Release year: 2018

Review

On November 14, 2023, exactly 355 days ago, I finished reading The 48 Laws of Power . Immediately, I knew I wanted to read its spiritual sequel from the same author, The Laws of Human Nature, which is the subject of this review. And what a title… Can it get more impactful than this? The person who has mastered the laws of human nature has effectively the keys to the entire world. Thus, this should make this book a pretty enticing package. I don’t know about you, but my days are filled with having to deal with humans. Everywhere we go, and anytime we do something, at some point we will have to deal with someone else.

I often say that humans are my favorite animal. We can create both the worst and the best. I was eager to learn more about what makes us tick.

Often while reading this book, I was tempted to think of it under a different title, which I think could have still applied: The Flaws of Human Nature. Many times, I felt noticed by the author in all the bad things I’ve thought, done and said over my lifetime. You can see in the list section below , but there are so many archetypes he identified that I recognized myself in. You might recognize yourself in some of them too. For example, in the types of enviers, I have been all of these types at least once in my life, many of them simultaneously.

Does this make me a good person? A bad person? After reading this book, I think neither term applies. If anything, I realize this is simply what makes me wholly human.

We are all prone to biases. We are all prone to envy. We are all prone to grandiosity. Staying grounded is difficult when you have an intellect that allows you to fly as high as your imagination will allow. We all have a Shadow inside of us. Our objective should be to understand ourselves and each other, which will allow us to collaborate and create a better world.

The book does give advice about how to get the most out of your dealings with humans. The most often repeated advice is to listen, to lower your reaction time, to focus outward. These are things I had often heard before, but Greene’s writing is as always compelling with his colorful use of history to lend some weight to his explanations.

I kept asking myself, what does Greene think of humanity? His book very directly shines a light on many of our weaknesses, inclinations. He unapologetically shows us our collective and individual dark sides. This could lead a reader to believe that Greene has a very negative opinions of humans, but I think nothing could be further from the truth. I believe he is trying to get us to understand ourselves better, so that we can be more at peace with ourselves and with each other. This is a book that invites us to reconnect with our humanity and to find meaning in being a human, despite our many flaws.

I don’t think this book should be taken at face value. To me, these are not really the laws of human nature. Human nature is something that defies categorization. Once you believe you understand a human, they will always find a way to subvert your expectations. However, it is also my impression that this collection of archetypes is definitely useful to make better sense of the world around us, and also remind us that first impressions can be misleading.

Humans will never cease to fascinate me. We can hurt ourselves in unthinkable ways. And yet, we can say the most beautiful, loving things and share them for the benefit of others.

Félix rating:
👍

Lists

Biases (p. 29):

Confirmation bias (we find evidence that confirms what we want to believe)
Conviction bias (I’m so convinced, I must be right)
Appearance bias (I understand the people I deal with based on appearances)
Group bias (My ideas are not influenced by the group)
Blame bias (I haven’s made a mistake)
Superiority bias (I’m better than others)

Strategies to bring out the rational self (p. 37):

Know yourself thoroughly
Examine your emotions to their roots
Increase your reaction time
Accept people as facts
Find the balance between thinking and emotion
Love rationality

Four examples of narcissistic types (p. 54):

Complete control narcissist
Theatrical narcissist
Narcissistic couple
Healthy narcissistic / mood reader

Toxic types (p. 121):

The Hyperperfectionist
The relentless rebel
The personalizer (they take everything personally)
The drama magnet
The big talker
The sexualizer (they tend to see every relationship as potentially sexual for self-validation)
The pampered prince/princess
The pleaser
The savior
The easy moralizer

Strategies for stimulating desire (p. 143):

Know how and when to withdraw your presence
Create rivalries of desire (make people see that others covet you)
Use induction (interest in what seems illicit, voyeurism)

Strategies for becoming a master persuader (p. 188):

Transform yourself into a deep listener
Infect people with the proper mood
Confirm their self-opinion
Allay their insecurities (calm feelings of doubt, fear, inadequacy)
Use people’s resistance and stubbornness (emotions, language, rigidity)

Constricted (negative) attitudes (p. 216):

