Author: Ramit Sethi

Release year: 2024

Publisher: Workman Publishing Company

Link to my handwritten notes

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My review

Before reading “Money for Couples,” my partner and I had been together for ten years, but we’d never truly figured out how to combine our finances. We always knew merging our money was inevitable; splitting bills forever just didn’t feel right for a real partnership. As longtime fans of Ramit Sethi (his podcast and Netflix show are favorites), this book arrived at the perfect moment for us.

We decided to read it together, out loud, before bed. Maybe that sounds cute, maybe a little nerdy, but it was genuinely fun. Reading and reacting to Ramit’s ideas as a couple made the lessons stick and sparked conversations we’d never had before.

What sets this book apart is its focus on the conversations around money, not just the mechanics. Ramit doesn’t just teach you how to set up accounts or budgets; he shows you how to talk about money as a team, and why that matters.

Our biggest takeaway? We now have a “money meeting” every three weeks, just as Ramit suggests. These meetings have become some of my favorite moments with my partner. We check our numbers, review our progress, and realize that, despite the day-to-day chaos, we’re actually doing our financial homework. We’ve planned for future expenses, built an emergency fund, and learned to categorize our spending. It’s empowering.

The trickiest part was figuring out our individual “guilt-free spending” accounts: How much is enough for each of us? What counts as personal versus joint spending? Ramit’s suggested lists helped us get started:

For 95% of our expenses, this system works beautifully. No more awkward bill-splitting, no more uncertainty. And for the few edge cases, we know we’ll figure it out together.

As Ramit suggested, we set up our banking so money flows smoothly from our joint accounts to our joint and individual savings. This automation gives us peace of mind and lets us focus on what matters.

Looking ahead, I’m excited for our first “Rich Life Annual Review,” a chance to reflect, celebrate, and plan for the year ahead. Ramit’s agenda for this review is practical and inspiring:

- Prepare
    - Did you hit your four key numbers?
        - fixed costs
        - savings
        - investments
        - guilt-free spending
    - How well did you do on projecting your expenses? Update your CSP for next year.
    - Review your Money Dials and any Money Rules you created. Discard or change any that no longer feel apt; add new ones if you have any.
    - What's coming up next year?
        - Changes in income?
        - Additional expenses?
        - Scenarios you want to start planning for now?
- Appreciation
    - Share a couple of specific moments from the past 12 months when you really appreciated each other (look back through your calendar and photos)
    - Discuss shared victories
    - What you would change (keep it positive, but be honest)
    - What would make next year magical?
    - Where do we want to go?
    - What do we want *more* of, and how do we want to do it?
    - What do we want *less* of, and how do we want to do it?
    - Where are we today?
        - Net worth
        - Compare CSP with actual spending
        - If you agreed to spend 500$/month on groceries and you spent an average of $700, change it to $700. Or get honest about why you overspent and specifically what you'll do to get down to $500.
    - What's coming up? Take your best guess and adjust the CSP accordingly.

If you’re in a relationship, I can’t recommend this book enough, especially if you read it together. Our money meetings have brought us closer, and the conversations we’ve had have been invaluable.

Final verdict: Read this book with your partner. It’s not just about money; it’s about building a richer, more connected life together.

Félix rating:
👍👍

⭐ Star Quotes

Introduction — What If Talking About Money Felt Good?

Part 1: 10 Steps to a Rich Life — Together

Chapter 1: Your First Positive Conversation About Money

Use these easy word-for-word scripts and keep it light.

Chapter 2: Understanding Your Money Psychology

Uncover your invisible scripts, hidden memories, and the four Money Types

Chapter 3: Designing Your Rich Life Vision — Together

How to get on the same page with money (even if you see it differently)

• (p. 50) The perfect time to talk about your Rich Life vision is when you’re both relaxed and happy—and not in your normal day-to-day environment.

Chapter 4 : Money Dials

How to spend more—a lot more!—on the things you love and less on the things you don’t.

• (p. 67) ⭐ You should spend extravagantly on the things you love, as long as you cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.

Chapter 5: A Quick Snapshot of Your Financial Life

Discover your net worth in 30 minutes.

Chapter 6: Changing Your Money Dynamic

How to talk about money without fighting, getting stuck, or giving up.

• (p. 109) Avoiders will do anything to keep from talking about money in the short term, but they’re never conscious of the long-term effects of their actions.
• (p. 109) ⭐ When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like a burden.

Chapter 7: Creating Your Conscious Spending Plan

Match your actual numbers to your Rich Life.

Chapter 8: Mastering Your Spending

Tackle invisible spending, eliminate overspending, and buy back your time.

• (p. 157) If you really wanted your kids to have more than you had, you would start by modeling a healthy relationship with money.
• (p. 158) Knowing if you can afford something starts with numbers, not how you feel. […] Sometimes your feelings are not that important.
• (p. 160) If something is a priority to me, I’m going to make a plan, I’m going to identify areas where I might fail, and then I’m going to attack the problem with overwhelming force.
• (p. 161) Random critiques about money never produce positive changes. They evoke defensiveness.
• (p. 165) Failure happens in any system. What’s important is tackling it as a team—and putting in a fix so that the problem doesn’t happen again.
• (p. 167) Money isn’t simply about numbers; it’s about values.
• (p. 168) As the saying goes, if you have a problem that your money can solve, you don’t have a problem.
• (p. 168) Free time isn’t simple being lazy. Even though it seems like I’m doing nothing, when I’m relaxing, I’m recovering. I know that when life calls for me to work intensely, I’m going to be rested and ready to perform.
• (p. 170) If your Rich Life involves freeing up time, make a plan for how you’re going to use that time.

Chapter 9: How to Set Up Your Accounts

Build a system so your money flows automatically.

• (p. 185) Some of the most important things in life will never appear on a spreadsheet.

Chapter 10: Living Your Rich Life Together

Establish joyful money routines that actually stick.

• (p. 205) If [someone] is doing 90% great, spend 90% of the time talking about the positive.
• (p. 210) By [hoping things will work out, but expecting them to fail] before the failure happens, you can be calm and dispassionate in coming up with a plan for how to respond. Talk through the options. […] Whatever you decide, write it down. Now you have a Plan B ready, just in case.

Part 2: Instant Money Answers If You’re…

Digging Out From Under a Mountain of Debt

Make a plan! There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Thinking About a Major Purchase

How to run the numbers on vacations, cars, college, and a house.

Teaching Your Kids About Money

Helping your kids build a healthy relationship with money.

Working With a Financial Advisor

The shocking math behind financial advisors—and when it’s worth it.

Ramit’s Rules on Everything

Travel, tipping, credit cards, home buying, creating your own Money Rules, and more.