557) ⭐ Il y a un prix à payer pour être un vrai leader, celui de la discipline personnelle.
(p. 561) Les styles de leadership:
- Participatif (haut intérêt pour les relations et pour la tâche)
- Social (haut intérêt pour les relations)
- Autocratique (haut intérêt pour les tâches)
- Intermédiaire (moyen en relations et tâches)
- Anémique (sans intérêt)
(p. 562) Il n’est pas nécessaire d’être un leader flamboyant pour être efficace. La crise passée, les qualités des leaders charismatiques peuvent se retourner contre eux et les rendre inadéquats dans la nouvelle réalité.
(p. 563) ⭐ Les leaders à l’excellence durable:
- dégagent un mélange paradoxal d’humilité sur le plan personnel et de volonté sur le plan professionnel
- agissent avec calme et détermination
- sont motivés en raison de leurs principes et non de leur charisme
- s’appliquent à pérenniser l’entreprise en préparant leurs successeurs
- ne blâment jamais les autres pour leurs erreurs
(p. 563) ⭐ Un leader qui élimine les obstacles (en donnant des moyens, clarifiant les tâches, …) pour son subordonné accroît la perception de celui-ci que travailler de façon ardue le conduira à une performance élevée qui sera reconnue et récompensée.
(p. 564) Les leaders au service des autres ne se considèrent pas dans une position de pouvoir; il veulent être des entraîneurs (coachs) et animateurs.
(p. 565) Quel style de leadership est adapté à quelle situation
(p. 569) Le style de leadership est lié à la personnalité du leader et par conséquent est relativement stable dans le temps.
(p. 570) Les leaders efficaces aident les membres des équipes à s’autodiriger.
(p. 571) ⭐ La gestion par organigramme ne fonctionne jamais.
(p. 571) ⭐ Prônons la gestion par l’exemple. Il ne faut jamais demander aux employés de faire ce qu’on n’est pas prêt à faire soi-même.
(p. 572) Les organisations ont besoin de deux types de leadership à la fois:
- transactionnel (améliore l’efficacité organisationnelle en temps de stabilité)
- transformationnel (dirige l’entreprise vers des changements de paradigmes en période de turbulences)
(p. 573) ⭐ La qualité la plus importante d’un leader est la capacité de concevoir et de partager sa vision avec l’organisation.
(p. 574) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Si vous parlez de vitesse d’exécution, mais que vous reportez des décisions difficiles, vous n’êtes pas crédible.
(p. 577) La satisfaction et la performance dans une équipe dépendent de la qualité des relations qui s’établissent entre le leader et chaque subordonné.
(p. 583) Leadership interpellable: Le chef, se donnant en exemple, fonde son autorité sur la transparence de ses actes.
(p. 595) Il existe une limite au nombre d’employés qu’un chef peut commander.
(p. 605) Le stress est un symptôme courant dans les structures matricielles mal gérées, car les employés doivent alors rendre des comptes à deux chefs ayant des besoins et des attentes parfois divergents.
(p. 611) À mesure que les entreprises découvrent leurs compétences fondamentales, elles confient les tâches non vitales à d’autres organisations.
(p. 625) La réussite n’est pas une affaire individuelle, mais collective.
(p. 626) ⭐ La culture organisationnelle est l’ensemble des postulats, des valeurs et des croyances partagées qui régissent la manière de réfléchir et de faire face aux problèmes et aux opportunités qui se présentent à l’organisation. Elle détermine ce qui est important ou non au sein de l’entreprise. C’est L’ADN de l’organisation.
(p. 626) ⭐ Une culture est un ensemble de valeurs, symboles, savoirs partagés/acceptés par le plus grand nombre d’individus dans une organisation donnée. Elle dicte expli/implicitement les comportements acceptables ou non dans la collectivité.
(p. 627) ⭐ Artéfacts de la culture organisationnelle:
- Tangible:
  - Structures physiques (aménagement de l’espace)
  - Langage, communication entre les gens
  - Rituels et cérémonies
  - Histoires et légendes
  - Récompense
  - Accueil des visiteurs
  - Accueil des nouveaux employés
  - Fréquence des visites des dirigeants à leurs subalternes
  - La durée des pauses
- Culture organisationnelle (sous l’eau, invisible):
  - Croyances
  - Valeurs
  - Postulats
(p. 627) Les dimensions de la culture organisationnelle:
- Tendance à innover et prendre des risques
- Accent mis sur le service à la clientèle et le respect des employés
- Méticulosité, exactitude, respect des normes
- Fluidité des canaux de communication
- Orientation vers les résultats
- Préférence pour le travail d’équipe
(p. 630) Chaque organisation possède des sous-cultures qui constituent un sol fertile pour de nouvelles valeurs permettant à l’entreprise de s’adapter aux besoins de ses clients, fournisseurs, et la société.
(p. 630) Les fonctions de la culture d’une organisation:
- Mécanisme de régulation et de contrôle
- Donner un sentiment d’identité
- Susciter l’adhésion à la mission
- Permettre de déchiffrer les événements
(p. 631) ⭐ Comprendre la culture d’une organisation est une tâche ardue qui exige l’évaluation de nombreux artéfacts subtils et souvent ambigus. Ce procédé ressemble beaucoup à l’étude anthropologique d’une nouvelle société.
(p. 632) Les histoires et les légendes sont des messages forts qui véhiculent des normes sociales et dictent la manière dont il faut faire (ou pas) les choses. Elles donnent un aspect humain et réaliste aux attentes des entreprises et la manière dont les choses devraient fonctionner dans l’organisation.
(p. 632) Les récits fournissent la réponse aux questions suivantes:
- Comment le patron réagit-il face aux erreurs?
- Quels événements justifient le renvoi d’un employé?
- Qui peut enfreindre les règlements?
- Comment fait-on pour grandir les échelons hiérarchiques?
- Quel degré de soutien les employés peuvent-ils atteindre de l’organisation lors d’une fusion ou autre événement?
- Comment l’organisation fait-elle face aux crises?
(p. 632) Les rituels sont les interactions sociales répétitives qui mettent en évidence la culture de l’organisation.
(p. 632) Les cérémonies sont des artéfacts plus formels que les rituels.
(p. 633) ⭐ La manière dont les employés s’adressent à leurs collègues, décrivent les clients ou expriment leur colère est hautement symbolique des valeurs de l’organisation.
(p. 633) “Culture de PowerPoint”: Critique de la culture hiérarchique où la communication est à sens unique (dirigeants -> employés). Les employés se voient comme ce “public” qui a rarement la possibilité d’exprimer ses opinions ou ses préoccupations à la haute direction (“présentateurs”)
(p. 635) ⭐ Une culture organisationnelle est forte quand la majorité des employés adoptent les valeurs dominantes de l’organisation. Les cultures fortes sont durables.
(p. 635) ⭐ 💡 Des études ont révélé un lien positif modeste entre une forte culture et le succès. Une raison pour ce faible lien est qu’une culture forte améliore la performance de l’organisation seulement si le contenu culturel est approprié à son environnement.
(p. 636) Une culture très forte a tendance à étouffer les valeurs des sous-cultures différentes dans l’organisation, qui pourraient s’avérer pourtant utiles à mesure que l’environnement de l’organisation se transforme.
(p. 636) À court terme, une culture forte peut étouffer les conflits constructifs.
(p. 637) ⭐ Une organisation a plus de chances de réussir si sa culture demeure souple.
(p. 637) Une culture souple se concentre sur l’extérieur. Les employés embrassent un modèle mental commun, selon lequel la réussite de l’organisation dépend de sa capacité à changer. ⭐ Le personnel croit que le changement est à la fois nécessaire et inévitable.
(p. 637) Dans une culture souple:
- les employés accordent autant d’attention au fonctionnement qu’aux objectifs de l’organisation
- ils améliorent sans cesse les processus internes
- ils se sentent responsables de la performance de l’entreprise.
(p. 637) ⭐ “C’est notre boulot”, plutôt que “ce n’est pas mon boulot”.
(p. 637) Les employés des cultures souples cherchent activement de nouvelles possibilités au lieu d’attendre qu’elles viennent à eux. Ils agissent rapidement afin d’apprendre par la découverte plutôt que de céder à l'“analyse qui paralyse.”
(p. 638) La culture de l’entreprise doit être compatible avec les valeurs éthiques de la société et ne pas être forte au point de brimer la liberté individuelle.
(p. 639) Les employés sont des victimes d’une culture d’entreprise quand ils:
- travaillent de longues heures
- ont peu d’amis en dehors du milieu de travail
- manifestent une attitude émotive à l’égard de leur emploi
- n’arrivent plus à distinguer “qui je suis” de “ce que je fais”
(p. 639) L'audit biculturel consiste à comparer les cultures de deux entreprises avant une fusion afin de déterminer dans quelles mesures ces cultures seront compatibles. Cette analyse culturelle fait vraiment partie du devoir de diligence raisonnable.
(p. 640) The Canadian Workplace Culture Index permet d’évaluer les cultures des entreprises prévoyant fusionner. Les dimensions comparées:
- l’innovation et la tradition
- la circulation de l’information (restreinte ou large)
- la prise de décision (par consensus ou autoritaire)
(p. 641) Même si leurs cultures diffèrent d’une manière importante, deux sociétés peuvent former une union durable si elles utilisent une stratégie de fusion appropriée.
(p. 642) ⭐ Les stratégies de fusion
(p. 643) ⭐ Les changements sont efficaces quand ils deviennent “la manière dont on fait les choses ici.”
(p. 643) Étapes de création de changement:
1. Les chefs d’entreprise doivent rendre leurs employés conscients de l’urgence de changement
2. Les chefs doivent “dégeler” la culture existante en éliminant les artéfacts qui la symbolisent
3. “Recongeler” la nouvelle culture en y introduisant des artéfacts qui véhiculent et renforcent les nouvelles valeurs
(p. 644) ⭐ “L’une des choses que j’ai pu faire en tant qu’étrangère à la société a été de la remettre en question.” -Carly Fionira, Hewlett-Packard
(p. 645) ⭐ ⭐ Les sociétés maintiendront une culture forte s’ils socialisent leurs nouvelles recrues pour communiquer les valeurs dominantes de l’organisation.
(p. 647) ⭐ L’origine culturelle explique mieux les valeurs et les attitudes au travail de chacun que ne le font d’autres variables comme le niveau hiérarchique, l’âge ou le sexe.
(p. 648) Cinq dimensions principales de la culture:
- Individualisme et collectivisme
- Distance hiérarchique
- Élimination de l’incertitude
- Masculinité-Féminité
- La dimension temporelle
(p. 648) Certaines personnes ou cultures favorisent à la fois l'individualisme & un haut degré de collectivisme (e.g. au Pérou). Ces deux valeurs peuvent coexister.
(p. 650)
- Les cultures “masculines” privilégient le travail comme moyen de s’affirmer.
- Dans les cultures “féminines”, on voit le travail comme une occasion de créer des relations de coopération et de cordialité avec autrui. La préservation de son environnement et la qualité de vie au travail dont d’autres caractéristiques.
(p. 656) La culture est avant tout un processus de communication qui opère à trois niveaux:
- technique (la communication verbale ou écrite)…
- formel (par les règlements)…
- informel (langage non verbal, par exemple)…
  - ces trois éléments, dans un contexte défini.
(p. 657) Chaque organisation a une culture temporelle, c’est-à-dire sa façon de concevoir et d’organiser quelques éléments du temps, comme:
- les échéances
- la ponctualité
- la planification (à court ou long terme)
- le temps personnel
- le temps de travail
(p. 658) Chaque culture se distingue des autres par les solutions spécifiques qu’elle apporte à certains problèmes:
- problèmes liés à nos relations avec les autres
- problèmes qui reviennent du temps
- problèmes en relation avec l’environnement
(p. 659) La globalisation est quelque chose de bien et de souhaitable par rapport à la territorialité et à l’isolement si elle s’accompagne d’un fort respect des identités.
(p. 659) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ “Je changerai de démarche, de culture, mais pas de convictions.”
(p. 672) Deux types de gestion de changement qui s’offrent aux organisations et à leurs dirigeants:
- le changement graduel
- le changement radical
(p. 672) ⭐ Les dangers du changement graduel:
- aveuglément face à la nouveauté
- culture difficile à changer
- arrogance
(p. 672) Les dangers du changement radical:
- changer pour changer
- décisions à trop grands risques
- conflits
(p. 676) ⭐ La résistance du personnel au changement est le symptôme d’un problème et non sa cause
(p. 676) Si la démarche intellectuelle des personnes concernées aboutit à une analyse et à des conclusions différentes de celles de l’agent de changement, le leader peut composer avec cette “résistance” grâce à:
- l’écoute active
- le débat
- des arguments rationnels et bien documentés
- en demandant l’avis de consultants externes
- en montrant l’urgence de changer
(p. 678) Six manières de surmonter la résistance au changement du personnel:
- en premier lieu:
  - la communication
  - la formation
  - la participation du personnel
- nécessaires lorsque la résistance est politique et que la rapidité de la mise en œuvre du changement est cruciale:
  - la négociation
  - la contrainte
(p. 678) La communication est la stratégie la plus importantes dans tout changement organisationnel:
- Elle informe les employés sur:
  - ce qu’ils doivent attendre de l’effort de changement
  - les progrès réalisés
- Elle réduit la peur de l’inconnu
- Elle permet de véhiculer la nouvelle vision de la direction à tous les niveaux de l’entreprise
(p. 680) La participation du personnel à la mise en œuvre du changement réduit efficacement les problèmes liés à la peur de l’inconnu et maintien l’estime de soi des individus
(p. 680) Les séminaires (sessions de travail sur plusieurs jours auxquelles participent tous les groupes de l’organisation pour déterminer les tendances futures de l’environnement et établie des stratégies pour l’entreprise) ne peuvent être efficaces que si les participants sont créatifs et que les décideurs font un suivi des idées émises.
(p. 681) Les deux-tiers des grandes entreprises ayant introduit un changement radical ont dû remplacer une partie ou l’ensemble de leurs cadres supérieurs.
(p. 681) ⭐ ⭐ Le remplacement d’employés est une forme radicale de “désapprentissage” (puisqu’ils partent avec leur connaissance de l’entreprise), mais elle facilite l’adoption de nouvelles pratiques.
(p. 681) La contrainte est une stratégie risquée, car les employés encore à l’emploi peuvent perdre confiance en la direction.
(p. 681) De manière générale, les diverses formes de contrainte suscitent la conformité, mais pas nécessairement l’adhésion au changement.
(p. 681) Le processus de changement doit commencer avec la transmission de ce sentiment d’urgence, appuyé par la diffusion au personnel de ces changements externes (actuels et à venir) et de la situation de l’entreprise au regard de ceux-ci, par exemple:
- l’état de la concurrence
- les changements des goûts des clients
- les nouvelles réglementations gouvernementales
(p. 682) “Durant une réunion avec les employés, Joel Kocher a lu la lettre d’un client en colère. Certains employés ont eu une réaction défensive. Alors, à la surprise de tous, Kocher fait entrer le client qui a écrit la lettre. Il était très intéressant de remarquer la métamorphose qui s’est produite dans ce groupe de plusieurs centaines de personnes. Le client a pu expliquer comment les erreurs de notre organisation avaient causé des problèmes à son entreprise et à lui-même.”
(p. 682) Tout changement organisationnel nécessite des agents de changement. Un agent de changement est toute personne possédant assez de connaissances et de pouvoir pour mener à bien l’effort de changement.
(p. 683) ⭐ On peut changer tout ce qui est mesurable.
(p. 687) Les postulats et les valeurs qui sous-tendent le développement organisationnel:
- Le petit groupe de travail est la cellule de base du bon fonctionnement de l’organisation
- Le consultant, à l’éthique irréprochable, doit responsabiliser le groupe et l’outiller pour qu’il puisse travailler par la suite de façon autonome et motivée
- La collaboration entre les divers groupes et différents niveaux hiérarchiques est requise
- Le développement des individus n’est pas incompatible avec l’efficacité (humaine/organisationnelle)
(p. 689) Dans la méthode de l’analyse positive, l’accent est mis sur les succès passés et futurs des groupes.
(p. 689) ⭐ L’analyse positive est très utile lorsque les participants sont conscients de leurs “problèmes” ou qu’ils ont déjà vécu suffisamment de sentiments négatifs dans leurs relations.
(p. 689) ⭐ Processus d’analyse positive:
1. Découverte: Redécouvrir les aspects positifs de son organisation à travers les récits de divers acteurs (employés, clients, fournisseurs)
2. “Rêve”: Imaginer à quoi ressemblerait une organisation idéale
3. Conception: Engager le dialogue pour concevoir une entreprise renouvelée
4. Concrétisation: Établir des objectifs pour concrétiser le projet imaginé
(p. 690) Chrysler Canada a pratiqué une forme de méthode de l’analyse positive en commençant chaque réunion avec le récit d’une réussite.
(p. 692) Les organisations qui réussissent sont celles qui ont su anticiper/provoquer le changement, et qui ont mis la gestion des ressources humaines parmi les priorités.
(p. 692) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Les organisations sont d’abord les gens qui en font partie!

#79: Et si l’entrepreneuriat rendait fou?