Hostile
Anxious
Avoidant
Depressive
Resentful

Identifying moments of release of inner tension from the Shadow that wants to come to life (p. 244):

Contradictory behavior
Emotional outbursts
Vehement denial
“Accidental” behavior (e.g. relapsing)
Overidealization
Projection

Shadow archetypes (p. 249):

The tough guy
The saint
The passive-aggressive charmer
The fanatic (supporter to some cause)
The rigid rationalist
The snob
The extreme entrepreneur (can’t take advice or delegate)

Signs of envy (p. 274):

Microexpressions in the face (e.g. the look of a child who felt cheated)
Poisonous praise (effectively makes you feel worse)
Backbiting (gossip)
Push and pull (closeness established to gather material and find weak points)

Types of enviers (p. 278):

Levelers (can only appreciate excellence in those who are dead/inactive). Achievers make them insecure.
Self-entitled slackers (considers any first draft good enough)
Status fiends
The attacher (attaches to powerful people, the feel entitled to getting attention without hard work)
The insecure master (they doubt they are worthy of the responsibility of their high position)

Things a grandiose leader will say (p. 311):

“I am destined”
“I’m the common man/woman”
“I rewrite the rules”
“I have the golden touch”
“I’m invulnerable”

Gender projection types (p. 340):

The devilish romantic
The elusive woman of perfection
The lovable rebel
The fallen woman
The superior man
The woman to worship him

Strategies for developing a high sense of purpose (p. 378):

Discover your calling in life
Embrace negative experiences as the perfect means of building up skills
Find and associate with those who have a high sense of purpose
Create a ladder of descending goals
Lose yourself in the work (flow)

False purposes (p. 385):

The pursuit of pleasure
Causes and cults
Money and success
Attention
Cynicism (“Life is absurd, meaningless, random. Standards of truth, excellence, or meaning are old-fashioned.”). This disguises a fear of trying.

Types of courtiers (p. 424):

The intriguer (seems loyal, secretly schemes to amass more power)
The stirrer (infects the group with doubts and anxieties)
The gatekeeper (monopolizes the flow of information to the leaders)
The Shadow enabler (creates a safe space for the leader’s Shadow to come out)
The court jester (proves that leaders, in appearance, encourage the free exchange of opinions.)
- The jester fears responsibility and failing. They are not taken seriously and have little power. They don’t challenge the status quo.
The mirrorer
The favourite (this is a particularly dangerous position once they fall out of favor)
The punching bag (they can be a powerful ally; they know things, and befriending them can heighten your moral stance)

Steps to create a reality group (p. 431):

Instill a collective sense of purpose
Assemble the right team of lieutenants (not friends)
Let information and ideas flow freely
Infect the group with productive emotions
Forge a battle-tested group

Strategies for establishing authority (p. 463):

Find your authentic authority style (see below)
Focus your attitude outwardly
Cultivate your third eye’s vision
Set the tone by leading from the front
Stir conflicting emotions (don’t be too predictable)
Never appear to take, always to give
Rejuvenate your authority and be adaptable

Authority archetypes (p. 463):

The Deliver (Moses, Martin Luther King Jr)
The Founder (David Lynch, Pablo Picasso)
The Truth Seeker
The Quiet Pragmatist
The Healer (they have a knack for finding what will fulfill and unify people)
The Teacher (they have a way of getting people to initiate action and learn from their mistakes)

⭐ Star Quotes

Introduction

(p. 8) What often appears out of #character is actually more often people’s true character.
(p. 10) You must not rush to #judgements but keep yourself open to #learning more. People are more complex than you imagine. Your goal is to simply see their point of view better.

