Release year: 2018

Publisher: Sounds True

My Review

I picked up The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People on a whim. The title alone made me curious—maybe that’s what brought you to this review too.

At 32, I’m learning to make peace with my sensitivity as a man. I don’t fully understand it, but I’ve come to trust it. I wasn’t sure I needed “survival” tips, but I wanted to know: what does survival look like for highly sensitive people? And even if this book wasn’t really about me, I was curious to see the world through an empath’s eyes—to better understand their daily struggles, and how I could be more present for them.

The book begins with a definition that sets the tone:

“Empaths are emotional sponges who absorb both the stress and the joy of the world.” (p. 1)

That resonated, but it also raised a question for me: are empaths born this way, or do we become empaths? My own view is that reactions are always a choice. To me, an empath is someone unusually sensitive to others’ emotions, but who hasn’t yet learned to separate those feelings from their own. It’s like having a weak emotional immune system—too easily “infected” by the moods of others, sometimes to the point of harm.

Because I bought my copy secondhand, I found it full of highlights from the previous owner. Their notes painted a vivid picture: someone overwhelmed by crowds, drained by conflict, soothed by nature, and constantly struggling to fit in. It made me think less about labels and more about how important it is to help people find a place where they can belong.

As for the content itself, the book is exactly what its title suggests: a guide for sensitive people trying to navigate everyday life. After an initial self-assessment, each chapter tackles a domain—food, love, sex, work, narcissists, children, intuition—offering strategies for boundaries and self-care.

A few takeaways stuck with me:

Learn to distinguish venting (healthy, time-limited) from dumping (toxic, repetitive).
Sleep is essential.
Casual sex isn’t really casual for anyone.
You can’t save everyone.
Your job is to love yourself and see strength in what sets you apart.

That said, some advice made me raise an eyebrow. The book leans into pseudoscientific claims—adrenal fatigue, Himalayan salt as medicine, negative ion generators, gemstones changing body chemistry, even wearing a portable air purifier around your neck. My partner dismissed it entirely because of this, and I get it. But I chose to sift through the fluff and look for the “diamond in the rough.”

One passage I genuinely loved:

“When I was on a book tour and felt talked out after being with people all day, my partner would call me in my hotel room and we connected in silence. It was fantastic to do this with someone I love, not have to talk and yet still feel each other’s presence.” (p. 94)

That captures the beauty of sensitivity—how it can enrich connection without words.

What I learned

This wasn’t life-changing, but it gave me a clearer image of myself. My ability to listen without judgment is a gift, and I shouldn’t undervalue it. I realized that my attention is precious—I can’t give it away carelessly. That lesson alone makes the book worthwhile.

How I’ll use it

I’ll remind myself that people-pleasing isn’t sustainable. Being available to others is valuable, but I need to protect my energy and learn to spot “energy vampires.” Treasuring myself first allows me to show up for others from a place of strength.

The book closes each chapter with an “empath affirmation.” I’ll end this review with the final one:

“I will treasure myself and vow to have people in my life who treasure me as well. I will use my sensitivities to better my own life and the world. I will celebrate the adventure of being an empath.” (p. 213)

Not my favorite book ever, but I’m glad I read it. It helped me see my sensitivity less as a weakness and more as a responsibility—and a gift.

Félix rating:
👍

⭐ Star Quotes

(p. xi) “Our innate capacity for empathy is the source of the most precious of all human qualities.” —His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

Chapter 1: Are You an Empath? Introduction to Empathy

(p. 4) ⭐ “If you feel as if you don’t fit into this world, it’s because you’re here to create a better one.”
(p. 21) When you feel protected and safe, the world will become your playground.
(p. 21) Once you begin to identify your triggers, you can quickly act to remedy a situation.

Chapter 2: Empaths, Emotions and Health — How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Distress

(p. 39) We’re not failing or coping out by finding ways to be kind to ourselves. The softer and easier solution to a problem can be a merciful way to resolve anxiety, without having to turn to medication."
(p. 41) Be kind to yourself and stay positive. Focus on wellness, not illness. Do not beat yourself with negative thoughts such as, “I will never feel better” or “I am weak and sick.” No matter what’s happening in your life, you always have control of your attitude.
(p. 43) Empaths are more prone to take on the emotional or physical pain that they haven’t worked out in themselves. The more you heal issues that trigger you, the less likely you will be to absorb such symptoms from others.
(p. 48) Empaths are more vulnerable to absorbing stress and symptoms when they are tired. That’s why it’s crucial to get enough sleep.

Chapter 3: Empaths and Addiction — From Alcohol to Overeating

(p. 58) We pay a high price for coping with our sensitivities through addictions. […] At best, addictions only provide short-term relief from sensory overload, but in the long term, they stop working and worsen the feeling of being overwhelmed.
(p. 62) Happiness is an inside job. You must learn to know, love, and accept yourself, a life-long process of discovery. The more you run from your sensitivities, the more uncomfortable you will be.
(p. 66) “I am not my fear. I am larger.”
(p. 72) Sense how different foods feel in your body, and stick to the ones that give you a healthy boost. This will help you avoid food addiction.

Chapter 4: Empaths, Love, and Sex

(p. 81) If you are looking for intimacy, search out people who are excited to be with you.
(p. 81) If a relationship is meant to be, it will definitely happen. Don’t put yourself on hold for a person who is unattainable now.
(p. 83) When choosing who we get involved with, we must decide which set of problems we’re most okay handling.
(p. 85) If you have doubts about whether a person’s words, actions, and energy are congruent, go slowly. Do not give you heart to people unless they show themselves to be worthy of your love.
(p. 100) There is no such thing as “casual sex.”
(p. 101) We open ourselves to hurt when we become overly attached to people who can’t love us back.

Chapter 5: Protecting Yourself from Narcissists and Other Energy Vampires

(p. 118) Drama queens and kings get energized by our reaction to their drama, but they don’t get rewarded when we remain calm. So, star consistently calm. Soon they will lose interest and look for someone else who will feed their drama.
(p. 120) It can be helpful to listen to criticism, but if the comment isn’t constructive or doesn’t make sense, it’s not helpful.
(p. 124) “You cannot seek water from the one who has drained your seas, and you cannot build a home for your worth inside of another being.” —Victoria Erickson

Chapter 6: Empaths, Parenting, and Raising Sensitive Children

(p. 135) “The best thing I can give my daughter is me being happy. When I have time to myself, I can be a better mom.”
(p. 139) ⭐ Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.

Chapter 7: Empaths and Work

Chapter 8: Empaths, Intuition, and Extraordinary Perceptions

(p. 188) “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” —Carl Jung
(p. 197) You have the right to say “no” to any-experience you don’t want.
(p. 205) You are not responsible for the karma of others. Everyone deserves the dignity of walking their own path.

Chapter 9: The Gift of Being an Empath

(p. 208) The only obstacle that keeps you from shining is fear. As empaths, it is our assignment to gradually heal our fears so that they don’t block our way to the light. As you do so, remember that you are not alone.
(p. 209) The more empowered you become, the more you can embody the change that the world needs.
(p. 211) ⭐ “Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.” —Albert Einstein
(p. 212) The path to self-acceptance, inner peace, and spiritual growth is not a straight line. It’s a spiral. We keep returning to issues we thought we had healed—bit this time around, more profound truths are revealed, which enhance our self-knowledge.

(Read 129) The Empath’s Survival Guide