(p. 6) On peut bien avoir des projets ambitieux et audacieux, le courage ne se manifestera que le jour où l’on passera à l’action.
(p. 7) L’empathie, l’écoute et la compréhension seront toujours la meilleure façon de soutenir celles et ceux qui imaginent et bâtissent un monde meilleur.
(p. 13) La folie de l’entrepreneuriat est le carburant de l’innovation.
(p. 14) ⭐ Chaque échec n’est qu’un pas de plus vers le succès.
(p. 22) L’imagine de l'“entrepreneur” crée un fardeau invisible mais écrasant: celui de devoir paraître fort même quand on est au bord de l’effondrement.
(p. 28) La neurodiversité n’est pas une question de fragilité ou de santé précaire: c’est le mode de pensée qui est différent.
(p. 29) La santé globale de l’entrepreneur est le premier capital immatériel de la PME. Quand la santé est défaillante, celle de l’entreprise l’est aussi dangereusement.
(p. 31) La peur de tout perdre revient à la peur de se perdre. Le risque d’endommager sa santé mentale est d’autant plus grand que l’entrepreneur se définit entièrement par son projet d’affaires.
(p. 33) ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Il faut être bien avant d’être bon.
(p. 41) ⭐ Il y a une détresse particulière à un moment charnière du cycle: lorsque l’entrepreneur-chercheur, puis inventeur, devient entrepreneur-vendeur et manager. Au lieu d’avoir un million de choses à tester, il faut produire un million d’exemplaires de la chose qui a fonctionné.
(p. 41) La vallée de la mort: Celui qui ne voulait pas avoir de patron voit une flopée d’investisseurs devenir ses patrons.
(p. 50) ⭐ Tu n’es pas ton entreprise, et ton entreprise n’est pas toi.
(p. 53) Quand tu parles à quelqu’un, regarde-la dans les yeux et démontre qu’elle est la personne la plus importante pour toi à ce moment précis.
(p. 66) En entrepreneuriat, nous avons souvent l’impression de participer à un marathon, mais de devoir le faire à la vitesse d’un sprint.
(p. 77) Facteurs d’anxiété:
- la fatigue
- les heures indues pour prendre ses repas
- le mauvais sommeil
- le manque de préparation
(p. 78) Les entrepreneurs doivent rassurer tous leurs clients, mais qui rassure les entrepreneurs?
(p. 81) ⭐ Une santé mentale négligée finit par nuire à la performance et à la productivité, même à court terme. Il est donc totalement faux de penser que le chemin du succès est intimement lié à l’acharnement au travail.
(p. 91) Les entrepreneurs doivent reconnaître que la vulnérabilité n’est pas une faiblesse et qu’ils n’ont pas à porter seuls le poids de leurs ambitions et de leurs responsabilités.
(p. 95) ⭐ Un président d’entreprise qui ne s’occupe pas de ses finances n’est pas un bon président d’entreprise.
(p. 104) Malheureusement, dans le monde de l’entrepreneuriat, le manque de sommeil est souvent porté comme une médaille. Au contraire, le manque de sommeil n’est pas un signe de dévouement ou de résilience, mais un risque sérieux pour la santé mentale et le bien-être général.
(p. 104) L’exercice physique est essentiel pour la bonne santé mentale.
(p. 106) La surconsommation de substances peut aggraver l’isolement social, un autre enjeu critique pour la santé mentale des entrepreneurs.
(p. 106) La stigmatisation associée à la dépendance peut entraîner une réticence à chercher de l’aide, que ce soit auprès des proches ou de professionnels de la santé.
(p. 106) Ignorer des besoins fondamentaux comme 8 heures de sommeil, du temps pour faire des exercices, et des repas équilibrés, revient à construire une entreprise sur des fondations fragiles.
(p. 110) “Si tu veux que ton projet aille plus vite, trouve-toi un groupe qui l’a déjà fait. Ça va être plus facile.
(p. 115) ⭐ ⭐ Boire et consommer excessivement c’est une chose, mais se cacher pour le faire, c’est dangereux.
(p. 118) Une mauvaise santé mentale pousse à faire des choix impulsifs, mal informés ou irréfléchis qui peuvent rapidement avoir un impact sur les opérations, la stratégie et le positionnement de l’entreprise.
(p. 129) La procrastination demeure une faiblesse majeure des personnes atteintes du TDAH. La procrastination est due à:
- des distractions
- de la volonté d’éviter la douleur ou les difficulté
- simplement un manque d’intérêt
(p. 130) ⭐ Une stratégie pour dompter la procrastination consister à alterner les activités que vous n’aimez pas et celles que vous appréciez d’avantage.
(p. 139) Un psychologue d’affaire peut vous épauler grâce à sa connaissance de la business, son habilité à prendre du recul et mesurer la pression et l’état de votre santé mentale.
(p. 145) ⭐ La vocation, c’est d’avoir comme métier sa passion.
(p. 147) Caractéristiques majeures de la douance:
- Fort potentiel intellectuel (+130 QI)
- Très forte sensibilité ou hypersensibilité
- Vitesse de traitement de l’information très rapide
(p. 147) La sensibilité accrue des personnes douées peut être un atout, surtout en ce qui concerne la gestion d’une équipe ou l’interaction avec des clients.
(p. 150) Le désir de perfection des doués peut être à double tranchant. Bien qu’il puisse conduire à des normes de qualité élevées, il peut également causer de l’anxiété et de l’épuisement.
(p. 150) La sensibilité qui rend les personnes douées si empathiques peut aussi les rendre plus vulnérables aux critiques. Apprendre à gérer cette sensibilité s’avère parfois crucial pour obtenir un succès entrepreneurial.
(p. 161) “La liste des tâches à faire, quand c’est moi qui les écris, ça change tout: je les termine!
(p. 161) ⭐ La douance est la rapidité dans la tête.
(p. 179) “If you have to fail, fail fast!”
(p. 191) ⭐ Le meilleur moyen de trouver du soutien est de parler de santé mentale avec son entourage.
(p. 191) ⭐ Il est impératif de faire part à nos proches de notre vulnérabilité et de leur permettre de nous accompagner dans nos moments difficiles.
(p. 192) Demander de l’aide doit être considéré comme un signe de force et non de faiblesse.
(p. 193) Vous avez embauché comptables, avocats et autres professionnels pour accomplir des tâches que vous ne pouvez pas faire vous-mêmes, alors, en quoi cela devrait-il être différent dans le domaine de la santé mentale?
(p. 195) Prenez soin de vous, et votre entreprise prendra soin d’elle-même.
(p. 195) 30% des start-ups échouent en raison de l’état émotionnel des fondateurs.
(p. 196) ⭐ L’insomnie et le manque de sommeil ne devraient jamais être pris à la légère.
(p. 197) En décidant de dormir moins pour travailler plus, les entrepreneurs créent les conditions de leurs propres échecs.
(p. 197) ⭐ Le sommeil est capital dans la maîtrise des émotions.
(p. 198) ⭐ Assurez-vous, dans votre routine d’avant-sommeil, d’éteindre votre téléphone et votre ordinateur au moins une heure avant d’aller dormir au lit.
(p. 200) Si vous êtes le plus grand atout de votre entreprise, il est donc logique de prendre soin de votre bien-être et de votre santé.
(p. 201) Manifester un style de vie positif aura un impact sur tous les aspects de votre entreprise. Cela incitera les membres de votre équipe et vos collègues à adopter la même approche.
(p. 202) Si votre identité est votre entreprise, vous risquez de souffrir lorsque vous la vendrez ou qu’elle ira mal.
(p. 214) ⭐ ⭐ Demander, “qu’est-ce qui t’empêche de dormir la nuit?” est la meilleure façon de savoir ce qui se passe dans la vie de quelqu’un, ce qui ne tourne pas rond chez lui.
(p. 217) Vous avez besoin de différents types de soutien dans votre entourage. Vous avez besoin de parler à des personnes qui vivent ou ont vécu ce que vous vivez et qui peuvent s’identifier à vous sur le plan émotionnel.
(p. 218) La solitude professionnelle conduit à l’épuisement professionnel.
(p. 218) Les relations humaines sont un besoin, et bâtir une communauté auprès de laquelle on peut demander du soutien est vital dans toutes les facettes de la vie.
(p. 223) Les investisseurs, dans leur processus d’intégration avec les fondateurs, devraient explicitement mentionner leur soutien à la recherche de services en santé mentale par les fondateurs quand ceux-ci se sentent obligés de le faire.
(p. 223) ⭐ Si vous souhaitez que les entrepreneurs parlent aisément de leur santé mentale, vous devez vous aussi être authentique et vulnérables devant eux.
(p. 223) Arrêtez de publier des messages sur les réseaux sociaux qui mettent en valeur le fait de travailler fort plutôt qu’intelligemment.
(p. 223) Vous avez dû investir massivement en vous-même pour survivre au voyage. Sans tomber dans le sensationnalisme, faites en sorte que ceux qui liront l’histoire de votre succès comprennent comment vous y êtes réellement arrivé.
(p. 224) Les budgets sont des documents moraux et ils fixent les priorités de l’entreprise. S’il n’y a rien pour soutenir le bien-être mental, physique et/ou émotionnel des fondateurs et des employés, alors l’entreprise sera dépourvue des ressources nécessaires pour fournir ce type de soutien.
(p. 225) Encourager les fondateurs à se verser un salaire, même s’il est modeste, est un premier pas essentiel. En offrant aux fondateurs la sécurité financière nécessaire pour payer leurs factures et protéger leur famille, vous éliminez une source majeure d’anxiété.
(p. 228) Lorsque vous croyez que l’un de vos entrepreneurs fait face à des défis de santé mentale, il est de votre responsabilité de prendre des mesures:
- Faites-lui comprendre que votre préoccupation va au-delà de l’impact sur l’entreprise, car vous êtes soucieux de son bien-être personnel.
- Évitez de lui faire sentir que son “état” vous inquiète uniquement en raison des répercussions financières possibles.
(p. 233) Votre rôle n’est pas de jouer au thérapeute, mais d’être une oreille attentive et un bon observateur vigilant. Si votre patron prend des décisions impulsives qui affectent négativement l’entreprise, une intervention discrète mais directe peut être nécessaire.
(p. 235)
- Il est impératif de reconnaître le courage d’un employé qui décide de se confier sur ses problèmes de santé mentale. Cela l’expose à une grande vulnérabilité et mérite d’être accueilli avec respect et sensibilité.
- Bien que vous soyez peut-être tenté de partager ce qu’on vous a confié avec d’autres membres de l’organisation, que ce soit pour vous rassurer vous-mêmes ou pour solliciter un avis, il est de votre responsabilité de protéger la vie privée de votre personnel et d’éviter toute forme de stigmatisation ou de jugement.
- ⭐ Dans certains cas, l’employé peut vous donner la permission ou même vous demander d’en informer les autres. Le cas échéant, assurez-vous de l’expliquer clairement dans toutes vos communications, pour que personne ne croie que vous parlez dans le dos de cet employé.
(p. 236) Il faut un courage énorme pour annoncer à son patron que l’on a des soucis de santé mentale. N’oubliez pas de remercier sincèrement cette personne de sa franchise tout en évitant de dramatiser la situation.
(p. 239) Il est naturel d’avoir envie de dire à un employé qui vient de se confier à vous que vous ferez tout pour l’aider. Cependant, vous devez rester attentif et mesuré. Il est possible que cette personne vous fasse part de ses inquiétudes simplement pour vous en informer, sans nécessairement s’attendre à des changements immédiats dans sa charge de travail ou son emploi du temps.
(p. 240) Lorsqu’un employé se confie sur ses problèmes de santé mentale, résistez à la tentation de ramener la conversation à vos propres expériences. Bien que vous ayez pu expérimenter des situations similaires, chaque personne vit et ressent ses troubles mentaux différemment. Il est donc important de ne pas supposer que vous comprenez pleinement ce qu’éprouve autrui.
(p. 242) ⭐ Si vous occupez un poste de haut niveau dans votre organisation, vous devriez considérer l’impact positif que peut avoir le partage de vos expériences personnelles en matière de santé mentale.
(p. 250) La santé mentale ne devrait pas être un sujet tabou. Chaque entrepreneur, quel que soit son niveau de réussite, peut éprouver des problèmes de santé mentale.

#80: Les Particules Elementaires

(p. 7) La vision du monde la plus couramment adoptée, à un moment donné, par les membres d’une société détermine son économie, sa politique et ses mœurs.
(p. 63) Une vie tendue vers un objectif laisse peu de place au souvenir.
(p. 68) Considérant le passé, on a toujours l’impression – probablement fallacieuse – d’un certain déterminisme.
(p. 82) Pour l’Occidental contemporain, même lorsqu’il est bien portant, la pensée de la mort constitue une sorte de bruit de fond qui vient emplir son cerveau dès que les projets et les désirs s’estompent.
(p. 107) Une génération est une communauté de destins.
(p. 112) Dans un monde qui ne respecte que la jeunesse, les êtres sont peu à peu dévorés.
(p. 120) En regardant les gens mourir du sida à la télévision, Michel croyait que la souffrance donnait à l’homme une dignité supplémentaire. Il s’était trompé. Ce qui donnait à l’homme une dignité supplémentaire, c’était la télévision.
(p. 160) De l’individualisme naissent la liberté, la sensation du moi, le besoin de se distinguer et d’être supérieur aux autres.
(p. 161) ⭐ En soi le désir – contrairement au plaisir – est source de souffrance, de haine et de malheur.
(p. 162) “Comment une société pourrait-elle subsister sans religion? Déjà, dans le cas d’un individu, ça paraissait difficile.”
(p. 169) Un mensonge est utile quand il permet de transformer la réalité; mais quand la transformation échoue, il ne reste plus que le mensonge, l’amertume et la conscience du mensonge.
(p. 178) “Bruno pouvait apparaître comme un individu, mais d’un autre point de vue il n’était que l’élément passif du déploiement d’un mouvement historique. Ses motivations, ses valeurs et ses désirs: rien de tout cela ne le distinguait, si peu que ce soit, de ses contemporains.”
(p. 179) Aucune mutation métaphysique ne s’accomplit sans avoir été annoncée, préparée et facilitée par un ensemble de mutations mineures, souvent passées inaperçues au moment de leur occurrence historique.
(p. 189) C’est probablement ça, la vieillesse: les réactions émotionnelles s’émoussent, on garde peu de rancunes et on garde peu de joies; on s’intéresse surtout au fonctionnement des organes, à leur équilibre précaire.
(p. 226) La traditionnelle lucidité des dépressifs, souvent écrite comme un désinvestissement radical à l’égard des préoccupations humaines, se manifeste en tout premier lieu par un manque d’intérêt pour les questions effectivement peu intéressantes. Ainsi peut-on, à la rigueur, imaginer un dépressif amoureux, tandis qu’un dépressif patriote paraît franchement inconcevable.
(p. 233) Les hommes ne font pas l’amour parce qu’ils sont heureux, mais parce qu’ils sont excités.
(p. 243) Plaisir demande finesse, sensibilité, lenteur.
(p. 245) Notre malheur n’atteint son plus haut point que lorsque a été envisagée, suffisamment proche, la possibilité pratique du bonheur.
(p. 247) La vie se caractérise par de longues plages d’ennui confus, elle est le plus souvent singulièrement morne; puis tout à coup une bifurcation apparaît, et cette bifurcation s’avère définitive [, permanente].
(p. 247) Jamais, à aucune époque et dans aucune autre civilisation, on n’a pensé aussi longuement et aussi constamment à son âge; chacun a dans la tête une perspective d’avenir simple: le moment viendra pour lui où la somme des jouissances physiques qui lui restent à attendre de la vie deviendra inférieure à la somme des douleurs.
(p. 248) Rien, y compris la mort, ne paraît aussi terrible que de vivre dans un corps amoindri.
(p. 250) Les enfants supportent le monde que les adultes ont construit pour eux, ils essaient de s’y adapter de leur mieux, par la suite, en général, ils le reproduisent.
(p. 257) Selon Auguste Comte (1798-1857, philosophe), la religion a pour seul rôle d’amener l’humanité à un état d’unité parfaite.
(p. 258) À partir du moment où on ne croit plus à la vie éternelle, il n’y a plus de religion possible.
(p. 270) ⭐ Aucune puissance économique, politique, sociale ou religieuse n’est capable de tenir face à l’évidence de la certitude rationnelle.
(p. 270) Ce qui décide de la valeur d’une religion, c’est la qualité de la morale qu’elle permet de fonder.
(p. 270) Les religions sont avant tout des tentatives d’explication du monde; et aucune tentative d’explication du monde ne peut tenir si elle se heurte à notre besoin de certitude rationnelle.
(p. 272) Le monde est égal à la somme des connaissances que nous avons sur lui.
(p. 287) Certains êtres vivent jusqu’à 70, voire 80 ans, en pensant qu’il y a toujours du nouveau, que l’aventure est, comme on dit, au coin de la rue; il faut en définitive pratiquement les tuer, ou du moins les réduire à un état d’invalidité très avancé, pour leur faire entendre raison.
(p. 291) Quelles que soient les qualités de courage, de sang-froid et d’humour qu’on a pu développer tout au long de sa vie, on finit toujours par avoir le cœur brisé. Alors, on arrête de rire. Au bout du compte, il n’y a plus que la solitude, le froid, le silence et la mort.
(p. 302) L’amour lie, et il lie à jamais. La pratique du bien est une liaison, la pratique du mal un déliaison. La séparation est l’autre nom du mal; c’est également l’autre nom du mensonge.

#81: She Comes First

(p. 23) Separate the concept of procreation from pleasure.
(p. 26) All of women’s orgasms are clitoral.
(p. 66) Fall asleep while holding her in your arms.
(p. 86) Savor, don’t suckle.
(p. 88) Don’t be threatened by what’s in her imagination.
(p. 207) Restraint (bondage) does not involve any pain or danger, but rather promotes trust and titillation.
(p. 92) One of the most underestimated and underutilized forms of erotic stimulation, a good solid foot massage floods the bloodstream with endorphins and energizes the entire body.
(p. 94) Don’t be a show-off. The approach to style is by way of plainness, simplicity, orderliness, sincerity.
(p. 98) If your attitude toward cunnilingus is “no pain, no gain”, the sentiment is appreciated, but entirely unnecessary.
(p. 111) Before starting and throughout the session, remind her of the Three Assurances:
- Going down on her turns you on, you enjoy it as much as she does.
- There’s no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment.
- Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence.
(p. 176) Whether married or not, great sex often comes from the appreciation of repetition and the enjoyment of what you have.
(p. 178) It’s in the moments subsequent to orgasm when a man proves whether or not he’s an “erotically civilized” adult. An extra 15 minutes spent cuddling, snuggling and whispering sweet nothings is the path to greatness.
(p. 184) Take a pleasure-oriented approach, not an orgasm-oriented one.
(p. 185) Routines

#82: Agile Estimating and Planning

(p. xxii) There are two types of uncertainty:
- Ends uncertainty: What do we really want to build?
- Means uncertainty: How are we going to build it?
(p. xxii) For most uncertainties (lack of knowledge) the only way to reduce the uncertainty and earn knowledge is to execute (do something, build something, simulate something) and then get feedback
(p. xxv) ⭐ Giving a product or project manager sage-like qualities to be able to foresee what others, who are experts in their own work, can really deliver is business suicide. This approach is really a way of saying yes to the business when asked to deliver on unrealistic goals.
(p. xxix) Planning is answering the question of “What should we build and by when?”
(p. xxix) To answer questions about planning we must also address questions of estimating (“How big is this?") and scheduling (“When will this be done?” and “How much can I have by then?")
(p. 4) During the feasibility phase of a project a schedule estimate is typically as far off as 60% to 160%. After the requirements are written, the estimate might still be off ±15%.
(p. 6) The most critical risk facing most projects is the risk of developing the wrong product.
(p. 6) A failed project is often one where no one came up with any better ideas than what was on the initial list of requirements.
(p. 8) Far too often a plan is reduced to a single date, and all of the assumptions and expectations that led to that date are forgotten.
(p. 8) A good plan is one that stakeholders find sufficiently reliable that they can use it as the basis for making decisions.
(p. 9) Plans are documents or figures; they are snapshots of how we believe a project might unfold over an uncertain future. Planning is an activity. Agile planning shifts the emphasis from the plan to the planning.
(p. 9) Just because we’re changing the plan does not mean we change the dates. We can:
- drop a feature
- reduce the scope of a feature
- add people to the project
(p. 12) Customers get no value from the completion of activities. Features are the unit of customer value.
(p. 12) Activity-based planning (as opposed to delivery-based planning) leads to schedule overruns because:
- activities don’t finish early
- lateness is passed down the schedule
- activities are not independent
(p. 12) Parkinson’s Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion (i.e. we take as much time to complete an activity as we think we’ll be allowed).
(p. 17) When features are not developed by priority, the team scrambles to meet the schedule by dropping features. Because there was no attempt to work on features by order of priority, some of the features dropped are of greater value than those that are delivered.
(p. 17) ⭐ The best way of dealing with uncertainty is to iterate.
(p. 18) ⭐ An estimate is a probability.
(p. 21) The Four Value Statements of the Agile Manifesto:
- Individuals and interactions > Processes and tools
- Working software > Comprehensive documentation
- Customer collaboration > Contract negotiation
- Responding to change > Following a plan
(p. 21) A well-functioning team of great individuals with mediocre tools will always outperform a dysfunctional team of mediocre individuals with great tools and processes.
(p. 23) Critical to the success of a project is that all project participants view themselves as one team aimed at a common goal.
(p. 25) For the product owner to have the most flexibility in prioritizing, features must be written so as to minimize the technical dependencies among them.
(p. 27)
- Traditional view of a project: running a 10 km race. You know how far the finish line is, your goal is to reach as quickly as possible.
- An agile project is to run as far as possible in 60 minutes. The team knows when they will finish, but not what they will deliver.
(p. 28) The planning onion:
- Strategy
  - Portfolio
    - Product
      - Release (this is where the horizon of the agile team begins)
        