Chapter 1: Master Your Emotional Self

(p. 20) Train to never #react in the moment, to never make a #decision while under the influence of a strong #emotion.
(p. 22) What leads to bad #decisions and miscalculations is our deep-rooter irrationality, the extent to which our minds are governed by #emotion.
(p. 23) Bubbles and crashes keep repeating, and will keep repeating as long as there are suckers and people who do not read history.
(p. 23) It is hard to learn from experience when we are not looking inward, at the true causes.
(p. 27) ⭐ #Rationality is a clear understanding of why we feel the way we do, conscious of our impulses so that we can thinking without being secretly compelled by our emotions.
(p. 29) ⭐ The more powerful the person, the more they are subject to confirmation #bias.
(p. 29) ⭐ ⭐ Your first impulse should always be to find the #evidence that disconfirms your most cherished #beliefs and those of others. That is true science.
(p. 34) ⭐ Be extra way of sudden #success and #attention – they are not built on anything that lasts and they have an addictive pull. And the fall is always painful.
(p. 34) It is often wise to observe people under stress or any threat, as a way to just their true character.
(p. 38) Increase your reaction time. When some event or interaction requires a response, you must train yourself to step back. Write that email, but sleep on it a day or two.
(p. 39) If you find yourself rushing to commit to people, to hire or be hired by them, step back and give it a day. The longer you can resist reacting, the more mental space you have for actual reflection, and the stronger your mind will become.
(p. 39) Accept people as facts. Work with what they give you, instead of resisting and trying to change them.

Chapter 2: Transform Self-love into Empathy.

(p. 43) People who try too hard seem desperate and repulse the attention they want.
(p. 49) The greatest danger you face is your general assumption that you really understand people and that you can quickly judge and categorize them. Begin with the assumption that you are ignorant and that you have natural biases that will make you judge people incorrectly.
(p. 63) ⭐ Everything (theatrical) narcissists do or say is for public consumption.
(p. 65) ⭐ A relationship has a life and personality all its own. Each side continually shapes the other.

Chapter 3: See Through People’s Masks

(p. 85) Everything people do is a sign of some sort; there is no such thing as a gesture that does not communicate.
(p. 86) ⭐ The three categories of the most important cues to observe and identify are to see through people’s masks are:
- dislike / like
- dominance / submission
- deception
(p. 92) Frequent smiling is a sense of overall insecurity.
(p. 97) Polite, civilized society depends on the ability to say things that are not always sincere.
(p. 99) Learn how to consciously put yourself in the right emotional mood by imagining how/why you should feel the emotion suitable for the occasion or performance you are about to give.

Chapter 4: Determine the Strength of People’s Character

(p. 102) ⭐ Gauge the relative strength of people’s character by how well they handle adversity, their ability to adapt and work with other people, their patience and ability to learn.
(p. 110) Even a positive trait such as intelligence is worthless if the person also happens to be of weak or dubious character.
(p. 113) Confidence without self-awareness and control can become grandiosity. Without conscious effort, these strengths will tend to wear down or turn into weaknesses.
(p. 118) So often we think that power has changed people, when in fact it simply reveals more of who they are.
(p. 120) ⭐ People of strong character are open to new ideas and ways of doing things without compromising the basic principles they adhere to. People of weak character cannot be taught because learning from others implies criticism.
(p. 121) Someone less charming and intelligent but of strong character will prove more reliable and productive over the long run.
(p. 129) For each weakness there is a corresponding strength.

Chapter 5: Become an Elusive Object of Desire

(p. 131) Too much presence suffocates; a degree of absence spurs interest.
(p. 142) It requires no effort to simply be oneself or to blast one’s message. The lack of effort simply results in a lack of effect on other people’s psychology.
(p. 143) Know how and when to withdraw. Your presence must have a touch of coldness to it, as if you feel like you could do without others.
(p. 144) Always leave a presentation and its message open-ended. People can read into your work several interpretations. Never define exactly how they should take or use it.

Chapter 6: Elevate Your Perspective

(p. 164) Often, making your thinking more consequential will convince you of the wisdom of doing nothing, of waiting.
(p. 165) Winning an argument or proving your point really gets you nowhere in the long run. Win through your actions, not your words.

Chapter 7: Soften People’s Resistance by Confirming Their Self-opinion

(p. 182) Ask people for their advice. People are addicted to impart their wisdom and experience.
(p. 183) (Jean de la Bruyère) Most men seek less to be instructed, and even amused, than to be praised and applauded.
(p. 190) Your expectations about people are communicated to them non-verbally. If there is a person of whom you will eventually ask a factor, try imagining them in the best light (generous and caring).
(p. 191) No attempt at influence can ever work if people feel in any way that they are being coerced or manipulated. They must choose to do whatever it is you want them to do. The better this impression, the greater the chances of success.
(p. 192) When giving people gifts/rewards as a means of winning them over to your side, it is always best to give smaller gifts than larger ones. Smaller gifts give the impression of not being a bribe because people can tell themselves they deserve such things. They do not illicit suspicion.
(p. 193) Winning arguments is rarely worth the effort.
(p. 194) If you need a favor from people, do not remind them of what you have done for them in the past. Instead, remind them of the good things they have done for you in the past. Once reminded, they will want to continue to live up to this image and do yet another good deed.
(p. 195) Praise works best on people who are uncertain about their skills, so they can imagine they are perhaps not so bad.
(p. 195) ⭐ It is always better to praise people for their effort, not their talent.
(p. 196) ⭐ Never follow up your praise with a request for help. Flattery is a setup and requires the passage of time.
(p. 196) ⭐ Never be too lavish in your praise or use absolutes. If possible, get third parties to pass along your compliments.
(p. 198) When people are rigid in their opposition to something, it stems from deep fear of change and the uncertainty it could bring.
(p. 199) ⭐ Just as our sense of weakness and vulnerability motivated the desire to learn, so does our creeping sense of superiority slowly close us off to new ideas and influences.
(p. 199) ⭐ The ideal state of mind is one that retains the flexibility of youth with the reasoning powers of the adult. Such a mind is open to the influence of others.
(p. 200) Socrates’ motto in life: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Chapter 8: Change Your Circumstances by Changing Your Attitude

(p. 212) The world simply exists as it is. It is we with our particular perspectives who add color to or subtract it from things and people.
(p. 212) We shape much of the reality that we perceive, dictated by our moods and emotions.
(p. 214) Our attitude has a self-fulfilling dynamic.
(p. 216) You can get through anything with persistence.
(p. 224) ⭐ People are generally indifferent to your fate, not as antagonistic as you imagine. Very few of their actions are really directed at you.
(p. 224) ⭐ ⭐ Respect is something that must be earned through your achievements, not something given to you simply for being human.
(p. 226) ⭐ By accepting what we think to be the limits of our intelligence and creative powers, we create a self-fulfilling dynamic. They become our limits.

Chapter 9: Confront Your Dark Side

(p. 246) Behind any vehement hatred is often a secret and very unpalatable envy of the hated person or people.
(p. 252) ⭐ True rationality should be sober and skeptical about its own powers and not publicize itself.
(p. 258) Develop the habit of having unstructured time in which you can play with ideas, widen the options you consider, and pay serious attention to what comes to you in less conscious states of mind.

Chapter 10: Beware the Fragile Ego

(p. 272) Of all the human emotions, none is trickier or more elusive than envy. Envy entails the admission to ourselves that we are inferior to another person in something we value.
(p. 277) In general, criticism of you that seems sincere but not directly related to anything you have actually done is usually a strong sign of envy.
(p. 282) A trait that is quite common to all enviers: they lack a clear sense of purpose in their life.
(p. 285) Love and envy are not mutually exclusive.
(p. 285) Even when you clearly are the most knowledgeable person at a meeting, make a point of asking for the opinions of the most junior associate in attendance and take their answer seriously.
(p. 287) It is almost impossible to rid ourselves of the compulsion to compare ourselves with others. It is too ingrained in our nature as a social animal Nothing is ever so perfect as it seems if we look closely enough.
(p. 288) ⭐ Engage in downward comparisons. You normally focus on those who seem to have more than you, but it would be wiser to look at those who have less.
(p. 288) ⭐ Gratitude is the best antidote to envy.
(p. 289) Gratitude is a muscle that requires exercise or it will atrophy.
(p. 289) (Friedrich Nietzsche) “The lowest animal can imagine the pain of others. But to imagine the joy of others and to rejoice at it is the highest privilege of the highest animals.”