        Iteration
        
        Day
(p. 45) Managers are able to work an average of only 5 minutes between interruptions.
(p. 61) We should re-estimate size only when we believe a story’s relative size has changed.
(p. 67) ⭐ Failure to learn is the only true failure.
(p. 69) If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you’ll be amazed at the results.
(p. 70) An estimate expressed in story points has a longer shelf life than an estimate in ideal days, because ideal days can change based on the team’s experience.
(p. 81) The best way to reduce the cost of change is to implement a feature as late as possible. ❓
(p. 82) The flip side of acquiring knowledge is reducing uncertainty.
(p. 85) Prioritization of features:
1. The high-value, high-risk features should be developed first. These features deliver the most value, and working on them eliminates significant risks
2. Next are high-value, low-risk features. Since they are less risky, they can be done later in the schedule.
3. Finally, do low-value, low-risk features. They will have less impact on the total value of the product if they are dropped.
4. ❌ Skip low-value, high-risk features completely.
(p. 95) The drive to improve operational efficiencies often comes from anticipated growth.
(p. 123) Typical ways to split a story:
- along the boundaries of the data supported by the story
- along the boundaries of the common CRUD operations
  - create
  - read
  - update
  - delete
- along priorities, if the smaller stories have different priorities
(p. 126) ⭐ Make it work, then make it faster.
(p. 128) Delivering a cohesive subset of all layers of a feature is almost always better than delivering all of one layer.
(p. 134) During release planning, don’t plan which dev will work on which user stories or tasks, or the sequence in which the work will be performed. These details are best left to the individuals working on those tasks and best deferred as long as possible.
(p. 134) Items in a release plan are user stories, which are descriptions of the functionality to be delivered, not individual engineering tasks to be performed.
(p. 137) A good PO will accept ultimate responsibility for prioritizing but will listen to advice from the development team, especially about sequencing.
(p. 150) ⭐ The Iteration Review Meeting is held after an iteration is finished. New functionalities and capabilities added during the iteration are demonstrated to the people below. They may be seeing the results of the iteration for the first time. They will often have good new ideas that could preempt previously high-priority items:
- stakeholders
- the extended project community
- anyone else interested
(p. 151) An iteration review will typically take 30 to 60 minutes.
(p. 152) The iteration goal is a unifying statement about what will be accomplished during the iteration. It does not have to be very specific, e.g. “Make progress on reports.”
(p. 153) The goal of each iteration is to:
- produce a potentially shippable product
- take care to include tasks for testing
- documenting the product
(p. 169) It is important that the product owner not change priorities during the iteration and that she help protect the team from others who may attempt to change priorities. The length of time that priorities can go unchanged is a factor in selecting the iteration length.
(p. 169) ⭐ The time from “new idea” to “working software” will be an average of 1.5 x the length of the team’s iteration.
(p. 177) Questions to ask to know if you can trust historical velocity:
- Is the technology the same?
- Is the domain the same?
- Is the team the same?
- Is the PO the same?
- Are the tools the same?
- Is the working environment the same?
- Were the estimates made by the same people?
(p. 177) ⭐ The cone of uncertainty says the actual duration of a project will be between 60% and 160% of our prediction. To multiply a single-point average velocity into a range, divide it by 0.6 and 1.6.
(p. 182) Individuals spend 55% to 70% of their time on project activities.
- A large bureaucracy will be at the low end
- A start-up will be at the high end
(p. 183) Plan on completing ten pomodori (5 hours) per day.
(p. 183) Select stories until one skill set on the team can’t handle any more work. Add up the story points or ideal days for the work selected and that is the team’s possible velocity.
(p. 187) ⭐ To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous.
(p. 189) Dynamic Systems Development Method: Requirements are sorted into 4 categories (below). No more than 70% of the planned effort for a project can be targeted at Must Have requirements.
- Must Have
- Should Have
- Could Have
- Won’t Have
(p. 217) “Complete” means code that is:
- well written
- well factored
- checked in
- clean
- complies with coding standards
- passes all tests
(p. 231) ⭐ On a project, it is far more useful to know how much remains to be done rather than how much has been done.
(p. 232) Do not track individual velocity. Measuring individual velocity gives the incentive of finishing one’s own work over helping someone else. Individuals should be given every incentive possible to work as a team.
(p. 232) Most user stories should be written such that they need to be worked on by more than one person.
(p. 235) ⭐ The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.
(p. 235) Frequent communication about plans is important because of how often an agile plan is updated.
(p. 241) End of iteration summary
(p. 253) Eliminate all WIP at the start of each iteration. Work on a feature not fully implemented in one iteration will not necessarily be continued in the next (often will be, but no guarantee). Each iteration is planned afresh253) Eliminate all WIP at the start of each iteration. Work on a feature not fully implemented in one iteration will not necessarily be continued in the next (often will be, but no guarantee). Each iteration is planned afresh.
(p. 254)
- End uncertainty (about the product ultimately being built) is reduced as product increments are shown to potential users and other stakeholders at the end of each iteration.
- Means uncertainty (about how the product will be built) is reduced as the team learns more about the technologies in use and themselves.
(p. 254) ⭐ The more responsibilities are shared by the team, the more success the team will have to share.
(p. 254) Keep estimates of size and duration separate by using different units.
(p. 254) Estimating size in story points and translating size into duration using velocity is an excellent way of doing this.
(p. 254) Be sure to include an expression of uncertainty (either the functionality or the date) in any release plan you produce.
(p. 255) Take advantage of the start of each new iteration to assess the relevancy of the current release plan.
(p. 288) Note who is planning to be gone during the iteration, and for how many days.

#83: L’Intelligence émotionnelle

(p. 7) Il est difficile de se mettre en colère pour des motifs valables et contre qui le mérite, au moment et durant le temps voulu.
(p. 10) Intelligence émotionnelle: La maîtrise de soi, l’ardeur et la persévérance, et la faculté de s’inciter soi-même à l’action.
(p. 11) À l’origine de toute pulsion se trouve un sentiment qui cherche à se traduire en acte.
(p. 11) Quiconque est esclave de ses pulsions souffre d’une déficience morale.
(p. 11) ⭐ Être insensible aux besoins ou au désespoir d’un autre, c’est ne pas savoir aimer.
(p. 11) ⭐ Notre époque exige deux attitudes morales: la retenue et la compassion.
(p. 12) Parce que nos circuits cérébraux sont d’une souplesse extraordinaire, tempérament n’est pas synonyme de destinée.
(p. 23) Nous possédons deux esprits: l’un pense, l’autre ressent.
(p. 28) Le néocortex apporte la capacité d’avoir des sentiments par rapport à nos sentiments.
(p. 31, 33) L’amygdale est le siège de la mémoire affective; sans elle, la vie perd son sens. Elle réagit instantanément aux choses qu’on déteste, qu’on redoute, ou qui peuvent nous nuire.
(p. 39) Les souvenirs fortement émotionnels peuvent aussi être de mauvais conseillers sur le moment.
(p. 42) ⭐ Ce que l’on gagne en vitesse se perd en précision.
(p. 54) ⭐ L’intelligence théorique ne prépare pas l’individu à affronter les épreuves de l’existence et à saisir les opportunités qui se présentent.
(p. 63) Quiconque est aveugle à ce qu’il ressent est à la merci de ses sentiments.
(p. 63) ⭐ Le contrôle de ses émotions – le fait d’être capable de remettre à plus tard la satisfaction de ses désirs et de réprimer ses pulsions – est la base de tout accomplissement.
(p. 73) Somatiser: Confondre une douleur affective avec un mal physique
(p. 73) Ne pas disposer de mots pour exprimer ses sentiments est comme ne pas avoir de sentiments.
(p. 75) Pour rendre plus saines nos décisions personnelles, il faut être en accord avec nos propres sentiments.
(p. 80) Les petits enfants en bonne santé psychologique se calment eux-mêmes en se traitant comme le font ceux qui prennent soin d’eux.
(p. 80) On maîtrise peu ou pas le moment où l’on se laisse emporter par nos émotions, ou la nature de celles-ci. En revanche, on peu en limiter la durée.
(p. 82) ⭐ La colère n’est jamais sans raison, mais c’est rarement la bonne raison.
(p. 82, 84) Remâcher sa colère attise celle-ci, alors que changer de perspective éteint les flammes. La colère se nourrit d’elle-même.
(p. 89) Laisser éclater sa colère est l’un des pires moyens pour se calmer. La personne finit par être plus en colère qu’avant.
(p. 92) Les insomniaques sont des anxieux chroniques.
(p. 95) En général, la tristesse est l’état d’esprit dont on s’efforce le plus de se libérer. C’est lorsqu’ils tentent de se défaire de leur mélancolie que les gens se montrent les plus inventifs.
(p. 96) Dans la dépression profonde, la vie est paralysée; aucun nouveau commencement n’est possible.
(p. 97) Il peut être extrêmement utile de réfléchir aux causes profondes d’une dépression, si cela conduit à des idées/actions permettant de modifier la situation. En revanche, se plonger passivement dans sa tristesse ne fait que l’aggraver.
(p. 99, 100) Les individus déjà en proie à la dépression doivent fixer leur attention sur quelque chose de réjouissant et éviter de choisir une distraction risquant de plomber leur moral, comme un roman tragique ou un film triste. Les distractions brisent la chaîne des pensées qui alimentent la tristesse.
(p. 101) Se gratifier d’un petit succès facile est une façon efficace de se remonter le moral, par exemple en s’acquittant d’une tâche que l’on remettait depuis longtemps.
(p. 102) La dépression se nourrit de ruminations et de préoccupations centrées sur soi-même. Aider les autres et partager leur peine sont des moyens de s’en débarrasser. Ainsi, le bénévolat serait l’un des remèdes les plus efficaces contre la mélancolie.
(p. 111) La capacité de retarder la satisfaction de ses pulsions détermine le succès de ce que l’on entreprend.
(p. 112) L’intelligence émotionnelle est une métafaculté qui détermine dans quelle mesure l’individu saura tirer parti de ses capacités.
(p. 113) Plus un individu est enclin à se faire du souci, moins il réussit dans ses études.
(p. 114) Quand nous sommes préoccupés par la crainte de l’échec, notre attention est d’autant moins disponible pour rechercher les bonnes réponses.
(p. 115) Lorsque nous sommes de bonne humeur, nous nous souvenons mieux des événements positifs. Cela nous incite davantage à nous lancer dans une entreprise légèrement risquée ou aventureuse.
(p. 115) La mauvaise humeur donne à notre mémoire un tour négatif et nous incite ainsi à prendre des décisions timides, trop prudentes.
(p. 115) L'espérance, c’est le fait de croire que l’on possède à la fois l’envie et les moyens d’atteindre les objectifs que l’on se fixe, quels qu’ils soient.
(p. 115) Espérer, c’est refuser de céder à l’anxiété, de baisser les bras ou de déprimer quand on est confronté à des difficultés ou à des découvertes.
(p. 118) L'optimisme, c’est la ferme conviction que, de façon générale et en dépit des revers et des déconvenues, les choses finissent par s’arranger.
(p. 118) L’optimisme est payant pourvu qu’il reste réaliste. Un optimisme naïf peut être désastreux.
(p. 118) L'optimiste considère qu’un échec est toujours dû à quelque chose qui peut être modifié de sorte à réussir le coup suivant. Les pessimistes se reprochent leur échec et l’attribuent à un trait de caractère non modifiable.
(p. 119) ⭐ C’est la combinaison d’un talent raisonnable et de la ténacité qui est la clé du succès.
(p. 123) La fluidité (“flow state”) apparaît dans une zone délicate délimitée par l’ennui et l’anxiété.
(p. 126) Les élèves qui réussissent à l’école sont plus souvent attirés par l’étude parce que celle-ci leur permet d’atteindre l’état de fluidité (“flow state”).
(p. 128) L’empathie repose sur la conscience de soi; plus nous sommes sensibles à nous propres émotions, mieux nous réussissons à déchiffrer celle des autres.
(p. 133) Ce qui détermine comment les enfants, devenus adultes, envisagent les relations affectives avec leurs proches est la répétition d’innombrables instants d’harmonie ou de déphasage avec leurs parents.
(p. 134) ⭐ Si l’on se contente d’imiter un bébé, cela veut simplement dire que l’on sait ce qu’il a fait, pas ce qu’il éprouve. Pour lui faire comprendre que l’on sait ce qu’il ressent, il faut exprimer soi-même d’une autre manière les sentiments de l’enfant. Celui-ci sait alors qu’il a été compris.
(p. 149) Pour être réceptif aux autres il faut un minimum de calme intérieur.
(p. 150) En matière d’éducation des sentiments, les émotions sont à la fois le moyen et le message.
(p. 150) Si le parent se montre sévère, exigeant et froid lorsqu’il dit à son enfant de “sourire et de dire merci”, l’enfant risque d’en tirer une toute autre leçon.
(p. 152) Les personnes capables d’aider les autres à apaiser leurs soucis possèdent une marchandise sociale très prisée: c’est vers elles que l’on se tourne dans les moments difficiles.
(p. 153) Lors d’une interaction entre deux personnes, le transfert de l’humeur va de l’individu le plus expressif vers l’individu le plus passif.
(p. 154) Que les gens se sentent optimistes ou abattus, plus leur interaction est physiquement synchronisée, plus leurs humeurs deviendront similaires.
(p. 154) Un niveau élevé de synchronie signifie que les personnes concernées s’apprécient.
(p. 154) ⭐ ⭐ L’efficacité des rapports interpersonnels tient en partie à l’adresse dont les gens font preuve pour établir une synchronie émotionnelle.
(p. 154, 155) ⭐ Donner le la émotionnel d’une interaction est un signe de domination à un niveau profond, intime: c’est être capable de gouverner l’état émotionnel de l’autre. La domination émotionnelle est au cœur de l’influence.
(p. 156) Les composants de l’intelligence interpersonnelle:
- L’aptitude à organiser des groupes
- La capacité à négocier des solutions (permet de prévenir les conflits ou de les résoudre)
- La capacité à établir des relations personnelles: éprouver de l’empathie et communiquer
- La capacité d’analyse sociale: percevoir les sentiments, les motivations et les préoccupations des autres
(p. 159) ⭐ Les bases de la civilité:
- Parler de manière directe aux autres quand ils s’adressent à nous
- Aller vers les autres et ne pas toujours attendre qu’on vienne à soi
- Entretenir une conversation et ne pas se contenter de répondre par oui ou par non
- Exprimer de la gratitude
- Céder aimablement le passage
- Attendre que les autres se soient servis avant de se servir soi-même
- Remercier
- Dire “s’il vous plaît”
- Partager
(p. 160) Les gens qui ne connaissent pas les règles tacites de l’harmonie sociale sont non seulement incapables de la moindre subtilité sociale, mais aussi de bien réagir aux émotions des autres. Ils sèment le trouble dans leur sillage.
(p. 161) Vous ne pouvez empêcher votre visage ou vos gestes d’exprimer vos sentiments, ni dissimuler le ton de votre voix.
(p. 163) Les péchés cardinaux menant à un rejet (c’est ce que tentent de faire les enfants impopulaires dans le but d’attirer l’attention):
- Le fait de vouloir prendre trop tôt la direction du jeu (ou de l’activité)
- Le fait de sortir du cadre de référence
(p. 172) Les garçons se sentent menacés par tout ce qui risque de mettre en péril leur indépendance. Les filles craignent davantage une rupture de leurs liens.
(p. 173) Pour les femmes, l’élément essentiel pour qu’une relation soit satisfaisante est qu’il y ait une “bonne communication” au sein du couple. Pour les épouses, “intimité” signifier discuter, surtout du couple lui-même.
(p. 174) Les femmes sont plus sensibles à une expression de tristesse sur le visage d’un homme que ne le sont les hommes sur celui d’une femme. Il faut donc qu’une femme soit très triste pour qu’un homme y prête simplement attention et plus encore pour qu’il l’interroge sur la cause de son chagrin.
(p. 174) ⭐
- Ce ne sont pas des questions spécifiques comme:
  - la fréquence des rapports sexuels
  - l’éducation des enfants
  - les finances du ménage
- qui font qu’un mariage marche ou non. C’est plutôt la manière dont les époux débattent de ces questions sensibles qui est déterminante pour le destin d’un mariage.
(p. 174) ⭐ ⭐ Le seul fait de se mettre d’accord sur la façon de gérer les désaccords est essentiel à la survie conjugale.
(p. 176) Les critiques acerbes sont l’un des premiers signes que le couple est en danger.
(p. 176) ⭐ Énonce spécifiquement ce qui te contrarie et mets en cause l’action de l’autre (et non sa personnalité) en exprimant les sentiments que cette action a suscités chez toi.
(p. 177) Quand un mari manifeste régulièrement du mépris envers son épouse, celle-ci est davantage prédisposée à divers problèmes de santé.
(p. 177) Lorsque le visage d’une femme exprime le dégoût au moins quatre fois durant une conversation de 15 minutes, c’est le signe que le couple risque fort de se séparer dans les quatre prochaines années.
(p. 178) Le mur du silence est la défense ultime. Quand elle devient habituelle, cette attitude est dévastatrice pour le couple; elle supprime toute possibilité de régler les accords.
(p. 185) Colère et mécontentement ne sont pas synonymes de critiques personnelles.
(p. 185) ⭐ Les maris capables de rester avec leur femme quand elle est furieuse au lieu d’ignorer ses récriminations lui permettent de sentir écoutée et respectée. Une épouse veut que ses sentiments soient reconnus et respectés, même si son mari n’est pas de son avis.
(p. 185) Les femmes ne doivent pas s’en prendre au caractère du mari, mais expliquer clairement en quoi telle ou telle action les contrarie.
(p. 186) Le sentiment d’être entendu est précisément ce que cherche le conjoint contrarié, et un tel acte d’empathie est de nature à réduire la tension.
(p. 187) Il n’y a pas d’intelligence émotionnelle sans une bonne gestion de ses pulsions.
(p. 188) Si vous détectez durant une discussion que votre pouls est une dizaine de pulsations au-dessus de la normale, il est recommandé de s’isoler pendant une vingtaine de minutes pour se calmer avant de reprendre la discussion.
(p. 188) ⭐ Convenir que l’un ou l’autre des conjoints pourra demander une “suspension de séance” dès que les premiers signes d’ébullition (submersion) font leur apparition est une bonne idée.
(p. 188) Des pensées comme “Je n’en peux plus” ou “Je ne mérite pas qu’on me traite ainsi” sont caractéristiques de celui qui s’estime injustement accusé, se prend (“victime innocente” ou en proie à une “indignation légitime”). En s’emparant de ces pensées et en les mettant en question (au lieu de se sentir blessé par elles ou de s’emporter), l’individu commence à s’en libérer.
(p. 190) L’idéal est d’écouter sans se tenir sur la défensive en étant attentif aux sentiments cachés derrière les paroles de l’autre.
(p. 190) Méthode du miroir: Lorsque l’un des conjoints émet une doléance (plainte), l’autre la reformule en ses propres termes, en essayant de saisir non seulement la pensée, mais aussi les sentiments qui lui sont associés. Le fait d’être “reflété” avec exactitude procure non seulement le sentiment d’être compris, mais encore celui d’être en harmonie.
(p. 190) L’explication en XYZ: “Quand tu as fait X, j’ai ressenti Y, et j’aurais préféré que tu fasses Z.”
(p. 191) Au minimum, légitimer le point de vue de l’autre exige de montrer qu’on écoute et qu’on n’ignore pas les sentiments exprimés par l’autre, même si l’on n’est pas d’accord.
(p. 193) Le manque d’intelligence émotionnelle dans le travail a un coût qui peut finir par compromettre l’existence de l’entreprise.
(p. 194) Le stress rend les gens idiots.
(p. 194) Diriger, ce n’est pas dominer, c’est savoir persuader les autres de travailler pour atteindre un but commun.
(p. 194) Rien n’est plus important que le fait de savoir quels sont nos sentiments profonds quant à notre travail et quels changements pourraient le rendre plus satisfaisant.
(p. 195) ⭐ La critique est l’une des tâches les plus importantes des dirigeants. Sans feed-back, l’individu ne sait pas ce que pensent ses supérieurs ou ses collègues, il ignore ce qu’on attend de lui, et les problèmes ne peuvent que s’aggraver avec le temps.
(p. 196) La manière dont les critiques sont formulées et perçues par les gens est en grande partie ce qui fait qu’ils se sentent satisfaits ou non de leur travail.
(p. 196) ⭐ Pour motiver quelqu’un, présentez les critiques comme des problèmes à résoudre.
(p. 198) Si le patron ne dit pas ce qu’il pense rapidement, sa frustration s’accumule lentement. Un jour il finit par exploser. S’il avait formulé ses critiques plus tôt, l’employé aurait été en mesure de remédier au problème.
(p. 198) Une critique habile est un des messages les plus utiles qu’un supérieur puisse émettre. Une bonne critique insiste sur ce que la personne a accompli et sur ce qu’elle peut encore accomplir. Elle doit indiquer un moyen de régler le problème, sinon le destinataire se sentira frustré, démoralisé et démotivé.
(p. 199) ⭐ La croyance de base qui conduit à l’optimisme est que les revers ou les échecs résultent de circonstances que nous pouvons modifier.
(p. 200) Quand vous recevez une critique, considérez-la comme une information précieuse qui vous permettra de vous améliorer, et non comme une attaque personnelle. Si l’expérience est trop éprouvante, il vaut mieux demander le report de la discussion, le temps de “digérer” les remarques et de se calmer un peu.
(p. 202) Psychologiquement, le prix de la fidélité à un groupe est l’antipathie vouée à un autre.
(p. 203) Les gens se souviennent plus aisément de ce qui renforce un stéréotype et ne tiennent pas compte de ce qui le met en question.
(p. 205) Les stéréotypes s’effritent lorsque les gens œuvrent en commun sur un pied d’égalité pour réaliser un objectif commun.
(p. 206) Avec la spécialisation de la connaissance, l’unité de travail passe de l’individu à l’équipe.
(p. 207) ⭐ La clé d’un QI collectif élevé est l’harmonie sociale.
(p. 209) Les meilleurs travaillent avec plus de facilité parce qu’ils consacrent du temps à cultiver de bonnes relations avec des gens dont ils pourront avoir besoin dans des moments critiques. Ils se donnent ainsi les moyens de créer instantanément une équipe ad hoc pour résoudre un problème ou surmonter un crise.
(p. 209) L’organisation officielle du travail est conçue pour venir à bout des problèmes aisément prévisibles. Les réseaux informels de l’organisation opèrent en diagonale et en ellipse, enjambant les barrières pour que le travail s’accomplisse.
(p. 210) ⭐ Les meilleurs éléments d’une organisation sont bien souvent ceux qui sont étroitement connectés à tous les réseaux, qu’ils soient:
- réseau de communication
- réseau d’expertise
- réseau de confiance
(p. 212) Notre bien-être mental est en partie fondé sur l’illusion de notre invulnérabilité.
(p. 216) Le stress supprime la résistance immunitaire dans le but d’économiser l’énergie afin d’affronter en priorité la situation d’urgence immédiate. Si le stress est intense et constant, la suppression peut devenir durable.
(p. 218) La colère semble être l’émotion qui endommage le plus le cœur.
(p. 221) L’empathie est un bon remède pour la colère.
(p. 221) ⭐ La confiance est l’antidote de l’agressivité.
(p. 230) ⭐ La relation qui tient le plus de place dans votre vie, celle avec les gens que vous voyez du matin au soir, est aussi la plus importante pour votre santé.
(p. 232) Tous les cancéreux devraient participer à des groupes de discussion pour s’épancher auprès de gens qui comprennent leur peur, leur douleur et leur colère.
(p. 236) ⭐ La compassion, c’est plus que du réconfort. C’est un bon médicament.
(p. 244) ⭐ Les 7 composants liés à l’intelligence émotionnelle qui sont à la base de la capacité d’apprendre:
- Confiance: Croire qu’on a plus de chances de réussir que d’échouer dans ce que l’on entreprend et les adultes/supérieurs vous aideront et vous conseilleront
- Intentionnalité: Croire qu’on a la capacité de produire un effet désiré
- Maîtrise de soi: Sentiment de contrôle intérieur
- Capacité d’entretenir des relations: Sentiment d’être compris et de comprendre les autres
- Aptitude à communiquer: Sentiment de confiance dans les autres et plaisir d’être lié aux autres, y compris les adultes/supérieurs
- Coopérativité: Trouver un juste équilibre entre ses besoins et ceux des autres dans les activités de groupe
(p. 247) Le manque d’attention de la part des autres peut être plus dévastateur qu’un mauvais traitement.
(p. 254) Les actes de violence sont plus pernicieux que les catastrophes naturelles. Les victimes de violence ont l’impression d’avoir été intentionnellement choisies comme cibles. Ce sentiment anéantit leur confiance dans les autres.
(p. 256) Le PTSD entraîne un abaissement dangereux du seuil neuronal de déclenchement de l’alarme, qui conduit l’individu à réagir dans des circonstances ordinaires comme s’il s’agissait de situations critiques.
(p. 257) C’est au moment où l’on a l’impression que sa vie est en danger et que l’on ne peut rien faire pour y échapper que commence la modification problématique du cerveau (PTSD).
(p. 262) On peut guérir des traumatismes graves comme ceux à l’origine du PTSD. Le chemin de cette guérison passe par un réapprentissage.
(p. 263) L’art, qui est un moyen d’expression de l’inconscient, permet d’accéder à l’image figée dans l’amygdale.
(p. 264) L’expression artistique permet parfois aux enfants d’évoquer un moment d’horreur dont ils sont incapables de parler. Le simple fait de dessiner a une valeur thérapeutique; il amorce le processus de maîtrise du traumatisme.
(p. 267) Les patients ont besoin de faire le deuil de la perte provoquée par le trauma, qu’il s’agisse de:
- une blessure
- la mort d’un proche
- la fin d’une relation
- le regret de ne pas avoir fait le nécessaire pour sauver quelqu’un
- la confiance perdue en autrui
(p. 280) En protégeant son petit enfant hypersensible contre tout ce qui pourrait le frustrer et le contrarier, la mère aggrave apparemment son manque d’assurance et aboutit à un résultat opposé à celui recherché.
(p. 283) La psychothérapie est un réapprentissage émotionnel systématique.
(p. 284) ⭐ Dans le domaine des émotions, une des choses les plus importantes c’est de savoir se consoler soi-même lorsqu’on a du chagrin.
(p. 285) Les enfants sont plus à même de supprimer l’activité stimulant l’amygdale (menant à une amélioration du comportement) lorsque leurs parents:
- éduquent leurs émotions
- parlent de leurs sentiments en expliquant comment les comprendre
- ne s’érigent pas en juges et ne se montrent pas critiques
- les aident à résoudre leurs problèmes psychologiques
- ⭐ leur expliquent qu’il existe d’autres réactions possibles que la violence ou le repli sur soi
(p. 297) Contrairement aux garçons, les adolescentes rebelles ne deviennent pas violentes; elles tombent enceintes.
(p. 297) Les actes antisociaux d’un enfant de cinq ans pourraient bien être les prototypes de ceux que commettra l’adolescent délinquant.
(p. 300) Chez les jeunes, les problèmes relationnels sont souvent à l’origine de la dépression.
(p. 310) Certains obèses sont incapables de faire la différence entre un sentiment de frayeur, la colère et la faim, et les considèrent en bloc comme révélateurs du besoin de manger, ce qui les conduit à se suralimenter chaque fois qu’ils se sentent contrariés.
(p. 314) C’est avec nos premiers amis que nous apprenons à gérer nos relations intimes. Un seul ami peut tout changer, même si les autres vous tournent le dos (et même si cette amitié n’est pas des plus solides).
(p. 318) Le désir impérieux de trouver le calme semble être un indicateur psychologique d’une prédisposition à l'alcoolisme. L’autre voie conduisant à l’alcoolisme a pour point de départ l’agitation, l’impulsivité et l’ennui.
(p. 319) Ceux qui se tournent vers l’alcool le font plus souvent pour calmer leur anxiété que pour lutter contre la dépression. Les déprimés recourent plus volontiers à des stimulants comme la cocaïne.
(p. 324) L’enfant apprend à prendre des décisions appropriées en commençant par contrôler la pulsion qui le pousse à agir, puis en inventoriant les actions possibles et leurs conséquences avant de passer à l’acte.
(p. 325) Une manière intéressante de prendre les présence: Au lieu de répondre “présent”, les gens annoncent un chiffre selon leur humeur de un à dix (représentant la hauteur de leur moral). Lorsque l’un d’eux annonce une note très basses (1, 2, 3, …) on lui demande s’il souhaite dire ce qui ne va pas, mais on ne le force jamais à en parler s’il n’a pas envie. Il peut alors raconter ses soucis et peut-être trouver le moyen de s’en débarrasser.
(p. 333) La colère est presque toujours une réaction secondaire et il faut rechercher ce qui se cache derrière: Es-tu froissé? Jaloux?
(p. 333) Nous avons toujours le choix entre diverses manières de réagir à une émotion, et plus que nous en connaissons de différentes, plus notre vie s’enrichit.
(p. 337) Les enfants agressifs se mettent en colère et deviennent violents parce qu’ils prennent à tort des signes et des expressions neutres pour des marques d’hostilité.
(p. 337) Les filles souffrant de troubles alimentaires sont incapables de distinguer la colère, l’anxiété et la faim.
(p. 345) La colère est une émotion normale, mais certains réactions sont anormales.
(p. 353) Un autre mot pour désigner l’intelligence émotionnelle est le caractère. Le caractère est le muscle psychologique nécessaire à une conduite morale. ⭐ L’affermissement du caractère conditionne l’existence des sociétés démocratiques.
(p. 357) Classification des émotions
(p. 361) Les actions déclenchées par l’esprit émotionnel s’accompagnent d’un sentiment de certitude particulièrement fort, sous-produit d’une perception simplifiée, économique, qui est parfois absolument déconcertante pour l’esprit rationnel.
(p. 364) Les grands maîtres spirituels, comme Bouddha et Jésus, ont touché le cœur de leurs disciples en parlant le langage des émotions, en enseignant par paraboles, en racontant des fables et des histoires.
(p. 364) Les rêves sont mythes personnels. Les mythes sont des rêves partagés.
(p. 365) ⭐ Ce que nous rappelle une chose peut être beaucoup plus important que ce qu’elle “est.”
(p. 365) L’esprit émotionnel tient ses convictions pour des vérités absolues et ignore tout ce qui pourrait démontrer le contraire.
(p. 365) Les sentiments s’autojustifient par un ensemble de perceptions et de “preuves” qui leur sont propres.