Chapter 11: Know Your Limits

(p. 302) Any success that we have in life inevitably depends on some good luck, timing, the contributions of others, the teachers who helped us along the way, and the whims of the public in need of something new.
(p. 302) After any kind of success, analyze the components. See the element of luck that is inevitably there, as well as the role that other people, including mentors, played in your good fortune.
(p. 302) With success you must raise your vigilance. Try to pay less attention to the applause as it grows louder.
(p. 304) Grandiosity will prevent you from learning from your mistakes and developing yourself, because once you assume you are already large and great, it is too difficult to admit otherwise.
(p. 314) Most rules do have common sense and rationality behind them.
(p. 317) If you stay too long in the imagination phase, what you create will tend to be grandiose and detached from reality.
(p. 317) If you only listen to feedback and try to make the work a complete reflection of what others tell you or want, the work will be conventional and flat.
(p. 317) If you have any success with your projects, step back from the attention you are receiving. Look at the role that luck may have played, or the help you received from others.

Chapter 12: Reconnect to the Masculine or Feminine Within You

(p. 334) Once infatuated or in love, we mistake the narcissist for a genius, the suffocator for a nurturer, the slacker for the exciting rebel, the control freak for the protector.
(p. 351) Reconstructing a causal chain and continually refining it will give depth to your thinking.
(p. 353) It is best to accustom yourself to various degrees of conflict and confrontation, so that any avoidance of it is strategic and not out of fear.
(p. 353) ⭐ You need to be comfortable saying not and turning people down.
(p. 353) ⭐ Look inward when you make mistakes and look outward when you have success.
(p. 354) ⭐ Don’t be afraid of asking for help or feedback; weakness comes from the inability to ask questions and to learn.
(p. 355) Once you recognize the fools, the incompetents, and the hyperselfish in the group, it is best to fire them and to even find pleasure in getting rid of those who bring the whole group down.

Chapter 13: Advance With a Sense of Purpose

(p. 372) ⭐ Learning requires an admission that we don’t know things and need to improve, but if we feel too insecure to admit this, our ideas become set and our skills stagnate.
(p. 374) Throughout history we can see that the healthiest and most celebrated cultures have been the ones that encouraged and exploited the greatest internal diversity among individuals.
(p. 376) ⭐ Fighting for a cause is known as a force multiplier – the greater the connection tot he cause, the higher the morale, which translates into greater force.
(p. 377) No calling or individual purpose is superior to another. What matters is that it be tied to a personal need and inclination and that your energy move you toward improvement and continual learning from experience.
(p. 380) The key to success in any field is first developing skills in various areas, which you can later combine in unique and creative ways.
(p. 381) Embrace negative experiences, limitations, and even pain as the perfect means of building up your skill levels and sharpening your sense of purpose.
(p. 381) ⭐ Frustration is a sign that you are making progress as your mind becomes aware of higher levels of skill that you have yet to attain.
(p. 383) Always break tasks into smaller bites, Each day or week you must have microgoals. This will help you focus and avoid entanglements or detours that will waste your energy.
(p. 385) The real purpose comes from within. False purposes come from external sources. The real purpose leads us upward, to a more human level. We improve our skills and sharpen our minds. False purposes lead downward, to the animal side of our nature – to addictions, loss of mental powers, mindless conformity, and cynicism.
(p. 386) To have deeper levels of pleasure, we have to learn to limit ourselves.
(p. 388) Money and success that last come from remaining original and not mindlessly following the path that others are following.
(p. 388) The most pleasurable things in life occur as a result of something not directly intended and expected.

Chapter 14: Resist the Downward Pull of the Group

(p. 405) A thing turns into its opposite if pushed too far.
(p. 407) (Eric Hoffer) “When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”
(p. 417) The larger the group and the more established the culture over time, the more likely it will control you than the other way around.
(p. 417) No matter the type of culture, or how disruptive it might have been in its origins, the longer a group exists and the larger it grows, the more conservative it will become. This is an inevitable result of the desire to hold on to what people have made or built. This creeping conservatism will often be the death of the group, because it slowly loses its ability to adapt.
(p. 418) The best courtiers focus on flattering qualities in the leader that no one else has bothered to pay attention to but that need extra validation.
(p. 418) Mirroring the leader’s ideas and values, without using their exact words, can be a highly effective form of indirect flattery.
(p. 419) Standing out too much, being seen as too brilliant or charming, will stir up envy, and you will die by a thousand bites. Learn to downplay your successes, to listen deeply to the ideas of others, strategically giving them credit and praise in meetings, paying attention to their insecurities.
(p. 419) It does not pay to be naive. Without being paranoid, try to question people’s motives.
(p. 421) The ability to reason on your own is your most prized possession as a human.
(p. 422) The less we are certain about our self-worth as individuals, the more we are unconsciously drawn toward fitting in and blending ourselves into the group spirit. Lower your permeability by raising your self-esteem.
(p. 423) ✅ The future of the human race will likely depend on our ability to transcend tribalism and to see our fate as interconnected with everyone else’s.
(p. 429) Your clean reputation is the most important thing you possess.
(p. 431) Make your power dependent on your accomplishments and your usefulness, not on the friendly feelings people have for you.
(p. 431) Instead of instantly focusing on individuals and the drama of a failed action, we must focus on the overall group dynamic. What creates a functional, healthy dynamic is the ability of the group to maintain a tight relationship to reality.
(p. 433) Groups will tend to lose connection to their original purpose, particularly with any success. You want to keep reminding the group of its mission, adapting it if necessary but never drifting from this core.
(p. 433) Making people feel an integral part of a group creating something important satisfies a deep yet rarely met human need. Once members experience this, they are motivated to keep the healthy dynamic alive and vital.
(p. 434) Never hire friends as your lieutenants.
(p. 434) If there are sacrifices to be made, share in them as much as any member [of the group]. You will make it harder for people to feel envious and resentful, which can sow divisions and make people political.
(p. 435) Consider the open communication of ideas and information the lifeblood of the group. You want to encourage frank discussion up and down the line, with members trusting that they can do so. Listen to your foot soldiers.
(p. 435) The more expansive the deliberation process, the greater the connection to reality, and the better your decisions.
(p. 435) Establish as much transparency as possible. When decisions are mode, […] share with the team how they came about and for what purpose.
(p. 436) Showing a lack of fear and an overall openness to new ideas will have the most therapeutic effect of all on the group. The members will become less defensive, which encourages them to think more on their own, and not operate as automatons.
(p. 437) Being a dysfunctional group can make individuals unstable and neurotic. The opposite is true as well: by participating in a high-functioning reality group, we can make ourselves healthy and whole.
(p. 437) (Friedrich Nietzsche) “Madness is something rare in individuals – but in groups, parties, peoples, and ages it is the rule.”
(p. 438) ⭐ Authority is the delicate art of creating the appearance of power, legitimacy, and fairness while getting people to identify with you as a leader who is in their service.
(p. 454) As leaders, we must realize that we are actually in a weak position. Everything we get from others, and most definitely their respect, must be earned. We have to show that our primary consideration is not ourselves and our sensitive egos but the welfare of the group.
(p. 455) It is a fundamental fact of human nature that our emotions are almost always ambivalent, rarely pure and simple. We can feel love and hostility at the same time, or admiration and envy.
(p. 456) [Don’t mistake smiles and applause for support.]
(p. 456) People almost always show deference to those above them, because their personal fate is in the hands of such leaders and they cannot afford to show their true feelings.
(p. 459) We must not succumb to political pressures to seem fairer, and so dilute our vision. This vision of ours is beyond politics. Be merciless with those who try to sabotage this vision or work against the greater good. Toughness and empathy are not incompatible.
(p. 459) The twin pillars of authority are vision and empathy.
(p. 460) [As leaders,] if the members lose respect and trust in us, we must see this as our own fault.
(p. 462) What is behind progressive ideas of consensus, the minimal leader, and the parent as friend, is actually a great fear of responsibility, of the tough choices that must be made, of standing out and taking the heat.
(p. 463) ⭐ Certainly at times you may have to use force, rewards and punishments, and inspiring speeches. The less your need of such devices, the greater your authority.
(p. 466) Train yourself to disconnect from the emotions roiling the group. Force yourself to raise your vision, to imagine the larger picture. Entertain the perspective of the enemy. Listen to the ideas of outsiders.
(p. 466) As the leader, you must be seen working as hard or even harder than everyone else.
(p. 466) If there are sacrifices that need to be made, you are the first to make them for the good of the group. This sets the proper tone.
(p. 467) As a leader, develop toughness or you will not last very long in the position. You will always have plenty of time to reveal that softer, kinder side that is really you, but if you start soft, you signal that you are a pushover.
(p. 468) If you are too present and familiar, always available and visible, you seem too banal.
(p. 468) It is best to lean slightly more in the direction of absence, so that when you do appear before the group, you generate excitement and drama.
(p. 468) Talking too much is a type of overpresence that grates and reveals weakness. Silence is a form of absence and withdrawal that draws attention; it spells self-control and power; when you do talk, it has a greater effect.
(p. 468) Never appear to take, always to give. Taking something from people they have assumed they possessed (money, rights, privileges, time) creates a basic insecurity and will call into question your authority and all the credit you have amassed.
(p. 468) Try to frame any loss of resources or privileges as temporary and make it clear how quickly you will restore them.
(p. 469) ⭐ Not giving what you promised to deliver will feel like something you have taken away.
(p. 470) You have a responsibility to contribute to the culture and times you live in. To serve this higher purpose, you must cultivate what is unique about you.
(p. 470) Judge things and people f or yourself. Question what you think and why you feel a certain way.
(p. 471) Moments of depression are a call to listen to your inner authority.