#84: Overcoming Learning Anxiety

Mental healing requires acknowledgement, and acknowledgement requires knowledge of the problem. The anxious learner is less likely to learn about their condition, because the idea of learning feels unsafe to them in the first place. It is a sadly ironic predicament.
Anyone can experience learning anxiety and solving it requires a system of your own creation that will make learning a joyful experience to you
Learning anxiety comes from being afraid to try something new for fear that it will be too difficult, that we will look stupid in the attempt, or that we will have to part from old habits that have worked for us in the past.
Learning anxieties are the basis for resistance to change.
“I had to overcome my learning anxiety in order to learn that this was exactly the problem holding me back.”
The path to mastery of any type involves traversing the Dunning-Kruger graph.
Books are punching bags. If someone was standing in a gym next to their punching bag, you would probably understand that whatever damage the bag exhibits went directly into making that person stronger.
Don’t think of books as decorations; think of them as food that nourishes your soul.
Stop respecting books, and start respecting how your brain learns.
When you listen passively to the radio while driving, all your mind really records is the ads.
We learn by doing.
You should never have to read a book or textbook more than once. If you take good notes, once you finish a book, you can consider yourself done with it.
“My library, if I were to have one, would be filled by books I wrote, and empty of books I read.”
Each humbling failure is a step closer to mastery, and rejoice that you are making real progress.
Highlight whatever golden nuggets of information you find interesting
Reading diagonally is often tempting; writing diagonally is much more difficult to pull off.
The goal of producing complete notes is to allow you to unshackle from the book and claim this knowledge as your own.
“The only time I’ll rephrase something is if I can make it shorter, or if I find the original sentence hard to understand.”
The only sustainable competitive advantage is your ability to learn faster than the competition.
A book you chose almost certainly contains parts of the answer to the question that made you choose it.
We are all lifelong learners. If you want to learn about something, you can do it.
Nobody gets used to feeling dumb.

#85: Collaborating Across Silos

(p. 4) Team members collaborate more easily and naturally if they perceive themselves as being alike.
(p. 5) The greater the proportion of experts a team has, the more likely it is to disintegrate into non-productive conflict or stalemate.
(p. 6) A team’s success or failure at collaborating reflects the philosophy of top executives in the organization.
(p. 8) The perceived behavior of senior executives plays a significant role in determining how cooperative teams are prepared to be.
(p. 10) ⭐ Having first-name acquaintance with people across the company brings a sense of dynamism to interactions.
(p. 11) Two HR programs that improve team performance:
- Training in skills relative to collaborative behavior
- Support for informal community building
(p. 17) To transfer skills across business functions or units, move entire small teams intact instead of reshuffling individuals into new positions. The group formed would be composed of small pods of colleagues from each area. This ensures that key heritage relationships continue to strengthen over time.
(p. 17) Heritage relationships in a team initially increase the chance of success, but there is a caveat. When a significant number of people within the team know one another, they tend to form strong subgroups, which increases the probability of conflict among fault lines.
(p. 18) Collaboration improves when the roles of individual team members are clearly defined and well understood. Individuals feel that they can do a significant portion of their work independently.
(p. 23) The higher the proportion of people who don’t know anyone else on the team and the greater the diversity, the less likely the team members are to share knowledge.
(p. 36) ⭐ “Ask why five times”: Saying B causes A is simplistic. The chain of thought required to discover that C –> B and D –> C quickly takes you into a new domain, probably someone else’s. Rather than concoct complex solutions within their own domains, engineers must seed simple ones beyond them.
(p. 36) ⭐ Doing the 5 whys is not about depth at all – it’s about breadth.
(p. 41) Monetary carrots and accountability sticks motivate people to perform narrow, specified tasks but generally discourage people from going beyond them. Admiration and applause are far more effective stimulants of above-and-beyond behavior.
(p. 43) Factors that drive up trust:
- With their reputations at stake, people are less likely to act opportunistically
- With the same information available to everyone, there is less chance that one party will exploit another’s ignorance.
- With a common vocabulary and way of working, fewer misunderstandings occur.
(p. 43) Where trust is the currency, reputation is the source of power.
(p. 43) ⭐ There is more power in being an information source than an information sink.
(p. 44)
- The classical sources of transaction costs:
  - mutual vulnerability in the face of uncertainty
  - conflicting interests
  - unequal access to information
- –> Low transaction costs buy more innovation than do high monetary incentives.
(p. 46) Organizations that are able to substitute trust for contracts gain more from the collaboration than they lose in bargaining power.
(p. 47) ⭐ Let everybody see everybody’s real work. Let people learn to filter and sort for themselves. Don’t abstract, summarize or channel. Fodder is good.
(p. 49) ⭐ The network is the innovator. Take averagely talented people and make them work as spectacular teams.
(p. 53) ⭐ You can’t improve collaboration until you’ve addressed the issue of conflict.
(p. 55) Conflict management works best when the parties involved in a disagreement are equipped to manage it themselves.
(p. 65) To prevent conflict deadlock, don’t simply kick the issue up to your manager. Present the disagreement jointly to the boss(es). This will guarantee that the ultimate decision maker has access to a wide array of perspectives on the conflict, its causes, and the various ways it might be resolved.
(p. 67) ⭐ In a complex organization where many issues have significant implications for numerous parts of the business, unilateral responses to unilateral escalations are a recipe for inefficiency, bad decisions, and ill feelings.
(p. 69) Clear communication about the resolution of the conflict can increase people’s willingness and ability to implement decisions. Failing to take the time to explain how a decision was reached and the factors that went into it squanders a major opportunity.
(p. 74) People who need to collaborate more effectively usually don’t need to align around and work toward a common goal. They need to quickly and creatively solve problems by managing the inevitable conflict so that it works in their favor.
(p. 75) ⭐ Even the most carefully constructed incentives won’t eliminate tensions between people with competing business objectives. Ironically, focusing on incentives as a means to encourage collaboration can end up undermining it.
(p. 108) ⭐ A history of independence often leads to protectionist behavior.
(p. 111) Treat your workers the way you want them to treat your customers.
(p. 112) The softer cooperation-promoting measures can’t take hold if the harder ones (power structures, metrics, incentives) don’t reinforce them.
(p. 117) Companies must develop attractive career paths that give emerging generalist stars a sense of identity and a clear route for advancement.
(p. 133) Try to eliminate the peer group meetings that are held just for the purpose of saying “We had a peer group meeting.”
(p. 143) Knowledge-sharing activities should focus on business results rather than social events.
(p. 143) Achieving results together creates a track record showing that people are really helping one another.
(p. 143) ⭐ Trust is a byproduct of effective collaboration.
(p. 144) ⭐ Human portals are people who can use their extensive knowledge about who knows what and their understanding of what actually is needed to creatively make connections between information seekers and information holders. They can save senior executives the struggle of maintaining relationships created from overnetworking.
(p. 149) Meetings are a problem when we use them to agree to disagree and schedule another meeting.
(p. 153) One of the rarest managerial skills is the ability to understand which tools will work in a given situation and which will misfire.
(p. 154) The primary task of management is to get people to work together in a systematic way.
(p. 158) Elements of the four types of cooperation tools :
- Power
- Management
- Leadership
- Culture
(p. 161) ⭐ A wise manager in a low-consensus environment would not agree to lead a change program without the authority to wield the right power tools
(p. 164) ⭐ Culture is a pattern of shared basic assumptions that was learned by a group as it solved its problems of external adaptation and internal integration, that has worked well enough to be considered valid and, therefore, to be taught to new members as the correct way to perceive, think, and feel in relation to those problems.
(p. 164) Companies with strong cultures in many ways can be self-managing. This very strength can make such organizations highly resistant to change.
(p. 165) As the company succeeds, employees who fit with the ways of working, and who want what senior management wants, tend to be promoted.
(p. 165) Success is the mechanism that builds consensus around what people want and how they can get it.
(p. 177) ⭐ Creating a virtuous spiral of trust, group identity, and group efficacy requires a team atmosphere in which the norms build the ability to respond constructively in emotionally uncomfortable situations and influence emotions in constructive ways.
(p. 177) Personal competence comes from being aware of and regulating one’s own emotions.
(p. 177) Social competence is awareness and regulation of others' emotions.
(p. 179) ⭐ Picking up on defensiveness is necessary if the team wants to make understand its desire to amplify good work, not negate it.
(p. 179) ⭐ A more emotionally intelligent group would pause first to hear out an objection instead of moving to a majority vote in the interest of expedience. Or, it would ask, “Are there any perspectives we haven’t heard yet or thought through completely?” even if there appeared to be consensus.
(p. 181) Inevitably, a team member will indulge in behavior that crosses the line, and the team must feel comfortable calling the foul.
(p. 181) Done right, confrontation can be seen in a positive light; it’s a way for the group to say, “We want you in – we need your contribution.” Without confrontation, disruptive behavior can fester and erode a sense of trust in a team.
(p. 182) When an individual is upset, it make make all the difference to have the group members acknowledge that person’s feelings.
- For example, in a meeting, a team member arrived angry because the time and place were inconvenient. Another member announced the sacrifice the man had made to be there and thanked him. The man’s attitude turned around 180 degrees.
(p. 183) Some teams suffer because they aren’t aware of emotions at the group level.
(p. 185) Consciously resist the temptation to join the complaining and blaming and instead try to reverse the cycle with a positive, constructive note.
(p. 186) A team in control of its own emotions refuses to feel powerless and is eager to take charge.
(p. 190) Great design is best accomplished through the creative function of diverse teams and not the solitary pursuit of brilliant individuals.
(p. 193) Novelty ideas to create interpersonal understanding:
- having a meeting without a table
- conducting an inventory of team members' various learning styles
(p. 196)
- Group emotional intelligence leads to:
  - Trust, identity, efficacy, which leads to:
    - Participation, cooperation, collaboration, which leads to:
      - Better decisions, more creative solutions, and higher productivity.
(p. 196) Group emotional intelligence is not about a team member working all night to meet a deadline; it is about saying thank you for doing so. It is not about in-depth discussion of ideas; it is about asking a quiet member for their thoughts.
(p. 197) ⭐ Assume that undesirable behavior takes place for a reason. Find out what the reason is. Ask questions and listen. Avoid negative attributions.
(p. 199) ⭐ ⭐ When harmony is false, tension is unexpressed and builds up.

#86: L’Univers de la possibilité

(p. 23) Tout est inventé. La vie tout entière nous apparaît sous une forme narrative; c’est une histoire que nous racontons.
(p. 29) Chaque problème auquel nous nous trouvons confrontés dans la vie ne paraissent insolubles que lorsqu’ils sont prisonniers d’un cadre de référence ou d’un point de vue particulier.
(p. 45) ⭐ Lorsque vous faites une erreur, levez la main, souriez, et dites: “Comme c’est fascinant!” pour ensuite rediriger votre attention sur ce qui compte vraiment.
(p. 50) Le rôle du professeur est d’aider ses étudiants à éliminer les obstacles qui nuisent à leurs dons et à leur capacité d’expression.
(p. 54) ⭐ Un cynique est une personne passionnée qui ne veut pas être déçue une deuxième fois.
(p. 54) Le secret n’est pas de s’attarder au cynisme d’une personne, mais de miser sur sa passion.
(p. 59) ⭐ Lorsque nous choisissons de donner un A à l’autre, nous nous ouvrons à une perspective différente de la nôtre.
(p. 65) Qui se retirerait du monde, sinon une personne qui sent qu’elle n’a rien de bon à offrir?
(p. 68) ⭐ Nous faisons tant d’efforts dans la vie pour trouver le “véritable message”, mais nous n’arrivons pas à voir que ce message est tout autour de nous, en nous, en tout temps. Il suffit que nous cessions d’exiger qu’il se manifeste selon nos critères.
(p. 69) La seule grâce que vous pouvez obtenir est celle que vous pouvez imaginer.
(p. 73) ⭐ Remplacez les questions “Est-ce assez?” et “Suis-je aimé pour ce que je suis et ce que j’ai accompli?” par “En quoi serai-je une contribution aujourd’hui?"
(p. 99) Règle numéro 6: Ne vous prenez donc pas tant au sérieux!
(p. 117) Ce qui nous semble parfois menaçant (la non-appartenance, la non-autonomie) n’est souvent qu’une illusion qui ne vaut pas de prendre au sérieux.
(p. 123) ⭐ Troquez le mais pour un et, par exemple “Nous passons nos vacances à la plage et il pleut.” Être en harmonie, c’est être libre de passer à la question suivante: “Que voulons-nous faire à partir de là?"
(p. 124) En incluant les erreurs dans notre définition du rendement, nous aurons moins tendance à y attacher d’importance et nous pourrons même en tirer un enseignement.
(p. 127) Éliminer les échappatoires, c’est vivre avec ses sentiments, quels qu’ils soient.
(p. 127) Les sentiments sont des “muscles”: plus vous éliminez les échappatoires, plus grand sera le poids émotionnel que vous serez en mesure de soulever.
(p. 150) Partagez ce qui provoque en vous une étincelle et soyez toujours persuadé que les autres sont avides de capter cette étincelle.
(p. 173) “Comment décrirais-je la situation si je faisais abstraction de mes interprétations?”
(p. 185) L’amour est un contexte dans lequel deux personnes construisent la vie qu’ils veulent vivre ensemble.
(p. 189) ⭐ Le leader fait appel à notre passion plutôt qu’à notre peur.
(p. 196) Une vision répond à un besoin fondamental de l’humanité, la question “Et moi dans tout ça?”
(p. 201) Parlez aux gens de sorte à ne jamais regretter ce qui pourrait être les dernières paroles que vous leur adressez.
(p. 205) “Je suis ici aujourd’hui pour traverser le marécage et non pour combattre les alligators.”
(p. 206) Si nous laissons notre lumière briller, nous donnons inconsciemment aux autres la permission de faire de même
(p. 209) L’exercice du NOUS:
1. Racontez l’histoire du NOUS – l’histoire des liens invisibles qui nous relient tous
2. Posez les questions suivantes:
  - Qu’est-ce que NOUS voulons voir se produire ici?
  - Qu’est-ce qui est le plus avantageux pour NOUS DEUX?
  - Quelle est NOTRE prochaine étape?
(p. 217) Jamais nous n’avons besoin de qualifier d’ennemi un être humain.

#88: The Mountain Is You

(p. 8) You must mourn the loss of your younger self, the person who has gotten you this far but who is no longer equipped to carry you onward.
(p. 11) Self-sabotage is simply the presence of an unconscious need that is being fulfilled by the self-sabotaging behavior. It is a coping mechanism that comes from irrational fear.
(p. 17) Criticism comes with creating anything for the public and isn’t a reason to not do it.
(p. 18) Even though we think we’re after happiness, we’re actually trying to find whatever we’re most used to.
(p. 21) The first step in healing anything is taking full accountability.
(p. 21) The greatest act of self-love is to no longer accept a life you are unhappy with.
(p. 28) Overcoming self-sabotage is not about trying to figure out how to override your impulses; it is first determining why those impulses exist in the first place.
(p. 28) Self-sabotage is not a way we hurt ourselves; it’s a way we try to protect ourselves.
(p. 31) Playing small allows you to evade scrutiny.
(p. 34) We are not really wired to be happy; we are wired to be comfortable.
(p. 34) In uprooting, you are jumping from relationship to relationship instead of confronting relationship issues when they arise. You are not allowing yourself to blossom; you are only comfortable with the process of sprouting.
(p. 37) Don’t worry about writing a bestseller, just write.
(p. 37) Instead of having something done perfectly, focus on just getting it done.
(p. 37) If you don’t get started, you’ll never arrive.
(p. 43) When you find yourself struggling with something, you have to ask yourself: “Do I actually want to do this?”
(p. 45) ⭐ If you learn to love others, you will learn to love yourself.
(p. 48) ⭐ Don’t see your success as a differentiator. That will always make you feel bad and uncomfortable. Instead, see success as a tool that can do important and positive things in the world and your own life.
(p. 50) The idea of having “made it” makes us afraid that we are reaching the pinnacle and therefore will fall off if it.
(p. 53, 54) People who are constantly “busy” are running from themselves. Nobody is “busy” unless they want to be busy. Being “busy” is not a virtue; it only signals to others that you do not know how to manage your time or your tasks.
(p. 56) You should leave a get-together feeling energized and inspired, not exhausted and angry.
(p. 63)
- ⭐ If your subconscious core commitment is to be in control, your core need is trust.
- If your subconscious core commitment is to be needed, your core need is wanted.
- ⭐ If your subconscious core commitment is to be loved by others, your core need is self-love.
(p. 64) ⭐ The only issue that has ever really existed in your life is living out of alignment with your core needs and, therefore, your core purpose.
(p. 68) Your emotions are not always an accurate reflection of reality, but they are always valid and need to be validated.
(p. 74) Sadness is the normal and correct response to the loss of something you very much love.
(p. 74) ⭐ Sadness does not release itself all at once. It happens in waves, sometimes unexpectedly.
(p. 74) ⭐ Crying at appropriate times is one of the biggest signs of mental strength, as people who are struggling often find it difficult to release their feelings and be vulnerable.
(p. 77) Other people are under no obligation to live up to our ideas of them.
(p. 77) We imagine that if we are worried, anxious or angry about a potential threat, it will remain within our awareness and therefore cannot surprise us. This is derailing our lives right now, because we are channeling our energy into something that is outside of our control.
(p. 81) An incomplete list of valid needs:
- To feel validated
- To feel the presence of another person
- To feel wanted
- To feel secure
(p. 82) Often, the first reason we start neglecting our essential needs is because we think we are weak for having them.
(p. 84) No outward accomplishment is going to give you a true and lasting sense if inner peace.
(p. 86) The happier you are with something, the less you need other people to be.
(p. 93) ⭐ Your feelings, while valid, are not always accurate reflections of reality. They are accurate reflections of your thoughts.
(p. 93) Our thoughts change our feelings. Our thoughts do not change our instincts.
(p. 103) Self-sabotage is just a product of low emotional intelligence.
(p. 104) Emotional intelligence is the ability to interpret the sensations that come up in your body and understand what they are trying to tell you about your life.
(p. 105) Neurologically, when we get something we really want, we just start to want more.
(p. 105) Dopamine is the chemical that gives you the pleasure of wanting more.
(p. 108) When we are so deeply enmeshed in the feeling of “wanting,” it becomes hard to adjust to the experience of “having.”
(p. 108) ⭐ Any change, no matter how positive, is uncomfortable until it is also familiar.
(p. 111) It’s not radical moments of action that give us long-lasting, permeating change – it’s the restructuring of our habits.
(p. 112) The outcomes of life are not governed by passion, they are governed by principle. We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from those actions are controlled by principles.
(p. 115) Those who can’t help but create problems in their minds often do so because they have ceased creative control of their existence. They think that life happens to them, rather than being the product of their actions.
(p. 115) Adversity makes you creative.
(p. 117) The expectation that a positive event will eliminate all stress and bring unprecedented happiness is a destructive one, because the event rarely does that (e.g. weddings, childbirth, pay raise, new job, etc.)
(p. 119) Big achievements actually pressure us to become increasingly better versions of ourselves. They are a not positive for our lives, but can be just as uncomfortable as struggling was, if not more.
(p. 120) Psychic thinking is assuming you know what somebody else is thinking or what they intend to do.
(p. 121) Psychic thinking detaches us from reality. It is biased toward what we want to believe.
(p. 121) Instead of feeling like we are having a down day, psychic thinking makes us assume we are having a terrible life.
(p. 123) ⭐ “This moment is not my life. It is a moment in my life.”
(p. 126) ⭐ When you experience a logical lapse, the climax of your story-telling becomes the conclusion.
(p. 127) Mental strength is believing that we have the capacity to handle things going wrong.
(p. 129) When you’re very anxious, your brain is taking an often innocuous stimulus and extracting some kind of meaning or prediction from it.
(p. 130) The more you avoid a fear, the more intense it becomes.
(p. 130) Faulty inference: When you come up with a false conclusion based on valid evidence.
(p. 132) Crisis is not necessary for an artist to function.
(p. 141) Just because an experience has ended doesn’t mean it’s over.
(p. 142) ⭐ Instead of accepting the ways we think life did not work out, we have to be able to see what was at the core of our desire and figure out a way to still give ourselves that experience now.
(p. 145) A mind stuck in the past doesn’t want to return there. It was impacted more deeply than you realized and the aftershocks are still rippling through you.
(p. 147) You can’t wait for everything to be perfect to be happy. You change your life when you start showing up exactly as you are.
(p. 150) Nature depends on imperfection.
(p. 151) When something is right for you, it brings you clarity. When something is wrong for you, it brings you confusion.
(p. 152) You can fall in love with potential and confuse it with reality.
(p. 153) What is not right for you does not remain with you because you don’t want it, and so you don’t choose it.
(p. 154) Trauma is what happens when something scares you and you do not get over that fear. Trauma is the experience if disconnecting with a fundamental source of safety.
(p. 179) Trauma happens most severely when our attachment to our primary caretakers is compromised.
(p. 156) Recovery comes down to restoring the feeling of one’s safety.
(p. 157) You must reestablish a feeling of safety in the exact area of life that traumatized you.
(p. 161) Stop meditating to feel calm; start meditation to just feel.
(p. 162) Use breath scans to find residual tension in the body. Breathe in and out slowly, and without taking a break between breaths.
(p. 165) Positive disintegration is when we must adapt our self-concept to become someone who can handle, if not thrive, in the situation we are in.
(p. 168)
- Fear is not going to protect you. Action is.
- Worrying is not going to protect you. Preparing is.
- Overthinking is not going to protect you. Understanding is.
(p. 170) People who have truly transformed are not concerned solely with how things appear. Their lives are now focused intently on how things feel.
(p. 170) Prioritize your heart over someone else’s eyes.
(p. 172) ⭐ You have nobody to prove wrong but yourself.
(p. 180,212) The point of meditation is to make yourself quiet enough so that the lake in you comes back to its natural stillness. We can use the ripples at the top of the water to trace back down to the problem at the bottom.
(p. 188) ⭐ Validating feelings means you remind someone that it is human to feel things they don’t always understand. Instead of trying to strategize, just say, “that must really suck.”
(p. 190) When someone is complaining about something simple – and they seem to be doing it more than the situation calls for – they aren’t trying to get your help about a small issue. They are trying to have their feelings validated.
(p. 191) Validating your feelings is just letting yourself have them.
(p. 203) Your purpose doesn’t require you to be the best at something. It is the things that naturally call you, that effortlessly flow out of you, and that evoke specific emotions from you.
(p. 209) In the healing process, suppressing and controlling can seem like a fine line. Suppressing is unconscious. Controlling is conscious.
(p. 212) Behind the goal of happiness is a lingering sense of unhappiness. That’s how balance and duality works. Inner peace is the state between the scales. (p. 214) When we begin to trust our thoughts, we let them inform our feelings. The combination of the two makes the situation feel real.
(p. 215) Our thoughts are not always reflective of reality and should be used as more of suggestions than anything else.
(p. 217) Your happiness has never come from things being perfect on the outside, but from you being present and open and connected to yourself and to the moment.
(p. 220) ⭐ When you are consistently worrying and overthinking, it’s because you don’t have a plan regarding the thing that’s making you scared.
(p. 227) Talk it out, because things are often more complicated in your head.
(p. 230) When you’re struggling, the most insulting and difficult thing that someone can tell you is to “just relax,” or “just enjoy yourself.”
(p. 230) Ironically, many people who struggle emotionally are, at their core, people who actually just have a greater desire to enjoy life.
(p. 231) Happiness is your natural state. You will return to it on your own if you allow the other feelings to come up, be felt and processed, and not resisted.
(p. 232) ⭐ ⭐ Connecting with others is not just spending time with them; it has to do with not trying to dominate, impress, or create an emotional reaction in someone.
(p. 234) Think of life as something you can constantly learn from.
(p. 235) Genuinely happy people are more at peace than they are ecstatic about everything they experience.
(p. 239) One day, the mountain that was in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. But who you will become in learning to climb it will stay with you forever.

#89: Man’s Search for Meaning

(p. x) Three possible sources of meaning:
- in work (doing something significant)
- in love (caring for another person)
- in courage during difficult times, which may turn a tragedy into a triumph
(p. x) You can’t control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.
(p. 66) ⭐ Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.
(p. 67) The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails gives him ample opportunity to add a deeper meaning to his life.
(p. 72) Often it is an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself.
(p. 72) ⭐ Life is like going at the dentist. You always think that the worst is still to come, and yet it is over already.
(p. 73) “I succeeded in rising above the sufferings of the moment. I observed them as if they were already in the past.”
(p. 74) Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.
(p. 76) ⭐ He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.
(p. 77) It does not really matter what we expect from life, but rather what life expects of us.
(p. 77) We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who are being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talks and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct.
(p. 77) Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
(p. 78) There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.
(p. 80) A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life.
(p. 82) ⭐ That which does not kill me makes me stronger.
(p. 82) What you have experienced, no power on earth can take from you.
(p. 83) Human life, under any circumstances, never ceases to have a meaning, and this infinite meaning of life includes suffering and dying, privation and death.
(p. 102) A man’s concern, even his despair over the worthwhileness of life is an existential distress but by no means a mental disease.
(p. 103, 104) There is nothing in the world that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is meaning in one’s life.
(p. 106) ⭐ Mankind is doomed to vacillate eternally between the two extremes of distress and boredom.
(p. 107) The frustrated will to meaning is vicariously compensated for by a will to power, a will to money, and the will to pleasure. That is why existential frustration often eventuates in sexual compensation. Sexual libido becomes rampant in the existential vacuum.
(p. 108) The meaning of life differs from person to person, from day to day, and from hour to hour. What matters is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.
(p. 109) Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.
(p. 110) The true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche.
(p. 110) The more one forgets himself – by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love – the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself.
(p. 110) ⭐ Self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.
(p. 112) When we are no longer able to change a situation (e.g. incurable disease), we are challenged to change ourselves.
(p. 113) Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.
(p. 113) In no way is suffering necessary to find meaning. Meaning is possible even in spite of suffering – provided that the suffering is unavoidable. To suffer unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.
(p. 119) Procreation is not the only meaning of life, for then life in itself would become meaningless, and something which in itself is meaningless cannot be rendered meaningful merely by its perpetuation.
(p. 122) “Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, though these are things which cannot inspire envy.”
(p. 122) Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself.
(p. 125) The neurotic who learns to laugh at himself may be on the way to self-management, perhaps to cure.
(p. 132) ⭐ Freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness.
(p. 159) “I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.”
(p. 139) Once an individual’s search for a meaning is successful, it not only renders him happy but also gives him the capability to cope with suffering.
(p. 160) One’s approach to everything from life-threatening challenges to everyday situations helps to shape the meaning of our lives.
(p. 162) ⭐ “I do not forget any good deed dome to me, and I do not carry a grudge for a bad one.”

#90: Letters on Ethics

(p. xiv) The most precious thing of all, and the only truly precious thing, is #self-control.
(p. xv) Internal #freedom is true freedom.
(p. xviii) #logic – Carrying logical precision to excess is futile: it does not make a person any better.
(p. xxiii) #Tragedy is what happens when chance events befall fools.
(p. 13) #wisdom – The wise person’s most characteristic affective response is a deep and heartfelt sensation of #joy.

Book 1

(p. 26) #poverty – A person is not poor, as long as what little he has left is enough for him.
(p. 26) The first sign of a settled mind is that it can stay in one place and spend time with itself.
(p. 27) #poverty – The pauper (extremely poor) is not the person who has too little but the one who desires more.
(p. 28) #admission ⭐ Live in such a way that anything you would admit to yourself could be admitted even to an enemy. With a friend, though, share all your concerns, all your thoughts. If you believe him loyal, you will make him so.
(p. 30) No good thing benefits us while we have it unless we are mentally prepared for the #loss of it.
(p. 30) No one has ever reached a point where the #power #fortune granted was greater than the #risk.
(p. 31) ⭐ Anyone who is on good terms with #poverty is rich.
(p. 32) Our way of life should be one that everyone can admire without finding it unrecognizable.
(p. 32) Limiting one’s #desires is beneficial also as a remedy for fear. Where #hope goes, #fear follows.
(p. 34) #company – No good is enjoyable to possess without a companion.
(p. 34) #independance – The man who has begun to be a friend to himself will never be alone.
(p. 34) ⭐ Spend your #time with those who will improve you; extend a welcome to those you can improve.
(p. 39) What #fortune makes your own is not your own. The good that can be given can be taken.
(p. 44) #enough – Anyone who does not think that he has plenty is miserable, even if he is ruler of the entire world.
(p. 46) #freedom – You are free of all #desires when you get to the point that you no longer ask God for anything except what you could ask for openly.
(p. 46) Live with humans as if God may be watching; Speak with God as if humans may be listening.
(p. 46) We need a person who can set the standard for our conduct. You will never straighten what is crooked unless you have a ruler.

Book 2

(p. 52) All the things that make people sigh and groan are minor matters and not worth thinking about.
(p. 52, 85) ⭐ Don’t be #miserable before it is #time. It is foolish to be miserable now just because you are going to be miserable later on. The things you #fear as if they were impending may never happen; certainly they have not happened yet.
(p. 55) One of the evils of #foolishness is always beginning. (#dunning-kruger). What is more shameful than an old man making a beginning on life?
(p. 57) ⭐ The wise person will never provoke the #anger of those in #power, but will steer clear of it, just as one steers clear of a storm at sea.
(p. 57) #ownership – Do not possess anything worth stealing.
(p. 57) Being considered superior is just as harmful as being despised.
(p. 58) The wise person will not disturb the customs of the public, and neither will he draw attention by a strange manner of living.
(p. 59) ⭐ The wise person considers #intention, rather than outcome, in every situation.
(p. 59) #wealth – He enjoys riches most who has least need of riches.
(p. 61) #progress – When you see how many people are out ahead of you, think of how many are behind, and remember how you have surpassed yourself.
(p. 61) Set a #goal that you could not exceed even if you wanted to.
(p. 62, 73) #Philosophy consists not in words but in actions. It will teach you to follow God and to cope with chance. Philosophy teaches us to act, not to speak.
(p. 63) ⭐ If you live according to nature, you will never be poor; if according to opinions, you will never be rich.
(p. 64) From possessions and #wealth, you will learn only how to desire more.
(p. 65) Even if something prevents you from having a good living, nothing prevents you from having a good #death.
(p. 66) ⭐ ⭐ What is #enough is the same in every age.
(p. 67) Test #poverty and say to yourself, “Is this what I was afraid of?”
(p. 67) #preparation ⭐ A time when the mind of free of anxieties is the very time when it should prepare itself for adversity, otherwise it will be alarmed in a crisis.
(p. 71) As long as nothing is #enough for you, you will not be enough for anyone else.
(p. 71) It is the high places that get struck by lightning. The more you achieve, the more you will have to #fear.
(p. 72) #company – Look to your dinner companions rather than your dinner, for feeding without a friend is the life of a lion or a wolf.
(p. 73) ⭐ #Wisdom is always wanting the same thing and always rejecting the same thing.
(p. 74) #Poverty will show you who your friends are.
(p. 77) #wealth – To make someone rich, do not add to his money; subtract from his desires.

Book 3

(p. 80) No one has to run after #prosperity.
(p. 81) #letting-go – As long as you hang on to the suitcase, you cannot swim to safety.
(p. 83) ⭐ One who makes light of #death, opens his home to #poverty, reins in #pleasure and rehearses the endurance of #pain will experience #joy that cannot be run out of.
(p. 89) The #death we fear is our last one, but not our only one.
(p. 91, 92) Let everything you do be done as if watched by someone while you go about making yourself the person in whose company you would not dare to do wrong.
(p. 92) #solitude – The time to be by yourself is especially when you are compelled to be in a crowd.
(p. 98) ⭐ #Awareness of wrongdoing is the starting point of healing, for he who does not know that he is doing wrong does not wish to be set right.
(p. 100) ⭐ “Never have I wished to please the populace, for it does not approve of my knowledge and I have no knowledge of what it does approve.
(p. 101) ⭐ What matters is not how you seem to others but how you seem to yourself.

Book 4

(p. 104) ⭐ It is #uncertainty that frightens us.
(p. 105) If you want never to be afraid of #death, think about it always.
(p. 106) #life-goal – There is no reason for you to choose your wish, your aim, from among the things your parents prayed long ago for you to have.
(p. 107) #wisdom – The truly wise man does not fear the things he avoids nor admire the things he chooses.
(p. 107) #work – A real man is not afraid of sweat.
(p. 107) #ownership – #Money will not make you equal to a god: God owns nothing.
(p. 109) ⭐ Once one possesses #happiness, duration does not make it any happier.
(p. 122, 123) #speak #speech You will be right to disregard those who care about how much they say rather than how well, and to prefer, if you must, to speak haltingly. Just as a man of wisdom should be modest in his manner of walking, so should his speech be restrained, not impetuous. Speak slowly.
(p. 124) ⭐ A golden bridle does not improve the horse.