Chapter 16: See the Hostility Behind the Friendly Façade

(p. 490) The louder they proclaim their convictions, the more certain you can be they’re hiding something.
(p. 490) Aggressors often get their way because you fear that in fighting them, you have too much to lose in the present. But you must calculate instead what you have to lose in the long term.
(p. 494) ⭐ Feelings of love often turn to hostility and aggression in people, because it is in love that we feel most dependent, vulnerable, and helpless.
(p. 496) Human aggression stems from an underlying insecurity, as opposed to simply an impulse to hurt or take from others.
(p. 496) Hypersensitivity to criticism is a sign of great inner weakness. A person who is truly strong from within can endure criticism and open discussion without feeling personally threatened.
(p. 497) The aggressor’s trap: The more power they get, and the larger their empire, the more point of vulnerability they create; they have more rivals and enemies to worry about. This sparks in them the need to be more and more aggressive and gain more and more power.
(p. 510) If people know what it is that you want and how to get it for you, they have some power over you. If they are consistent, you can even grow dependent on their work, and they can squeeze concessions out of you by threatening to leave.
(p. 513) By lowering your ambitions, you limit your possibilities and diminish your energy. In trying to appear unambitious, you are just as self-absorbed as anyone else; being so humble and saintly is your ambition, and you want to make a display of it.
(p. 515) Understand the power of persistence and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
(p. 516) What makes anger toxic is the degree to which it is disconnected from reality.
(p. 517) Bring your anger closer to a simmer than a boil.

Chapter 17: Seize the Historical Moment

(p. 543) The time period that we are living through generally comprises four generations alive at the same time. The blending of these generations creates the overall spirit of the times, known as the zeitgeist.
(p. 544) We humans feel a deep need to believe in something, and when we begin to doubt and question the old order and sense a vacuum in our values, we can go a little mad. Charlatans and demagogues thrive in such periods.
(p. 554) It is never wise to preach or moralize or condemn the spirit of the times. You will only marginalize yourself. Better to find a way to gently redirect it, instead of fighting its direction.
(p. 550) If you are younger, try to interact more with those of older generations. If you are older, reverse this by actively interacting with those of a younger generation, not as a parent or authority figure but as a peer.
(p. 550) We are not as superior to those in the past as we like to imagine.
(p. 559) We do not emerge in life as blank slates, divorced from millions of years of evolution. All that we think and experience, our most intimate thoughts and beliefs, are shaped by the struggles of past generations.

(Read 96) The Laws of Human Nature

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