Book 5

(p. 128) Once a person possesses himself, then nothing is ever lost to him.
(p. 129) ⭐ A good conscience welcomes a crowd; a bad one is racked with anxiety even in solitude.
(p. 129) #family Philosophy has no regard for the family tree. No ancestor lived his life just for us to brag about him. What happened before our time does not belong to us.
(p. 132)
- A charming enemy comes as a friend
- Faults creep in calling themselves virtues
- Temerity cloaks itself with the name of courage
- Cowardice gets called moderation
- Timidity passes itself off as caution
(p. 137) #opportunity Good materials often go to waste for lack of a skilled craftsman.
(p. 137) No servitude is more shameful than the kind we take on willingly (lust, greed, ambition, hope, fear).
(p. 138) Not everything that offends us is harmful to us.
(p. 139) ⭐ If you want to live for yourself, you must live for another.
(p. 144) ⭐ Straightforward is the speech of truth.
(p. 145) #introspection What you think are flaws in your situation are in fact flaws in yourself.
(p. 146) It is characteristic of a mind that is weak and ill to fear what it has not yet experienced.
(p. 148) “If I yield to pleasure, I must yield to pain, to toil, to poverty.”
(p. 149) Pleasures embrace us just to throttle us. Make them your worst enemies.
(p. 150) #grit There is no shame in overcoming the shortcomings of your own nature and making your way toward wisdom by dragging yourself there.
(p. 151) Nothing could be more shameful than philosophy that hungers for applause.
(p. 151) #praise Be glad to be praised by people only if you are able to praise them in return.

Book 6

(p. 154) #mental-health With infirmities that affect the mind, the worse one is afflicted, the less he is aware of it.
(p. 154) #mental-health Admitting to one’s faults is a sign of health.
(p. 157) Soft living punishes us with #weakness: after refusing to do a thing for some time, we cease to be able to do it.
(p. 157) ⭐ #Fear looks to the cause rather than the effect.
(p. 169) Every moment is the #death of our previous condition.
(p. 175) Flattery makes a fool of every one of us.
(p. 175) ⭐ The result of #wisdom is steadiness of #joy.
(p. 175) Seeking #pleasure everywhere is not #wise and brings no #joy.
(p. 176) A person is not capable of #joy unless he is brave, just, and temperate.
(p. 176) What #fortune did not grant, fortune does not take away.

Book 7

(p. 177) A person is #alive when he is of use to many and to himself.
(p. 178) Make an effort never to do anything against your #will.
(p. 178) If you can follow an order gladly, you keep your sense of #freedom.
(p. 178) ⭐ When makes people miserable is acting against their #will (it is not acting under orders).
(p. 190) ⭐ Nature made some people as they are just to prove that there is nowhere #virtue cannot be born.
(p. ?) You will not feel #loss if you accept it before it happens.
(p. ?) Your dead #friends live inside you.
(p. 195) No one loves his homeland because it is great, but only because it is his.
(p. 201) ⭐ It’s not the #discomforts that are #desirable but the #virtue with which you bear those discomforts.
(p. 202) ⭐ If #courage is #desirable, then enduring #torture patiently is desirable, for that is part of courage.
(p. ?) A life free of #challenges is not tranquility, it is #enfeeblement.
(p. ?) Pride in #leisure is vain.
(p. 206) “I’d rather have your forgiveness for my #leisure than your envy.”
(p. 208) #death When you die, what you leave behind is not your own.

Book 8

(p. 210) #death #Fortune can do nothing to a person as long as he knows how to die.
(p. ?) #Retirement is a period for self-introspection.
(p. ?) #time A good life is not always long, and a long life is not always good.
(p. 213) The great man is not the one who merely commands his own death but the one who actually finds a death for himself.
(p. 214) It is wrong to steal the means of living, but very fine to steal the means of dying. That could prevent a suicide or a murder.
(p. 217) That which is, will not be. (The only constant is #change.)
(p. 218) #honor Honorable #life is not a greater good than honorable #death: #virtue does not admit of augmentation.
(p. 219) #Virtue is straight; it does not admit of curvature.
(p. ?) A bad event becomes good it it teaches us to rise above it.
(p. ?) #despise Accepting being despised is a pre-requisite to #happiness.
(p. 220) The man of #wisdom knows his own #strength; he knows that he exists for the bearing of #burdens.
(p. 220) ⭐ The truly happy person of accomplished virtue loves himself most when he has met some challenge with exceptional courage.
- “What good work!” > “What good fortune!”
(p. 221) #imperfection What is #imperfect cannot but stumble.
(p. ?) The #fault lies with us, not #circumstances.
(p. ?) If we mistake a person making progress for a sage, the fault is ours.
(p. 323) ⭐ There is no time that is not well suited to #study, yet there are many who fail to study when caught up in the problems that give one reason to study.
(p. 224) #Health of body is a temporary condition. But when the mind is healed, it is once and for all.
(p. 224) ⭐ That to which any addition can be made is not #complete, and that which can suffer diminution is not #eternal.
(p. 230) To preserve #values, one must endure many things that are regarded as bad and forgo many #indulgences that are regarded as good.
(p. 232) ⭐ Everything #courage has won, #intemperance has destroyed.
(p. 235) ⭐ Both the #past and the #future are absent; we have no sensation of either. And where you have no sensation, there is no source of pain.
(p. ?) We expose ourself to fortune (chance) when we forget that #virtue is the highest good.

Book 9

(p. 236) #speaking ⭐ Our words should provide benefit rather than delight.
(p. 237) The happy person is not the one who knows but the one who performs.
(p. 239) Just being one’s own person is #wealth beyond measure.
(p. 239) #learning ⭐ What could be more foolish than failing to learn a thing simply because you haven’t learned it earlier?
(p. 240) #living You should keep #learning how to live for as long as you live.
(p. 240) #ignorance ⭐ The #criticism of ignorant people is not something to get upset about.
(p. 240) No one attains #wisdom merely by chance. #Virtue will not just happen to you.
(p. 243) The sole good is that by which the #mind is made better.
(p. ?) #Virtue persists if it is the end goal.
(p. 250) #time #Life is like a play: what matters is not how long the show goes on but how well it is acted.
(p. 251) #courage There are times when just continuing to live is a courageous action.
(p. 253) #loss ⭐ There is no bitterness in being deprived of what you no longer want.
(p. 256) #privation ⭐ Everything that comes after a period of privation is received with more #delight.
(p. 257) #learning #education A single day gives more time to the educated than the longest of lives for the untutored.
(p. 259) ⭐ #Glory is the shadow of #virtue; it accompanies it even when it is not wanted.
(p. 262, 263) #poverty #wealth – The #poor person laughs often and from the heart. The #happiness of those fashionable people carried above the heads of the crowd is just them playing a part.

Book 10

(p. 268) #help – Everyone who helps another person helps himself.
(p. 268) ⭐ No one values #virtue more or is more devoted to it than who has lost their good #reputation in order to keep a good #conscience.
(p. ?) ⭐ The #reward for #right action is having acted rightly.
(p. ?) ⭐ Undying #delight is not in #receiving but in having received.
(p. 271) Be #calm, but not soft.
(p. 271) #Leisure without #study is like being buried alive.
(p. 275) #Death is not evil. It is indifferent.
(p. 275) #fear – #Virtue is not afraid of what it is doing.
(p. 281) #Drunkenness does not create faults – it brings out faults that already exists. Those who could never be defeated in battle have been vanquished by drink.

Book 11

(p. 286) #Wealth is a danger or a buried to those who have it.
(p. 286) #pleasure – Bodily pleasures make a person soft and flabby.
(p. 286) #Ambition has no ending.
(p. 291) #happiness – A happy person prefers his own life to any other.
(p. 291) #happiness – He whom you call “less happy” is not happy: that is not a word that can be scaled back.
(p. 292) #courage #happiness – Anyone who is courageous is without #fear. Anyone who is without fear is without #sadness. Anyone who is without sadness is happy.
(p. 292) #courage – The courageous person won’t fear dangers, but he will avoid them. He exercises caution, but is not afraid.
(p. 294) ⭐ In fair weather, anyone can be a helmsman.
(p. ?, 402) #day ⭐ Make every day the start of a new year. Treat each day as a #life in itself.
(p. ?) The wise man skillfully handles misfortune.
(p. ?) #fear #desire – Fearing nothing brings #peace; Desiring nothing brings #wealth.
(p. ?) Anything can happen, but nothing is certain to happen. Expect the best and prepare for the worst.
(p. 314) #virtue – ⭐ Virtues (a non-exhaustive list):
- #courage
- #loyalty: “The harder pain presses me for my secrets, the deeper I shall hide them.”
- #self-control: The best limit on the objects of desire is to take what you need, not what you want.
- #kindness: think of every misfortune as your own, and welcome good fortune to share it with another.
- #honesty
- #temperance and #moderation
- #frugality and #thrift
- #clemency: never forget the value of another human being
(p. 316) #knowledge – Wanting to know more than enough is a form of #intemperance. By #learning what you do not need to know, you fail to learn what you do need.
(p. 316) #learning – It’s better to learn superfluous things than nothing at all.

Book 14

(p. 320) #Philosophy and its subdivisions:
- #Ethics: Regulates the mind
  - Assigning value to things
  - Controlling impulses
  - Harmonized actions and impulses
  - Consistent behavior
- #Physics: The nature of things
  - Cause & effect
- #Logic: The meaning of words and preventing falsehood from masquerading as truth
- Rhetoric
  - expressions
  - thoughts
  - organization
- Dialectic
  - words
  - meanings
(p. 324) ⭐ In your #study, make it your aim not to know more, but to know better.
(p. ?) #ownership ⭐ Any place you do not occupy is not really yours.
(p. ?) #becoming – We are not born wise. We become good.
(p. 340) #despise – It’s the height of madness to #worry about being despised by the despicable
(p. 343) ⭐ #Goodness is present not in the things but in the quality of the selection.

Book 15

(p. 352) #acceptance ⭐ We must bravely accept everything necessity ordains.
(p. 352) #shame ⭐ Shameful conduct is the only #bad.
(p. 352) #Wealth, #status, good #health, #strength and high office are intermediate and not to be counted as either good or bad.
(p. 360) #sage #silence – To instill a mind with honorable ideas, nothing is more effective than good men’s company. One can get some benefit from a great man even if he is silent.
(p. 361) ⭐ #Concord makes small things great; #discord saps the strength of the mightiest.
(p. ?) Measure #wealth by how it is used.
(p. 375) #understanding – Even supposing that someone is acting properly, if he doesn’t know why he is acting, he will not do it consistently and regularly.
(p. 376) Without a #goal, life drifts.
(p. 378) Nothing is certain for people who rely on popular #opinion, the most unreliable of standards.
(p. ?) The #intention behind an action determines if it is good or bad.

Book 16

(p. 382) ⭐ All the things that make us groan and get frightened are just the taxes of #life. Pay your taxes.
(p. 386) #crime – #Fortune exempts many criminals from punishment, but none from #anxiety.
(p. 387) #fortune ⭐ Whenever something turns out differently from what you were expecting, say, “The gods made a better decision.”
(p. 387) ⭐ The #fear of losing something is equivalent to the pain of its #loss.
(p. 391) #death – If a friend dies, don’t bury the #friendship# along with the friend.
(p. ?) #sadness #emotion – When the tears come, accept them. Do not force anything.
(p. 414) The worst thing about #death is the #fear that precedes it.
(p. 416) Running away is not helping you if what you are running from is with you or in you.
(p. 425) #will – #Fate guides the man who’s willing and drags the unwilling.
(p. 429) Some #habits are easier to break than to reduce.
(p. ?) ⭐ #Hope with #doubt, and doubt with hope.
(p. ?) #Greed hurts yourself more than others.
(p. 435) One good man will help another. Even the sage does not know everything.
(p. 437) #Virtue enjoins us to make the best of our present circumstances.
(p. 438) The worst #curse you can utter against anyone is to pray that he be his own enemy.
(p. 442) #freedom – The free person is not the one over whom #fortune has little power, but the one against whom fortune is powerless.
(p. 442) #desire – If you want to challenge God, who has no wants, you must want nothing.
(p. 450) #justice #disgrace #wisdom – You will often have to combine being just with being disgraced. Then if you are wise, you should take delight in the bad #reputation you have won by your good #behavior.
(p. ?) #Virtue manifests itself through actions.
(p. 457) #speaking – The great man speaks casually: his words are heartfelt, not carefully arranged.
(p. 461) ⭐ #Greed never goes unpunished. Greed suffers over what it lacks and over what it has acquired.
(p. 461) What #philosophy will do for you is the greatest gift or all: you will never #regret what you have done.
(p. 462) ⭐ If #pleasure is pursued for its own sake, it becomes #self-indulgence.
(p. 463) #Inability is just an #excuse; the real reason is #unwillingness.
(p. 468) #shame – Nothing seems more shameful than to pray for death.
(p. 472) Instead of treating other people’s problems, it is better to address one’s own.
(p. 476) #desire – Not wanting is just as good as having. In both cases, you will avoid anxiety.
(p. 481) #Carelessness can look like good nature, and #temerity like #courage.
(p. 492) #popularity – Extravagant people want their life to be talked about as long as they live, for if it goes quiet they think they are wasting their efforts.
(p. 494) #desire – No one can have everything he wants. What a person can do is give up wanting what he doesn’t have and use cheerfully the things that are available.
(p. 494) #opinion – Many of our problems stem from the fact that we live by conforming to other people’s standards, following fashion instead of taking reason as our guide.
(p. 497) ⭐ #Pleasure is a poor and pathetic thing, of no value.
(p. 497) #Glory is an empty thing, more fleeting and volatile than air.
(p. 497) #Poverty is only a problem for those who don’t accept it.
(p. 501) #disorganization – Something is disorganized <=> Something is capable of disorganization.
(p. 502) #happiness – Do not judge yourself to be happy until all your joys arise from yourself.
(p. 502) #fortune – You will possess your own good when you understand that the fortunate are really the least fortunate.
(p. 504) #wealth – What does it matter how much you have? There is much more that you do not have.

#91: Vos Défis de A à Z en passant par BCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWX et bien sûr Y

Brief. Une histoire et quatre révoluions.

(p. 30) Ne tenez pas pour acquis que le #client dit est vrai, cherchez la #vérité avec lui à travers une #enquête stratégique.
- Interrogez-le, parlez à son entourage, questionnez ses chiffres, visitez ses boutiques, celles de ses concurrents, parlez à ses clients, abonnez-vous et désabonnez-vous à ses services.
(p. 30) Vivez votre #client. C’est votre travail.
(p. 33) Diriger la conversation, c’est aussi savoir dire non.

Choix. Quand c’est trop, c’est trop.

(p. 37) ⭐ Choisir, c’est faire une série de deuils.
(p. 38) Guidez le consommateur, choisissez à sa place, rassurez-le.

Corpus, cursus, campus, caucus. Apprendre, fois quatre.

(p. 45) Le travail de l’école
- n’est pas de remplir l’étudiant mais de l’outiller;
- n’est pas de le soumettre, mais de lui permettre;
- n’est pas de le formater, mais de le préparer
(p. 45) On ne forme pas des étudiants identiques sur une chaîne de fabrication, mais on dépose en eux les nutriments nécessaires à leur propre croissance.
(p. 45) Un parcours pédagogique est une séquence d’influences diversifiées.

Design thinking. Histoire et avenir. La science des idées.

(p. 50) Le #design-thinking est une méthode itérative centrée sur l’utilisateur pour résoudre des problèmes en cinq étapes:
1. empathie
2. définition
3. idéation
4. prototypage
5. déploiement
(p. 56) Le #design-thinking célèbre les échecs rapides plutôt que les victoires éclatantes.
(p. 56) “Qu’avons-vous à résoudre réellement?” Cette question a beaucoup plus de valeur que les solutions, car elle est dictée par les besoins et les attentes de l’utilisateur.

Empathie et écoute. L’effet Hawthorne

(p. 62) L’effet Hawthorne, c’est l’effet positif sur la #productivité qui vient d’observer les gens, les écouter, prendre soin d’eux.
(p. 62) Quand vous écoutez les gens, ils s’attendent à être entendus. Il arrive parfois qu’une entrevue génère des attentes de changement irréalistes.
(p. 64) Les types d’empathie:
- L’empathie cognitive est la plus connue, c’est le fait de comprendre ce que l’autre ressent. Par exemple, dire sincèrement “Je suis tellement content(e) pour toi!”
- L’empathie émotionnelle c’est faire l’expérience des sentiments de l’autre physiologiquement et physiquement (donc dans tout son corps).
- L’empathis compassionnelle est la compassion et/ou inquiétude provoquée en ressentant que quelqu’un d’autre est dans le besoin.
(p. 65) L’empathie, c’est la capacité de “voir” le cadre de pensée des autres.
(p. 65) Plus nous écoutons les propos de l’autre sans préparer notre réponse, plus on habitue notre cerveau à recevoir, traiter et retenir de nouvelles informations de manière détendue, réceptive et calme.
(p. 66) Nous pouvons ressentir une émotion par empathie envers quelqu’un, mais cela ne veut pas dire que nous savons pourquoi la personne ressent cette émotion (e.g. un bébé).
(p. 67) Comprendre les autres, c’est aussi être capable de mieux répondre aux besoins des gens.

Focus group. Idée malmenée et mal menée

(p. 71-72) Un focus group a pour but d’observer les interactions des gens entre eux sur un sujet défini. L’animateur va:
- Observer les participants
- Noter les silences
- Noter les doutes, les changements de comportement
(p. 71) Le rôle du focused interview est de recueillir les propos de chaque participant, seul à seul, dans des conditions propices au partage et à l’écoute.
(p. 72) Pour qu’un savoir se transmette, l’oubli de sa véritable origine est inévitable.

Gestion du changement. LEGO ou IKEA?

(p. 75) L’avantage du changement par autorité et la rapidité et le contrôle.
(p. 75) Il faut savoir bien doser et avoir la légitimité d’agir avec autorité, sans quoi on pourrait assister au désengagement des employés.
(p. 76) Le changement par influence est plus lent et plus difficile à mettre en place, mais il s’avère souvent plus durable puisqu’il est incarné par les équipes.
(p. 77) Friction et préoccupations des employés peuvent être OK si c’est signe que les choses avancent.

Gains marginaux. L’art subtil des petits pas

(p. 78) Il faut se concentrer sur le processus plutôt que sur le but à atteindre.
(p. 78) ⭐ Chaque action quotidienne devient une brique dans l’édifice de votre futur.
(p. 78) Il est préférable de viser un effet cumulatif plutôt qu’un changement radical. Une amélioration de 1% par jour vaut mieux que viser 100% du jour au lendemain.
(p. 79) Pour créer de bonnes #habitudes et en éliminer de mauvaises, rendez les habitudes évidentes, attrayantes, faciles et satisfaisantes.
(p. 81) #amélioration – Pour identifier les 1% à améliorer:
1. Améliorez autant de 1% que possible
2. Identifiez quels 1% sont des facteurs de réussite
3. Améliorez uniquement ce qui fait une différence
(p. 82) L’Effet Lollapalooza se produit quand plusieurs facteurs ou influences se combinent pour créer un impact bien plus grand que la somme de leurs effets individuels.
(p. 87) Dans un monde saturé d’informations, la clé pour une #marque est une communication qui se concentre sur un seul mot qui encapsule son essence tout en stimulant la curiosité.

Innovation. Imaginer, créer, inventer, innover

(p. 89) L'#angoisse, c’est votre imagination qui fabrique en vous des émotions réelles… sans fondement réel.
(p. 89) ⭐ Dans le monde des organisations, la #créativité est la capacité d’imaginer une solution à un problème.
(p. 90, 92, 93) Idée -> Invention -> Innovation -> Progrès
- L’idée devient une #invention au moment où elle prend vie par la construction de quelque chose de réel et de nouveau.
- Une #innovation, c’est une invention qui a trouvé son public, qui a connu un succès commercial évident.
- Le #progrès, c’est l’innovation appliquée au bien commun, à un futur enviable.

Innovation. Un peu d’histoire

(p. 95) Typiquement, quiconque accède au #pouvoir par une méthode ne s’en tiendra plus qu’à celle-ci.
(p. 95) Le #sage apprend à changer de #stratégie en fonction des besoins du moment et prend plus au sérieux la notion de #risque.
(p. 96) L'#innovation, c’est sauver le présent du #statu-quo. Le #progrès, c’est inventer l’avenir.
(p. 96) Pour les innovateurs, l’immobilisme d’une industrie est le signe qu’elle dort et qu’il faut la bousculer. La bousculade fait des victimes et donne naissance à du nouveau.

Insight. Entre fantasme et réalité.

(p. 101) ⭐ Un #insight est une vérité cachée dans le quotidien des gens.

Je, moi, me.

(p. 106) Les médias et les spécialistes du marketing adorent utiliser la notion des #générations pour caricaturer et uniformiser des millions de gens très différents.
(p. 106) Le #narcissisme, l'#impulsivité et l'#engagement politique sont souvent plus marqués chez les jeunes de toute génération.
(p. 106) Les variations au sein d’une même #génération sont souvent plus importantes que les variations entre les générations.

Kitty Genovese, ou pouquoi personne ne vous écoute.

(p. 110) L'effet témoin: La #responsabilité est divisée par le nombre de témoins.
(p. 113) ⭐ Si vous ne divisez pas la #responsabilité vous-même, personne ne le fera à votre place.
(p. 113) Un message “tous pour un” est efficace pour inspirer, mais il doit être complété avec des messages “un pour un” pour concrétiser.

Leadership maladroit. Ted Lasso, le parfait gestionnaire imparfait.

(p. 116) Un bon #coach n’est pas nécessairement un bon joueur.
(p. 116) #Écoute tous les gens qui viennent te parler. Une fois sur dix, ils te diront quelque chose de crucial pour l’avenir de l’entreprise.
(p. 116) La première qualité d’un créatif est l’amnésie, pour oublier tous les nons qu’on se fait pour des motifs valables ou pas. La plus grande force d’un créatif/gestionnaire est de bêtement croire encore et encore à son idée.
(p. 117) Entourez-vous de gens qui ne vous ressemblent pas et qui ont des opinions différentes des vôtres.
(p. 118) ⭐ L'#intelligence, c’est de faire des choses sérieuses, mais pas sérieusement.

Marque, produit, attributs

(p. 124) Votre #vision ou vos #valeurs ne permettent pas de vous différencier vraiment. Il faut laisser de côté le “pourquoi” et miser sur le “comment.”
(p. 124) ⭐ Pour que votre #marque soit solide, il faut que les #features soient des “preuves de votre promesse.”
(p. 126) Pitcher la marque ou le produit n’est utile que pour les nouveaux utilisateurs. Les utilisateurs qui reviennent vont se contenter des attributs.

Marque. Sens, puissance, constance, cohérence et gouvernance.

(p. 143) Une #marque solide repose sur:
- le sens
- la puissance
- la constance
- la cohérence
- la gouvernance
(p. 143) ⭐ L’objectif ultime de la #communication, c’est le souvenir.
(p. 143) La #gouvernance, c’est:
- Qui décide de quoi?
- Qui tranche?
- Qui est responsable du déploiement, de jouer à la police, de faire évoluer la marque au besoin?
(p. 143) Une bonne marque n’est pas une démocratie, c’est une bonne dictature.

Mobilisation. Comment faire avancer les gens?

(p. 149) Vous n’avez pas à convaincre tout le monde. Il vous suffit de 5% à 10% de meneurs pour que tout le groupe vous suive.

Motivation, habileté et déclencheur. Changement maintenant.

(p. 150) ⭐ #Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Prompt
(p. 153) Les deux leviers pour changer un #comportement:
- augmenter la motivation
- augmenter la simplicité

Nudges. Entre coup de pouce et coup de pression.

(p. 163) En #politique, mieux vaut être sympathique et rassurant que stratégique et brillant, parce que la plupart des électeurs ne se rendent pas jusque là dans leurs réflexions.
(p. 163) ⭐ Si vous voulez réussir, il faut parler à l'#instinct des gens (Système 1)
(p. 165) Lorsque les gens sont interrogés lors d’une enquête sur ce qu’ils ont l’intention de faire, ils sont plus susceptibles de le faire.

Persona. Profil et archétype.

(p. 171) C’est dans les subtilités de nos différences que l’innovation se cache.
(p. 173, 174) L'#archétype est un “super-persona” caricatural, mais universel:
- le héros (Harry Potter)
- la figure maternelle (mère Teresa)
- le mentor (Dumbledore)
- l’ombre (Voldemort)
- l’amoureux (Roméo et Juliette)
- le farceur (Loki)
- Le sage (Yoda)
- L’orphelin (Batman)
(p. 174) Le #persona n’est souvent qu’un profil. Le vrai persona est un personnage, pas une personne. Ce personnage repose sur un #archétype – une figure “primitive” qui sert de repère universel.

Philosophie du changement. Parménide et Héraclite.

(p. 178) Selon Héraclite, tout est composé d’opposés.
(p. 178) Le monde est tissé de contraires pour mieux affirmer son unité.
(p. 178) Celui qui s’enferme dans son propre raisonnement est un rêveur isolé qui ne participe pas au raisonnement collectif.
(p. 178) ⭐ L'#idiot n’est pas un imbécile, c’est celui qui ne croit que lui-même.

Que sont devenues les entreprises du premier Fortune 500?

(p. 182) Les entreprises jouissant d’un #monopole, quand elles commencent à jouer défensif, commencent à creuser leur tombe en:
- imposant une culture du profit à tout prix
- assassinant:
  - le risque
  - le courage
  - les nouvelles idées

Rétention. La fin du bonheur au travail.

(p. 188) Le #bonheur au travail est un argument marketing plus qu’une véritable valeur managériale.
(p. 188) ⭐ Les employés attendent de l’encadrement
(p. 188) Oui au #bonheur et #joie comme conséquence d’un travail réussie. Non au bonheur et joie comme condition de performance.
(p. 189) ⭐ Dites réellement ce qui se passe, même si ce ne sont pas de bonnes nouvelles. Chacun a besoin de se faire un plan d’action basé sur la #réalité.
(p. 189) ⭐ En temps de #crise, pas de nouvelles = mauvaises nouvelles.
(p. 190) Oubliez le #bonheur au travail. Au pire, c’est une promesse impossible à tenir, au mieux c’est un serment inutile.
(p. 190) ⭐ Le #bonheur ne dépend que des rencontres. Rencontrez-vous comme vous pouvez.
(p. 0) Le #bonheur ne doit pas devenir une condition de performance.

Stratégie (?)

(p. 192) Si tu veux faire rire Dieu, raconte-lui tes projets.
(p. 192) Si prévoir est important pour donner des jalons à vos ambitions, s’adapter est vital pour naviguer dans un monde qui change.
(p. 192) La #stratégie consiste à rendre concret ce qu’on a dans la tête.
(p. 192) ⭐ ⭐ Le savant n’est pas l’homme qui fournit les vraies réponses, c’est celui qui pose les vraies questions.
(p. 0) Une intégration réussie de l’IA dans l’entreprise nécessite l’acceptation sociale.

Think different, vraiment?

(p. 208) C’est en tapant toujours sur le même clou que cette #répétition se transforme en positionnement dans la tête du #consommateur.
(p. 209) Toute baisse de #coût a un coût caché.

Utilisateurs extrêmes. Oubliez la moyenne.

(p. 0) L’utilisateur moyen n’existe pas.
(p. 213) Les non-utilisateurs peuvent fournir des informations sur les raisons pour lesquelles ils ne sont pas des utilisateurs actuels d’un produit ou d’un service.

Valeurs de la marque. Intégrité, respect et grand n’importe quoi

(p. 218) Les #valeurs recensées par l’auteur à travers l’industrie:
- Performance et excellence
  - Excellence
  - Efficacité
  - Agilité
  - Loyauté
  - Flexibilité
  - Performance
  - Amélioration
- Intégrité et responsabilité
  - Intégrité
  - Justice
  - Authenticité
  - Transparence
  - Imputabilité
  - Confiance
  - Communication
  - Ouverture d’esprit
- Engagement social et communautaire
  - Appartenance
  - Travail d’équipe
  - Impact social et environnemental
  - Communauté
  - Service
- Innovation et créativité
  - Innovation
  - Créativité
  - Courage
  - Anticipation
- Diversité et inclusion
  - Équité
  - Empathie
  - Santé
  - Sécurité
  - Empowerment
  - Diversité et inclusion
  - Générosité
  - Accomplissement
- Passion et émotions positives
  - Passion
  - Plaisir
  - Liberté
  - Simplicité
- Pertinence et pragmatisme
  - Pertinence
  - Efficacité
(p. 219) Les #valeurs ne sont pas statiques, elles évoluent avec le temps, parce que la #société évolue.
(p. 220) Le travail d’une #marque est… de se démarquer.
(p. 220) #Valeur vs #Principe
- Une valeur est morale: elle est un chemin à suivre. Espérance maximale.
- Un principe est tangible: c’est la destination du chemin. Attente minimale.
  - Toute infraction doit être sanctionnée, car elle porte atteinte à l’intégrité du groupe et met en péril sa cohésion.
(p. 220) Pour être effectives, les “#valeurs de l’organisation” auraient avantage à être remplacées par les “principes de l’organisation,” afin de clarifier les attentes qui se cachent derrière les mots.
(p. 221) Les principes sont des valeurs qui s’évaluent.
(p. 221) ⭐ Si je dis “Notre valeur, c’est l’innovation!”, mais que je sanctionne les individus qui font des erreurs, alors mon discours est double. Ma #valeur est l’innovation, mais mon #principe est l’aversion au risque.
(p. 225) Les #valeurs d’une #marque ne servent qu’à laver la réputation de la marque. Ce sont des promesses fades.
(p. 227) C’est un grave problème éthique d’utiliser des marques pour faire passer un message à l’opposé des pratiques réelles de l’organisation (“nettoyant”).

Valeurs. Quoi éviter de faire et quoi faire.

(p. 231) Les #valeurs réussies (e.g. LEGO, IKEA, AirBNB, Tesla, AXON) ont:
- un ancrage stratégique réel
- un vocabulaire singulier qui différencie de facto la marque des autres
- un discours identique à l’interne et à l’externe
- un encadrement efficace qui guide les pratiques, mais qui différencie dans le même temps
(p. 232) Différenciez-vous en amplifiant les mots qui vous définissent (e.g. curieux -> obsédé. attentif aux détails -> psychopathe)
(p. 233) La distribution des #valeurs dans l'industrie

XP Client. Qu’est-ce que l’expérience client?

(p. 239) On crée de la #valeur en passant de haut en bas dans cette liste:
- #Commodité: Les matières premières. Vous n’avez aucun pouvoir sur cette valeur.
- #Produits: l’addition de matières premières, avec une valeur perceptuelle ajoutée (e.g. les téléphones mobiles)
- #Services: Ils sont intangibles et plus difficilement comparables. La différenciation est plus forte.
- #Expériences: Elles sont mémorables, ou pas.
(p. 241) Le #consommateur ne recherche pas toujours le meilleur #prix. Pour une #commodité, oui. Pour une #expérience, non!
(p. 241) Les composantes d’une #expérience complète:
- divertissement
- éducation
- évasion
- esthétique

#92: Thinking Fast and Slow

Introduction

(p. 3) ⭐ It is much easier, as well as far more enjoyable, to identify and label the #mistakes of others than to recognize our own.
(p. 6) #boredom — It is much easier to strive for #perfection when you are never bored.
(p. 9) ⭐ #Luck plays a large role in every story of #success.
(p. 11) #Intuition is recognition.
(p. 12) When faced with a difficult question, we often answer an easier one instead, without noticing the substitution:
- Should I invest in Ford Stock?…
- … becomes: Do I like Ford cars?

Part 1: Two Systems

Chapter 1: The Characters of the Story

(p. 23) You dispose of a limited #budget of #attention.
(p. 23) You can do several things at once, but only if they are easy and undemanding.
(p. 24) ⭐ We can be blind to the #obvious, and we are also blind to our #blindness.
(p. 24) If endorsed by System 2, #impressions and #intuitions turn into #beliefs, and #impulses turn into voluntary #actions.
(p. 28) A strong #attraction to a patient with a repeated history of failed treatment is a #danger sign. It is a #cognitive-illusion.

Chapter 2: Attention and Effort

(p. 35) ⭐ In the #economy of action, #effort is a #cost, and the acquisition of #skill is driven by a cost-benefit balance.
(p. 36) ⭐ #Effort is required to maintain simultaneously in #memory several ideas that require separate actions, or that need to be combined according to a rule.

Chapter 3: The Lazy Controller

(p. 45) ⭐ When people believe a #conclusion is #true, they are also very likely to believe #arguments that appear to support it, even when these arguments are unsound.
(p. 46) ⭐ #Intelligence = #Reasoning Ability + #Memory + Controlled #Focus
(p. 49) ⭐ High #intelligence does not make people immune to #biases.

Chapter 4: The Associative Machine

(p. 54) ⭐ Reciprocal #priming effects (e.g. thinking “health” -> exercising -> thinking “health” -> …) produce a #coherent #action.
(p. 55, 56) ⭐ The #idea of #money primes #individualism
(p. 56) Reminding people of their mortality increases the appeal of #authoritarian ideas, which may become reassuring in the context of the terror of #death

Chapter 5: Cognitive Ease

(p. 60) The causes and consequences of #cognitive-ease:
- Repeated experience
- Clear display
- Primed idea
- Good mood ⬇️
  - Cognitive ease ⬇️
    - Feels familiar
    - Feels true
    - Feels effortless
    - Feels good
(p. 60) In a state of #cognitive-ease, you are more likely to be relatively casual and superficial in your #thinking. In a state of #cognitive-strain, you are more likely to be:
- vigilant and suspicious
- investing more effort in what you are doing
- feeling less comfortable
- making fewer errors
- less intuitive and creative
(p. 62) Anything that makes it easier for the associative machine to run smoothly will also #bias beliefs.
(p. 62) #Simplicity is perceived as #familiarity, which is perceived as #truth.
(p. 63) ⭐ To be perceived as #credible and #intelligent, do not use complex language where a simple language will do.
(p. 64) The recipients of your #message want to stay away from anything that reminds them of #effort.
(p. 67) The exposure effect occurs because the repeated exposure to a stimulus is followed by nothing bad. Such a stimulus will eventually become a #safety signal, and safety is good.
(p. 67) ⭐ #Creativity is associative memory that works exceptionally well.
(p. 69) ⭐ #Mood affects the operation of System 1: When we are uncomfortable and unhappy, we lose touch with out #intuition.
(p. 70) “I’m in a very good mood today, and my System 2 is weaker than usual. I should be extra careful.”

Chapter 6: Norms, Surprises and Causes

(p. 75) A statement that can #explain two contradictory outcomes explains nothing at all.
(p. 77) ⭐ Two central #beliefs of many #religions:
- An immaterial divinity is the ultimate cause of the physical world.
- Immortal souls temporarily control our bodies while we live and leave them behind as we die.
(p. 77) The foundation of nearly all #religions is our instinctive separation between physical and intentional #causality.
(p. 78) When we can’t accept bad luck, we blame it on an external intention.
(p. 83) How to grade an #exam with #bias: Read and score all the students' answers to the first question, then go on to the next one. Make sure to write all the scores on the inside back page of the booklet so that you can’t be biased.
(p. 83) The #halo-effect is our tendency to like (or dislike) everything about something or someone. It is a lack of #nuance.
(p. 85) Eliminating redundancy from your sources of #information is always a good idea.
(p. 85) Before a group #discussion, individually summarize your opinion by writing it down. Make sure all are heard. This makes good use of the value of the #diversity of knowledge and opinion in the group.
(p. 85) The standard practice of open #discussion gives too much weight to the opinions of those who speak early and assertively, causing others to line up behind them.
(p. 85) WYSIATI: What you see is all there is.
(p. 85) The measure of success for System 1 is the coherence of the story it manages to create.
(p. 86) ⭐ To activate System 2, start by asking “What would I need to know before I formed an #opinion about XYZ?”
(p. 86) System 1 is expected to influence even the more careful #decisions. Its input never ceases.
(p. 87) For a good #story, what matters is consistency, not completeness.
(p. 87) ⭐ Knowing little makes it easier to fit everything you know into a #coherent pattern.

Chapter 8: How Judgements Happen

(p. 90) We are endowed with an ability to evaluate, in a single glance at a stranger’s face, two potentially crucial facts:
- How dominant (and therefore potentially threatening) he is
- How trustworthy he is (are his intentions friendly or hostile?)
(p. 90) The ability of face reading is far from perfect.
(p. 91) ⭐ People judge #competence by combining the two dimensions of #strength and #trustworthiness.

Chapter 9: Answering an Easier Question

(p. 98) ⭐ If you can’t solve a #problem, then there is an easier problem you can solve: find it.
(p. 103) Present #state-of-mind is an #anchor when people evaluate their average #happiness over past days.
(p. 103) Smaller risks make benefits look more enticing.

Part 2: Heuristics and Biases

Chapter 10: The Law of Small Numbers

(p. 110) Paradox: A #random event, by definition, does not lend itself to explanation, but collections of random events do behave in a highly regular fashion.
(p. 111) Small #samples yield extreme results more often than large samples do.
(p. 117) ⭐ We are far too willing to reject the belief that much of what we see in life is random.
(p. 118)First check the reliability of a message before assessing the information.
(p. 118) ⭐ Causal explanations of chance events are inevitably wrong.

Chapter 11: Anchors

(p. 119) Anchoring effect: When people consider a particular value for an unknown quantity before estimating that quantity. The #estimates stay close to the number that people considered (the “#anchor”).
(p. 120) Anchor-and-adjust is a strategy for estimating uncertain quantities:
1. Start from an anchoring number.
2. Assess whether it is too high or too low.
3. Gradually adjust your estimate by mentally “moving” from the #anchor.
(p. 121) Responses to anchors:
- People who shake their head move farther from the #anchor.
- People who nod their head show enhanced anchoring.
(p. 121) People stay closer to the #anchor when their mental resources are depleted.
(p. 126) Don’t negotiate with an outrageous offer on the table. Do make a scene, threaten to storm out (or do so), make it clear to everyone (and yourself) that you will not continue the #negotiation with that number on the table.
(p. 127) To find arguments against an #anchor,
- Focus on the minimal offer that the opponent would accept.
- ⭐ Focus on the costs to the opponent of failing to reach an #agreement.

Chapter 12: The Science of Availability

(p. 132) ⭐ #Self-ratings are dominated by the ease with which examples come to mind.
(p. 133) ⭐ ⭐ The proof that you truly understand a pattern of #behavior is that you know how to reverse it.
(p. 134) Ease of retrieval of #information is itself used as information, except when it seems assisted by an external factor (e.g. “Mozart music helps the memory”)
(p. 135) Merely reminding people of a time when they had #power increases their apparent #trust in their own #intuition.

Chapter 13: Availability, Emotion, and Risk

(p. 138) ⭐ Our expectations about the frequency of events are distorted by the prevalence and emotional intensity of the messages to which are are exposed.
(p. 140) ⭐ When experts and the public #disagree on their priorities, each side must respect the insights and intelligence of the other.
(p. 141) The evaluation of #risk depends on the choice of a #measure — with the obvious possibility that the choice may have been guided by a preference for one outcome or another.
- Defining risk is thus an exercise in #power.
(p. 142) The #importance of an idea is often judged by the fluency (and emotional charge) with which that idea comes to mind.
(p. 144) #Terrorism speaks directly to System 1.
(p. 144) Rational or not, #fear is painful and debilitating, and policy makers must endeavour to protect the public from fear, not only from real #dangers.

Chapter 14: Tom W’s Specialty

(p. 153) There are two possible reasons for the #failure of System 2 — #ignorance or #laziness.
(p. 153) Unless you decide immediately to reject #evidence, your System 1 will automatically process the information available as if it were true.
(p. 153) When you have doubts about the quality of the evidence, let your judgements of probability stay close to the base rate.

Chapter 15: Linda: Less Is More

(p. 158) #Fallacy: When people fail to apply a logical rule that is obviously relevant.
(p. 159) ⭐ The following notions are easily confused by the public:
- Coherence: Internal consistency of an argument, where all parts logically fit together
- Plausibility: The degree to which something seems believable based on current knowledge
- Probability: A measure of likelihood that a specific event will occur, expressed by a percentage or fraction
(p. 160) ⭐ A trap for forecasters and their clients is that adding details to #scenarios makes them more #persuasive, but also less likely to come true.
(p. 165) Lawyer tactics:
- To demolish a case, raise #doubts about the strongest arguments that favor it
- To discredit a witness, focus on the weakest part of the testimony

Chapter 16: Causes Trump Statistics

(p. 169) #Stereotypes, both correct and false, are how we think of categories.
(p. 172) ⭐ Changing one’s mind about human nature is hard work, and changing one’s mind for the worse about oneself is even harder.
(p. 173) People quietly exempt themselves (and their friends, acquaintances) from the conclusions of experiments that surprise them.
(p. 174) When presented with a surprising statistical fact, students manage to learn nothing at all. When surprised by individual cases, students tend to more easily make the correct generalization.
- “Subjects' unwillingness to deduce the particular from the general was matched only by their willingness to infer the general from the particular.”
(p. 174) ⭐ The test of learning #psychology is whether your understanding of situations you encounter has changed, not whether you have learned a new fact.
(p. 174) Surprising individual cases have a powerful impact and are a more effective tool for #teaching psychology because the incongruity must be resolved and embedded in a causal story.
(p. 174) ⭐ You are more likely to #learn something by finding surprises in your own #behavior than by hearing surprising facts about people in general.

Chapter 17 Regression to the Mean

(p. 174) #Rewards for improved performance work better than #punishment of mistakes.
(p. 176) #Regression-to-the-mean statistically punishes for being nice and rewards for being nasty.
(p. 177)
- Success = Talent + Luck
- Great Success = A little more talent + A lot of luck
(p. 178) ⭐ #Regression-to-the-mean does not have a causal explanation. It is #statistics.
(p. 181) ⭐ Uncorrelated scores will #regress-to-the-mean.

Chapter 18: Taming Intuitive Predictions

(p. 187) Intensity matching after a substitution yields #predictions that are as extreme as the evidence on which they are based.
(p. 192) Correcting your #intuitions may complicate your life.
(p. 192) Unbiased predictions permit the #prediction of #rare or extreme events only when the #information is very good.
(p. 192) Absence of #bias is not always what matters most.
(p. 193) If you choose to delude yourself by accepting extreme #predictions, you must remain aware of your #self-indulgence.
(p. 194) It is natural for System 1 to generate overconfident #judgements, because #confidence is determined by the #coherence of the best story you can tell from the #evidence at hand.

Part 3: Overconfidence

Chapter 19: The Illusion of Understanding

(p. 199) ⭐ The explanatory #stories that people find compelling:
- are simple
- are concrete rather than abstract
- assign a larger role to talent, stupidity and intention than to luck
- focus on a few striking events that happened rather than on the countless events that failed to happen.
(p. 200) ⭐ The ultimate test of an #explanation is whether it would have made the event #predictable in advance.
(p. 201) ⭐ The more #luck was involved, the less there is to be #learned.
(p. 201) ⭐ Our comforting conviction that the world makes sense rests on a secure foundation: our almost unlimited ability to ignore our #ignorance.
(p. 202) ⭐ To think clearly about the future and avoid #hindsight-bias, we need to clean up the language that we use in labeling the beliefs we had in the past:
- ❌ “I knew that all along”
- ❌ “Premonition”
- ❌ “Intuition”
(p. 202) A general limitation of the human mind is its imperfect ability to reconstruct past states of knowledge, or beliefs that have changed.
(p. 202) A general limitation of the human #mind is its imperfect ability to reconstruct past states of #knowledge, or #beliefs that have changed.
(p. 203) #Hindsight bias leads observers to assess the quality of a #decision not by whether the process was sound but by whether its outcome was good or bad.
(p. 203) Actions that seemed prudent in foresight can look irresponsibly negligent in #hindsight.
(p. 204) The worse the consequence, the greater the #hindsight #bias.
(p. 204) Decision makers who expect to have their decisions scrutinized with hindsight are drive to #bureaucratic solutions and to an extreme reluctance to take #risks.
(p. 206) #Stories of success and failure consistently exaggerate the impact of leadership style and management practices on firm outcomes, and thus their message is rarely useful.
(p. 206) Because of the halo effect, we get the causal relationship backward: we are prone to believe that the firm fails because its CEO is rigid, when the truth is that the CEO appears to be rigid because the firm is failing. This is how illusions of understanding are born.
(p. 207) ⭐ In the presence of #randomness, regular #patterns can only be mirages.

Chapter 20: The Illusion of Validity

(p. 209) The subjective #confidence we have in our #opinions reflects the #coherence of the story that Systems 1 & 2 have constructed.
(p. 209) The amount of #evidence and its quality do not count for much because poor evidence can make a very good story.
(p. 212) Declarations of high #confidence mainly tell you that an individual has constructed a coherent #story in their mind, not necessarily that the story is true
(p. 217) ⭐ People can maintain an unshakable faith in any proposition, however absurd, when they are sustained by a community of like-minded #believers. For example, trust fund managers in the financial community.
(p. 218) The illusion that we understand the #past fosters #overconfidence in our ability to #predict the future.
(p. 219) Acquiring #knowledge develops an enhanced illusion of #skill and generates unrealistic #overconfidence.
(p. 219) The more #famous the forecaster, the more flamboyant the #forecasts.
(p. 219) #Experts are led astray not by what the believe but by how they think.

Chapter 21: Intuitions vs. Formulas

(p. 224) Several studies have shown that human #decision makers are inferior to a prediction formula even when they are given the score suggested by the formula!
(p. 225) ⭐ To maximize predictive accuracy, final decisions should be left to formulas, especially in low-validity environments.
- Low-validity environments: Domains that entail a significant degree of uncertainty and unpredictability.
(p. 226) Marital stability is well predicted by the formula:
- (Frequency of lovemaking) - (Frequency of quarrels)
- You don’t want the result to be a negative number.
(p. 226) An #algorithm constructed on the back of an envelope is often good enough to compete with an optimally weighted formula, and certainly good enough to outdo #expert #judgement.
(p. 229) ⭐ It is unethical to rely on intuitive judgements for important #decisions if an algorithm is available that will make fewer mistakes.
(p. 229) For most people, the #cause of a #mistake matters. The difference in emotional intensity is readily translated into a moral preference.
(p. 232) #Intuition adds value only after a disciplined collection of objective information and disciplined scoring of separate traits.
(p. 232) ⭐ Do not simply trust intuitive judgements, but do not dismiss it, either.
(p. 232) ⭐ A #hiring #algorithm:
1. Select a few traits that are prerequisites for success in this position (technical proficiency, engaging personality, reliability, …). Six dimensions is a good number, should be independent.
2. Assess the dimensions by asking factual questions. Make a list of those questions for each trait and score them 1-5. Know in advance what is “very weak” and “very strong.”
3. For each candidate, add up the six scores. Firmly resolve that you will hire the candidate whose final score is the highest, even if there is another whom you like better.

Chapter 22: Expert Intuition: When Can We Trust It?

(p. 238) Learned #fears are more easily acquired than learned #hope.
(p. 238) #Expertise in a domain is not a single #skill but rather a large collection of miniskills.
(p. 240) The #confidence that people have in their #intuition is not a reliable guide to their validity. Do not trust anyone —including yourself— to tell you how much you should trust their judgement.
(p. 240) ⭐ #Judgements and #intuition reflect #expertise and #skill when:
- an environment is sufficiently regular to be predictable
- there is an opportunity to learn these regularities through prolonged practice
(p. 241) Statistical #algorithms greatly outdo humans in noisy environments because:
- they are more likely than human judges to detect weakly valid cues
- they are much more likely to maintain a modest level of accuracy by using such cues consistently.
(p. 241) #Intuition cannot be trusted in the absence of stable regularities in the environment.
(p. 241) #Intuition = (Quality & Speed of #Feedback) + #Practice
(p. 242) Short-term #anticipation and long-term #forecasting are different tasks.
- The therapist has had adequate opportunity to learn one but not the other.
(p. 243) #Judgements that answer the wrong question can also be made with high #confidence.

Chapter 23: The Outside View

(p. 248) #Unknown unknowns: Succession of events that would cause a project to drag out:
- divorces
- illness
- crises of coordination with bureaucracies
- …
(p. 249) People who have information about an individual case rarely feel the need to know the statistics of the class to which the case belongs. This is a #bias that leads to mistakes.
(p. 250) The authors of unrealistic #plans are often driven by the desire to get the plan approved
(p. 251) ⭐ The greatest responsibility for avoiding the planning fallacy lies with the decision makers who approve the #plan.
- Planning #fallacy: Plans and forecasts that
  - are unrealistically close to best-case scenarios
  - could be improved by consulting the stats of similar cases
(p. 252) A #budget reserve is to contractors what red meat is to lions; they will devour it.
(p. 252) A well-run organization will #reward planners for precise execution and #penalize for failing to anticipate difficulties and for failing to allow for #unknown unknowns
(p. 254) ⭐ The outside view is to forget about one’s own case and look for what happened in other cases. It is never natural to look for the outside view.

Chapter 24: The Engine of Capitalism

(p. 257) Generally, the financial benefits of #self-employment are mediocre: given the same qualifications, people achieve higher average returns by selling their skills to employers than by setting out on their own.
(p. 262) #Optimism is highly valued, socially and in the market; people and firms reward the providers of dangerously misleading information more than they reward truth tellers.
(p. 263) #Experts who acknowledge the full extent of their #ignorance may expect to be replaced by mere confident competitors, who are better able to gain the #trust of clients.
(p. 263) ⭐ An unbiased appreciation of #uncertainty is a cornerstone of #rationality, but extreme uncertainty is paralyzing under dangerous circumstances. The admission that one is merely guessing is especially unacceptable when the #stakes are high.
(p. 264) Premortem: When the organization has almost come to an important decision but has not formally committed itself, gather for a brief session a group of individuals who are knowledgeable about the decision. The main virtue of the premortem is that it legitimizes doubts.
- “Imagine that we are a year into the future. We implemented the plan as it now exists. The outcome was a disaster. Please take 5 to 10 minutes to write a brief history of that disaster.”

Part 4: Choices

Chapter 25: Bernouilli’s Errors

(p. 273) The psychological value of a #gamble is not the weighted average of its possible dollar outcomes; it is the average of the utilities of these outcomes, each weighted by its probability.
(p. 274) ⭐ A decision maker with diminishing marginal utility for #wealth will be risk averse.
(p. 274) The poorer man will happily pay a premium price to transfer the #risk to the richer one. That’s essentially what insurance is.
(p. 277) Theory-induced blindness: Once you have accepted a theory and used it as a tool in your thinking, it is extraordinarily difficult to notice its flaws.

Chapter 26: Prospect Theory

(p. 279) ⭐ You know you have made a theoretical advance when you can no longer reconstruct why you failed for so long to see the obvious.
(p. 280) People become risk seeing when all their options are bad.
(p. 284) #Losses loom larger than #gains.

Chapter 27: The Endowment Effect

(p. 292) #Tastes are not fixed; because of loss #aversion, they vary with the reference point.
(p. 298) To eliminate the Endowment Effect, ask “How much do I want to have that thing compared with other things I could have instead?”
(p. 299) “She didn’t care which of the two offices she would get, but a day after the announcement was made, she was no longer willing to trade. Endowment Effect!”
(p. 302) ⭐ The long-term success of a #relationship depends far more on avoiding the negative than on seeking the positive.
(p. 304) Many of the messages that negotiators exchange in the course of #bargaining are attempts to communicate a reference point and provide an #anchor to the other side. The messages are not always sincere.
(p. 305) Animals, including people, fight harder to prevent #losses than to achieve #gains. In the world of territorial animals, this principle explains the success of defenders.
(p. 306) ⭐ A basic rule of #fairness is that exploitation of market power to impose losses on others is unacceptable.
- (p. 308) Employers who violate rules of fairness are punished by reduced productivity, and unfair merchants lose sales.
(p. 308) ⭐ Maintaining the social order and the rules of fairness is its own #reward.

Chapter 29: The Fourfold Pattern

(p. 317,318,319) ⭐
(p. 320) In the face-off between a risk-averse plaintiff and a risk-seeking defendant, the defendant holds the stronger hand.
(p. 321) Paying a premium to avoid a small #risk of a large #loss is costly.

Chapter 30: Rare Events

(p. 325) The probability of a rare event is most likely to be overestimated when the alternative is not fully specified.
(p. 328) A vivid representation of an outcome messes up our ability to calculate probabilities.
(p. 329) Denominator neglect: Low-probability events are much more heavily weighted when described in terms of relative frequencies (how many) than when stated in more abstract terms of “chances”, “risk”, or “probability” (how likely)
(p. 333) A #rare event will be overweighted if it specifically attracts attention.

Chapter 31: Risk Policies

(p. 335) ⭐ It is costly to be risk averse for gains and risk seeking for losses.
(p. 340) ⭐ Example of risk policies are “always take the highest possible deductible when purchasing insurance,” and “never buy extended warranties.”

Chapter 32: Keeping Score

(p. 345) Driving into a blizzard because you paid for show tickets is a sunk-cost error.
(p. 346) Boards of directors often replace a CEO who is encumbered by prior decisions and reluctant to cut losses.
(p. 346) #Regret is accompanied by:
- feelings that one should have known better
- a sinking feeling
- thoughts about the mistake one has made and the opportunities lost
- a tendency to kick oneself and to correct one’s mistake
- wanting to undo the event and to get a second chance
(p. 346) Intense #regret is what you experience when you can most easily imagine yourself doing something other than what you did.
(p. 348) People expect to have stronger emotional reactions (including regret) to an #outcome that is produced by action than to the same outcome when it is produced by inaction.
(p. 348) ⭐ It is the departure from the #default that produces #regret.
(p. 351) “The intense #aversion to trading increased risk for some other advantage may be motivated by a selfish fear of regret more than by a wish to optimize a situation.”
(p. 352) ⭐ If you can remember when things go badly that you considered the possibility of #regret carefully before deciding, you are likely to experience less of it.
(p. 352) People generally anticipate more #regret than they will actually experience, because they underestimate the efficacy of the psychological defenses they will deploy (psychological immune system).
(p. 352) ⭐ You should not put too much weight on #regret; even if you have some, it will hurt less than you now think.

Chapter 34: Frames and Reality

(p. 364) ⭐ #Costs are not #losses.
(p. 367) #framing — System 1 is rarely indifferent to emotional words: “90% survival” sounds encouraging whereas “10% mortality” is frightening.
(p. 371) ⭐ Sunk #costs should be ignored.
(p. 374) When an “#impossible” event is observed, the #theory is falsified.

Part 5: Two Selves

Chapter 35: Two Selves

(p. 378) ⭐ A decision maker who pays different amounts to achieve the same gain of experienced #utility (or be spared the same loss) is making a #mistake.
(p. 378) The only basis for judging that a decision is wrong is inconsistency with other preferences.
(p. 381) Two selves:
- The experiencing self is the one that answers the question: “Does it hurt now?”
- The remembering self answers: “How was it, on the whole?”
(p. 381) ⭐ What we learn from the past is to maximize the qualities of our future memories, not necessarily of our future experience. This is the tyranny of the remembering self.

Chapter 36: Life as a Story

(p. 387) Duration neglect is normal in a story, and the #ending often defines its character.
(p. 387) #Caring for people often takes the form of concern for the quality of their stories, not for their feelings.
(p. 389) ⭐ The photographer does not view the scene as a moment to be savored but as a future #memory to be designed.
(p. 389) It is the remembering self that chooses vacations.
(p. 389) ⭐ People choose by #memory when they decide whether or not to repeat an #experience.
(p. 390) Most people are remarkable indifferent to the pains of their experiencing self.

Chapter 37: Experienced Well-Being

(p. 393) The U-Index is the percentage of time that an individual spends in an unpleasant state. We aim for a lower U-Index in society.
(p. 394) Our emotional state is largely determined by what we attend to, and we are normally focused on our current activity and immediate environment.
- There are exceptions, where the quality of subjective experience is dominated by recurrent thoughts rather than by the events of the moment.
(p. 395) ⭐ #Happiness is the experience of spending time with people you love and who love you.
(p. 397) People’s evaluations of their lives and their actual experience may be related, but they are also different.
(p. 397) Beyond the satiation level of #income, you can buy more pleasurable #experiences, but you will lose some of your ability to enjoy the less expensive ones.

Chapter 38: Thinking About Life

(p. 402) ⭐ One recipe for a dissatisfied adulthood is setting goals that are especially difficult to attain.
(p. 402) ⭐ Focusing illusion: Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it.
(p. 405) Over time, with few exceptions, attention is withdrawn from a new situation as it becomes more familiar.
- The main exceptions are chronic pain, constant exposure to loud noise, and severe depression.

Conclusions

(p. 409) It does not make sense to evaluate an entire #life by its last moments, or to give no weight to duration in deciding which life is more desirable.
(p. 409) The perspective of the #remembering self is not always correct.
(p. 410) It is a good bet that many of the things we say we “will always #remember” will be forgotten ten years later.
(p. 410) ⭐ The remembering self and the experiencing self must both be considered, because their #interests do not always coincide.
(p. 412) ⭐ When we observe people acting in ways that seem odd, we should first examine the possibility that they have a good reason to do what they do.
(p. 415)
- “System 1 does X” is a shortcut for “X occurs automatically”
- “System 2 is mobilized to do Y” is a shortcut for “arousal increases, pupils dilate, attention is focused, and activity Y is performed.”
(p. 416) ⭐ The acquisition of #skills requires:
- a regular environment,
- an adequate opportunity to practice,
- rapid and unequivocal feedback about the correctness of thoughts and actions.
(p. 416) ⭐ A marker of #skilled performance is the ability to deal with vast amounts of #information swiftly and efficiently.
(p. 417) ⭐ #Observers are less cognitively busy and more open to information than #actors.
(p. 418) ⭐ ⭐ An organization is a factory that manufactures judgements and decisions.
(p. 418) An organization that seeks to improve its decision product should routinely look for efficiency improvements at each of these stages:
- the framing of the problem that is to be solved
- the collection of relevant info leading to a decision
- reflection and review
(p. 418) Systematic training for the essential skill of conducting efficient meetings will improve decision making.
(p. 418) ⭐ The identification of judgement errors is a diagnostic task, which requires a precise vocabulary. Labels bring together in memory everything we know about a bias, its causes, its effects, and what can be done about it:
- “anchoring effects”
- “narrow framing”
- “excessive coherence”
- …
(p. 418) There is a direct link from more precise gossip at the watercooler to better #decisions.
(p. 418) Decision makers will make better choices when they trust their #critics to be sophisticated and fair, and when they expect their #decision to be judged by how it was made, not only by how it turned out.

#93: Feeling Good

Introduction

(p. xviii) Your feelings results from the messages you give yourself.
(p. xxvii) You can defeat #depression by changing the negative thinking patterns that cause it.
(p. xxx) #Depression is one of the worst forms of suffering because of the immense feelings of shame, worthlessness, hopelessness, and demoralization.

Part 1: Theory and Research

Chapter 1: A Breakthrough in the Treatment of Mood Disorders

(p. 13) The negative thoughts which cause your emotional turmoil nearly always contain gross #distortions.
(p. 16) The most crucial predictor of #recovery is a persistent willingness to exert some effort to help yourself.
(p. 17) Part of being human means getting upset from time to time. You will not achieve a state of never-ending bliss.

Chapter 2: How to Diagnose Your Moods: The First Step in the Cure

(p. 20) Burns #Depression Checklist . Do this test periodically to see the evolution of your mood.
(p. 23) The crucial #decision to try to help yourself is the key that will allow you to feel better.
(p. 25) It is not wise to try to treat a severe #depression on your own. A professional consultation is a must.
(p. 25) Your conviction that you are #hopeless is the reason to seek #treatment.
(p. 25) A feeling of #hopelessness is evidence that one is not hopeless.
(p. 26) Mania is the opposite of depression, but it is just as destructive. This behavior is characterized by impulsive actions which reflect poor judgement along with a grandiose sense of self-confidence.

Chapter 3: Understanding Your Moods: You Feel the Way You Think

(p. 29) Every time you feel depressed about something, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the depression.
(p. 32) List of Cognitive Distortions
(p. 48) #Feelings and #actions reinforce each other, for better or for worse.
(p. 48) Your #emotions follow your #thoughts just as surely as baby ducks follow their mother.
(p. 49) ⭐ Painful #feelings based on mental #distortions are neither valid nor desirable.

Part II: Practical Applications

Chapter 4: Start by Building Self-Esteem

(p. 53) When you are depressed, you invariable believe that you are #worthless.
(p. 53) Depressed patients see themselves as deficient in the very #qualities they value most highly.
(p. 57) ⭐ #Achievements can bring you #satisfaction but not #happiness.
(p. 57) Only your own sense of #self-worth determines how you feel.
(p. 63) The triple-column technique
(p. 64) Make sure you believe in your rebuttal to self-criticism.
(p. 64) You can’t disprove emotional reactions (e.g. “I feel crappy."). You can only disprove thoughts (e.g. “I am crap.").
(p. 69) Systematic #self-monitoring frequently helps develop increased #self-control.

Chapter 5: Do-Nothingism: How to Beat It

(p. 81) One of the most destructive aspects of #depression is the way it paralyzes your #willpower.
(p. 82) Sometimes it hardly seems to matter what you do as long as you do something with the attitude of #self-help.
(p. 84) ⭐ Labeling yourself is useless and self-defeating because it creates the false impression that your lack of X is irreversible.
(p. 85) #Depression is the most agonizing form of human #suffering.
(p. 88) All your #emotions and #actions are the results of your #thoughts and #attitudes. Similarly, your feelings and behavior patterns influence your perceptions.
(p. 90) Anhedonia: A diminished ability to experience satisfaction and pleasure. Your tendency to “disqualify the positive” may be at the root of this problem.
(p. 91) A mind-set that contributes to the fear of defeat is when you evaluate your performance exclusively on the outcome regardless of your individual effort.
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